Leaning Into Series: The Complete Box Set

by Hayes, Lane

  “How’s it going, Ry?” he asked casually as he uncorked a bottle of reserve for a customer.

  “It’s going pretty good.”

  I bit my bottom lip and surveyed the area. Wes and Nick stepped in to help pour wine when a busload of tourists invaded the wine tasting room unexpectedly. Lauren handled the gift shop while Geordie sold a few cases of wine to a couple from Mendocino near the fireplace. That left Danny and me handling the opposite end of the bar, working side by side for the first time all day.

  “I’m glad to hear that,” he whispered.

  I poured a small serving into the wineglasses of the two middle-aged women in front of me and gave my usual speech about the hints of fruit and the hearty bouquet in the Pinot they were tasting before stepping back to stand next to the object of my intense desire. I wanted to push him against the wall, pin his arms over his head, and kiss the hell out of him. At the very least, I wanted to touch him.

  “How do you feel?” I asked conversationally in a normal tone.

  “Fine. But I wish I could kiss you,” he replied loudly.

  I gaped at him with a wide-eyed, fish out of water look for a long few seconds. Of course my two customers heard him. I bet I looked like a freshly boiled lobster when they sighed simultaneously. The brunette with cherry-red lipstick and giant diamond earrings grinned from ear-to-ear. “Are you two boyfriends?”

  “Uh, well…I—” I sputtered.

  “Yeah. We’re kinda new at the whole dating thing, but we’re…together,” Danny amended, setting his arm over my shoulders.

  “Oh my God, that’s so sweet,” the other woman cooed, waving her bejeweled hand in front of her eyes as though she were warding off tears.

  Her theatrical flair was a bit much, but I didn’t laugh. I was frozen in a weird state of shock. But instead of the accompanying bout of embarrassment and maybe even annoyance I expected to follow, I felt oddly…free. I leaned into Danny’s side and kissed his cheek.

  And everything in the room stopped.

  At least that’s what it felt like. Music, conversation, laughter, the clinking of glasses…everything went quiet. A blessed sweet silence fell, and a sense of well-being floated then wrapped itself around me, binding me to the man at my side. Danny’s surprise faded quickly and was replaced with a radiant smile that stole my breath away. He captured my face in his hands and kissed me in front of the entire fucking winery.

  When he finally pulled back for air, sound flooded back with a vengeance. I ignored the sensory overload as best I could and concentrated on Danny. His searching gaze had a hopeful element I wanted to question and quantify. “I’m kinda crazy about you, Ry.”

  Oh, wow. I gulped and gave a short nod before leaning in to kiss his chin. “Same here, Danny boy. Same here.”

  “Wait. You have something on your cheek. An eyelash.” He gently brushed his thumb under my eye then held it for me to inspect. “Blow it and make a wish.”

  “Like a birthday candle?”

  “Hey, no jokes. Wishes are serious things,” he admonished playfully.

  “I clearly recall you saying, ‘Be careful what you wish for,’ when we played tennis. Remember that?”

  “Okay, but this kind of wish is like a karmic freebie. You can’t pass it up. Ever. Go on.” He waited for me to obey then asked, “Was it something good?”

  I grinned. “I think so. I wished you’d—”

  “No! You can’t tell me, or it won’t come true.”

  “Danny, it was an eyelash, not a shooting star.”

  He scoffed good-naturedly. “Don’t rank the worthiness of one wish opportunity over another. Take what you can get, baby. You never know when you’ll get lucky.”

  He winked then squeezed my hand and stepped aside to help a new round of customers. I stared at him, unable to hide my bewilderment. He confounded me. Between his public declaration and his boyish enthusiasm regarding the sacredness of a wish, I was enchanted. Dangerously so. Danny was a short-term fling at best. Falling for him would only result in heartache.

  * * *

  That afternoon we became “Ryan and Danny.” Sure, there were questions. Wes and Nick were mystified and Lauren was shocked. Geordie was the only one who responded to the “news” with a subtle shrug that seemed to say, “I knew it all along” without uttering a word.

  However, a kiss in front of friends, coworkers, and a gaggle of strangers might be construed as advertising we’d had too much to drink over the weekend and made a series of questionable choices that led to a memorable night. Everyone knew one great roll in the sheets, or on the sofa, didn’t always lead to the beginning of a beautiful romance. Then again, it just might.

  Either way, we were suddenly free to explore each other freely. We were an inseparable overnight dynamic duo and everyone noticed. Not that we bothered hiding. We stole kisses in the back room, held hands under the bar, and stood a little too close. The magnetic pull was too damn strong to ignore, and there was a sense of urgency in knowing we didn’t have much time to enjoy this new thing we’d found.

  We played tennis together most mornings, showered at my place, then drove into work together. We were professional while we poured wine for customers and dealt with the ho-hum daily aspects of the job. However, the winery wasn’t as crowded during the week, so we had more opportunities to chat and get to know each other. Silly questions like, “What was your favorite breakfast cereal when you were a kid?” became major debate topics with everyone throwing in their two cents. But Danny and I would always find a quiet corner to delve a little deeper.

  “No one says Wheat Chex, Ry. Ever. Tell me you like the frosted ones and I’ll let this slide,” Danny teased with a lopsided grin as he clandestinely rested his hand on my lower back.

  I twisted the dish cloth around the rim of the wineglass I was drying then set it on the low shelf under the bar and reached for a new one. I paused to toss a clean towel at Danny. “Get to work, slacker. We can’t talk about Frosted Flakes and Trix all day.”

  He picked up a glass from the open dishwasher and obeyed. He was quiet for a moment and for now, so was the tasting room. It was almost quitting time and in the days before Thanksgiving, our flurry of business was done earlier in the day. It was dark by five o’clock. And cold. The homey fire in the fireplace across the room lent a cozy feeling to the warm atmosphere inside. Or maybe that was all Danny. As much as I looked forward to having him to myself once we locked up for the night, I loved this too.

  “Trix suck,” he blurted.

  I snickered at his boyish frown. “Okay, I’ll bite. Why do Trix suck?”

  “ ’Cause they’re all these fun colors in a cute little round shape and they look like they’d be the fucking bomb. But then you pour some milk over them and…blah. They dissolve into a soggy, rainbow mess. Yuck.”

  “They aren’t meant to be savored like a fine wine. You’re supposed to eat ’em fast,” I said in a serious voice.

  “Apple Jacks are better.”

  “Please tell me you don’t have Apple Jacks hidden in your pantry.”

  “No, you’d have found them by now,” he groused playfully.

  It was true. I would have noticed if he bought kid cereal, and I would have been surprised. Danny ate oatmeal with fruit and almonds every day. He wasn’t as fussy about lunch or dinner, but breakfast was set in stone.

  “I was kidding. You’d never in a gazillion years buy Trix or Frosted Flakes or even my delicious Wheat Chex. Admit it.”

  “Not now, but when I was a kid I’d have given my entire piggy bank to the first person who offered me a box of Lucky Charms. And that’s saying something ’cause that thing was heavy.”

  “Mom and Dad wouldn’t buy marshmallow cereal for you, eh? That’s just cruel,” I teased sarcastically.

  “My folks are health and fitness freaks. I wasn’t allowed any sugar when I was growing up. My mom wouldn’t let me go to birthday parties unless the other parent guaranteed her I wouldn’t be offered a piece of cak
e or candy and if I promised to the tennis gods that I’d take care of myself and do the right thing. True story. God, I feel like chocolate cake now.”

  “The tennis gods?”

  “McEnroe, Agassi, Sampras. The list included their favorites from the seventies too,” he said with a half laugh. “Don’t look so shocked. It wasn’t a literal prayer. Just a reminder that greatness only comes with discipline. Maybe that’s true, but I just wanted to be a regular kid sometimes.”

  “That’s understandable.” I shut the dishwasher and folded the dishcloth meticulously before setting it on the counter. “How do you know what soggy Trix cereal tastes like then?”

  Danny made a funny face, wrinkling his nose and pursing his lips. “In one of my finer moments, I snuck a couple of those tiny boxes they give you at a restaurant buffet and got caught chowing down on ’em. My mom was livid. I was too. I’d just poured milk over those yummy suckers. I’d had one bite and loved it. I couldn’t wait to lick that bowl clean. Then she walked in and killed my fun.”

  “Did she take them away from you?”

  “No, worse. She gave me a stern lecture about nutrition then sat next to me, handed my spoon to me and told me to finish up. Of course my appetite was ruined. I stared at those rainbow balls helplessly and watched them shrivel up and turn the milk a creepy shade of orange and pink. At nine years old, my pride was stronger than my sense of guilt. I knew I was supposed to push the cereal away, but I wanted one more bite. I shoveled up a massive spoonful, opened my mouth, and ugh…I almost gagged. It was disgusting. Soggy and sickeningly sweet. Mom won. I haven’t eaten that crap in years.”

  His tone was light and jocular, but I sensed a frustration underneath that made me sympathize with his younger self. I could picture him sitting at the kitchen table with his legs not quite touching the ground, hovering over his contraband bowl of cereal, torn between desire and shame.

  I slipped my arm around his slim waist and traced the C on the Conrad Winery logo over his heart. “I have an idea. Name one thing your parents never let you do and let’s do it together.”

  Danny grinned then snatched my hand and pressed a kiss over my knuckles. “You’re really fucking cute. Thank you. I appreciate the sentiment, but I don’t really want to eat cereal and you wouldn’t want to do anything craz—”

  “Sure I would,” I intercepted. “Nothing that’ll get us arrested or send us to the hospital but otherwise, yes. Whatever you want.”

  He backed up to read my expression then raised his brow. “Why?”

  “Because you shouldn’t have had to apologize for wanting to be a kid when you were one. No one should tell you they’re disappointed you aren’t who they wanted you to be. It’s not fair.”

  Danny squinted and cocked his head. “Are we talking about me now or you?”

  I shrugged. “Both, I guess.”

  He nodded sagely then lifted my hand to his lips and gave me a devilish grin. “Okay. Then let’s go be bad.”

  * * *

  Maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised to find myself standing on the roof of the clubhouse thirty minutes later. I looked down at the deep end of our condo complex’s pool in my borrowed swim trunks and a sweatshirt and shivered. The pool house was a poorly planned relic of the eighties with a flat one-story roof built too close to the water. It practically invited teenagers and adults who should know better to do stupid things…like jump.

  I wrapped my arms around myself to ward off the chill, but it was futile. The wind had calmed down, but it was still cold. This was a night for hot cocoa by the fireplace, not for participating in high school-esque dares. I had to be crazy.

  Danny rubbed his hands together excitedly. “All right. Here’s the plan. I’ll jump in first, swim to the ledge, and meet you in the Jacuzzi. You follow. Ready?”

  “W-w-wait. Did you bring t-towels?”

  “You saw me bring the towels…and wine.”

  “I don’t want wine. I want to make sure I have a towel and then maybe hot ch-chocolate,” I whimpered.

  “You can have all the chocolate you want.” Danny grabbed my elbow and then held me close when he realized how badly I was shaking. “Hey, Ry. Take my sweatshirt, pull it over yours and meet me down there. You don’t have to ju—”

  “I want to,” I insisted. “I do. B-but not yet. Stay close for a minute. This feels nice. Tell me a s-story.”

  Danny wrapped me in his arms and nuzzled my cheek. “A story?”

  “What will your Thanksgiving be like? It’s going to be lonely here without you.”

  “I’ll only be gone a couple of days. You’ll be too busy to miss me. Geordie’s been talking about turkey dinner for weeks.”

  I snorted with amusement. “I know. I can’t blame him though. It’s pretty epic. If the weather cooperates, we’ll set one ginormous table outside overlooking the vineyard and feast until the sun goes down.”

  “How many people will be there?” he asked, kissing the top of my head.

  “Thirtysomething. Wes and Nick’s friends from the city are all coming. Josh and Finn might even bring baby Anna with them too. She’s seven months old now and…I hope they do. I haven’t been around kids during the holidays in forever.” I brushed my stubbled chin against his then glanced skyward at the stars visible through the foliage above the flat roof of the pool house. “What about you? Do you have any fun traditions?”

  “Not really. We play tennis in the morning as a family. I guess that’s a tradition. ‘A little competition to get the juices going.’ That’s my dad’s pregame mantra,” he explained with a groan.

  “Hmm. Do you ever want to play competitively again?”

  Danny shrugged unhappily. “My parents want me to, but I don’t love it the way I used to. I wish I did sometimes, and I guess that’s the part that sucks. I feel like I’m in a relationship where the sport and I want different things.”

  “What do you want?”

  “I want to love it without being married to it. Does that make sense?”

  “Yeah.” I frowned. I did understand but I wondered why his wording bothered me. “You want your freedom.”

  “Exactly! I want to be free to enjoy the game and other things too…like learn the wine biz, meet new people,” he tightened his hold slightly then continued, “be with you.”

  I was tempted to ask how he’d feel in January, but I didn’t want to ruin the moment. This felt magical somehow. It was so quiet on the roof and with the giant tree looming overhead, I could imagine we were in a tree house telling secrets like old friends.

  “I’m a pretty sucky tennis partner though. I can’t imagine it’s any fun playing with someone who isn’t in your league.”

  “We’re in the same league in ways that count. I wouldn’t want to give this up right now for tennis or…anything. Even standing out here in the cold with you feels good.” He tangled his fingers in my hair and kissed me. “I don’t love the game anymore and I feel guilty about it. Honestly, it makes me dread going home.”

  “W-why?” I shivered when he backed up to yank his sweatshirt over his head then set it over my shoulders.

  “Because my parents think this ‘wine thing’ is a phase. Every time I’m home, they want me to meet with the pros at the club and talk about getting back on the court and maybe taking a job working with kids. I’m never going to play at the level I once had a shot at and they know it. But they don’t listen. And the guilt makes it hard to get my point across.”

  “It’s your life.”

  “I know, but I let them down, Ry. I was the inconsiderate schmuck who ripped everyone’s dreams away when I landed in the hospital with broken bones and a concussion the week before a major tournament. The tournament. The one that should have upped my rankings, attracted a big-name coach, sponsorship, the works.”

  “Oh.”

  “Yeah, ‘oh.’ ” He was quiet for a moment then he sighed. “I’m not proud that I disappointed my parents but…I like my life now. I didn’t plan on a career i
n the wine biz. I just wanted to get out of Colorado and start over on my terms. I like where I am and what I’m doing. And I really like who I’m with.” He rested his forehead on mine before continuing in a softer tone. “You make me feel alive, really alive for the first time in five years. I don’t need to jump off this roof to get that rush. You’re all I need. So when I think about spending the holiday without you…it doesn’t seem fun at all.”

  I stared at him, dumbfounded. I didn’t expect that. I bit my lip and let out a deep breath. “I have a confession. My crush is more than a crush, and I want more than chocolate from you.”

  “What do you want, Ry?”

  “You.”

  “You have me. I’m here,” he said, grazing his fingers along my jaw.

  “I want you inside me.”

  Danny went completely still then nodded comically. “Yes. Yes. I—me too.”

  “We need to get down first,” I reminded him with wry smile.

  “The fastest way is to jump. Are you ready?”

  I inclined my head then stepped backward, yanked my sweatshirt over my head, and dropped it next to Danny’s. Then I tossed a cocky grin over my shoulder and ran to the edge of the roof and leaped feet first into the darkness.

  I hung suspended in mid-air for what felt like thirty seconds but was probably closer to three. And in the way time compresses, allowing thoughts to crystallize in uncanny moments, I felt suddenly in tune with myself. I was where I was supposed to be, flying through space, head over heels for the man behind me. The adrenaline coursing through me was rooted in more than a dangerous jump into frigid water. It signified an act of surrender.

  I hit the water and plunged to the bottom of the deep end. Every nerve ending in my body came to life followed by a healing calm and a renewed sense of purpose. Maybe Danny and I didn’t have forever, but I was damn sure I’d make the most of every second I was with him. No hesitation. No waiting for the right time or the right words. Now was perfect.