Savagery & Skills: Books 1-4

by Ciara Graves

  “Seneca, don’t do this.”

  “Do what?” She wiped at her mouth with her hand, glaring from me to Owen. “I’m going back to the cottage to sleep. Just leave me alone.”

  “You can’t keep doing this,” I argued.

  “Yeah? And what am I supposed to do? Let Rudarius come and fight him with unstable magic? Watch him kill everyone here, then move on to the next town and the next until there’s nothing left but a never-ending night and death all around?” She wiped her face again as more blood trickled from her nose. “This is what I was born to do apparently, so back off and let me handle it.”

  “The rings. Just take them off for a night. One night. That’s all I’m asking.”

  She lifted her hand, and I waited, praying she would just do it and let me hold onto them. But her clear green eyes flickered black, and she dropped her hand.

  “Not happening.” She stormed out of the tent.

  Owen made to go after her, but I snatched his arm, holding him back.

  “She shouldn’t be left alone.”

  “I’ll send someone to the cottage, but if you go after her now, you’ll make it worse.”

  He growled and tore himself away from me. “You’re just going to stand there and do nothing while that power kills her from the inside out?”

  “No, I’m going to bide my time. Let me handle this. See to the army.”

  “I don’t take orders from you, bloodsucker.”

  Right, so we were back to name calling. “Then do what you want but stay away from the cottage. If I hear you’re bothering her, you and I will get back to that fight we started so many weeks ago.”

  Owen’s lip twitched, and he prowled away, probably cursing me as he went.

  I’d give Seneca some time to hopefully cool down and come up with a way to get those damned rings off her hand. I didn’t want to talk to Macron, but I was quickly running out of options. We still needed a way to track Rudarius’s movements and figure out how we were going to take our force into battle which was nearly impossible to do when we had no idea where said battle would take place. I’d find Shane, tell him to put a set of eyes near the cottage to keep an eye on Seneca.

  Then I’d track down the coven leaders and figure out what our next move should be. They might be looking to me to lead, but right now, I needed someone else to take control.

  Hearing those voices come from Seneca left a strange, sick sensation wallowing in my gut.

  We were running out of time to save her.

  Chapter 6

  Seneca

  I sat on the counter in the kitchen, drinking my beer and listening to shitty idea after shitty idea.

  Draven and I hadn’t spoken since yesterday, and that was fine by me. He’d stayed at the tent, too, which was even better. Saved me from getting a lecture at sundown when I awoke to find my nose bloody again.

  And here we were, in my kitchen, back to the same discussion we’d been having for days, when I wanted to be alone.

  Draven was the reason they were crowded in here. Decided to bring the meeting to me. I knew what he was doing, keeping me away from the rest of the army. Fine, didn’t bother me any. Saved me from trudging down there.

  We still had no way to track Rudarius’s movements. They knew it. I knew it. Yet we wasted time trying to figure out a way to do just that. When I’d collapsed the mental tunnel between us, we lost any possible way to figure out where he would attack first. The cost to do so didn’t seem worth it now.

  I knew what we could do, but the second that idea left my mouth, Draven would lose his shit. He was on edge enough as it was. His body was tense, as if he was ready to spring into action at any second.

  And? You know what you need to do, so do it. We don’t have time for this.

  My mug paused halfway to my mouth. I tilted my head. I couldn’t.

  Yes, you can, you just won’t. As you’ve been told, there’s no more room for emotions. We’ve waited too long to be free. No one else is going to control us. No one else is going to threaten our existence. You are the only way we can be free, Seneca. Don’t lose focus now. Don’t lose your nerve, not when you’ve come so far.

  I hissed quietly.

  Marlie stopped talking. “Seneca? You alright?”

  “Hmm?”

  Draven crossed his arms and leveled me with a stern glare from across the room.

  “Yeah, sure. I’m great. Just wondering why we’re still having this conversation.”

  “Because we need to be prepared.”

  “Yeah about that. You know how massive this world is, right? Who’s to say he’s even going to start in North America. He could end up in Europe, for all we know.”

  “He won’t.”

  I scoffed at Draven’s declaration. “You can’t know that.”

  “Neither can you. It’s a gut feeling. He won’t go anywhere else. He’ll strike close to home.”

  “Or,” I said slowly, as the voice inside my head gave me another hard nudge, “you could let me reach out to him again and draw him to us. Make him come where we want him to so we can know for certain. Let me finish what was started.”

  Draven’s growl was a low rumble that had me rolling my eyes. “No.”

  “Why the hell not?” I shouted as I hopped off the counter. “You’re just saying no because it’s me, but it’s our best shot, and you know it. You all do.” I stomped to him and poked him in the chest. “I can handle myself. He won’t get to me.”

  “It’s not him getting to you that I’m worried about anymore.” His gaze skimmed the rings on my hand.

  “This again? Shit, Draven. We’re going to be in a battle any second now, and you’re freaking out over nothing.” I threw my arms up and marched out of the kitchen. “Whatever, you all figure it out then, and let me know when you decide to stop being idiots.”

  I considered going into town but didn’t want to run into anyone I knew, so I exited through the front door and walked all the way around toward the gardens. I moved to the other side of the oak tree so no one could see me and climbed up to the lowest branch. Clouds covered the moon tonight and the stars, but the fires from the ever-expanding encampment were enough to light up the night from here to the tree line.

  With my back to the trunk, I swung my left leg and picked at the bark absently.

  You’re wasting time.

  “How about you shut up for five minutes?”

  You know he’s going to make his attack soon. We need him to finish this. With him gone, we’ll have our chance.

  “Chance for what, huh? Did you ever think that maybe I don’t want all these voices inside my head?”

  Rudarius has much power. If you kill him, we can use it, and we can be free.

  I glanced at my rings, always swirling with shadows, and reached to take them off. My left hand shook and finally fell away. My head fell back. “Damn it.”

  You know we’re right. You are one of us, Seneca. You will follow our plans.

  I was damned tired of carrying around the essence of my entire extinct race. But if killing Rudarius would bring an end to this insanity then that’s what needed to happen. I had to bring him to me so I could finish this for good.

  Then what are you waiting for? Do it.

  I shut my eyes and reached for the connection I used to have with Rudarius. I knew him as well as he knew me now. Calling to him, forcing his hand would be easy enough if I pushed the right buttons. But as soon as the vampire’s face appeared, Draven’s furious hiss flooded my mind, and I winced, my eyes shooting open.

  “I won’t do this to him,” I whispered. “I can’t betray him.”

  Yesterday, I’d nearly hurt Draven when he tried to stop me, or them, from doing exactly what the voices wanted me to do now. I’d barely been able to hold back the flood of power then. If I gave in now, I had no way of knowing if I’d make it back to myself. Or if I’d get swept up in the current and disappear in this insanity.

  The voices snarled. I clamped my hands to my
ears, as if that would tune them out. I hissed and curled in on myself, my legs gripping the tree branch to stop from crashing to the ground. There was too much noise, too much confusion. The voices were using me, just as Rudarius used me. As everyone did. The anger that filled my veins for the last few days hit its breaking point, but it wasn’t mine, not all of it. I slipped from the tree and fell to my knees, clutching at my head.

  Do it, Seneca. Do it, and we can all be free.

  I wanted to believe them, but I knew that tone far too well. They wouldn’t stop once Rudarius was dead. And what if they didn’t leave my body? What if I was stuck with them forever? I couldn’t do this. I’d find another way to kill Rudarius if I had to, but I couldn’t stand them inside my head anymore. Draven had been right. I should’ve let him take the rings from me days ago. If I could get the rings off, maybe the voices would disappear. But even as I tried to grab them again, another force took control of my left hand and slammed it into the ground.

  You will obey us if you want to live.

  A scream was on my lips when a hand landed on my shoulder. The voices inside my head reared their ugly heads, and suddenly I couldn’t remember what I was doing out here. Why did my head hurt?

  “Seneca?” Draven knelt in front of me, lifting my chin so he could look into my eyes. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing just needed some fresh air.”

  “You’re on the ground.”

  “I said nothing’s wrong. I’d like to go inside now.”

  I went to walk around him, but his grip on my upper arm was like steel. “Talk to me. Don’t pull away from me.”

  “Maybe it’s for the best.”

  His eyes narrowed. “You don’t mean that.”

  “You sure? We both know this fight is going to be the death of one of us. Let’s face it, probably won’t be me,” I added. The second the words left my mouth a sharp pain stabbed my chest.

  Draven released my arm and took a step back.

  “That—uh, I’m not sure where that came from.”

  What the hell was wrong with me? The voices in my head cackled, and I flinched.

  Draven watched me closely then looked at my right hand. “Have you taken them off at all since you returned?”

  “Why would I? Rudarius could attack at any moment. I have to be ready.” Excuses, so many excuses. I wanted them off. Why wasn’t I just saying that?

  “I think you need to take them off. Now.”

  I tucked my right hand out of sight behind my back. “No. I’m going inside to get some sleep. You going to stay out here or join me?”

  He said nothing, didn’t even move.

  I shrugged. “Fine, guess you can sleep on the couch tonight. Or in that damned tent of yours.”

  Each step I took away from Draven made it feel as if something was being torn to shreds inside me. I wanted to stay and talk to him. I wanted to enjoy the rest of the night with him, out here beneath the autumn sky. We had no way to know how much time we had left. Yet I walked toward the cottage, not slowing down. I was almost at the door when Draven grabbed my right hand. His fingers fumbled for the rings as I punched him in the face with my left hand. He held on fast as Owen and the rest of the crowd in the kitchen charged outside.

  “Get off me,” I snarled.

  Draven twisted my right arm.

  “What are you doing?” Owen demanded as I hissed and flailed.

  “Hold her, I have to get these off,” Draven ordered.

  I expected Owen to step in and help, but I found myself on the ground with him holding down my legs.

  Shane grabbed hold of my left hand.

  I screamed at them.

  Draven worked the rings off, one right after the other, even as the shadows reached out, desperate to keep them on. The voices in my head, shouting in rage at his actions fell silent. Clarity unlike any I’d had in days rushed through me.

  I stilled, and they released me.

  Draven fell back, my rings clutched in his fist.

  “Seneca? Look at me.”

  I blinked but couldn’t bring myself to look him in the eye. “I’m sorry, I don’t… I just… I think I need to be alone for a minute. And keep those out of my sight,” I added, voice shaky. I nodded to the rings. “I don’t want anything to do with them.”

  I scrambled to get up.

  Draven called for me, but I sprinted into my bedroom and slammed the door shut. Those rings were meant to help me reach my full potential as a dark fae. Not to let the spirits of the Sa’ren weasel their way into my damned mind. What had I been doing the past few days? Shit, what had I been about to do? Call Rudarius right to our doorstep? That was the worst idea I could’ve ever had.

  I bashed my fist into the wall, cursing when I pulled it back to find my knuckles bloody and cut up. I needed the rings to defeat Rudarius, but I wouldn’t wear them a minute longer than I had to. I’d just have to keep myself locked away so I didn’t hurt anyone. Stay as calm as possible.

  It was all I could hope for.

  I walked into my closet and shut the door, sitting as far as in the corner I could. I wrapped my arms around my knees, prepared to stay in here for days. Weeks if need be. I wouldn’t leave my room, wouldn’t leave the closet if I could help it.

  The door opened to the bedroom then closed just as quickly.

  “Go away,” I yelled.

  “Are you in the closet?” Draven asked, a hint of amusement in his tone.

  “Don’t judge me. Just go away, alright? And you better not have those damned things with you.” The closet door opened, and I held out my hands to ward him off. “You suck at listening, you know that? Just go away.”

  He sat in the doorway. “You should know by now. I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Why?”

  “Why what?”

  “Why are you so good to me, huh? We both know I’m the bad guy, here. Look what I almost did. What I wanted to do. What I did to you and Owen yesterday.” I ran my hands through my hair, the uneasiness seated deep within me. Like something was wrong within my soul, but I couldn’t even begin to describe it.

  Draven reached for me, but I flinched away. He grunted and scooted even closer, took me in his arms, and pulled me onto his lap. He held me, just held me.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “For what? You’ve done nothing wrong.”

  “Not yet.”

  “You aren’t going to. You just have to open up to me. Talk to me when it’s getting to be too much.” He kissed the top of my head. “I’m here for you. You know that.”

  “I don’t know why.”

  “You know, you thinking you don’t deserve a chance to be happy is starting to get old,” he muttered. “We’re together forever, Seneca. I’m not leaving you for anything, so you better get used to it. You want to shove me away? Fine, but I’ll come right back. I’ll track you down wherever you go,” he said firmly, holding my shoulders as he spoke. “You and I belong together, and we’ll get through whatever shit life throws at us together. Got it?”

  I sniffed hard then fell against his chest. Every part of me was weak, but at least my nose wasn’t bleeding, and I wasn’t hacking up blood. “The magic,” I whispered, “it’s changing me somehow. The rings… I don’t know if it’s Rudarius or the spirit of the Sa’ren, but they’re not right.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “It’s like there are competing forces inside me. Like I’m being torn in two. Or three. Or four. And the voices are getting worse.”

  He stiffened. “You have to tune them out somehow. Ignore them.”

  “I’ve been trying, but it’s hard. They’re too strong,” I admitted. “I should’ve told you, but you have so much else to worry about. I can’t lay this on you, too. Whatever’s wrong with me, I can handle it. I will handle it.”

  “Seneca.” He hugged me even tighter, and I clung to him, the only person who could stop my spiral into madness. Reality was changing too fast for me to keep up with. All I wanted was to
disappear.

  “Come with me,” he urged and stood, pulling me with him.

  “Where are we going? What if it’s not safe?”

  “The rings are hidden away, and the cottage and gardens have been vacated. You’re not going to hurt anyone. It’s just you and me.” He held my hand then leaned in and kissed me. “Trust me.”

  I followed him out of the bedroom and through a cottage that was indeed empty. He grabbed the heavy plaid blanket off the couch and then we were in the gardens. The clouds parted and revealed the moon and a few stars peeking through the inky black sky. We walked to the bench, and he pulled me into his lap, wrapped the blanket around me and hugged me to his strong chest.

  “So, vacation,” he said after a couple of minutes. “You really think the beach is the best place?”

  I waited for a few beats, wondering what he was up to. “Why not?” I glanced toward the encampment. “Draven, shouldn’t we be talking about—”

  He cut me off with a press of his lips to mine.

  “If you’re about to say anything involving the war or Rudarius, you can just forget it.”

  “But we need to—”

  He kissed me again, fiercely, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, never wanting this night to stop. “What were you going to ask me?”

  I screwed my mouth to the side then gave in. “Yes, I want to go to a beach.”

  “Just sand and saltwater. And fish.”

  I laughed. “And? I’ve never seen the ocean.”

  “What if I took you somewhere else?”

  “Like where?”

  He smiled softly as he ran his fingers through my hair, which was blowing lightly in the night wind. “Keeping it a surprise. But there are some very interesting beaches across the ocean. What do you say, you up for an adventure?”

  I started to say yes, but the word became lodged in my throat. I choked on it and tears burned in my eyes, imagining the vision of Draven killing me all over again.

  “Draven,” I whispered, but he held my chin in his fingers, those blue eyes boring into mine.

  “No, we’re not accepting that future, remember? It’s not going to happen.”

  “But if it does, I want you to be happy, okay? You have to promise me.”