Conflicted (The Corded Saga Book 3)

by Alyssa Rose Ivy

  “Why won’t you answer that question?” Her hand balled into a fist on the mattress. “How hard could that be?”

  “I thought there were no leaders here.” Bolton leaned back against the far wall.

  “What makes you think I’m a leader?” Clayton turned his attention to Bolton.

  “It’s easy to spot a leader if you know what to look for.” Bolton straightened up.

  “There are no leaders here.” Clayton clenched his jaw.

  “Keep saying that. It doesn’t change anything.” Bolton adjusted the bag on his shoulder.

  “Why are you fixated on leaders?” Michael strode further into the room.

  “Because it shows the holes in your argument.” I was exhausted, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t do my part to figure out what the hell was going on.

  “Or so you think.” Pleasure cross Clayton’s face.

  If I wasn’t careful my anger was going to get the best of me. As much as I wanted to let loose on this man, I knew it would expose us all to greater danger, and I couldn’t risk that.

  “Either you have leaders here or you don’t. It shouldn’t be a difficult question to answer.” Kayla sighed. “But evidently you don’t believe in answering anything.”

  “The question is why you care. How does it change anything?” Clayton crossed his arms.

  “Because it lets us know how deep the lies go.” Her words were sharp.

  “Who says there are lies?” He raised an eyebrow. “What makes you think we’ve misled you at all?”

  “There is no such thing as a place without leaders. It doesn’t exist.”

  “What do you know of where you are?” Clayton sat on the edge of one of the bare beds. “You arrived in the dark and you have had no time to explore or learn.”

  “It’s called the Glen, and you guys are crazy about rules.” Quinn stroked Bailey’s hair.

  He laughed. “You are right about both of those things.”

  “You admit to being crazy about rules?” Her eyes widened.

  “Rules are for the good of everyone involved.” He clasped his hands together, letting his fingers slip between each other. They looked like snakes to me. Snakes that might be the end to us all.

  “Says who? Those who make the rules to benefit themselves.” Kayla put a hand on Faith’s back. Faith had so far managed to sleep through the visit. I hoped one day the girls would know peace and security. There were so many horrors in our world, but they deserved better. They deserved hope.

  “You are a sharp one, eh?” He smiled at Kayla.

  “I’m not naïve. None of us are.”

  “And neither am I.” Clayton crossed his legs at the ankles. “Neither am I.”

  “And what is that supposed to mean?” She met his intense gaze.

  “It means what it sounds like.”

  She closed her eyes. “This is getting old. Very. Very old.”

  “Did you all get enough sleep?” Clayton rose to his feet.

  “No.” Kayla looked at me. “We had to sleep in shifts.”

  “Then we will leave you for another few hours.” Without another word, he walked out the door. Michael followed. The lock clicked again.

  Nineteen

  Kayla

  I didn’t like him. Clayton. I didn’t like the other one either, but Clayton was dangerous. I knew it from the moment he’d opened his mouth. He was trying to appear nice, but that only made it more vital that I stay alert. His comment about not being naive unnerved me. Did he know that our companions weren’t the fathers of our girls? Or was he implying something else entirely? There were so many horrible possibilities it made my head spin. Where was the good in the world? Where was the safety? The end of this nightmare? And where was Mason? Had he reached the wall? Was he ever coming back—although coming back to where he’d left from wouldn’t bring him to me.

  “Get some more sleep.” Bolton stood in front of the door. Maverick had fallen asleep within minutes of Clayton and Michael leaving. I appreciated Maverick’s willingness to take first watch. As short as our rest was, it had helped. I was at least functioning now. My arms still ached from the hours of carrying Faith, but physical exhaustion was an easier state for me to handle.

  “I’m not tired.” Everyone else was sleeping. Quinn and the girls were all fast asleep. I was grateful for that. I hoped Faith would never remember any of this.

  “You can let go once in a while. I can handle this.” Bolton didn’t move from his spot by the doors, but his intense impression made it feel like he was much closer.

  “This isn’t the matter of who can handle what. This is about me having a lot on my mind.”

  “You miss him.” Bolton leaned back against the door.

  This was the first time anyone had mentioned Mason since we’d left the camp. I’d kept my thoughts and feelings to myself. Like I always did until Bolton or Quinn pressed me and I let some of it out.

  “Of course, I do.” I missed him all the time, but I couldn’t allow myself to dwell on those feelings. In the beginning, I’d given myself permission to think of him only at night. To remember the feel of his skin. To reflect on how safe and protected I felt in his arms. But that was then. This was now. Things were even more dangerous, and I couldn’t take the chance of distracting myself for a second.

  “If he’s alive he’ll find you.” Bolton’s expression was unreadable. Serious and pensive.

  “He’s alive.” I wouldn’t give up that hope. Faith deserved to meet her father. I gave her so little, surely I would be able to give her that.

  “Okay. He’ll find you.” Bolton shifted his weight from foot to foot.

  “You’re not going to argue with me about being realistic?” I expected it. I needed it. His pushback kept me grounded and even more determined.

  “What would be the point of that? Arguing is a waste of time.”

  “Even when it comes to arguing with Quinn?” I was only half teasing. Their arguing was so natural it was almost strange without it.

  “Yes.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “We can’t afford that. We are all on the same team, and it needs to stay that way.”

  Everything had changed the moment we were pulled out of the water. We were in uncharted territory, and trusting each other while working together was the only hope we had. “When they open the doors next time, they are going to try to separate us.”

  “Of course, they will. That doesn’t mean we’ll let them.” His right hand balled into a fist at his side.

  “So, you’ve come up with a plan?” I hoped he had. We knew so little about this place that getting out seemed hopeless. I couldn’t feel hopeless. There was always a way.

  “The plan is to fight it. They won’t hurt you or the girls.”

  “Or so you think.” I could think of plenty of ways they could hurt us. I thought of little Bailey in Central. Quinn still didn’t know what had happened to her, and it was likely we never would.

  “They need you.” Bolton’s voice broke me out of my thoughts.

  “Don’t be naïve. You know exactly what they need Quinn and me for.”

  “I’m not going to let that happen.” His voice was strong. Determined. He had grown up so much since we’d first met. It was hard to believe he was the same boy who’d helped me escape the traders. He’d always had that inner strength; he’d just needed to push to bring him out. I wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad thing. Sometimes I wondered how much happier he’d have been if he’d been able to spend his life tending a peach orchard. But that life was no longer a possibility. For any of us.

  “Can I ask you something?” It was easier to ask questions in the near dark. Somehow it made me feel less exposed even though the same words would be heard.

  “Sure.” He leaned back against the wall.

  “Why are you here?”

  “The same reasons you are.” He crossed his arms over his chest.

  “I mean—well, you could be doing so many different things. Why stay with us?
We put a target on your back.” Maybe he couldn’t have his family and the peach orchard, but he could be doing so many different things.

  “You know the answer to that.” His eyes were heavy with exhaustion. I’d take over as next watch soon.

  I sat up more, careful not to wake up Faith. “I don’t.”

  “What do you want me to say, Kayla? That I love you? That I’d do anything to be with you? What’s the point of admitting that when you are still in love with Mason? Why hurt you when I don’t have to?” Maybe the darkness was making him more honest too.

  “Is that really the only reason you are here?” I wasn’t sure why I was pressing him. Maybe it was the exhaustion, or maybe it was the realization that we’d likely be forced apart in a few hours. The guilt was setting in.

  “I care about you. Whether you like it or not.”

  “I care about you too.” I did. I cared about him in a deep and intense way, but my heart belonged to Mason. It always would.

  “Do you ever wonder what would have happened had we stuck to my plan?”

  “To the peach orchard plan?” I closed my eyes and imagined the trees heavy with ripe fruit. The paths winding between them. The small white farmhouse off in the distance. It all looked pretty, yet I knew that life was never meant for me.

  “Yes.”

  I opened my eyes to find him watching me. Something in his expression made me think he could read my mind. He could see me imagining it all.

  Those thoughts were ridiculous. Bolton was an ordinary man. He hadn’t been worked on by Central. If he had any sort of gifts they were naturally born. And if he could read minds he’d be somewhere very far from here. “There wouldn’t be Faith so I can’t think about that.”

  He nodded. “I understand. I have edited her into my visions. Of course.”

  “I hope you find happiness one day.” I did. Even if the selfish side of me was so glad to have him around. That side knew I needed him, and that wasn’t fair. Nothing about my relationship with him was fair.

  “I’ve already found more happiness than I ever thought I would.”

  I considered his words. They were moving yet horribly sad.

  He continued. “Our friendship means more to me than you will ever know. And getting to help with Faith—she may not be my daughter, but that doesn’t change the fact that I love her as if she were.”

  He wasn’t lying. I knew it. I knew it from the way he interacted with her. The way he cared for her. I’d taken it for granted. I’d taken so much about him for granted. “Thank you.”

  He shrugged. “It comes naturally.”

  “Do you ever wonder what happened to Ethan?” He was a friend—the one that I always thought would have been more, but he was also Bolton’s cousin. They had a relationship that went far beyond me.

  “Yes, but then again I wondered what happened to make him leave in the first place.”

  “He went looking for more. Is that really all that surprising?” I’d accepted Ethan’s decision right away even though it hurt. I imagined that being rejected always hurt, but being rejected for the mere possibility of someone else sounded far worse.

  “When the alternative was to stay with you, yes.” Bolton yawned.

  I knew he wasn’t bored with the conversation, he was tired. He had every reason to be. “In the end, he would have ended up in a worse spot.”

  “Not necessarily, and even if he did, what would that matter? He’d have had the chance to be with you. To really truly be with you.”

  “Quinn,” Maverick mumbled.

  I looked over as he rolled back over. He was talking in his sleep. I smiled. I was glad Quinn had someone who cared about her so much.

  “Think she’s ever going to give him a chance?” Bolton nodded in Maverick’s direction.

  “It’s not as if we have time for that now.” We’d had the time before, but she hadn’t been ready, and even though on the outside she’d acted calm and settled, maybe she never had been.

  “If you keep using that excuse there will never be time.” Bolton rubbed the stubble on his chin.

  “My point exactly.”

  “Eventually we will all have to start living.”

  “But not now. Not in this mess.” I spread my hands up toward the ceiling.

  “We’ll get out of this mess.” He put his foot against the wall. “I know we will.”

  “We have to. I can’t let anything happen to Faith or Bailey.”

  He nodded. “The girls always come first. We know that.”

  “Does Maverick know that?” I lowered my voice to a whisper. “I know he’s dedicated… but he’d put Quinn first, wouldn’t he?”

  Bolton shook his head. “He knows what Quinn would do if anything happened to either of the girls. He wouldn’t risk them.”

  I nodded, but I couldn’t help wondering if Bolton was right. Maverick treated the girls well, but his intense feelings for Quinn seemed stronger than anything else. Love could do crazy things to a person.

  “You do need to get some sleep.”

  “So do you.” I’d caught the yawn even if he thought I’d missed it.

  “Are you planning on holding Faith all day?”

  “Of course.” She was too young and our location too dangerous to allow her to get down and explore.

  “Then you need the sleep more.”

  “If you say so.” I stretched out beside Faith. Maybe I should have argued more, but I would have had to have had the energy for that.

  “I do.”

  “Thanks, Bolton.” I closed my eyes.

  “You already thanked me.”

  “I’m thanking you again.”

  “You’re welcome. And thank you.”

  “What are you thanking me for?” I opened my eyes and turned toward him.

  “For giving me more than I expected out of life.”

  “You’ll be happy one day.”

  “And so will you.”

  I drifted off to sleep with his words echoing through my head.

  Twenty

  Mason

  I tried to make sense of what I was seeing. A lab in the middle of the desert? A lab clearly run by Central—or something very similar to it. This was a government-run facility. I had no doubts about that.

  “Is this what you looked for?” The first boy asked. He needed a name. But was I the right one to name him? Would that be presumptuous of me? It wasn’t like me to question things so much, but I could no longer go headlong into anything anymore. I debated every move even when I knew that was dangerous. I could blame Kayla for that. She’d changed me in ways I was only now beginning to see.

  “Uh, not exactly, but I’m glad we get to see it. Thank you.” I tried to push away my surprise and stay focused.

  “This is crazy.” Addison examined a set of computers off to the side of the room. Like the rest of the equipment, they were stark white. “Do you think this is Central?”

  “If it’s not Central it’s the government’s crazy cousin.” Benji hopped up to sit on a table—the kind of table that was likely used as a bed for a patient when running tests. “How close to the intelligence were you, Mason?”

  “Not close. I was pushed out before I could get further along.” My thoughts went back to those last days in the System. To packing up and leaving. To my character being too strong for what they wanted me to do. I’d thought those were dark days, but they were all worth it since it ultimately brought me to Kayla. Now I needed to find my way back to her. How much time had passed? I could no longer count the days. They were all blurring together into a dark mass of time.

  “Mason?” Benji snapped. “Are you listening?”

  “Yes. Sorry.” I pushed those thoughts away. Now wasn’t the time to get sucked into the past.

  “What does any of this mean? How does it help?” Addison watched several of the kids running around the room. They were playing some sort of game, but I couldn’t identify which one it was. There seemed to be several kids doing the chasing,
and they only tagged certain others.

  “I don’t know that it helps,” I admitted. “We were hoping to find a cure. This suggests something else entirely.” Had our entire mission been a waste? I never should have left Kayla.

  “But it gives us some information.” Benji got off the table. “And all information is potentially useful.”

  Benji’s optimism was surprisingly contagious. I snapped out of my thoughts and set to work exploring the lab. I recognized a lot of the machines, but not all of them. This was the time when we needed Denver. He knew how everything ran. How everything connected. My gut was they were cloning in here, which meant the kids were what I’d originally thought they were. That didn’t make them any less of kids—they still deserved protection.

  “The first thing we need to determine is whether they abandoned this lab, or merely left for a short while.” Thomas pressed on the screen of one of the computers. Nothing happened. He ran his hands over the back, along the sides. I assumed he was looking for some sort of switch or button.

  “Or if they never left and are watching us.” That possibility kept circling my head. If this was a Central operation, they’d have eyes everywhere.

  “What would they be watching for?” Addison looked all around us. “We’ve been sitting ducks for a while now.”

  “Who knows.” I shrugged. “Does there have to be a reason for the madness?”

  “Don’t lose it on us, Mason.” Thomas patted my shoulder. “Something here is triggering you. You can’t let it do that.”

  “I’m here. I’m focused.” I would be. I had to be.

  “Where do you come from?” The boy asked. So far the rest of the children hadn’t talked. I wondered if they were shy or if they couldn’t. Had something gone wrong in the cloning process?

  Addison bent down to match his height. “From the other side of the wall.”

  “The wall?” The boy frowned.

  “There’s a big wall a few hours from here.”

  “We’ve never left home.”