Absolution

by S. Kirkpatrick

  Although I know the lovely Ed would have a coronary if he knew I was quoting him to defend my actions, I’ve come to a point where I honestly can’t be bothered by it.

  What my uncle did to me, what he let all of those other men do to me… It’s despicable. It’s unforgivable. No amount of jail time or humane lethal injection will ever be enough to make up for it.

  Sometimes vengeance is the best form of justice.

  The way Liz set everything in motion was to ensure that my uncle had enough time to actually come for me. This time, I’m not running. I’m not hiding.

  This time, he’s gonna run to me.

  And he’s gonna pay for what he’s done.

  He’s going to pay with blood.

  He’s gonna pay with his fucking life.

  And just like Max, with her ex-boyfriend, I won’t lose a second of sleep over it.

  When I got the call that it was finally going down, it was a euphoric feeling. One that I honestly don’t know how to put into words. How can someone possibly attempt to explain the joy and elation I will get to feel as I watch the monarchy of evil and corruption that abused me so badly, finally come tumbling down?

  You can’t.

  You bask in it and then prepare for what’s to come.

  As soon as I got off the phone with Liz, I immediately made the girls pack their shit, make a plan, and get the hell out of town. I made everyone, even Brody, promise not to tell me, Liz, or Henry where they were going. Not that Liz and I are likely to break if my uncle and his goons find anything out about them, but I’m not willing to risk it.

  “I knew you’d love them. And I knew they’d love you.” He laughs, rubbing in his victory just like he has for the last several days.

  “Yeah, yeah.” I say, playfully waving him off.

  “I’m proud of you, Rem.” He says, his voice growing serious. He takes my hand in his, bringing it to his lips. “We will get through this together, just like we were always meant to. And once this is over we can finally have the life that we deserve. The life that you deserve.”

  “I love you.”

  “I will never get tired of hearing those words.” He smiles. “I love you, my Little Wolf.”

  Brody keeps my hand in his while we continue to eat our lunch, enjoying the love we have between us, the intensity of which we’ve never been able to relish in before now.

  Our quiet little bubble together is soon broken when my phone begins to vibrate on the table. Liz’s name pops up on my screen, instantly making my brows furrow in response.

  I forced Henry to take the day off today so that he could spend some time with Liz and hopefully she could try and convince him to leave town again. He’s been resistant, to say the least.

  Go figure.

  I have to be at the bar in a little over an hour to start opening up for the day. Liz told me that she would call me once I was there if something came up but that so far everything was quiet on her end. The fact that she’s calling me instead of spending time with her dad has me a little worried.

  Okay, a lot worried.

  It immediately sends this weird feeling to the pit of my stomach. It’s the same unease that I felt the time my uncle’s goons caught up with me outside of Minnesota, breaking three of my ribs, shooting me in the thigh, and trying to cut my throat.

  That was the first time I truly thought I wouldn’t be able to outrun them. The first time since I left the basement of horrors that I accepted that I was going to die.

  Something’s not right.

  Brody must feel my hesitation, must sense my unease. He closes the slight distance between us, picking up my phone that sits on the table on my opposite side, answering it for me when it’s clear that I just… can’t.

  He brings our joined hands up to his lips again, placing a kiss on top of my knuckles, trying to calm my nerves.

  But he doesn’t understand.

  For the first time since Ruger found me covered in my own blood, limp and broken, I’m paralyzed in fear.

  I’m always the girl that’s quick on her feet. The girl that can make an equalizer out of anything. The girl that never backs down. The girl that always fucking fights.

  As Brody brings the phone to his ear and barks out a gruff ‘hello’ I literally can’t fucking move. It’s as if I’m frozen in place. My mind is screaming at me to get my ass up out of this chair and make a run for it, but if I had a gun to my head right now, I wouldn’t be able to move a muscle.

  It’s as if I’m physically stuck.

  “Hello?” I hear Brody ask for a second time. His eyes connect with mine and I can see my worry reflecting back at me. “Hello?” He asks again.

  Something inside of me snaps. I grab the phone and break it in half, running and dumping one half in the running dishwasher. The next half goes in the toilet down the hall.

  Brody’s chasing after me as I run throughout the house, and I’m at a total loss for words. He’s asking questions that I honestly can’t even hear right now. My brain can’t process the sounds coming out of his mouth. I’m on autopilot, running to the bedroom and gearing up for the fight of our lives.

  It’s happening.

  I get my knife tucked inside my boot just as Brody’s hands clamp my shoulders and spin me around to face him. His face is the perfect picture of horror and concern, whereas I can feel mine devoid of color and emotion, a coping mechanism that took over several years ago.

  His breathing is heavy, pupils dilated, and arms shaking. “What the fuck is going on, Remi?”

  I open my mouth to answer, but all I can think of is everything that I need to do and where I need to go. Who I need to check on. Red tape, red tape, red fucking tape!

  He shakes me, snapping me out of it. “Talk to me, Remington!” He screams.

  “Grab your gear. Call the guys that are still in town. It’s time.”

  His eyes go wide, nodding at my words, doing exactly what I’ve asked, no further questions. He lets go of my shoulders, allowing me to turn back around and bury myself in the task of getting everything prepared.

  I hoped we’d have more time!

  I make sure my RP45 is fully loaded before I holster it. I take a few moments, that I don’t fucking have, to load the extra magazines and tuck them in the various pockets of my clothing. I bark out a low curse, pissed that I didn’t have all of this ready and waiting before now. I’ve always had my go back ready, never being able to stay put for too long. But here, I’ve started trying to build a home as best as I could while waiting for the other half of my life to start.

  I’ve grown complacent.

  I should be nervous. I should be shaking. I should be afraid for my life and the lives of everyone around me. Everyone I love. Instead, my body feels calm. Almost too calm.

  The eye of the hurricane.

  No matter whose blood gets shed, no matter who takes their last breath, one thing is for certain.

  This shit ends today.

  There’s an odd sense of liberation in knowing that. A sense of apprehension should be taking over, but instead, all I feel is relief.

  By the time the day ends and a new one begins, it’ll all be over.

  Brody comes in the bedroom handing me an extra gun and a set of brass knuckles as he exchanges heated words with one of the guys on his phone.

  I raise my eyebrow in silent question.

  “I’m covered, these are extra.” He whispers, leaning in and planting a quick kiss on my lips before he disappears out of the room once again.

  I nod my head even though he’s already out of the room. I tuck the second gun in the back waistband of my jeans, and the brass knuckles in my back pocket. I take a minute to throw my hair up while Brody finishes loading up his gear. We grab the extra bags of weapons and ammo, loading them in the saddlebags on his bike.

  “Go to Liz’s house. She’s in trouble.” I tell him as I slide the helmet on.

  He doesn’t question me or
my decisions. He lays his trust in me to handle the situation in the way I see fit. In a fucked up way, it makes me love him even more. He knows I plan on murdering someone today and yet instead of condemning me, he literally chauffers me to do so.

  In seconds, we’re peeling out of the driveway, flying down the road, not even bothering to stop if we don’t have to. Today, stop signs are suggestions, and the bike can zoom through a red light before the drivers of the other vehicles can even reach for the brake pedal.

  Nothing will stand in the way of us getting to Liz’s.

  She may only be a few years older than me, I may just be a WitSec case to her, but to me, she is so much more than that. Liz is my family. The only friend I’ve ever had. A mother. A sister. A tether to my humanity on the numerous occasions that I thought I had lost it. She means more to me than my flesh and blood. If she’s in trouble, which I feel down in my bones that she is, then I will do whatever I can to save her.

  Time seems to stand still as Liz’s house finally comes into view. I swear my heart skips a beat when I see Henry’s beat-up old truck sitting on the curb outside.

  I send a prayer to a god I don’t even fucking believe in, that they’re safe inside. That they’re playing Gin Rummy and drinking a beer, enjoying each other’s company just like they’re supposed to be doing.

  But since I’m the devil’s favorite plaything, I know all too well that’s not what will greet me when I walk inside the door. The door that’s clearly been smashed open based on the way it’s hanging off the hinges.

  I jump off the back of the bike, pulling my gun off my thigh before Brody even has a chance to kill the engine. I quickly remove the helmet, tossing it on the front lawn as I make slow measured steps up to the front door.

  Please let them be alive. Please let them be alive!

  Brody comes up behind me, each of us taking one side of the door frame. We lock eyes, holding each other’s stare.

  “I love you.” He whispers.

  “I love you more.”

  It could be the last time we get a chance to say it.

  We’ve been spending so much time dreaming up the life we could live after all this was said and done, none of us really discussed what would happen if one or both of us didn’t make it out of here. There are so many things swimming throughout my mind, memories flashing behind my eyes, tears that are threatening to fall.

  I didn’t come all this way to get blasted away now, but there’s always a chance. As ready as I’ve been for this fight, I’m scared out of my mind to think that I could walk away from this without the love of my life by my side. Everything I’ve done, every lie I told, every truth I’ve kept buried, it all hinges on today.

  Will it all be worth it in the end?

  Do girls like me get the happily ever after?

  No. We don’t.

  You don’t get brought up into the world like I do, as a trial period to see if you’re strong enough to survive the storm. You’re brought in to be swept up by it, cultivated to drown in it.

  To die in it.

  I won’t make it out of this alive, but I damn sure refuse to let Brody be a casualty in my uncle’s fucking war. A martyr was all I was destined to be. Liz knew that long before I was willing to accept it. Now that the truth is punching me in the gut with enough force to bring the unmistakable taste of bile creeping up my throat, I know all that matters is keeping the people I love alive. I’ll do everything I can to wipe out as many monsters as I can before the breath gets stolen from my lungs with a finality that I’ve run from for too damn long.

  Cats have nine lives. Wolves don’t.

  I take a tentative step inside, slightly terrified about what I might find. I don’t care who might be lurking around these walls, I know that Brody and I will handle it. I just want to make sure that the people I care about are alive.

  I nod my head down the hall to show Brody where I’m headed. He nods in the opposite direction, letting me know that we’ll clear the house together. We move fluidly around each other, almost as if we’ve practiced this together before.

  The house is so quiet, giving it the eerie quality that only exists in the wake of a tragedy. My stomach knots, setting heavily in my body like a lead weight trying to bring me back down to reality. All I can keep thinking is that this can’t be happening. Of all the people that I was worried my uncle and his goons would run into first, Liz was the last on that list.

  I clear two bedrooms and a bathroom, coming to a halt at the last door that’s slightly pushed open.

  Liz’s office.

  I suck in a deep breath, steadying myself for what awaits me on the other side of the door. The anxiety I’m feeling buzzes around me like a physical entity, swarming in and out of my chest, through my ears, and stinging my eyes.

  Pull your shit together, Remi!

  I push the door open with the toe of my boot and damn near drop to my knees when I see blood all over the floor and all over the walls. I move around the many monitors to see Liz lying face down in a pool of blood, clutching her phone in one hand and a photo of her, me, and Henry standing outside of Henry’s bar in the other.

  The glass housing the photo is shattered, a bullet lodged where my face used to be.

  A warning as loud as I’ve ever heard.

  I sink to my knees, holding back that sob that wants to rip its way out of my throat.

  No, no, no, no!

  As if all the blood wasn’t enough, as if the gunshot wounds weren’t enough, her clothes are shredded. Her pants are around her ankles, blood trickling down her legs that I know has nothing to do with the gunshot wounds.

  I know the things they must have done to her, trying to get information out of her.

  Trying to get to me.

  I have to literally swallow down the vomit that’s climbing up my throat as my fingers shake above Liz, scared to touch her. Scared not to. A breath stutters out of my throat as I turn her over, needing to see her face to make this real. There’s a small part of me hanging on to a single thread of denial. Until I see her face, I can pretend it’s not Liz. I can pretend it’s someone else, a stranger. Someone who doesn’t mean so much to me.

  But of course, it’s her.

  Her beautiful face comes into view as her blood stains my hands, my clothes, my goddamn soul…

  “I’m so sorry.” I whisper, hugging her limp form to my chest. “Fuck, I’m so sorry, Lizzy.” I cry, holding her to me, not caring about how much of her blood gets all over me.

  I deserve to drown in this. I deserve to have her physical blood showering me, it’s metaphorically on my hands anyway. She’d be alive with her father right now if it wasn’t for me.

  A gurgling sound scares me, causing me to jump.

  “Lizzy!” I scream, realizing the gurgling sound came from her.

  Holy fuck, she’s alive!

  I hear a door crunch behind me swivel my body as quickly as I can, my gun aimed at the door. I lower my weapon when I see it’s Brody stumbling into the room, a bewildered look on his face as he takes in the scene before him.

  “Call 9-1-1, she’s still alive!” I scream, tears slipping down my cheeks.

  I turn back to Liz as soon as Brody pulls his phone out of his jacket pocket.

  “Shh, it’s okay. I’ve got you.” I tell her, rocking her back and forth in my arms. I hold on to her the way I wished someone would hold me when I was trapped in that basement. With love. With care. With an urgency to save her, protect her.

  She gurgles some more, trying to talk through the death that’s trying so damn hard to claim her right out from under us. “Don’t try and talk. It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

  I hear Brody talking to the dispatcher, giving them Liz’s address, urging them to hurry up because my best friend is dying in my arms.

  “I love you, Lizzy.” I tell her, scared that I might not get the chance.

  I need her to know that she’s more than just my handler. She
needs to understand how grateful I am, how much she means to me. How much it will destroy me if I lose her.

  The hand holding the picture frame jerks in my direction, and I can tell she’s holding on to it with all the strength she has left in her body. I take the photo from her and hold it up so she can see it. It clearly meant enough to her that she held onto it, literally for dear life.

  She gurgles some more, her body twitching with the strength she’s trying to put into saying something, all the while her waning strength shows as her eyes roll into the back of her head, closing all together when she tries to fight against it.

  Brody comes over and takes Liz in his arms, pressing down on the wound in her chest. I mentally kick myself for not doing that before now. I’m normally alone, the only one that gets hurt. My brain wasn’t ready for seeing Liz like this. I honestly still don’t think it is.

  I trace my fingers on Liz’s cheeks, trying to keep her calm so she’ll quit trying to speak when it clearly causes her so much pain.

  “D-d-d.” She says, the picture frame jolting with her stuttered breaths.

  And that’s when I remember. Liz wasn’t alone in this house.

  “Did they take Henry? Did they take your dad?” I ask, panic so loud in my voice that Brody’s face jerks up to mine.

  Liz closes her eyes, trying to nod.

  I’m on my feet before I even realize it. Making my way to the door.

  “Stay with her until the ambulance shows up. Do not let her fucking die on me, Brody!” I scream

  “Where are you going?” He asks, trying his best to control the bleeding in Liz’s chest.

  “To finish what I started.”

  I run out of the room before he can argue. I snag a set of Liz’s keys off the hook by her door and take off like a bat out of hell.

  These monsters have taken so much from me, from Brody. But I won’t let them take anything from Liz. I won’t let them take her life. I won’t let them take her dad!