“Naughty, naughty.” I whisper, biting down so hard on her neck that she growls like the wolf she is.
“You want therapy or do you want my cock?”
“Yes.” She replies, refusing to choose.
She knows I’ll give her both.
I bring the tendrils of the flogger down, snapping them against her pussy.
“Yes, what?”
“Yes, Sir.” The moan chokes her, her knees buckling on contact.
I take a step back trailing my fingers across her until I’m out of reach. “Good girl.” I praise.
I watch the shiver that takes over her spine at my words. She’s always loved those two words. I’d be willing to bet her pussy pulses and drips every time I say them to her.
The song switches over and it’s the perfect one to begin her therapy. When the first notes sound off, the flogger strikes her back, crackling against her skin. I don’t even need to ask what color she’s at. Her moan answers for her, a language my body is still finely tuned to.
My dicks pulses approvingly.
I swing again, this time allowing the tendrils to smack against her ass, bringing a beautiful shade of red across her skin in an instant.
“Oh fuuuuuuck.” She groans, encouraging me.
My dirty Little Wolf.
I trail the flogger against her back, keeping her in constant shivers of adrenaline and desire. Teasing her is almost as good as getting her off.
Remi is easily the most stunning woman on the planet. She doesn’t even try, she just simply is. But seeing her like this, everything else pales in comparison. She’s never more breathtaking than she is when she lets her kinks out to play. This has always been my favorite side of her. And it’s not even for sexual reasons.
No, like this… Remi is real. Raw. Uncensored. Moments like this, Remi is selfish. I always loved watching her take what she wanted, but there’s more to it now. Knowing what I know now, I see it for what it really is. Like this, Remi is free.
And it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life.
‘I want every single piece of you. I want your heaven and your oceans too. Treat me soft but touch me cruel. I wanna teach you things you never knew.’
Adele’s voice fills the air and her words make Remi mewl like a cat, starving for more.
I couldn’t have picked a better song if I tried.
I answer the pleas coming out of her throat, by moving in tandem with the beats of the drums, letting the song set our pace.
With each beat, my flogger cracks against Remi’s skin, lavishing her in exactly what she wants. Exactly what she needs. Her body quakes with every lash, moaning, trembling, and screaming, begging for me to fill her with my cock.
’Bring the floor up to my knees. Let me fall into your gravity. Then kiss me back to life to see your body standing over me. Baby don’t let the lights go down.’
The leather strikes against every inch of her unblemished skin, making sure she’s only experiencing pleasure, never an ounce of pain. I’d never allow anything to hurt her.
She’s too goddamn precious to me.
She can’t see me. She can’t touch me. All she can do is bask in the feelings of every lick of the leather against her skin. Every beat of the drums that I know she feels in her goddamn blood. And I know the minute I stick my dick inside of her, the minute I fill her up, she’s going to explode like a fucking crack in the sky, raining all over me.
The song builds louder, faster, more intense, and my vision damn near blurs with the need to sink myself so deep inside of her, that I can get so lost that I might never get found.
She goes crazy, bucking against her restraints, screaming in pleasure, her body shaking, wanting more. Needing more. Calling out my name, chanting it like it’s the answer to world peace.
‘I love the way your body moves. Towards me from across the room. Brushing past my every groove. No one has me like you do, ooh baby. Bring your heart, I’ll bring my soul.’
When I see Remi’s wetness reach the back of her knees, I can’t take it anymore. I can’t wait another second to be inside of her. The need is all-consuming, crawling up my spine, begging me to take what’s always been fucking mine.
I throw the flogger down and I’m touching her a split second later. Her skin is hot beneath my touch. Friction, sensation, adrenaline, everything’s rushing around inside of her, setting her whole body on fire. And she has no fucking idea how desperate I am to burn right along with her.
With her hands still tied, arms spread wide, like my own personal saint on a cross, I pick her up from behind, wrapping her legs around me. She clutches her legs around my hips as I slam into her.
“Yes!” She hisses, the word falling from her lips like an answered prayer.
I hold her hips steady as I fuck her raw, hard, and with abandon.
Just like she likes it.
“You’re fucking soaked, Little Wolf.”
Her juices drip down, covering me in seconds.
“Harder.” She begs, her breath ragged.
My hand flies to her throat, squeezing, causing her head to fall on my shoulder. I cradle her against me, loving how her body responds to every touch like it’s a personal wish being granted.
She grunts long and hard, her breathing so rough and ragged that I can feel it against my hand.
“Harder, what?”
“Harder, Sir. Please. I need it!” She begs.
I throw her on the bed, face first with no warning. The slack in the rope makes it perfect to do what I want, ensuring that she’s fully safe, yet restrained from having to catch herself as she falls when she so desperately wants me to take that burden from her.
I fist her wet hair in my hands, pulling her head back so that the top part of her body raises off the bed, and then I thrust back into her giving her exactly what she wants.
‘I miss you. When the lights go out. It illuminates all of my doubt. Pull me in. Hold me tight. Don’t let go. Baby, give me light.’
Remi has always been my light. Even though she’s been responsible for the darkest moments of my life, the love I’ve had for her, even when I hated her, was enough to illuminate my days without her.
Like a fucking moth to a flame.
I’ve always been hers.
And she will always be mine.
She’s always been this force to be reckoned with, pushing and pulling against my heart, just like she’s currently doing to my body. She gives as good as she gets, meeting me thrust for thrust. Using me as her own little fuck toy, taking what she wants. My balls tighten, knowing that she’s almost there.
“That’s it, Little Wolf. Use me. Take what’s yours.” I grit out through clenched teeth, losing myself in her.
“Oh, god. Brody. Yes, yes, yes!” She slams herself back on my cock, screaming her pleasure, the sound crashing against the walls. Her orgasm is so intense, she’s damn near convulsing underneath me. Her pussy throbs against me, milking my cock for all it’s worth. It’s so tight, so overwhelming, that white-hot fire licks its way up my spine as I erupt inside of her, her name clawing its way out of my throat.
I pull on the quick release knots I made on the ropes, bringing her arms down as I sag against her back. My breathing is ragged as white noise fills my ears, the pulsing of where we’re still joined, holding us at its mercy.
“I love you.” She says, sounding sated and grateful that I gave her what she wanted without even having to ask.
I lace our fingers together and smile into her back, knowing I’ll never grow tired of hearing those words fall from her lips.
“I love you too.”
I always have.
I always will.
Chapter Fourteen
Remi
I’ve been awake for the last several hours, never being one that’s slept in late. Brody’s still sleeping, his arms wrapped around me so tight that even if I wanted to move, I wouldn’t be able to
.
And trust me, I don’t want to.
My fingers draw lazy circles all over his chest, following the path of all his colorful tattoos that swirl into each other, never breaking off. He’s gotten so many new tattoos since I last saw him, I’m mesmerized by how different he looks underneath his shirt.
It’s an odd feeling, knowing someone better than you know yourself. Loving them for almost half your life, and yet being surprised by something as simple as how different their skin looks.
It reminds you how long you’ve been without them…
As beautiful as all of his tattoos are, looking at them hurts in a way that I wouldn’t have anticipated. All of these things matter enough to get inked into his flesh forever, and yet I don’t know what any of them mean to him. I don’t know why he got them or what they represent.
Except for the wolf.
The one that covers the entire left side of his chest.
I have a feeling I know why he got that one.
The words ‘Bad Moon White Again’ are scrawled out around the wolf, the same words he said when he left me in the backroom at Rogue, and yet I have no idea what they mean. And it hurts because I have a feeling it’s not a good thing. He made that very clear when my ass landed on the floor as he got away from me as fast as his legs could take him.
And I hate that.
I hate that he has permanent markings on his body with his hate for me.
It hurts so goddamn bad.
I trace the letters, over and over again, wishing like hell that they would disappear under my touch. Hating myself for ever hurting him in the first place when all I wanted was to protect him.
They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
My fate was sealed when the devil himself made me his little bitch, so it’s only fitting. And if hell is real, then I guess it’s the best kind of punishment for a girl like me. To be swallowed up by the flames when all I want is to drown in the rain.
Yeah, that’s karma at its finest.
And I have no right to complain about it.
Even though I did what I thought was the right thing to do, even though I still stand by my decisions, it doesn’t mean that the path I traveled made me happy. It doesn’t mean I enjoyed it. It doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt.
But it was necessary.
I worry that one day Brody will wake up and realize he made the wrong choice. He’ll realize that he let his emotions take the steering wheel when he automatically wanted to be with me again. When he so quickly forgave and scooped me in his arms again.
His hate was so profound that he got it tattooed, making it one with himself. How can he abandon that so quickly when it’s what’s kept him going for so long? Each time that he looks in the mirror, he’ll have a reminder of why he hated me for so long. He’ll have this little voice in the back of his head, reminding him of all the pain I caused. What’s to say that that voice is stronger than mine?
I fear that it won’t be.
Hell, I’m scared he’ll wake up with me in his arms this morning and realize he made the wrong decision.
And if he does?
I’ll let him go.
I’d rather live with the pain of losing him than be the reason that he’s hurting in any way. Although I know that I could never walk away from him again, I refuse to put up a fight if he pushes me.
Honoring his wishes is the least I could do if that’s what he decides.
That’s the exact reason I didn’t unpack any of my stuff last night after he told me time and time again that he cleared a drawer out for me. That’s why my bag is still packed, sitting right next to the side of the bed that I’m sleeping on. That’s why I didn’t even leave my toothbrush on the countertop after I used it before we went to sleep.
Because he can change his mind at the drop of a dime.
And I’ll accept whatever he decides without a fight. Because I know I deserve to be punished for the hell I put him through.
Brody begins to stir, and I remove my hands from his body.
Just in case.
I suck in a breath, holding it steady, steeling myself for his reaction. Although I want his love as deeply as he’ll always have mine…
I know I don’t deserve it.
He nuzzles into my exposed neck, holding me even closer to his body, and I want to cry because I don’t know if this is a conscious movement or not. I don’t want to sink into his embrace, only to be rejected moments later when reality hits him all over again.
There’s a reason people tell you to ‘sleep on it’ before making decisions. And Brody? Hell, he changed his entire life in the blink of an eye.
I should have made him sleep on it.
“I like it when you touch me.” He whispers gruffly, his voice still rough with sleep.
I let out the breath I was holding but stay frozen in place.
“Remi?” He asks, confusion in his voice.
I turn to look at his open eyes and I hate the uncertainty I see in them. It only took a single night to change everything.
“What’s wrong, love?” He asks, cupping my cheek with a feather-light touch.
“What does bad moon white again mean?”
He closes his eyes, looking ashamed.
I knew it.
“Come here.” He whispers, pulling me on top of him so that we’re laying chest to chest. Eye to eye.
He’s gentle with me in a way that he never has been before as he pushes my hair behind my shoulders, then he’s tracing his fingers along my jawline. His touch is so light it feels like the whisper of the wind, smooth and comforting. Yet, unsteady.
“There’s a song that I’ve always loved, that always made me think of you, no matter what kind of headspace I was in. I’ve spent eleven years loving you with every beat of my heart, Rem. And with the way our relationship has always gone, I go back and forth between wondering if I’m not good enough for you, or if you were no good for me. Bad moon white again doesn’t have a definitive meaning to the rest of the world, but to me, it means a revolving door of never knowing because I never got to keep you. And even now that I have you back, after the sacrifices you’ve made for me, I still don’t feel worthy of your love. The lengths you’ve gone to in order to protect me, whether I like them or not is irrelevant, but it shows me that I have a long ways to go to earn the love you’ve given me.”
Tears fall down my cheeks, landing on the tattoo in question. When will he realize that it’s me who isn’t worthy of him?
“When you look at those words, do you look at them with hate?” I ask. I hate how my voice cracks with uncertainty. “Will they make you realize that it was a mistake to forgive me after everything I’ve done?”
“Oh no, baby. Not at all! I will look at these words every day as a reminder to never stop earning the love you have for me. It will be my reminder to never grow complacent just because I have you back.”
He leans forward and captures my lips with his own, pulling me as close as our bodies will allow. His thumb continuously brushes away my tears as they fall, never breaking our connection.
Brody’s the only person I’ve ever given my heart to. There’s never been anyone else for me. He came upon me on that beach, all those years ago, and captured my heart before I even knew it happened.
I had already been on the run for several years before I met him. I never allowed myself to make friends, to meet people, or to stay in one place long enough to be seen. I didn’t trust anyone but Liz and Ruger. I had to trust them out of necessity because at that point, there was no other option.
But when I met Brody? He was the first person that I ever laid any amount of trust in because he earned it. He was the first person I loved. The first person I truly knew. And the first person that wanted to know me.
Ruger and Liz wanted to help me survive, wanted to help me get justice. That was their primary goal. It’s literally Liz’s job. Hell, I have three brothers and I
know their names, but I don’t actually know any of them besides Ruger. Maybe Ruger loves me because I’m his sister, maybe his love is strictly out of obligation.
But he’s never once said those words to me.
My own brother, my flesh and blood, the man who saved me from the basement of horrors, has never once told me he loved me.
Although we’ve talked throughout the years, it was always about my RICO case. I don’t even know who he really is. But I love him because he’s my brother and because he saved me. It feels like an obligation rather than a choice. How can you truly love someone if you don’t even know them?
But I love Brody because I know him. I love him because of everything he is and everything he isn’t. I don’t know why the hell he’s crazy enough to love me back, but I’m just glad that he does. I feel it when he looks at me. I know it when he touches me. I hear it when his heart beats.
Because just like my heart beats for him, he’s always told me that his beats for me.
He breaks off our kiss and his hand finds the side of my face, cupping it like it’s the most precious thing he’s ever held. I lean into his touch, sighing with comfort, never wanting to go another day without feeling this.
“You’re the strongest person I know, Remi. Never forget that.”
I smile, not knowing what to say. He talks to me like no one ever has. The only constant people I’ve had in my life besides him are Liz and Henry. Survival was necessary, so strength was always what was required. With Brody, it’s revered.
“Please stop beating yourself up over LA. Or any other time you had to leave. I get it now and I promise I’m not mad. I understand. We can’t change the past, Rem. All we can do is move forward and I want to move forward together.”
“I want that too.”
He gently flips me over onto my back, the sheets comfortable and warm from where he just was. Slowly, he spreads my legs and enters me, showing me with his body, that we’re in this together.
We spend the rest of the morning in bed. He takes me again and again. There are very few words, and most of them are him continuously professing his love. Promising me the moon the sun and the stars. Over and over again, tears of joy fall from my eyes as his name continuously falls from my lips like a mantra, the secret to happiness.
Absolution Page 18