by Hayes, Lane
“That’s almost comical,” I deadpanned.
“In my defense, there’s always a lot going on in here, and I usually don’t look up.”
I gaped at him with my mouth open wide and then did what all rational people do when they’re at a loss for words. I crumpled on the stone floor in a dramatic heap. I closed my eyes and let my arms and legs go limp, so I probably looked like a body in relief in a taped-off crime scene.
“What’s he doing?” Levi asked.
“He’s being Geordie,” Wes replied.
I opened my eyes wide enough to get a peek of them standing above me. Wes on his cell and Levi rubbing his stubbled jaw thoughtfully.
“Does he do this often?”
“Not daily but yeah…often enough. He’s big on exclamation point moments. Grand entrances and exits and collapsing midsentence kind of moments. Totally normal. Nick’s on his way home. I’m going to order a pizza. Geord, do you want me to order a salad for you?”
I sat up and glared at him. “Yes. But this is why we aren’t friends, Wesley.”
Wes rolled his eyes. “Someone’s got to keep it real here. That would be me. Sausage, pepperoni…what else?”
I held my hand out imperiously. Levi helped me up and pulled me to his side, securing his arm around my waist so I couldn’t move without making a fuss.
“Peppers,” Levi suggested. “So, I’m going to guess he’s saying I should get a chandelier for La Vid.”
“That’s the less dramatic translation but yeah…and you should probably take him with you. He’s a little crazy, but he has great taste,” Wes said matter-of-factly. “Why don’t you go tomorrow? It supposed to be a beautiful day.”
“I can’t go to the city tomorrow. I’m working,” I grumbled.
“Take the weekend off. We don’t have any big parties this weekend, but if we were unexpectedly bombarded, we have plenty of staff available to cover. Go, Birdie.” Wes typed something into his phone then looked at Levi. “If you need any further translating assistance, let me know. I’m fluent in Geordie-speak.”
“I truly dislike you,” I said.
Wes grinned. “I love you too and—oh, hi. Yes, I’d like to order an extra large…”
I sighed heavily as Wes turned away to place his pizza order and then wiggled out of Levi’s hold. “He’s right. Of course, he managed to convey my message in the most boring way possible but yes…you need a chandelier, and I can help. It doesn’t have to be tomorrow but a trip to San Francisco is a must and—”
“Tomorrow is good. I’ll pick you up after I talk to the contractor in the morning. It’ll be fun. You and me and the open road. We’ll crank Led Zeppelin, count out-of-state license plates, and scarf donuts and coffee. What do you say?” Levi held his fist up for a bro bump.
I laid my hand over his and cocked my head. “Substitute show tunes and bagels, and we have a deal.”
Levi punched the air and let out a whoop before chanting, “Road trip! Road trip! Road trip!”
I pursed my lips and did my best not to smile at his boyish enthusiasm, but when he swept me in his arms and spun me around like a rag doll, I laughed outright.
When he set me free, I brushed off my sleeves and gave him a sideways glance. “You said La Vid earlier. Have you decided to take my suggestion?”
“Oh, was that your idea?” he teased, tousling my hair. When I swatted him away, he raised his hands in surrender and chuckled. “Yeah, I think La Vid is a good name. Maybe even slightly better than The Vine or The Grape.”
“Only slightly better? Like chocolate milkshakes are slightly better than vanilla?” I singsonged.
He widened his eyes in shock, falling onto his knees in an exclamation point statement of his own. I threw back my head and laughed then crouched beside him and poked his side until he opened his eyes.
“Take that back.”
“Or what?”
“Or else,” he countered with a scowl.
“Damn, that turns me on.” When his forehead creased a little more, I added, “Fine. I retract my previous statement. Chocolate rules.”
He sat up and nodded his approval. “Cool. Now say ‘chocolate rules’ three times in a row.”
I snickered but decided to play along because if I didn’t talk, I’d be tempted to jump on top of him. And Wes would probably want to know why I was smothering our new business partner with kisses.
Levi was silly. He was the grown-up version of the jocks I secretly idolized in my youth. The strong, resilient type with a good sense of humor and a healthy dose of self-confidence. The idea of having him to myself for an entire day felt like a personal big exclamation point moment. But I played it cool. I pretended my heart didn’t skip a beat when he held me a little too long or when he squeezed my fingers before letting me go. I refused to believe my body was giving off warning signs, because there was no way in a million years I’d fall for anyone ever again. This was just for fun.
The ribbon of highway leading from Napa to the city was quiet and picturesque. Blue skies and rolling green hillsides were interrupted occasionally by a copse of California oak trees and farms with grazing cows and sheep. I loved living in wine country, but I was a city boy at heart. The prospect of a day trip with a hunky man to my old stomping grounds was oddly thrilling. Even if he was a tad cranky.
“You gotta give me a break with the show tunes, Geord. Just turn it down a bit. Please.”
I tsked ruefully but leaned over to adjust the volume. “Lucky for you, this isn’t my favorite song. You never know what you’re going to get on satellite radio. Let me sync my phone with your sound system. I’m in the mood for Cabaret.”
Levi groaned when I sang the first few lines of the musical. “I’m begging you, baby. Just…shh.”
I rolled my eyes at his pathetic tone and twisted in the passenger seat to face him. “You aren’t allowed to call me that, you know.”
“Why not? You just asked to sync your phone in my truck. That’s a pretty forward request. Kinda like Bluetooth sex,” he quipped as he switched lanes.
I threw my head back and laughed. “Too forward? Fine. If we must have silence, talk to me.”
“That doesn’t make sense. If I start talking, it wouldn’t be silent.”
“Someone isn’t a morning person,” I singsonged. “What happened to your zeppelins and donuts and road trip rah-rah?”
“It’s early. I need some time for the coffee to absorb, that’s all. I’ll be fine by the time I finish this.” He raised the to-go cup in his right hand and took a sip before placing it in the cup holder.
“Eight o’clock is not early unless—are you hung over? You seemed fine last night. Did you go out after you left the winery? Oh.” I frowned as I turned to study his profile. “Were you upset I didn’t invite you over afterward? Did you go out or worse…did you go home and drink alone? Are you a closet drinker?”
“You seem to be talking more, not less,” he commented.
“And you’ve just avoided five or more terribly important questions.”
“I’m not avoiding anything. I just can’t think as fast you can talk. Slow down.”
“Hmph. I didn’t think to ask, but I can’t do what we’re doing if you have substance issues. My father was mean-ass drunk, and I made a serious vow to myself to never get involved with anyone who—”
“Jesus, Geordie. No. I’m not hungover. I went home and watched Lost in Space and then went to bed. I didn’t sleep well. That’s all.”
“Oh.”
“And my ex called.”
“That’s a bother. Or were you happy to hear from him? I can’t recall your feelings in regard to the ex. Are you privately pining?”
Levi snorted. “No. Definitely not pining. I like Kevin. I wish the best for him, and I’d like to think it’s mutual.”
“What did he want?” I asked nonchalantly.
“He knows a chef in the Bay Area who might be interested in the job. A good friend of his, I guess.”
; “It seems his interest was insomnia-inducing. Perhaps it led you back to the bottle?”
“It didn’t. And don’t worry about my alcohol intake, drama queen. I’m not a big drinker and on the rare occasions I actually get drunk, I’m usually dancing on a table one minute and passed out the next.”
“You sound like Nick’s gorgeous friend Grant. He has a close to zero tolerance level for alcohol. One sip of Syrah and he’s sauced.” I picked up my coffee cup and glanced out the window, fixating on the broken yellow line in the middle of the road.
“I’m not quite that bad. I just don’t make a habit of getting drunk.” Levi paused for a moment then continued. “My dad was an alcoholic too. He wasn’t mean, but he wasn’t…present. He faked it well for a while, but it eventually caught up to him.”
“How so?”
“He died of cirrhosis of the liver when I was twenty.”
“I’m sorry.”
Levi tossed a wan smile at me then refocused on the road. “Thanks.”
“Were you close?”
“When I was a kid, I thought so. But looking back I realize we just occupied the same space and played out roles that were expected of us. Father-son games of catch in the backyard, fishing in the lake behind my grandparents’ house. I don’t know if I can give him credit for trying, because he always had his eye on his watch. It’s kind of sad when a kid notices they’re competing for attention with someone or something that isn’t there.”
“Hmm. Did you see him often after your parents divorced?”
“No. A week in the summer and an occasional holiday. My mom remarried, had a kid, and suddenly there was a lot going on. I had a newfound family, a new school and…baseball. Coming to California to hang out at a dirty spoon with a guy who made small talk and stared at his Timex every few minutes did not appeal to my teenage self. In New Mexico, I had cousins, aunts and uncles and grandparents and this rich culture I had no idea was part of my blood.” Levi glanced over briefly and winked. “I’m only a quarter Mexican and there’s some argument that a bigger part of that is actually Spanish but hey…I’m taking it.”
“You must miss your family. Why didn’t you move back to New Mexico after baseball?”
“Because…I didn’t want to be gay there. And I know you’re gonna want to yell at me for saying that but not too loud, please. I’m still waking up,” he pleaded, reaching for his coffee.
“I couldn’t take exception if I wanted to. I moved from LA for the same reason.” I waved my hand as if to erase my words. “Correction. I was kicked out of the house for my gayness, but I opted to remove myself from the City of Angels altogether and start anew.”
“A fresh start is a good thing.”
“True. Although in my case, it was a precautionary measure. My family didn’t care for unicorns.” I made a slash motion across my throat then stared idly out the window.
“I don’t know what that means. Translation, please.”
I scoffed as I yanked my seat belt to give myself room to face him. “They wanted me out, Levi 501. Out. Not out of the closet. Out of the house, the city, the state and if possible, off the fucking planet. They didn’t care for my humor or my looks. I’d grown tiresome and worse yet, I’d become too obvious. I was an embarrassment to the de la Rosas. To my father anyway. He was an awful man and a dastardly drunk.”
“Dastardly?”
“Yes, horrid. I would have preferred a quietly distant loner over a loudmouthed, belligerent, and verbally abusive macho asshole. I steered clear of him when I was a kid. I’m one of six kids, so it wasn’t too hard to stay under the radar. I ruled the roost when he wasn’t around. I’m good at managing things…schedules, money, you name it. And I learned early on that people like to laugh. If you make them laugh, you can get them to cooperate. Not always, naturally, but often enough to make a difference. I made sure the laundry got done, dinner was ready, and that the house wasn’t a mess. He didn’t mind me at first but one day, he did. I have a sneaking suspicion that one of his bar buddies made a joke about me, and he took it as a personal insult. Not on my behalf. On his. Once the seed was sown, it never got better. My mom didn’t stick up for me either, so it was…a hard place for a teenager to be. I left home when I was sixteen and lived with an aunt until I graduated high school. I had more freedom at her house to explore WeHo and get acquainted with gay culture in LA, but I never felt safe. I was too close to home. The second I had my degree, I caught a northbound bus, and here I am.”
“Do you ever go back to LA?”
“For business, not pleasure. We have a few big clients there, so I’m forced to make the occasional sojourn.”
“Did you keep in touch with any of your family?”
“If you’re referring to those who are related by blood, the answer is no. My parents and the aunt who took me in are gone. My brothers and sisters grew up and married and had kids and divorced and had more. I only know that because of social media. I reached out a couple of times but…no one responded. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt every now and then. But c’est la vie. It’s too bad. I would have been a fabulous uncle. I’m great with kids,” I assured him before digging my cell from my bag. “Are you sure I can’t interest you in a Broadway song or two?”
“Just give me a few more minutes,” he replied with a lopsided smile. “Did you ever want kids of your own?”
“Honestly, yes. I always thought I’d make a great mom and dad. I’m patient when I have to be, I’m mostly sane, and I’m a helluva lot of fun. What about you? Did you think you’d be cleaning snotty noses and packing school lunches at this point in life?”
“I never really thought about it, but I think I’d be a good dad too.”
I gasped theatrically. “Darling, we should have children together! Wouldn’t that be marvelous? Imagine it. Sleepless nights, diaper duty, carpools, teaching junior to ride a bike then drive a car. Sounds daunting really, but I’m sure we can conquer the madness.”
“Oh, brother.”
I rolled down the window and yelled, “I’ve found my baby daddy! All is well, world!”
Levi smacked his thigh and guffawed merrily. “You are fucking crazy.”
“So they say.” I rolled up the window and tapped my finger against the glass. “Sadly, parenthood isn’t in my future. If it was as easy for a gay couple to have children as hetero folks, I probably would have had four or more by now.”
“By easy you mean…what exactly?”
“I’m talking about good ol’ fashioned sex, Levi. What else? You and I haven’t done it all but—”
“Do you want to?” he interrupted.
I bit my bottom lip and gave him a wide-ass grin. “Are you asking me if I want to have anal sex with you?”
“Maybe I am.”
“Hmm.” I stared out the window again then nodded. “I want to.”
“Yeah?”
“I’m ready.”
“Good.” He reached across the armrest for my hand then brought it to his lips. We held hands for a minute before he added, “What if you get pregnant?”
I swatted him away then threw back my head and laughed. “I may be crazy, but you’re ridiculous.”
“But you like me. Admit it.”
“I thought we’d established that. If I didn’t, I certainly wouldn’t be traipsing to town on a quest for ambient lighting, and I wouldn’t have shared sordid secrets from my past.”
Levi chuckled good-naturedly. “I love the way you talk when you get flustered.”
“I’m not flustered in the slightest. Why are you staring at me? You need to pay attention to the road.”
“I’m a safe driver. Don’t worry. It’s just…you’re so damn pretty.”
“Thank you.”
I started to make a joke, but nothing came to mind. He was right. I was flustered. And I didn’t know what to make of the sudden swarm of butterflies in my stomach or my accelerated pulse. I didn’t just like Levi. I was infatuated with him. The thought of lying
naked with him or better yet, having him inside me, sent shivers along my spine. Conjuring a vision of Mike might help keep perspective, but that didn’t seem fair to either of them. Overthinking the lighthearted vibe of sharing coffee and conversation and a little flirtation with a handsome man was foolish. The sky was blue, the traffic was light, and my favorite city in the world was coming into view over the horizon. Life was good.
Levi parked his truck in a lot on Folsom near the freeway underpass. He locked up and moved to meet me on the sidewalk, mouthing something as he gestured toward the concrete ribbon above us. I pulled my jacket on and rolled my eyes but decided to play along.
“I’m sorry. What were you saying?” I yelled when he reached my side.
“My ears hurt. Where the fuck are we?” he griped.
“I know it isn’t much to look at, but if you want an original piece for a good value, this is the spot. There are three stores within walking distance on this street and another two a couple of blocks away. We’ll have to drive there if we decide to explore those. This isn’t the best neighborhood, and my karate skills are a tad rusty.”
“You know karate?”
“Past tense is probably more accurate. When you have the build and weight of a spaghetti noodle, you better learn some method of self-defense or—hang on.” I tugged at his arm to stop before we reached the entrance of the industrial-looking warehouse. “This isn’t a big deal, but an old friend of mine owns this store. Since this is a last-minute trip, I didn’t bother letting him know I was coming. Elliot may not be working today but if he is…well, I’ll introduce you.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll keep my hands off your ass.”
“I wasn’t warning you away. I’m simply telling you I know the owner. That’s all.”
“Noted.” Levi held my gaze for a moment then nodded. “So I can touch your ass?”
“You’re a charmer,” I huffed sarcastically. “Shall we?”
An old-fashioned bell announced our arrival when we pushed open the door. The juxtaposition of the archaic chime and the jungle of modern chandeliers above us was jolting. I braced myself for an enthusiastic greeting as our footsteps echoed in the cavernous space. I just hoped there were no tears. I hadn’t seen Elliot since Mike’s funeral. I wish I’d have remembered how panicky the initial post-service meeting made me. Years had passed but this feeling hadn’t gone anywhere. My palms were suddenly sweaty, and I felt vaguely sick to my stomach. Fuck.