Elfshot

by M. H. Bonham

  Li’alla bit her lip and glanced at me. “Two for us both.”

  “No, sorry.” He turned away.

  “Three.” She closed her eyes.

  “Do you have any gold?” Firvas turned back to her.

  She quavered. “Just an ounce.”

  “That will do.” He grinned.

  Li’alla looked crestfallen and lowered her eyes. I almost said something, but then she gripped my hand and squeezed it. She pulled three small loaves of bread from the pack and handed him a small golden nugget.

  Firvas looked at the nugget and seemed to weigh it in his hand. He nodded. He stuffed the loaves and the gold in a bag beneath his cloak. “Take my hands, both of you.”

  I glanced at Li’alla. She nodded and put her hood up. I did likewise. I put out my hand and Firvas grasped it firmly. He was a lot stronger than he looked. He took Li’alla’s hand and said something in Elvish.

  The world spun away.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Being transported by someone else is a lot like getting your insides turned out and then reassembled, only done poorly. You’re living and you look normal, but something doesn’t feel right afterwards, no matter how you try to convince yourself otherwise. Each time when someone else transported me, I pretty much ended on the ground unconscious. This time, I managed to stay conscious, only to ralf my guts out when I got there. The Drow rats scurried over and cleaned it up faster than a floor-washing Roomba. Not Drow rats, I thought. Roomba rats. The name fit.

  Sometime after we transported over, I had let go of Firvas’s hand, presumably to hurl my guts out. I still felt woozy, but I knew I’d better pull it together or risk looking worse than I already appeared. Standing back up, I caught a glint from Li’alla’s eyes. I’d like to think it was sympathy, but knowing my luck, she was probably glaring at me and silently wishing I would just man up. I adjusted my hood to make sure it was in its proper place and nodded once.

  We stood there for a few moments without moving. I used that time to look around the chamber we materialized into. Like us, everyone wore their hoods up, even though guessing by the wall’s glow, we were lower than most of the levels in the complex and next to a magma chamber. Despite this, the temperature seemed pleasant. Even cool. I stretched out my magic senses and immediately sensed the surge of power throughout the room. It was mindboggling just how much magic, both in the chamber and in the wares the Elves carried. I saw that their auras were green, but many had flecks of other colors and sparkles that indicated they used magic extensively. We’d have to watch ourselves here.

  Li’alla nodded to me. “Let’s go and see what they have.” She glanced back at Firvas, who nodded.

  “He’s our ride back. Was it a good idea to give him payment now?” I whispered to her.

  She shrugged. “I’ve known Firvas for years. He’ll wait for us.”

  I nodded, but glanced back at the Elf waiting off to the side. “I’m sorry this cost you so much.”

  “What…? Oh, the act.” Now I caught a glimpse of amusement beneath the hood. “Just part of the game. I expected more.”

  I sighed with relief. “I thought you were serious.”

  She let me glimpse her sly smile. “Let’s find what we need.”

  We walked past one vendor with magic items, but Li’alla shook her head. I could see some of the items were high quality, but most were cheap. I felt the Dark Elf’s eyes on me as we passed by. Li’alla ignored him and led me straight to the next booth. I looked at the goods. Again, I felt eyes on me as we considered the wares. I had never done a full summoning before, but I did know how to create a runic protection circle. The idea of using a summoning circle was contain whatever you summoned until you could bind it to your will. I wasn’t too worried about Tuzren coming unglued and murdering us, but summonings occasionally had nasty effects of calling in more than what you bargained for. Since it was just Tuzren—and since I knew his true name—I doubted there would be any real issue. But you never really knew what you were going to call in if you casted a wide enough net.

  “I’m going to get the explosives. You get the magic items you need for the summoning.” Li’alla handed me a pouch the size of a golf ball filled with gold nuggets. “Spend no more than this,” she hissed. “Get what you need for a ritual—and haggle with them. Don’t spend any more than you have to.”

  I nodded and wondered how much she knew about explosives. She hadn’t struck me as a Black Ops kind of gal—she had, after all, been baking bread for her sons earlier. She moved off toward the other vendors in the room, leaving me to look at the current vendor’s wares.

  I regarded the vendor’s wares. He had an impressive supply of chalk in different colors, runestones, semi-precious stones, crystals, knives, wands, staffs, small skulls—no doubt from Roomba rats,—and various medallions and talismans. To my surprise, very little of it was actual junk.

  I chose summoning chalk, candles, crystals, and a runic knife with bone furnishings. I sensed the inherent magic in the runic blade and knew it would work for what we were doing. The Elf behind the hooded cloak nodded at my choice. “A connoisseur, I see. Seldom do we get wizards on our world.”

  I stared at the Elf in shock. I then switched to my magical gaze to look at his aura. That’s when I realized my mistake. Stupid, stupid, stupid. My royal blue aura with flashes of golden magic was like a beacon in a sea of green auras. That’s why everyone was staring at me. It was obvious I wasn’t Elven.

  Fuuuck.

  I glanced over at Li’alla. She was still bargaining for supplies. I turned back to the vendor who made the remark. “How much?”

  “Five ounces of gold.”

  I winced. “Three.”

  “Four, and I won’t report you to Vindar.” His smile flashed from beneath the hood, letting me know that he knew. That everyone knew.

  “Three and I won’t blow up this room when I leave.” I showed my teeth in what I hoped was a sadistic smile. “If I’m going to die, then everyone dies. It’s that simple.”

  “Three ounces, then.” He held out his hand. His voice sounded angry, but at this point, I didn’t care. We had to get out of here and in a big way before Vindar swooped down on the market, dark or not.

  I poured what looked like three gold nuggets out and handed it to him. He put them on a scale. It read 2.8 ounces. I silently groaned. I took a smaller nugget and handed to him. “Keep the change.” I gathered my wares up and stuffed them in the bag I carried. I walked over to Li’alla, who was still dickering with her vendor. “Come on, we’ve got to go,” I hissed.

  “What?” Li’alla whispered. “I need detonators.”

  “Pay whatever, we’ve been discovered.”

  She pulled me aside. “How?”

  “My aura.”

  She groaned. “Shit, I didn’t think.” She looked at it. “Definitely not Dark Elf.” She went back to the Elf selling her the detonators. “All right, I’ll pay the ten ounces. Just throw in two more sticks and we’ll call it good.”

  The other Elf nodded and took her gold. I looked around. I couldn’t see Firvas anywhere. I leaned in. “Where’s our ride?”

  Li’alla looked up and around. “He’s gone.”

  “We’ve been had.”

  At that moment, Vindar and his men teleported in. “Nobody move!” Vindar demanded.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Two Drow materialized beside me and grabbed my arms as I went for my sword. Yeah, I called them Drow. If they were going to live down to their stereotype, I was going to call them that. I closed my eyes and focused on the one thing that could get us out of this mess.

  “Grab the girl, too.” Vindar’s voice sliced through my concentration.

  “Leave me the fuck alone!” Li’anna shouted as I heard her scuffle to try to get away. “Ow!”

  “You are a traitor to all Dark Elves.” Vindar spat as he walked up to her. “Did you really think you could get away with hiding a non-Elf?” He pulled down my hood and I opened m
y eyes, still concentrating and focusing on my power. “You make a pitiful looking Dark Elf…”

  “So do you.” That earned me a hard strike across the face. Luckily I had the helmet with cheek and nose guards on beneath the illusion or he would’ve probably broken my jaw. Instead, I heard a satisfying snap as at least one of his long fingers broke from his own blow. Karma’s a bitch, dude.

  “Ahhhh!” Vindar roared. “What the…” He raised a hand and my guise fell away, revealing the dragon mail armor and helmet. “You have the nerve to come here as a spy…”

  “Yeah, because you have the nerve of trying to murder innocent people so you can have another planet…”

  “Your planet is infested with vermin.” He sneered at me. “Your so-called innocents live but a little longer than the fleas that crawl on them. I’m doing them a service to them and the planet by taking them out.”

  “You know, I was actually going to offer a place for the Drow to live on my planet, but you’ve kinda put the kibosh on that, didn’t you? I guess I’ll have to tell our Supreme Commander it’s a no-go.”

  Li’alla looked at me confused. I gave her a haughty nod that I hoped she understood.

  “Supreme Commander?” Vindar laughed. “You mean like the President of the United States or King of England?”

  “Queen,” I corrected him. “How little you understand human politics. I was sent by the high Wizarding Council of Denver, Red Rocks, and Beau Jo’s to offer prime real estate to you and your brethren if you would swear fealty to the Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz.”

  “Who is this Wizard of Oz?” Vindar looked at me skeptically. “Is he a Light Elf?”

  “Nonsense! He is one of the immortal humans whose magic has made him transcend all death.”

  The Dark Elves murmured in surprise at the thought of an immortal human. One who was more powerful than Vindar. They looked me with a greater respect. Vindar laughed. “You’re a fucking idiot. This is why humans need to be erased from existence.”

  I snorted in disdain. “See? You have angered the Great and Powerful Oz!”

  Mega-sized Tuzren popped in, holding a carton with Beau Jo’s written on it. He was more than twelve feet tall and had a tail that would’ve made any dragon envious. “Anyone call for a double meat pizza?” he bellowed.

  He looked at me and winked, taking Vindar out with a single swipe of his tail. One of Vindar’s guards got bold and tried to stick him with a spear. The demon dropped the pizza carton, took the spear in his hands, and calmly snapped the metal like a toothpick. He grabbed a couple of guards and hurled them against the wall. He then let out a scream that pierced my ears while flexing his arms. The rest of Vindar’s soldiers fled.

  I turned to Vindar, but he spoke some words and disappeared.

  “Oww, really?” I said, turning to the demon. “Godzilla?”

  “Eir’s been letting me watch Godzilla movies.” Tuzren looked smug. In his supersized form, his expression was positively terrifying.

  The Dark Elf vendors fled as he turned towards them. I turned to the guy whom I dickered with over price. “You know, I really didn’t need all the summoning stuff. Can I get a refund?”

  The Elf just ran.

  “Can’t get good help these days.” Tuzren turned to Li’alla. “Hello, pretty.”

  “Tuz, she’s on our side.”

  “This is your demon?” She stared at him. “I thought you said he was small.”

  “When he’s not eating Beau Jo’s pizza.”

  “Elixir of the gods. Or the demons.” He waggled his eyebrows. “Have some; you’ll love it.”

  “Uh, dude, she’s my cousin.” I folded my arms.

  “Seriously?” He looked at her and then at me. “She’s better looking.”

  “Ha ha. Let’s get the hell out of here before they bring reinforcements.” I looked at the empty room now with my hood off and sent a mage light above me to see how large it was. Cavernous was a good description. Wearing a hood tends to block your vision as well as hide you. I was impressed. “Where the hell are we?”

  Li’alla shook her head. “I’ve been here before, but only when Firvas brought me. Otherwise I have no idea.” She sighed. “I guess I won’t be welcomed back.” With that, she scooped up handfuls of items and stuck them in her pouch. I raised my eyebrow at the theft. She shrugged. “Might as well beat the rush to steal this stuff.”

  I guess nothing stays nailed down when you’re desperate. I watched her and Tuzren take items they thought they needed. No way was I going to challenge a Dark Elf warrior and a twelve-foot-tall demon about their morals. My cousin reminded me a lot of Elryn, even if her ethics weren’t on par with the Light Elf’s. Still, I couldn’t help but wonder what Elryn would do if the roles were reversed.

  “How’d you summon the demon?” She stashed more C4 and detonators in her pack.

  “Hey, I’m here, you know.” Tuzren grumbled. He picked up the box of pizza, opened it up and stuffed it in his mouth.

  “I mentally summoned him,” I admitted. “I didn’t know how well it would work.”

  “Worked just fine. I heard you.” Tuzren said between chomps. He wiped his face off and grinned. “We’ve got to move next to the Beau Jo’s in Colorado. Save us some time.”

  I grinned, but my mind was elsewhere. I knew we had to get out of there, so I sent another call into the only help I knew would get us out quick. I turned to Li’alla. “What about Nana and the boys? Won’t they be in danger now that Vindar knows you’re helping me?”

  Li’alla shook her head. “No one knows where I live or whom I am related to. Don’t you humans have a saying that blood is thicker than water?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, no one of our clan would dare out us because there would be reprisal. They’d be signing their own death warrants because we’re Ironspells. And no one know where we live.”

  “Wait a second, you’re an Ironspell?” Tuzren looked at her.

  She crossed her arms. “Yeah, want to make something of it?”

  The demon turned to me. “Duuude, you have your father’s family here?”

  “Distantly related, but yeah.” I scratched my, what was now pointed, ear.

  “No wonder you look like a natural in a Santa’s workshop costume.” He snickered.

  “Asshole,” I grumbled.

  “Who’s Santa?” Li’alla looked confused.

  “It’s a lame joke.” I said. “Let’s get going. Vindar will most likely be back—and soon.”

  “Hey, it’s not lame.” Tuzren looked affronted.

  “Where are we going?” Li’alla asked.

  “Down this way,” I started walking. “Our ride will need better coordinates.”

  “Ride?” Li’alla glanced at Tuzren, who shrugged.

  “Come on, hurry!” I said, as I felt the familiar itch of magic being cast. It felt dark, like the magic that Vindar used to create the liches. As we hurried down the tunnel, I glanced at Li’alla. “What do you do with your dead?”

  “We consign them to the flames above ground,” she said. “Why?”

  “Good. No undead.”

  “No, but there are plenty of other creatures in these tunnels.” She glanced at me. “Why?”

  “Don’t you feel the magic?”

  Suddenly, a mounted Drow cavalry appeared all around us.

  Chapter Eighteen

  “What the fuck are those?” I stopped short as I faced down a Drow soldier riding some type of skeletal steed. It was a horse of sorts, but I was looking into the red glowing eyes of an angry predator. The creature was hideous with a skeletal head, a mane that flowed past its shoulder bones, and tatters of rotting skin and meat that hung from the creature’s bones. Instead of the normal blunt teeth of a grazer, this creature had hideously sharp teeth that belonged more on a shark than a horse.

  “Nightmares,” Li’alla said. “Or in these cases, Night-stallions. They are common creatures in this tunnel.”

  “I guess nice horsey w
ouldn’t want a sugar cube or carrot?”

  One of Nightmares snorted and blew fire out of its nostrils. I dodged and drew the Vorpal blade. I slashed at the creature and the Vorpal blade passed right through as though I was cutting air. The Nightmare reared and pounded me with its hoof, throwing me backwards on my ass. It bared its shark teeth at me.

  Tuzren took a swipe at the Nightmare that attacked me and it simply phased out as if it weren’t there at all. He cut through the air and the Nightmare latched onto his claws, biting hard before releasing him. “Oww! Dammit!” Tuzren snarled, pulling back his hands to see the damage. Black blood dripped from his wound. His claws and tail were useless against these new creatures.

  Vindar rode forward out of the group, astride his own Night-Stallion. “Nice try, Ironspell, but as you see, we have the upper hand—demon or not.”

  I looked at the creatures. They seemed to have the ability to phase in and out of the material plane at will, taking their riders with them. Their razor-sharp teeth were tough enough to pierce demon hide—not a small feat. And they had the ability to avoid being struck. Gods, I hate undead creatures. They’re enough to piss off Spiderman.

  At that moment, a loud scream reverberated through the cavern. Vindar turned his Night-stallion and saw a freaking sixty foot black dragon come charging into their midst, spewing flames. But, he wasn’t alone. Two other dragons followed close behind him and charged the Drow. The Nightmares screamed and panicked, even with their Drow masters keeping them reined in. They tried to phase out, but something about the dragons kept them from doing so.

  Maybe the dragons had their own magic that prevented the Nightmares from shifting. Fire poured from the dragons’ maws. Li’alla grasped my hand and pulled me through the opening in the cavalry caused by the chaos. We didn’t need to be flambéd along with the Drow. “Come on, Tuz!” I shouted.

  Tuzren laughed as he watched the dragons take on Vindar. The demon suddenly went from 12 feet to a foot and a half in mere seconds and flitted over to us. “You’ve got some handy friends.”