Leaning Into Series: The Complete Box Set

by Hayes, Lane

  “A salad. I have the chicken we made last night, tomatoes, avocado, red onion, lentils…”

  “Sounds good. You rinse, I’ll chop,” he suggested.

  “Deal.”

  I had to admit, we worked well together. We recognized each other’s strengths and weaknesses and even learned the art of compromise. Levi finagled our respective iPads to play music we both liked. The Rolling Stones could be followed by a song from Hamilton or My Fair Lady. We’d laugh at the jarring difference in tempo before getting back to whatever it was we’d been doing…cooking or eating or just talking.

  He’d invaded my space in a relatively short amount of time. He knew his way around my house as well as I knew his restaurant. He knew where I kept extra paper goods and which brand of specialty hand soap I preferred. I was the security contact for La Vid. I’d memorized the codes and of course was responsible for the overall look and feel of the California Spanish ambience. Perhaps I should have been wary of how seamlessly interwoven our lives were becoming, but it wasn’t until we talked about age or…until his former lover showed up out of the blue, that I panicked.

  “Since you’re the elder statesman here, I’m sure you’ll agree we should probably discuss what went down earlier,” he said casually.

  I reached for the chopping knife as I turned from the sink. “I’m currently armed and dangerous. You must be one crazy motherfucker.”

  Levi kissed my temple as he slipped the knife from my fingers. “Probably, but I figured it was safe since we just established that a six-year difference is nothing.”

  “So says the man in his thirties. I’m ancient in gay years. I’m a relic. Thankfully, I’m a well-preserved one. Darling, I’m parched. Would you care for a splash of Pinot?” I asked, drying the last of the vegetables with a kitchen towel.

  “I see what you did there.” He situated a stalk of romaine lettuce in front of him and chopped it meticulously. Then he tossed the lettuce into the salad spinner and set it aside before moving to grab two wineglasses and a bottle from the wine refrigerator.

  “What did I do?” I cast a sideways glance his way, admiring his expert wine opening skills.

  “You changed the subject and put a roadblock between us. I’m on to you,” he said, sliding a glass of Pinot toward me before helping himself.

  “No. I told the truth. Ageism exists. And it’s rampant in the gay community. Cheers, darling.” I raised my glass and cocked my head in confusion when he scowled at me.

  “You just did it again. Every time you call me ‘darling,’ you’re pushing me away. After what we just did in that bedroom, I doubt those six measly years have anything to do with it. I know you like me—”

  “Debatable,” I glowered, reaching for the nearest veggie and a knife to keep my hands busy.

  “So what is it? Let me in, Geord. Don’t push me away now.” He kissed my cheek then tapped his glass against mine and sipped his wine. “By the way, you gotta slice that onion a little finer. It’s not a damn apple.”

  “I’m going to throw this at you,” I grumbled without heat.

  “I’ll take my chances.…Well?” he prodded.

  I sighed theatrically then took a sip of wine. “I don’t know how to do this part with you. Telling you how I feel is so—recrementitious.”

  “What the fuck does that mean?”

  “It means excessive, overindulgent.” I waved my hand dismissively before continuing, “I think it has something to do with a bodily function of some sort, so it may not be my finest adjective, but I’m sure you understand.”

  “Understand what? That I need to upload a thesaurus on my phone to know what you’re talking about?”

  “I don’t want to say this. It hurts my stomach actually, and I’m not sure why.” I shrugged and set my glass down. “Your ex is lovely. Not what I expected at all. And he has the unmistakable aura of regret about him. I strongly suspect he’d like a second chance with you and…”

  “And what?” he asked sharply.

  “I’d absolutely hate it, but I wouldn’t stand in your way.” I let out an exaggerated rush of air and smiled. “Phew. Glad that cat’s out of the bag! Chop faster. I’m hungry.”

  Levi caught my wrist before I reached the knife then backed me against the island and pushed his knee between my legs. He smelled clean and delicious. I wanted to lean in and sniff his hair, but he didn’t look quite as relieved as me. He actually seemed…pissed.

  “I’m not interested in a second chance with Kevin. It was fun while it lasted, but we weren’t meant to be more than friends. He has a working relationship with our new chef and if he’s willing to lend any expertise, I think it would be stupid not to listen. I didn’t invite him here, though. I didn’t know Rico called him, but I don’t think it’s a big deal. They invited you to go out tonight too, by the way. There was no setup.”

  “Rico wanted me there, so he wouldn’t be the third-wheel. Those were his exact words. He’s helping your ex stage a reunion. Don’t you see it? And I can’t blame Kevin for trying. You’re a dream come true, Levi. You’re handsome, smart, sexy, and you fuck like a god. Best of all, you have a sense of humor. I adore you, but I don’t know what you want from me or if I can give it to you anyway. It seems cruel to keep you to myself.”

  “But you want to,” he stated.

  However, the question mark was implied. I held his gaze for a long moment then inclined my head. “Yes.”

  Levi caressed my face lovingly and rubbed his thumb over my bottom lip.

  “I want that too, Geordie. Just you and me.” He must have seen a hint of panic in my eyes because he quickly added, “We don’t have to make any announcements. Nothing changes, but now you know I feel the same way.”

  I beamed as I threw my arms around his neck. “You think I’m handsome, smart, sexy, and also fabulous in bed too?”

  Levi chuckled. “Definitely. But you’re the extra version…like a double scoop of ice cream when you think you’re only getting one.”

  “Oh. So I’m a super-size serving?”

  “Yep. You’re a Big Mac, a Whopper, a Venti latte with five shots and all the foam…”

  I laughed then laid my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “I don’t know. Just being you. You’re exactly what I need right now, and I-I learned the hard way that it’s very important to tell people how much they matter to you while you have the chance. So I’m telling you, Levi, my love…you matter to me.”

  He smoothed my hair and kissed my forehead then wrapped his arms around me. I think he spoke. He probably repeated the sentiment and maybe added something silly to make me laugh, but I blocked out sound and concentrated on touch and smell. I loved this. I didn’t expect to, and I wasn’t sure I wanted it, but I was grateful he was here. He was strong and solid, and he smelled like home. A new version of home.

  Chapter 9

  Levi spent the night. It was becoming a thing. There was no rhyme or reason to it, and it wasn’t something we discussed. I loved sharing space with him. He had a way of incorporating himself into places and situations that made it seem like he belonged there. And when he did sleep over, he was a considerate roommate. He picked up his clothes, put his dishes in the dishwasher, and made an effort to replenish staples like coffee and toothpaste. The only potential issue was that he preferred the same side of the bed as me.

  “I can’t believe the sacrifices I make for you,” he’d grumbled last night.

  I adjusted my sleep mask over my forehead then rolled to face him. “I’d offer to trade but ultimately, I don’t think I’d handle the loss of ‘z’ time well. I’d toss and turn and flail about. You’d hate me in the morning.”

  “Hmph. We can trade off when you stay at my place.”

  “That isn’t going to happen.”

  “Why not?”

  “Your apartment is icky.”

  “Icky?” he chuckled.

  “Yes. It’s a dark, claust
rophobic shoebox with a sad view of a parking lot in desperate need of repaving. Whatever possessed you to sign a lease there?”

  “It’s cheap and close to the restaurant, and it’s temporary. You can help me find a new place when my lease is up. And when you sleep over at my new pad, I’ll get my side of the bed back. G’night.”

  I knew he was teasing. The silly grin on his face when he shut his eyes was proof if I needed it. But instead of rolling over and turning off the light, I froze and swallowed the words on the tip of my tongue. He should move in. He should stay forever. Why waste money on an apartment he’d rarely use? But that was too much, too soon. Not only was the connotation of commitment unmistakable, it would be a statement to our friends and relatives. People might think I’d forgotten Mike or that I’d loved him less now that Levi was here and—

  “Stop it.”

  I flinched and refocused on Levi. His eyes were still closed but his brow was furrowed now.

  “Stop what?” I whispered.

  He opened one eye and motioned for me to turn off the light and curl up next to him. I obeyed, scooting back to let him spoon me. He wrapped his arm around me and kissed my neck.

  “Stop torturing yourself. We’re okay, baby.”

  Tears pricked my eyes. I didn’t know if he was right, but I nodded anyway then lowered my mask and fell asleep in my lover’s arms.

  When I awoke a few hours later, I had the bed to myself. I spread out for a moment and listened for the sounds of Levi puttering around the kitchen. The distance between the master and kitchen made it difficult to hear much. After a while, I gave up on the hope of coffee in bed and followed the scent, pulling the tie on my royal-blue silk robe as I turned into the great room. I found him reading an article on his iPad at the breakfast nook adjacent to the island. The sun streamed through the large window behind him. I was about to make an offhand remark about the beautiful weather, but I had bigger topics on my mind this morning.

  “I have a declaration and a request to make, Levi, my love,” I announced as I entered the kitchen with my arms spread wide.

  “I’m gonna need more coffee for that,” he snarked with a lopsided grin.

  “Ha. Ha.” I poured myself a cup of coffee and carried the carafe with me to the small table by the window and topped off his mug. Then I set it down and slid onto the bench seat across from him. “Well? Don’t you want to know what they are?”

  “Declarations and requests…right. I’m all ears.” He pushed a plate of fruit toward me then sipped his coffee.

  “I want to go to my Department of Motor Vehicle appointment alone this afternoon. I’m sure you’re relieved to know your assistance won’t be required. However, can you perchance drop Valentina at the destination…with the pink helmet?”

  Levi didn’t answer right away. His lips quirked at the corners like he was trying to hold back a smile. He lost the battle and gave me a shit-eating Cheshire cat grin instead. “What time is your appointment?”

  “Two o’clock, and why are you smirking?”

  “I’m not smirking. How are you going to get there?”

  “I’ll drive my car, naturally.”

  “Naturally,” he repeated. “I think what you’re saying is…‘can you wait outside for me?’ ’Cause I don’t get the logistics otherwise. Or maybe it’s the opposite and you’re asking me if I’m free this afternoon, so I can hold your hand at the big, bad DMV.”

  “I’m an adult. I don’t need you to go with me. But if you wanted to wait outside, I wouldn’t be opposed.”

  “You know this is for a permit, right? You have to go back for the actual driving test.”

  I curled my lip in distaste and slumped forward, bracing my elbow on the table. “Fuck. That’s right.”

  “You’ll ace the test no problem and then go back for the driving portion. You’ve studied. You’ve got this. Don’t worry.”

  “I hoped to get this over with in one shot. It’s a stupid Vespa, not a Mack truck,” I groused.

  “Still need a license to ride. Come by the restaurant first. They’re installing the booths and some kitchen equipment, and I’m not sure what the timing will be.”

  “Don’t worry. I can go alone. If I’m not going to be able to drive it today, it hardly matters if Valentina escorts me.”

  Levi chuckled then stood and pressed a kiss on my forehead. “Escort you? Maybe it’s not necessary, but she’ll provide inspiration. And I’ll be there for moral support.”

  “Very true. It’s a date.”

  Any trip to a government agency required moral support, in my opinion. If Levi wanted to come, I’d gladly accept his company. Okay, fine. I’d hoped he’d offer. I fucking hated the damn DMV. It was hell on earth. I had the absolute worst luck there. I was a terrific driver but a terrible test taker. My nerves flared at the sight of a multiple-choice scan card. Number two pencils and the letters A, B, C, or D in bubble form made me break out in hives. It reminded me of high school tests and my desperation to pass and get the fuck out of town. But that was years ago. I should have been over any residual angst by now.

  I wasn’t.

  I overpoured, overtalked, and forgot the lyrics to every song I began in my morning sing-alongs. Let’s face it, no one came to Conrad Winery to hear half of a poorly sung rendition of a number from Rent. The wine came first always. The entertainment was a bonus and on an off-day, it was best to shut up and pour. When I couldn’t seem to do that without skimming the brim of nearly every glass, I removed myself from causing a calamity and left the tasting room in Ryan’s capable hands. Then I went home to get ready.

  I had two hours to prepare and a wardrobe filled with chic couture I hadn’t looked at in years. I “shopped” in my own closet and played with colors and textiles until it was time to choose an outfit and go. The results were fabulous, if I did say so myself. I tossed the end of my magenta scarf over my shoulder, dabbed a touch more gloss onto my lips, then grabbed my keys and headed out to my car.

  The crunch of gravel under my heels was oddly empowering. I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the driver’s side window and laughed. Perhaps I’d overdone it, I mused. Nah. No such thing.

  I pulled into the restaurant parking lot ten minutes later. There were a few workers milling near their trucks outside. I waved and greeted them in Spanish as I made my way to the entrance. Their astonished expressions reminded me of the looks I’d get from unsuspecting straight people who’d accidentally wandered into the Castro years ago. I chuckled at the thought and pushed the door open.

  I spotted Levi hovering over a set of plans. The sleeves on this chambray shirt were rolled up and hair fell over his forehead. I couldn’t help admiring his ass in those worn jeans. I licked my lips lecherously before scanning the rest of the space. The booths were in, the lighting had been installed, and the kitchen looked to be up and running. Rico stood with his back to me at the counter. He yelled something at Levi who straightened and then turned to the person beside him.

  Kevin laughed at something Levi said and set his hand over his bicep like he needed the extra support to recover from the hilarity. And all I could think was…What the hell is he doing here again?

  Funny enough, I didn’t blame him for wanting Levi back. Make no mistake, I knew that look. He’d probably arrived in town expecting to find Levi in over his head. No doubt, guilt spurred him to help hire a chef worth a damn but he had to assume Levi’s chances of success were slim, or he would never have left in the first place.

  However, the restaurant was coming along. There was a kickass vision in place with an eclectic vibe and the exclusive seal of approval from the internationally acclaimed winery up the road. The food business was fickle at best, but anyone could tell La Vid had a serious shot at success when it opened next month. Maybe that was why Kevin was still here.

  I stepped inside and cleared my throat. “Hello, gentlemen.”

  “Hey, Geord. Are you ready to—oh. Wow.” Levi’s jaw dropped. Like on the floor.

>   It was rather humorous really. Mouth open, speechless, and eyes bugged out of his skull. Call me crazy, but I loved stopping traffic.

  Levi swallowed hard then gave me a thorough once-over. I lowered my cat-eyed sunglasses, diva style, and grinned as he took in my paisley short blazer, blue leather pants, and my bright pink scarf. He stopped at my knee-high black patent leather lace-up boots and shook his head in wonder. Or disbelief, I thought with a chuckle.

  “I’m ready when you are.” I stepped backward then paused as though I’d just noticed Kevin. I raised my hand and gave him a royal wave. “Why, hello. How perfectly pleasant to see you again, Kevin. Did you decide to extend your excursion?”

  “Um…I—yeah. Just a few hours. I leave this afternoon. We tried a couple of recipes in the new ovens and…it was good. Um, those boots are amazing,” Kevin gushed reverently.

  “Thank you. I won’t keep Mr. Yeager long. Au revoir!” I smiled pleasantly then pivoted on my heels and sashayed to the exit.

  I pushed my sunglasses onto my nose and made a beeline for Valentina. Levi met me outside a minute later, carrying our helmets. He handed me the pink one before fastening his strap and once again letting his gaze travel all over me.

  “You are…bright and very, very tall. I think you might be six foot seven in those boots,” he commented with a smile.

  “Yes, that’s about right. I haven’t worn these in ages. They’ve been idling in the back of my closet for far too long. When I saw them this morning I thought—”

  “These are the perfect boots to wear to the DMV,” he finished.

  I set my hands on my hips and frowned. “Have I gone too far? Don’t tell me I’ve embarrassed you.”

  Levi snorted then straddled the scooter. “Not a chance. Honestly, I wish I had the balls to wear a get-up like that. And if your slick boots help you ace that test, then more power to you. Hop on, queen. We’ve got an appointment to make.”