Tournament of Supervillainy

by Phipps, C. T.

  “You really have so little faith in your daughters?” Moses asked.

  “Daughters,” I said, pausing. “So you know about Gabrielle.”

  Moses put his hand on my shoulder. “I know you’ll do right by her.”

  “This is a conversation I’d rather not have with my wife’s ghost three feet away,” I said.

  “Same here,” Moses said, his eyes flickering with a bit of menace.

  “Meep,” I said, feeling suddenly very small.

  Mandy laughed at that.

  “Can I have a moment alone with Gary?” Lancel said.

  “Sure,” Moses said, stepping away.

  “Try not to take too long,” Mandy said, pausing. “We’re running out of time, even in this place, before Entropicus crushes his head and the universe ends.”

  “Yeah, speaking of that, anyone got any God-Killing Maguffins around here?” I asked, looking around. “Ark of the Covenant? Moses’ staff? I’ll even take the Spear of Destiny and talk with my rabbi about it later. Nobody? Well, that sucks.”

  Mandy walked away and I watched her depart with every step.

  “I’m like ninety percent sure this is all a near-death experience,” I said, watching her walk away. “One last gasp of dream hallucination before I die.”

  “You know ghosts and Death yet you don’t believe in near-death experiences?” Lancel asked.

  “No, I believe in them,” I said, pausing. “I just know the difference between a dying dream and an actual visit to the afterlife.”

  “Which is?”

  “The afterlife sucks,” I said, sighing. “At least as far as I can tell. Which is really the argument here, that this place between isn’t the real one and it just is a waiting room for the other side that never opens its doors.”

  Lancel put his hand on my shoulder. “That’s why we have to open it. I’ll never see my wife, child, and you’ll never see your father again if you don’t end this.”

  “You ever wonder if there isn’t anything beyond the waiting room?”

  “Yes.”

  I took a deep breath. “I’m not going to persuade you that we should just suck it up and the good you guys do in the world far outweighs the evil by letting the villains back too.”

  “No.”

  I thought of Leia. “I can’t endanger my daughter either. I’m going to have another daughter?”

  “Yes. Mindy Moesha Anders or Karkofsky if you marry Gabrielle.”

  “Okay, I name her after Cindy AND Mandy? How the hell does that fly?”

  “Don’t ask me.”

  “Was Gabrielle just not allowed at the birth certificate? Too high on Ultranian drugs?”

  “That’s not what I wanted to talk to you about, Gary.”

  “Oh.”

  Lancel lowered his gaze. “I’d like you to carry a message to Amanda and Galahad.”

  He was referring to Nightgirl and Mr. Inventor.

  “Yeah?” I asked.

  “I’d like them to know they have my blessing to carry on the fight,” Lancel said, looking down at the ground. “I became the Nightwalker to try to atone for my mistakes that caused the death of my family and later dishonored their memory. Sunlight, Nightgirl, and Mr. Inventor were unintentional byproducts of that but they made something I considered my cross to be something good as well as pure. I wanted to thank them for that and I’m never going to get the chance.”

  “You’re not convincing me to do this wish, even if I can somehow beat a being who kills gods.”

  “The trick to understanding how to kill gods, Gary, is to know their power is in their worshipers.”

  “That’s it?” I asked, looking at him. “You can’t go with something a little more clear like, ‘use the Spell of Aga-ma-hootoo’ or he’s weak to the color purple? I mean, that’s also nonsensical because obviously gods have to gather worshipers so they can’t start with them.”

  Lancel sighed and felt his head. “Entropicus draws his power from Abaddon using his own cloak. Despite serving Destruction, he is still linked to death. That’s the only insights I can give you since I don’t have any magical powers that can defeat him on me and even if I did—you wouldn’t be able to use them.”

  “Great,” I said, sighing. I’ll pass it along.”

  I felt a little disappointed since Lancel had been in my head for years and was one of the few people I could genuinely say I admired. I was a bit of the middle child, though, overlooked compared to those who he had inspired that had followed his path more directly. Mandy, herself, had been inspired by the Nightwalker and it had led to her short but victorious career. Thousands of lives saved during the zombie apocalypse in Falconcrest City only to end saving one.

  Lancel placed his hand on my shoulder. “Gary, I want you to also know something.”

  “Yeah?”

  “I’m proud of you.”

  I blinked. “Really?”

  “You were an angry, selfish, impatient, and kind of stupid—”

  “Hey!”

  “You’re right, the stupid part was never true. But you have become a much wiser and more heroic figure.”

  “Shh, you’ll ruin my rep.”

  Lancel took a deep breath. “I don’t approve of everything you’ve done. I don’t have to, though, and I have no room to judge. Instead, I just want you to listen to that little voice inside your head that tells what is right from wrong.”

  “That voice used to be you.”

  “Try to be happy, Gary,” Lancel said, his voice low and brooding. “I never quite managed it.”

  “I’ll try and figure out a way to do that with my dead wife, family, and friends plus an endless life of fighting.”

  “Not endless,” Lancel said. “Not if you win. Then death is a respite.”

  “Speak for yourself, I’m never going to die.”

  Lancel didn’t speak for a moment. “Godspeed, Gary.”

  “Let’s hope not. He’s a bit slow for my tastes.”

  I gave Lancel another hug.

  “Really, Gary?”

  “Quiet, No Hugs Man. Consider this an attack if it feels better.”

  Lancel reluctantly patted me on my back. “There, there. This is going to make no sense to you, Gary, until you talk to either G or Jane but you’re the Jason Todd of my Bat-Family.”

  “Eh?”

  “There’s not a lot to do here but watch alternate realities.”

  “Okay,” I said, confused.

  “It means, no matter what, you’re still family.”

  I smiled. “Anything else I should know?”

  “I do have one question for my friend,” the Nightwalker said. “Do you love Gabrielle?”

  I closed my eyes. “When I was eighteen and just moved out, I remember meeting Gabrielle for the first time. She wasn’t Ultragoddess, she was just the pizza girl. She was trying desperately to live something of a normal life so she didn’t go insane. This despite the fact she was worried she could be saving lives twenty-four seven. The very act of being normal, a part of the lives and suffering of regular people, was important to her so she could not lose perspective on the little guy.”

  “I remember,” Lancel said, sighing. “It was after college she had to give up her normal life completely and live continually as Ultragoddess.”

  “Back then, though, she was just the overworked, underpaid, and incredibly stressed girl who literally once passed out on my couch every Thursday. That was the girl I fell in love with, not Ultragoddess, and I still see her in Gabrielle. I just worry both of us have changed that we’ll never be able to be together.”

  Truth be told, I’d never loved Ultragoddess versus Gabrielle because I’d always blamed the former for breaking us up, but I couldn’t do that anymore. Her sense of duty, desire to help others, and responsibility was as much a part of her as the quirky girl addicted to Kelly Clarkson. Who, by the way, I hate but lied about loving the music of for five years.

  I didn’t know if we’d be able to reconcile ourselves
given the fact the world needed Ultragoddess more than ever and I wasn’t about to stop being Merciless—but it was worth a try. Maybe. I didn’t know if I was capable of loving anyone romantically after being unable to tell my wife was a girl wearing her skin. What did that say about me?

  “I believed the job of protecting others was irreconcilable with love,” Lancel said. “Don’t.”

  “Says the man who didn’t get his wife killed.”

  Lancel stared at me.

  “Oh right,” I said, remembering that was his frigging origin story. “Sorry.”

  “Mandy died saving the life of another. Don’t dishonor that.”

  I looked over at her. “I never would, but I won’t forget she wouldn’t have been there in the first place if not for me.”

  “It was my choice, Gary,” Mandy said, apparently able to hear from what I thought was too far away.

  “Yeah.” I closed my eyes and nodded to the Nightwalker. “Thanks, Lancelot. May you beat up Satan and have a nifty storm cloud to play your harp on.”

  That was when I felt my rib collapse in or something damn near closer o it. Falling to my knees, I tasted blood.

  “I think Entropicus is about to finish me off,” I muttered, spitting on the ground.

  “Go with God, Gary,” Lancel said.

  Mandy rushed to my side and gave me one final kiss.

  And then they were gone.

  Forever.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  UNDERDOG FOREVER

  I woke up to Entropicus hoisting me above his head with one hand. I could barely breathe and I felt like most of the bones in my body were broken.

  “Now, you die,” Entropicus said.

  “Do…you have to…sound…like…an Eighties movie…villain?” I managed to grunt out.

  Entropicus drew his fist back as he caused it to glow with an unholy purple light.

  That was when I used the Ultra-force to jam the shards of Caliburn into his back wound, shoving them in deep before conjuring a glowing alien laser that sealed up the wound.

  Entropicus hissed before dropping me. “What have you done?”

  “I figured putting some magical holy items in your body would fuck your shit up,” I said, trying to figure out Nightwalker’s last words.

  “I can heal anything,” Entropicus said, his skull-like visage contorting in just enough of a manner to let me know he was in agony. “This is my place of power.”

  “Not the best thing for you to say,” I said, slapping my hands down on the ground and drawing from the magical energies below. It was just like when I stole Merciful’s entire power source and used it to make Opposite Earth.

  In seconds, I felt myself charged above and beyond anything I’d ever felt. It was vile, evil, destruction energy, but it was also the essence of Death. I felt my muscles grow thicker and my eyes glow as Entropicus’ power became matched. If not for the fact he was here, he would have been clobbered by Ultragoddess of Guinevere.

  “Thief!” Entropicus growled and blasted me with is Hate Beams.

  I blasted them back, managing to hold them back until the pawn of his injury caused him to stop. Which was good because he was winning the contest.

  Entropicus laughed. “This might actually prove interesting. You are still surrounded by those who would bring about your end. Even if I should fall, you will be torn to pieces by my subjects. Your loved ones will die and their death cries will be the last thing you hear.”

  I looked over to see Mandy and Cindy fighting against the Hellazons with a depowered Gabrielle who’d managed to steal an energy staff. The others were unconscious on the ground, having expended their power fighting Entropicus.

  “Yes, well I suppose that means I have to think outside of the box,” I said, turning back to him.

  “Century Box, does this planet have a core? The spinning metal kind or, I dunno, Death Star reactor?”

  “Affirmative,” it said, projecting a bunch of information into his brain.

  “Gotcha,” I said, aloud, before channeling every bit of stolen energy in my hands down through the ground into the heart of Abaddon.

  Entropicus blasted me with his Hate Beams and sent me flying through the air, but it was already too late. The entirety of the coliseum shook as towers began to fall and I felt earthquakes start spreading throughout the planet.

  “What have you done?” Entropicus shouted, growling.

  “I’m pretty sure I’m causing the planet to blow up,” I said, pausing. “You know, the one you’re drawing all of your power from.”

  “You don’t have the belly,” Entropicus growled.

  I stared at him, ice cold eyes. “Villain.”

  Entropicus wasn’t the kind of guy who would let his power base die, even if he could rebuild it. He also couldn’t take me seriously enough to believe I could possibly pose a threat, stolen energy or not. If I was wrong, well, then I was about to kill however many billions of people on this planet as well as all of my loved ones.

  But I wasn’t wrong.

  “Damn you,” Entropicus snarled, blasting the ground with his power to deal with the damage I’d done even as it prevented him from drawing from the planet’s power.

  That gave me one shot.

  So I hit him with every single bit of Ultra-Force in my body. The energy poured forth and struck Entropicus in the chest, burning the remains of his flesh as well as weakening the Nega-Force in his power. They weren’t opposites, though, but opposite sides of the same coin. So I drew from the power I’d stolen and converted it into Ultra-Force to continue the attack. I’d stolen as much power as I could from Abaddon and it was enough to shatter planets.

  This was much-much more.

  In the end, though, I felt the Ultra-Force dissipate from my body. I had exhausted every bit of power in my body as well as all of the magic. It would regenerate in my friends as our connection to it was severed.

  Smoke, flame, and ash covered Entropicus in a cloud before it dissipated. There, on fire, stepped out the naked form of the evil god. Looking tremendously pissed off.

  “Well, that sucks,” I said, staring at him.

  Entropicus charged at me, his face absent of anything but pure rage. I ducked under his blow and ran out underneath his fists to the other side of the coliseum, the ground cracking beneath us and opening up to burning lava miles below.

  “Get over here!” Entropicus called.

  I couldn’t help myself and burst out laughing, pointing at him, despite being more scared than I ever was in my life.

  “What are you laughing about?” Entropicus screamed.

  “I’m sorry, it’s just that’s what Scorpion in Mortal Kombat says whenever he throws a dart at his enemies before drawing him back,” I said, pointing out. “It’s just hilarious. I mean, are you doing this deliberately?”

  “Argh!” Entropicus leapt into the air at me, the chasm between us widening tremendously until it was half the length of the coliseum. The heat grew hotter and hotter as the lava raised up into a lake of fire.

  He was going to make it, though.

  “Century Box, can you make a gun?” I asked. “A really-really big gun?”

  “Affirmative,” the Century Box said.

  “Do it.”

  An Ultranian gravity gun appeared on my shoulder and I fired it, sending a blast of energy that struck Entropicus in his chest. It increased his gravity a million times and sent him falling into the flaming horror below.

  “I cannot be destroyed!” Entropicus shouted, slowly falling like it was an action movie.

  “We’ll see about that,” I said, blasting him a second time and causing him to sink into the lava.

  I threw down the gun and then blasted the lava with my ice powers, drawing on the energies of Abaddon for a second time. They sealed Abaddon within as the massive crater became an enormous lump of igneous rock.

  I took a deep breath. “Finally, he’s dead.”

  “Negative,” the Century Box said.

 
; That was when a glowing fist smashed through the top of the rock with Entropicus bashing his way through.

  “Oh come on!” I shouted, staring at the sight. “You’ve got to be kidding me!”

  “Round three!” Entropicus hissed.

  I floated down into the middle of the crater before shaking my head. “Come on, E, you can’t be that mad for destroying the universe! I mean, it’s got all manner of cool stuff! Ice cream, sex, and puppy dogs! Objective goods!”

  Entropicus started walking toward me but he stumbled with every step, swaying back and forth as if he was drunk. “I am Entropicus, I am the end of all things, and I am the horror that makes humanity fear the dark. I will not be defeated….by….a wannabe comedian and his shitty plan to stab me with fragments of a holy sword!”

  That was when glowing blasts of light shot forth out of holes that appeared across his skin, one after the other. Light started pouring out of his eyes and mouth as he came within ten feet of me before falling to his knees. The monster tried to mouth something before aiming his hand at me then clenching into a fist.

  Before exploding.

  Burning pieces of dead deity showered over my face and body as I tried to cover myself with the edge of my cloak.

  “Holy shit, did that actually work?” I asked, looking at the remains of the Dark Lord.

  “Affirmative,” the Century Box said.

  “Wow,” I said, looking at the coliseum’s fans in the stands. There were only about half left, the others either killed or having fled during the battle. They were silent in pure, stunned disbelief. I could empathize. Raising my hands, I addressed them, “Okay, by the sacred rules of action movies, I am now your king!”

  “Kill him!”

  “Avenge Lord Entropicus!”

  “Ah fuck,” I muttered.

  That was when a glowing ball of Ultra-Force appeared around me as Gabrielle hovered above with a second one nearby containing the others. Gabrielle had gathered us both up, even the false Mandy.

  “The tournament is over!” Gabrielle said, addressing the crowds around us. “This fight is over! The Tyrant God is dead! You are all free!”