Leaning Into Series: The Complete Box Set

by Hayes, Lane

  I threw myself into Zane’s arms and buried my face in his shoulder. He held me in a strong embrace for a long moment until I pulled back and gave him a serious look. “What if I’m not worth the risk?”

  “I know you are. I don’t think you can go wrong when you fall for someone you know has your back. So much so that he’s willing to walk away to save me from financial ruin.” Zane lifted my chin and kissed my cold nose. “That’s what you were doing, right? Letting me go because you love me?”

  “Yes. I love you.”

  “Then…lean in. We’re in this together. I don’t need you to fix me or my problems. I just want you by my side.”

  “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Good.”

  Standing on a cliff in the circle of his arms, I was struck with a stunning sense of clarity. Love was a subtle give and take. Love wasn’t based on one-sided emotional currency. I wasn’t responsible for Zane’s happiness without a thought for myself. He didn’t expect me to have all the answers. He only wanted me to give what I could and trust that I had someone in my corner who was willing to ride out any storms or a change in course. I was luckier than most. I had my best friend.

  Epilogue

  “The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you.”–The Illustrated, Rumi

  A cool breeze whipped across the boardwalk. It was a beautiful April day. Perfect for sailing, Zane assured me that morning. It was perfectly freezing, I groused as I put my head down and hurried toward the sound of raucous cheering. I had no idea what the hell had happened out on the water. It didn’t matter how many times Zane tried to explain the rules of sailboat racing, it was still a mystery to me. I’d happily listen to his excited retelling of the crazy cutback he made to cross port and take the lead, but I didn’t understand it. My only concern was that he made it back safely.

  When I reached the main dock, I scanned the crowd, hoping to spot him among the masses. I wished I knew what was going on without having to ask dumb questions like, “Who won?” I adjusted my sunglasses and squinted against the sun’s reflection glittering on the Bay. My best bet was to wait. And try to be patient.

  Someone bumped my shoulder a moment later and stopped to apologize. Don Carrigan. I took his offered hand and returned his grin. The guy looked like a five-year-old on Christmas morning.

  “Eric! Did you see Zane out there? His team rounded that last mark a full length ahead of the next boat. Damn, that was impressive!”

  “Does that mean he won?”

  Don didn’t seem bothered by the lame inquiry. His smile widened as he patted my back. “Yes, son. He won. I knew he would. Your fiancé is the best there is on this course. I knew we’d be in good hands with him. When is that wedding, by the way?”

  “October, sir,” I replied, unable to keep my own smile from spreading like wildfire across my face.

  “Congratulations. I look forward to it. Ah! There he is!” Don exclaimed before hurrying to greet my man with an enthusiastic hug.

  I observed them from afar, marveling for the umpteenth time at the direction our lives had taken over the past couple months. That day on the cliff had changed everything. In a way, I felt like I’d taken a flying leap into a great unknown. Sometimes the enormity of my feelings frightened me, but I knew I wasn’t alone. Zane was with me every step of the way.

  “Hi Cap’n. Nice race out there,” I said, making my way toward him just as Don moved on.

  His eyes twinkled with humor. “Thanks, baby. You do know we won, right?”

  “Of course!” I shrugged and slipped my hands around his waist. “Well, Don told me. He also called you my fiancé. When did you tell him?”

  “Yesterday, I think. I couldn’t keep it to myself. It’s not a secret. We already told our friends and picked a date. Why not tell my sponsor? I just won the first regatta of the season. No doubt he’ll want to show his appreciation with a large gift,” Zane chuckled then pressed kisses on my forehead, my nose and my lips.

  He knew I didn’t mind. I wanted to blast our news from the rooftops too. I was marrying my best friend and I loved knowing everyone was as thrilled for us as we were. Including Nick’s almost father-in-law. Don still wasn’t a fan of my business partner, but he loved my fiancé and thankfully, I’d managed to finagle my way back into his good graces too.

  “Mmm. China, crystal or navy towels?”

  Zane laughed. “Sure. Come on. You’re shivering. We can go now.”

  “Don’t you have to stay here and do sailor-y stuff?”

  “Nah. The award ceremony is tomorrow. They can tell me how awesome I am then. You can do it now. I think we agreed a regatta win was worth whatever I wanted…in bed.”

  I snickered appreciatively. “What did you have in mind?”

  “You. Naked. The rest will come to me.” He cuddled me to his side and held me closer when a gust of cool wind stole my breath. “Let’s go home, baby.”

  I laced my fingers through Zane’s and smiled. He was right about us. We navigated well together. I thought being friends first would make us complicated. Now I knew it was our biggest strength. And because of Zane, I knew anything was possible when you leaned into love.

  Bonus Chapter- Wedding Prep

  Eric

  If my phone didn’t stop vibrating I was going to lose my mind. Or chuck it across the living room. Someone should have warned me that planning a wedding and running a multi-million dollar firm were not compatible endeavors. Even with a wedding planner and an assistant, I was having a hard time keeping track of my schedule while I pondered major decisions, like the kind of flowers we should have and what color scheme worked best for an October wedding.

  “Your cell is ringing, babe.” Zane tousled my hair as he walked by the sofa. He stopped in his tracks and bent over to pick it up and drop it in my lap. “You better answer it. It’s Sherry, the persistent wedding planner. If you ignore her now, she’ll call tonight when we’re in bed and keep you on the phone talking about the seating arrangement at the reception.”

  “Would you please answer it? I can’t deal with her now. I’m too fucking stressed.” I slumped into the cushion as though poor posture was proof of my sincerity.

  “Fine.” He cupped my dick through my suit pants then grabbed my cell. “Too late. It went to voice mail.”

  I gritted my teeth and willed myself to count to ten before I blasted him. “Could you call her back? Please.”

  Zane held my gaze for a moment then shrugged nonchalantly and flopped on the armchair opposite from me before pushing Send.

  “Hi Sherry. No, it’s Zane. Eric was dealing with work stuff so I figured I’d call you back and—yeah. Flowers? Uh. Well, I don’t know. I guess orange is cool. Sunflowers are nice…”

  Don’t do it, don’t do it. I bit the inside of my cheek and pursed my lips while I listened to a one-sided discussion that mostly consisted of my fiancé saying “yeah, that sounds cool”. Cool. I didn’t want a cool wedding. I want a beautiful wedding. An elegant affair with roses and candlelight and—

  “Give me the phone,” I said, crooking my finger meaningfully at Zane.

  He narrowed his gaze and shook his head.

  “Great. I’ll tell him we’re all set. Just shoot me a reminder. You have my email address, right? Okay. Thank you.” He disconnected the call and then tossed the phone at me with a wicked grin. “We decided on daisies, sunflowers and mason jars with beeswax candles. Oh, and red and white checked tablecloths. You’re welcome.”

  I opened my mouth to respond but nothing came out. Zane leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and stared at me with an expectant look. A strained silence floated between us. At least that’s how it felt to me. I supposed I misread it when Zane pounced and flattened himself on top of me.

  “Oomph! Can’t breathe,” I gasped. I pushed his chest but he didn’t budge. “Zane, move it.”

  “Nope. Not until I get you to relax. Put your legs around me. Do it now. Good boy. Now let’
s talk about flowers. Daisies are sweet and inexpensive. Maybe even free. I can get up early the day of the wedding and drive over to Muir Woods and pick a bunch. If we freeze them all day, they should be in decent shape by the time the ceremony starts. What time was that again?”

  The obvious humor in his voice invited me to laugh and stop taking everything so damn seriously. But old habits died hard.

  “It’s not funny.”

  “Er, look at me.” He tilted my chin toward him and smiled. “We’ve got months to work out the details. You’ve got to stop driving yourself nuts. It doesn’t have to be perfect.”

  “Oh my God. Please tell me you didn’t just say that.”

  “Okay, I didn’t just say that. Scratch that line. It’s going to be perfect and—”

  “Do you even care if it’s perfect? If your response to everything is “hey, that’s cool, man”, we’re going to have a big fucking problem because yes, everything has to be perfect!” I yelled.

  Zane shifted off me and gave me the “what the fuck?” look I deserved. “Is this a groom-zilla moment? No wait. Don’t answer that. I have a feeling I wasn’t supposed to ask that question either.”

  “You weren’t,” I assured him as I sat up and buried my head in my hands.

  What the hell was wrong with me? I was not the type who freaked out over flowers. Ever. If I wasn’t careful, I was going to scare my almost-husband away before we got anywhere near the altar.

  Zane scooted closer then set his arm around my shoulders and kissed my temple. “Tell me what I can do to help.”

  “I don’t know. I’m a control freak who’s losing control. I’m stressed out at work. I’m dodging the wedding planner’s calls ’cause I’m afraid of making all the wrong choices but I don’t know what the right ones are or if it really matters if the dinner napkins match our colors and at this very second, I don’t know what the fuck our color is. Is this who we are? We never talked about colors before, did we? Am I killing us over this wedding? Maybe we should skip the ceremony or skip the whole thing. I don’t want to lose you because I’ve turned into some maniac groom-zilla you don’t recognize. Why are we doing this in the first place?”

  “Because we love each other and we want to spend the rest of our lives together,” he replied in a matter-of-fact tone. “It’s that simple. You’re not going to lose me. I love you. I admit I don’t get as revved up over the details as you do, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care. I want it to be special too. The thing is…I know it will be. It doesn’t matter if it rains or if we serve fried chicken instead of filet mignon. The only thing that matters is that we’re going to have a kickass party in our honor with our friends and family.”

  “You’re right. I’ll try to…relax.”

  “Delegate. Give me something to do that you don’t have time for, like…napkins! I can be in charge of napkins!”

  I chuckled and leaned into his side. “No one cares about napkins, Zane.”

  “Ah! You’re catching on! See? Don’t sweat the small stuff. We hired a wedding planner for a reason. If you don’t want to deal with her, I will.”

  “Thanks but it has to be me.”

  “Why?” He squinted at me like he was looking into the sun.

  I pushed a strand of his hair behind his ear and cocked my head. “Sherry has a crush on you.”

  “She does not!”

  “She does too.”

  “She’s married with kids.”

  “What does that have to do with anything? I’m not suggesting I don’t trust her to keep her hands off my man, but I’m a little concerned you’ll tell her our favorite color is blue and—”

  “It is. We both love blue.”

  “Sure, but I don’t want a nautical-themed wedding. I want something…classy.”

  Zane scowled. “Nautical shit is totally classy.”

  I busted up laughing then kissed his shoulder. “You know what I mean. I love blue but it isn’t an autumn color. We have to choose yellows, oranges or reds. Which means I need to study floral charts and see what works best with the view of the city from the yacht club and—why are you looking at me like I have two heads?”

  “ ’Cause that’s crazy talk. Don’t make this into a homework assignment. You’re going to take the fun out of landing a great catch like me.”

  “You’re hysterical tonight,” I deadpanned.

  “I try.” Zane chuckled then pulled me on top of him so I straddled his thighs. “Let’s do this. We’ll meet with Sherry together this weekend to talk about fun things like flowers. In the meantime, you’re going to give me one major job to do.”

  “You can be in charge of the honeymoon.”

  Zane raised his brow at my quick response but nodded. “Okay. Any special requests?”

  “Anything is fine.”

  “That’s a lie. Try again.”

  I snickered and threw my arms around his neck. “My only request is that it’s relaxing. After that…it’s up to you.”

  “Cool. I got this,” he declared with a self-satisfied grin.

  His smile was contagious. I hugged him close and rubbed my stubbled chin against his, loving his immediate growl of approval. “What exactly do you “got”?”

  Zane glanced up and traced a path along my mouth then down my neck. “I got you. That’s all I want. That’s all I need.”

  Zane

  Eric looked at me like I’d offered him the moon and as many stars as he wanted when all I was doing was telling the truth. He was it for me. He was smart, kind, loyal and fiercely passionate. Well before he was my fiancé, he was one of my best friends and right from the start I knew I was lucky to be part of his circle. Okay, maybe that wasn’t exactly true.

  Technically, we knew each other since high school but we weren’t friends then. I thought I knew his type in those days. He was one of those “know-it-all” kids with a genius IQ who didn’t think much of a surfer dude who habitually told the teachers my dog ate my homework. And yeah, I didn’t have a dog. I ignored him and he ignored me. Until we met at student orientation our freshman year at Stanford. I won’t claim we became instant buddies but we were a sort of touchstone for each other. Two guys from the same town, albeit different sides of the track, who landed at the same prestigious college. I had water polo to thank for my place in school but I also knew I had a unique opportunity to make something of my life and I wasn’t going to fuck it up. Hanging out with someone like Eric seemed like a good idea at the time. I didn’t know then it was the best fucking idea I’d ever had in my life. Nor did I imagine a scenario where twelve years later I’d be two months away from marrying him. Un-fucking-believable.

  I ran my fingers down Eric’s neck, loving his audible gulp and the slide of his Adam’s apple. He was so responsive. The slightest touch made him quiver with need. I unbuttoned his light blue oxford shirt and swatted his hands away when he tried to help. When he went straight for his belt buckle and then mine, I didn’t stop him. I pinched his nipples then splayed my hands along his sides to draw him closer so I could lick him. Eric moaned above me. I could feel him working on freeing himself from the confines of his suit pants and briefs. He let out a sigh of relief when he pulled his rigid cock out and lifted my T-shirt up my chest to grind against my stomach. I slipped my fingers under the elastic band and grabbed his bare ass.

  “Fuck. That’s good.”

  It was good, but we both knew it could be better. “Get up, baby. Take your clothes off.”

  He scrambled off my lap and nodded. Of course, being Eric, he checked to make sure the blinds were closed throughout the living room and that no one could see in through the kitchen window. I chuckled as I unzipped my jeans and lifted my hips to shuck them off with my boxer briefs. Then I sat back with my dick in my hand and snapped my fingers. Eric let out an amused huff at my impatience. But instead of hurrying up, he deliberately slowed down to do a striptease act. I grabbed the lube from the top drawer of the side table next to the sofa and greased my palm before sittin
g back to watch the show while I stroked myself.

  “Oh my God. I want that,” he whimpered as he toed off his shoes and shoved his pants and briefs down his legs.

  “Come and get it,” I growled in a sex-hazed tone I barely recognized as my own voice.

  Eric poured some lube on his fingers then reached back to stretch himself open. Once he was satisfied, he climbed on top of me and shifted weight to sit on my dick. I caught the back of his knee to stop his descent.

  “What? Do you want to go to our room?”

  “No, but there’s no rush. Stand over me and let me suck you.”

  “I can’t wait. Please Zane.” he protested.

  There was no way I could refuse. I knew what he meant. We got tested and stopped using condoms a few months ago. The thrill of sex without a latex barrier hadn’t dwindled. I licked the precum leaking from the tip of his cock as he adjusted his weight. He hovered over me, dripping lube on my palm before reaching back to add more to his entrance. When he positioned himself over my dick, I gently pushed a finger inside instead.

  Eric winced and went still for a moment. Then he wiggled his hips and made a strangled sound I knew meant he wanted more. I added a second digit and finger fucked him while I stroked my painfully hard cock. When I tried to add a third, he slapped my hand away and slowly lowered himself on me.

  I wrapped my arms around him but let him control the movement until he was fully seated. Then I tugged at his hair and slipped my tongue in his mouth as he began to ride me. He set a steady, even pace at first, bracing his feet on either side of my thighs as he stroked himself and rode me like a pro. He licked my lips and nibbled my jaw as he moved. When I pulled his cheeks apart and then smacked his ass, he upped the tempo. He swiveled his hips as he slid up and down me like a man possessed. I arched my back and fucked him in quick short strokes from below then gripped his shaft when his rhythm faltered.