Sunshine and Second Chances

by Kim Nash

  Fiona felt so much better once she’d spoken to Brenda. She felt overwhelming gratitude towards this kind-hearted woman, who she’d only known for a short time, who was investing her precious time in someone else’s mother.

  Samantha headed straight to the kitchen when her phoned pinged. She saw that she’d got a text from Peter.

  Mum, please transfer some money into my bank account. Funds running low.

  Samantha read the text three times. This was the first time she’d heard from him in two weeks, even though she’d sent regular texts to him. And now, this. No, ‘Hi, Mum, how are you?’ No kiss at the end. And no ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. This just wasn’t right. She tutted loudly as Debs came into the kitchen and opened the fridge door.

  ‘You OK, Sam? Fancy a snack?’

  ‘I’m fine, thanks.’ Her voice wobbled.

  Debs turned to her, and the tear that rolled down Samantha’s cheek made it clear she wasn’t fine.

  ‘Come on, honey, come and sit down. What’s going on, Sam? You can tell me.’

  Liv and Fiona entered the lounge at that point too.

  ‘Sam, what’s happened?’ Liv frowned, sitting the other side of her, rubbing her arm.

  ‘Oh I’m just being a silly old thing,’ Samantha replied, wiping the tears from her cheeks and grabbing a tissue to blow her nose.

  ‘Come on, a problem shared and all that. Perhaps we can help,’ Liv suggested.

  ‘It’s just Peter. He doesn’t speak or call for weeks on end, even though I text him all the time asking him how he is and what he’s up to. I just got a text from him asking for money.’ She held her phone up and showed them the message.

  ‘When was the last time you actually spoke to him?’ Liv asked.

  ‘It was about two weeks ago and he said that he’d done a Tesco online shop and needed my bank details to pay for it.’

  ‘Cheeky little bugger!’ Debs chuntered under her breath, but it came out a lot louder than she intended.

  ‘I asked him what he’d spent his allowance on. I give him four hundred pounds a month, and that’s just pocket money. All his bills are paid separately. He said that he gets through that in no time going out drinking and eating with his mates. I suggested that he gets himself a part-time job, maybe in a bar or in a local shop or something, and he told me to get lost. He said that he shouldn’t have to do that when his dad’s life insurance is sitting in the bank. He doesn’t realise that most of that went towards paying off the huge debts his father left behind, so that we could afford to continue to live in our family home.’

  She took a deep breath. It was the first time she’d admitted to anyone what had really happened around the time that her husband died. That while struggling to cope with her own grief as well as that of her child, she had bailiffs knocking on the door and loan sharks who had scared the living daylights out of her demanding payment or threatening to repossess items from the house. She felt her chest tightening as those memories rose to the surface.

  ‘Oh, Sam, you poor thing. Why didn’t you tell us? Perhaps we could have helped.’ Liv put her hand on Samantha’s back.

  ‘I was ashamed of Robert, Liv, and to be honest I was ashamed of myself for not seeing what was in front of my face. I thought he was out working hard for his family, when all the time he was just getting more and more into debt. It all started to make sense. He used to run to get the mail from the postman before I could see it, and at first I thought it was a game between us, but then I realised that it was because he didn’t want me to see what a mess everything had become – the bills that hadn’t been paid because he’d taken the bill money and gambled it all away. Once I found out, I was trying hard to keep it a secret from not only Peter, who was just six and thought his dad was a superhero, but also from Robert’s family too as I didn’t want them to think badly of their darling boy when they were in the early stages of mourning. They thought the sun shone out of his backside. How could I be the one to shatter those illusions?’

  ‘But what a huge thing to go through on your own when you were grieving too. I wish we’d have known and been able to do something.’

  ‘Thanks, Liv. I know you would have tried to help but you all lived miles away from us and Robert’s mum was great, minding Peter after school while I was working. I was shattered because I’d taken on ironing to do in the evenings once he’d gone to bed, to earn some extra cash to get those debts paid off. And after a few years I did it. But Peter doesn’t know any of it. He still thinks his dad was a perfect angel.’

  ‘I get that, but perhaps it’s time to tell him the truth. He’s an adult now and needs to start behaving like one,’ said Fiona.

  ‘I know you’re right, but how can I tell him when I never see him? The only time he messages me, or speaks to me, is when he wants money. I can’t tell him this type of stuff over text, now can I?’

  ‘No, you can’t do that, darling. But I do think that for your own sanity you need to maybe tell him you are going to visit, or tell him that you want him to come home because there’s some stuff that you need to talk through. You can’t carry this burden on your shoulders any more. You really can’t,’ replied Fiona.

  ‘That’s a good idea. I haven’t been able to think straight about it. Just sharing it with you guys feels like a weight has been lifted. I felt so stupid for not knowing what was going on under my very nose. I loved him so much and still can’t believe even after all that time, that he lied to me in this way. I’m mortified to admit it to you all now.’

  ‘You have absolutely no need to feel that way with us, you really don’t. We are your true friends and we don’t judge each other.’

  ‘I don’t even know how to reply to his text. What do I say?’

  ‘Why don’t you do nothing right now?’ said Olivia. ‘I’ve just discovered tons of messages from my family on my phone and I’ve deleted them all and switched my phone off! I feel quite liberated, to be honest, knowing that they can’t reach me.’

  Samantha reached across to her phone and turned it off. ‘What a good idea. I’ve become a slave to my son. He’s not caring about me when he doesn’t return my calls and messages. Perhaps I’ll give him some of his own medicine. Thank you, girls. I wouldn’t have had the strength to do that without you having my back. You really have made a difference already and I love you all for it.’

  ‘Come on, let’s go make the most of this gorgeous weather and lie in the sun for a bit. I have a lot of body that needs to go brown.’ Debs stretched her arms above her head and sauntered outside.

  After a lot of repositioning of the sunbeds to capture the most sun, Liv whipped off her sarong and Debs once again admired her fabulous figure.

  ‘You coming in the pool, Debs?’

  ‘Maybe later.’

  Debs once more thought that there was no way she’d be getting her body out in front of her friends, even though she was happy in their company. She lay on her sunbed still wearing her sundress, but pulled it up above her knees. That was quite enough flesh for now. If she said she’d do it later, she could just keep putting it off anytime someone asked her, or divert them away from the question. She was pretty confident that they’d never notice.

  Fiona and Samantha joined Liv in the pool. There was a part of Debs that wished she could go and join them, but she couldn’t pluck up the courage to walk across the terrace in her costume. She didn’t have the confidence. She’d put on so much weight since Dave had left her, and she hated herself for it. She knew that something had to give and wished that she could do something about her size, but couldn’t seem to even make a start.

  Fourteen

  ‘Perhaps you need a bloke in your life, Sam. Maybe that’s what you need.’ Fiona thought she had the answer.

  ‘Hmmm, really? You think so?’ Liv murmured doubtfully. ‘Actually, you can have mine. One careful lady owner from new.’ They all laughed loudly.

  ‘Oh God, the thought though! I really don’t think I can be bothered. And what if I m
eet someone and really like him and he turns out to be a complete arse? I’ve heard so many horror stories of people who meet blokes online who turn out to be married or a total tosser. A friend of mine, Grace, had some horrific experiences when she tried internet dating. I really don’t think I could put myself through all that. Although then she met her Vinnie when he knocked on her door one day to do some work at her house, and they’re all loved up and married now. But then it does work for some people. There was a lady on the TV the other day who’d met her second husband online and they were very happy together. Oh, I don’t know.’

  ‘You need a dog not a man.’ They all laughed again at Liv’s statement. ‘Honestly, I get more affection from Hector than the rest of my family put together. And he’s way less needy. And if you get a dog, it gets you out of the house and back to nature.’

  ‘That’s a good point. I do need to get out more. One of the things I wanted to ask for your help with while I’m here is how I can start to make new friends. It’s hard, and I know I have you guys, but I’m a good few miles from the nearest one of you and I need to make more friends locally. I know I do a bit of admin work from home from time to time, and that has its advantages, but with never going anywhere but the local Tesco, I don’t get the chance to meet anyone.’

  ‘Why don’t we do some brainstorming when we get out of the water and come up with some new ways to meet people?’ Liv suggested. ‘Some of our ideas might be crap, but we might come up with a gem between us.’

  ‘Now that sounds like a plan!’ agreed Samantha. ‘I’m going to get out, dry off and fetch a notepad and we can write some ideas down. Since I’ve been going through this bloody menopause my head is like a sieve. If things aren’t written down, I’ll never remember them.’

  Debs joined in the conversation. ‘Oh, don’t talk to me about the menopause. When I wake up in the morning my hair is wringing wet, and I’m showering twice a day. Honestly, between the hot flushes and the night sweats, and the paranoia and the anxiety, I feel like a different person these last few years. It’s no wonder Dave left me. Things that never used to bother me really play on my mind now.’

  ‘Perhaps actually the reason Dave left you is because he doesn’t know a good thing when he has one and also because PFP waved her bloody tits and shook her arse in front of his face once too often,’ Liv retorted hoping that she was able to reassure Debs that the split wasn’t her fault.

  ‘It’s good to know that other people are going through the same thing though, isn’t it, girls?’ Samantha said.

  ‘Speak for yourselves. I might be fifty and single,’ said Fiona, ‘but I’ve been on the pill for the last ten years, which means that I don’t have periods and it delays the menopause so I’m sticking with that for the time being. The nurse has said that it’s fine to do that for the moment, and I’m not complaining. Especially when I hear you lot moaning about your symptoms.’

  ‘I don’t blame you, hon.’ Debs rolled her eyes.

  The sound of water trickling made them all turn around with a start. There, on the far side of the garden, was a sight that they couldn’t help but gawp at. A man, in a pair of cut-off denim shorts, his naked bronzed chest glistening with sweat, was watering the garden with a hosepipe he had grasped in his left hand. He ran his other hand through his hair and then stroked his short but perfectly groomed beard.

  Debs gulped. ‘Oh! My! God! Who? Is? That? He! Is! Gorgeous! Shit! I hope he wasn’t listening to our conversation about the menopause. Although I’m a whole different type of damp now!’

  They roared with laughter and he turned towards the noise. As he neared the terrace to water the plants dotted around the edge, he introduced himself.

  ‘Sorry to disturb your afternoon, ladies, but I am Eduardo. I believe you met my brother Josep last night. He cook for you. I am the gardener and water the garden and flowers.’

  As he walked past Debs he winked at her and her stomach turned a somersault. She didn’t think that she’d ever seen a man that beautiful in her life. She muttered ‘Phwoar!’ and thought it was under her breath, but giggles from Liv made her cringe when she realised that she’d said it out loud.

  ‘Ooh you’re in there, Debs,’ Liv said.

  ‘In my dreams. Why would a man who looked like that ever look at someone like me?’

  ‘Oh Debs, please do stop putting yourself down. You’ve always been the one out of all of us who had men flocking to you. You are so very pretty but you can’t see it. What do you see when you look in the mirror? I’m pretty sure you’re looking at something different to what we see.’

  ‘Ha. I can’t remember the last time I looked in a mirror.’ She laughed it off.

  ‘Seriously?’ Liv asked.

  ‘Yes. I hate what stares back at me, so I don’t look. Why would I?’

  ‘But, Debs, you always look so gorgeous. Your hair is beautiful – so glossy and thick – I’d kill for hair like that. You have an hourglass figure that I’ve always wished I had, rather than this stick-thin straight-up-and-down body. And you have the longest legs of any of us.’

  ‘My legs are probably the only thing I do like, to be honest.’ She laughed. ‘But I’d swap everything else in a heartbeat.’ She looked down at her hands and twiddled a tissue she’d been holding.

  ‘Well, Eduardo was definitely liking what he saw. The rest of us didn’t get a look-in. You should get in there.’

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous!’

  ‘Seriously, babe, he couldn’t take his eyes off you.’

  ‘Well, it’s a nice thought that someone like him could fancy a fat old bird like me. I’m going to have a snooze now and dream about him. What a good-looking family! Wonder if there’s any more of them.’

  ‘Ooh yes, there might be more,’ said Liv. ‘How fabulous but I’d rather a nice dog instead. However, an afternoon snooze in the sun sounds perfect. I’m absolutely shattered, even though we’ve done bugger all since we’ve been here but eat and drink. I think it’s when you stop; life is so busy at home and simply relaxing feels exhausting. It clearly does you good. Enjoy your snooze. Hope you’ve all put your suntan lotion on. Laters.’

  Liv pulled her sun hat over her face and put in her headphones. She was listening to a meditation app, which she was loving, because when she was at home, every time she put in her headphones someone tapped her on the shoulder to ask her something trivial, and would nearly give her a heart attack. She was enjoying just being herself on this holiday. Not someone’s mum, not someone’s wife, but just her. And the only person in her family she was missing right now was Hector.

  ‘Cooee!’ They all woke with a start around an hour later.

  ‘Mikey, how are you?’ Liv sat up and shielded her eyes from the glare of the bright sunlight to chat to him.

  ‘I’m good, ladies, how the devil are you? Enjoying the sunshine, I see. How are you finding the villa?’

  ‘We are loving it here. Couldn’t have had a better place.’ Fiona drawled and slowly raised her arm in a half-hearted wave. ‘Soooo relaxing.’

  ‘I’m so glad to hear that. I’m off to pick up my parents from the airport, so I thought I’d pop in on the way. They’ll be staying next door and I’ve just been to the shops to get them some bits so they don’t have to go to the supermarket for a day or two.’

  ‘That’s kind of you. How long are they out here for?’ Liv enquired.

  ‘Well, they’re booked in for a week. But I wondered whether I could ask you a favour while they’re here. If you see us around at all, could I ask you to call me Mike, or Michael?’

  Liv sat up and frowned. ‘Can I ask you why?’

  ‘OK, so here’s the thing. I think I told you that I live with Bernardo, who owns the villa property company.’ Liv nodded. ‘He’s not just my boss, but my erm, well, partner too. My life partner. Mum and Dad don’t know this and think that I’m straight. I’ve never managed to pluck up the courage to tell them. I honestly don’t think they’d react well if they knew, so it’s just
easier to pretend that we’re housemates. I know it probably sounds a bit mad to you, but that’s how it has to be. Bernardo isn’t very happy about it either, but I know he’ll come round.’

  ‘But what a shame you can’t be honest with them. Are you sure they wouldn’t handle it better than you think?’ Liv asked. ‘If it was one of my boys I wouldn’t care less what his sexuality is as long as he’s happy.’

  ‘I really don’t think they would. Dad’s very old school and Mum goes along with everything he says. And they’ve been bugging me for years to give them grandchildren. I’ve never wanted to tell them that it’s not going to happen.’

  ‘Oh, Mikey, perhaps they’d surprise you though,’ she said hopefully.

  ‘I just can’t. It’s only for a few days so it would be great if you could just do the Mike thing, rather than Mikey. Mikey sounds a bit, well, gay! Anyway, I knew I’d be able to trust you lovely ladies. I need to pop off to the airport now. We might not even see you while they’re here but just in case – don’t forget.’

  ‘We won’t, Mikey!’ they chorused.

  He gave a little wave as he got into his bright red convertible VW Golf, but he looked nervous.

  ‘Shall we go out for dinner this evening? Or do you want to stay here again? There’s loads of food in the fridge we can put out, or we could head off and find a nice restaurant. Does anyone have a preference?’ Debs asked.

  ‘How about we eat here tonight? We’ve already been into Vilamoura today. Then we could find somewhere at the marina tomorrow night,’ Liv suggested.

  ‘Perfect for me,’ Fiona said. ‘I can stay in my cossie till later, then have a quick shower and put some comfies on. I’m getting old, I know, but I do like a nice pair of comfies.’

  ‘Me too!’ Samantha said. ‘The good thing about living on your own is that no one gives a shit what you look like. I have more clothes to stay in than I do to go out in. There’s nothing nicer than a new pair of pyjamas.’