‘I hate to say I told you so,’ Dan teased her now. ‘But I did. Of course my illustrations of Billy do a lot to help sales,’ he added modestly, frowning over the sketch he was doing of her.
‘Of course,’ she mocked.
He was frowning directly at her now. ‘It’s you that’s all wrong, not my sketch.’
‘I might have known!’ she derided, strolling over to look at the drawing, small and fragile-looking in the fitted black denims and tailored silk blouse, her hair grown into a longer feathered style.
If she really looked anything like the haunted woman in Dan’s sketch then she was more than miserable! Even in the black and white of a pencil drawing Dan had managed to catch the rather hunted look in her eyes, the weary line of her mouth, the tenseness of her body. It was all there on the paper, and she knew she would only have to look in the mirror to see it reflected there too.
She handed the sheet of paper wordlessly back to Dan, thrusting her hands into her denims pockets as she turned away. ‘It’s just that it’s been a year now, over a year, and Joshua still hasn’t come back.’
‘One week and two days over now,’ Dan confirmed that he too had been counting. ‘I hope you aren’t expecting any miracles when he does get back,’ he warned softly.
Joanna flushed. ‘What do you mean?’
He shrugged. ‘I haven’t fooled myself that it’s loyalty to me that hasn’t made you accept more than one date with the same man,’ he drawled.
Through her new career and going out with Dan Joanna had met several men who had asked her out, and while she found most of them pleasant they hadn’t interested her enough to go out with them a second time. None of them had burning grey eyes and a harshly beautiful face, none of them was Joshua.
‘It could have been,’ she told Dan lightly.
‘No,’ he shook his head firmly. ‘I’m not stupid, Joanna, I know you still love your husband. The trouble is, he doesn’t know that, and you aren’t going to tell him, are you?’
‘I don’t even know where he is, Dan,’ she scorned.
She had received only one communication from Joshua the last year, a huge bouquet of red roses on the day her first book was published, the card with them simply saying ‘Congratulations, Joshua’. How he had known the publishing date she didn’t know, and why he should choose to send the roses she daren’t even guess. But the lovely blooms had been very welcome, and at least they had silenced her mother for a few weeks. But as the months passed and there was no further word from him her mother despaired.
Joanna despaired too, but she thought she had hidden it well. Obviously not well enough to fool Dan. That was the trouble with having friends, she had learnt this last year; they usually meant well, but some of their good intentions could turn out to be the opposite. Tina and Patrick had been very well intentioned since Joshua had left, often inviting her over to dinner, but treating her like a grass widow at the same time. In a way perhaps that was what she was, what she had chosen to be, but it was a little disconcerting to be treated that way.
‘You wouldn’t tell him even if you did,’ Dan muttered now. ‘You’re a member of the so-called “elite society”, Mrs Radcliffe,’ he taunted. ‘And words like love and fidelity aren’t bandied about in your exclusive circle.’
She couldn’t help smiling. ‘That’s snobbery in reverse, Mr Cameron,’ she teased.
‘Maybe so,’ he accepted lightly. ‘But it’s the truth.’
‘Tina and Patrick are happy and not afraid to show it,’ she defended, having taken Dan to a party at her friends’ house once. It had been an embarrassing as well as an awkward experience at first, but she had persisted in mixing her old friends with her new ones.
‘Yes,’ Dan acknowledged. ‘But the majority of that crowd wouldn’t know what love is if it hit them on the head. I don’t know how you tolerate them, Joanna.’
She shrugged. ‘They aren’t that bad.’
His expression seemed to say otherwise, but he didn’t say any more. ‘Is the party still on for tomorrow night?’ he asked.
She grimaced, sighing heavily. ‘It’s going to be a waste of time without the guest of honour.’
Dan grinned. ‘That’s what happens when you forget to tell the man in question that you’re giving a party for him!’
‘I really thought he would be back by now,’ she chewed on her bottom lip. ‘It was to be a surprise for him.’ And a way of showing Joshua that she was pleased at his return. Only he hadn’t returned, hadn’t given any indication that he intended doing so. ‘I’m going over to the house now to see if Mrs Barnaby has heard anything from him.’
Dan looked up from his cross-legged position on the floor of her lounge. ‘Is that a hint for me to leave?’
She laughed. ‘How did you guess?’
‘You’re as subtle as a blow from a sledgehammer to the head!’ He stood agilely to his feet. ‘Why don’t you just call the housekeeper?’ He collected up the sketches and his pad that he had been working on this afternoon; the two of them often spent the day working together, sometimes at Dan’s flat, sometimes at Joanna’s.
She shrugged, turning away. ‘It’s more personal to go round. Besides, Joshua might actually be there, and then I—’
‘Can see him for yourself,’ Dan finished dryly. ‘What’s wrong, Joanna, don’t you think he’ll want to see you when he gets back?’
She flushed, chewing on the inside of her mouth, ‘I—I don’t know. He—I—’
‘Hey, I’m sorry, Jo!’ Dan put his arms around her, holding her close into his chest, using his pet name for her. ‘I didn’t mean to pry, your marriage is your affair. I have to be going now anyway, or a tall leggy lady is going to be very disappointed,’ he added with a suggestive leer.
His humour lightened her own tension, as it was designed to do, she felt sure, and she moved laughingly away from him. ‘And we wouldn’t want that, would we?’ she teased.
‘Not on your life!’ he grinned, pulling on his lightweight bomber jacket. ‘I’ll bring Red to the party tomorrow, and then you can tell me what you think of her.’
‘Red?’ she questioned as she walked him to the door.
‘She has glorious red hair right down to her—’
‘Dan!’
He laughed softly, kissing her affectionately on the cheek. ‘Well, she does. Her name is Carmella, by the way. And that’s the only Italian thing about her. At least, I think it is,’ he added wickedly.
‘I’m sure you’ll find out,’ Joanna mocked gently as he left, his grin the only answer he gave her.
Her humour faded as soon as Dan had gone, and a pensive frown darkened her brow. She hadn’t expected Joshua to return to England exactly a year to the day, but he was ten days overdue now, with no sign of his return.
The party at her flat, with their old friends and her new ones, had seemed a good idea at the time, a way, perhaps a gesture, of showing Joshua that her old and new life belonged together, that they belonged together. But Joshua’s failure to appear had robbed the gesture of any meaning. Luckily most of the guests tomorrow would be unaware that the party had been given in his honour, the invitations she had sent out two weeks ago had been merely to a party, as she had decided at the time that the party would either be to show their friends they were reconciled or as a way of cheering her up if Joshua had decided they should divorce. The fact that he wouldn’t have returned by this time hadn’t occurred to her. Perhaps Mrs Barnaby would have heard something today.
‘Nothing, Mrs Radcliffe,’ the housekeeper told her with a sigh. ‘I’ve had the house ready and the freezer stocked for the last month now, but there hasn’t been so much as a telephone call from Mr Radcliffe.’
Joanna smiled through her disappointment. ‘Never mind. He’s probably just been delayed.’
‘Probably.’ The other woman looked quite dejected.
Joanna nodded. ‘I’m just going upstairs for a moment, I—I have to get something from my room.’ She turned towards the s
tairs.
‘You’ll be staying for dinner?’
‘I—’ Her refusal stopped in her throat as she saw the other woman’s hopeful expression. If Mrs Barnaby were the sort of housekeeper who liked to be idle, who didn’t enjoy every minute of running the household for them, the last year would have been wonderful for her. But Mrs Barnaby enjoyed every aspect of running this elegantly furnished house, and the last year had weighed heavily on her hands. ‘That would be lovely, Mrs Barnaby,’ she accepted warmly. ‘One of your lovely apple pies for dessert?’
‘Of course,’ the housekeeper beamed. ‘With fresh cream.’
‘Delicious,’ she smiled.
The housekeeper went back to her kitchen looking happier than she had in a long time. Mrs Barnaby had often tried to get her to stay to dinner in the past when she had called in at the house, and she had always refused until today. Maybe she was just delaying the time she would have to go back to her lonely flat, whatever her reason for accepting it had pleased Mrs Barnaby, and it also meant she wouldn’t have to cook for herself this evening.
Her bedroom was as neat and clean as usual, but it was to Joshua’s room she went. She had visited this room a lot the last year, had often just sat in the easy chair there and drunk in Joshua’s presence, touched the bottles of cologne that stood on his dressing-table. It somehow brought the man himself closer to her.
‘Mrs Radcliffe, I—Oh!’ The housekeeper came to a halt in the open doorway as Joanna gave a guilty start at being caught in Joshua’s bedroom. ‘I—er—I was wondering if you would like a cup of tea or—or anything now?’ Mrs Barnaby looked uncomfortable too.
‘Yes—thank you.’ The two bright wings of colour refused to fade from her cheeks. ‘That would be nice,’ Joanna added lamely.
As soon as the housekeeper had gone downstairs to get the tea she hastily left Joshua’s room. It was bad enough that she should feel the need to moon about her husband’s bedroom like a lovesick idiot, but to be caught doing it…!
How she came to be in Lindy’s bedroom instead she never afterwards knew, but suddenly she was in the little pink and white bedroom, tears streaming down her face as she looked about the room that hadn’t been changed since the day Lindy was taken out of it. Her daughter’s rabbit lay on the made-up bed, the babyish drawings she had done pinned on the walls, the tiny furniture kept highly polished, the quilt on the bed patterned with kittens and puppies, a perfect match for the curtains at the windows.
It was all the way she had instructed it to be kept—and in that moment she knew it had to stop. Lindy was gone, there was no way she was ever going to come back to this pretty bedroom. After two years it was time to pack her things away, to give away what was no longer needed. And it was up to Joanna to do it.
She was sorting through the tiny clothes in the drawers when Mrs Barnaby came up with the tea-tray, and the housekeeper’s gasp of surprise was met with a controlled smile, Joanna’s tears dried now, her expression composed. ‘Just leave the tray on the side.’ She stood up, noticing how the other woman’s hands shook as she put the tray down. ‘I was just—just sorting through these old things,’ Joanna told her lightly. ‘I’m sure a hospital or perhaps a children’s home would like some of the toys, a lot of them are practically new.’
Mrs Barnaby’s mouth trembled emotionally. ‘Oh, Mrs Radcliffe,’ she choked. ‘I don’t—I’ve never—’
‘I know.’ Joanna put a comforting arm about the other woman’s shoulders. ‘We all loved Lindy, didn’t we? But it’s time to let her rest now. Do you have some boxes I could put these things into, something I can pack them away in?’ she asked briskly before emotion threatened to overtake the housekeeper.
Mrs Barnaby controlled herself with an effort, nodding slowly. ‘I’m sure I can find something. But are you sure—’
‘Very,’ she said firmly.
When she left the house three hours later she left with a sense of freedom, a feeling of putting the past well and truly behind her. She and Joshua might have married for their daughter’s sake, but they would stay married for their own. She would fight Angela Hailey for Joshua—if it weren’t already too late…
* * *
The party was going well, most of the guests being unaware that Joshua should have been here.
‘Really, Joanna, did you have to invite that dreadful man?’ Her mother glared across the room at Dan as he flirted with Daphne Shield, the older woman laughing coyly at something he had just said. ‘He even tried to flirt with me earlier!’ she added in a scandalised voice.
‘He asked you to dance, Mother,’ Joanna recalled dryly. ‘That’s hardly flirting.’
‘The way he dances it is!’
She held back her laughter with effort. Dad had met her mother several times before tonight, and their dislike of each other was mutual. Dan took a fiendish delight in shocking her mother, and Joanna felt sure flirting with Daphne was just another way of doing that. He was a devil, and he was enjoying himself immensely, had winked at her mischievously only a couple of minutes ago.
‘Where’s Daddy?’ she changed the subject.
‘Over there somewhere,’ her mother pointed vaguely across the room. ‘Really, Joanna, this flat isn’t big enough for all these people. And the music is much too loud,’ she winced as yet another loud record was put on the stereo. ‘Don’t the neighbours complain?’ she frowned.
Joanna laughed. ‘Not when you invite them!’ There were six other flats in the building, and she had taken care to invite all the occupants, a trick Dan had taught her. Luckily they had all come. ‘Come on, Mother,’ she encouraged lightly. ‘Join in, have fun!’
‘Joanna—’
‘Excuse me, Mother,’ she interrupted as she could see her mother was going to remain stubborn. ‘I think I’d better save Daphne.’
‘Someone had better!’ her mother said with disgust.
Joanna shrugged off her mother’s snobbish bad-humour, no longer so concerned with what her mother thought about anything. She put her hand through the crook of Dan’s arm as she joined him and Daphne, although the older woman didn’t look as if she needed rescuing. It seemed only her mother disapproved of her old and new friends mixing!
‘It’s a lovely party, Joanna,’ Daphne told her.
‘Thank you,’ she smiled.
‘When is Joshua—Why, here he is now!’ Daphne exclaimed excitedly. ‘What a lovely surprise, Joanna. We had no idea Joshua was coming back tonight!’
Neither had she! She was terrified to turn around to the doorway where Daphne was looking so enthusiastically. Joshua was here! But how—
‘That’s your husband?’ Dan breathed softly.
Joanna swallowed hard, knowing she must have gone very white. She could just picture how Joshua would look, tall and attractive, looking every inch the successful man he was in one of those three-piece suits that fitted him so perfectly. No wonder Dan was so surprised—most people were when they realised such a distinguished man was her husband.
‘Joanna.’
She stiffened at the sound of his husky voice behind her, and turned slowly, her eyes widening as she looked at a changed Joshua. No neatly styled short hair but an overlong windswept style that made him appear rakishly younger, and no three-piece suit either but a faded denim shirt that unbuttoned down his chest to reveal the dark hair that grew there, the cuffs turned back casually to the elbows, a pair of faded denims moulded tightly to the lean length of his legs, a pair of tan leather boots on his feet.
He wasn’t the Joshua she remembered, and she could only stare at him wordlessly.
He stared right back at her, the grey eyes probing her own appearance, making her conscious of the length of soft curly fair hair, the weight loss of the last year evident in her face and body, the latter made obvious by the clinging gold pants-suit she wore.
‘Don’t returning husbands get a welcome any more?’
Strangely it was Dan who asked the mocking question, and she knew he was challenging her t
o start doing something about getting her husband back. She gave him a furious glare before turning back to Joshua. Why shouldn’t she welcome her husband home? Angela wasn’t with him, and he was her husband.
‘Darling!’ she greeted huskily, going into his arms, raising herself on tiptoe to put her mouth against his, feeling him stiffen before he dropped the suitcase he was carrying to the floor, his arms going about her as he lifted her off the ground, his lips moving over hers hungrily, while the kiss went on and on.
‘Maybe we should all just leave?’ Dan’s amused voice finally broke the spell, and other guests laughed softly.
Joshua raised his head, slowly lowering Joanna back to the carpeted floor, his arms dropping back to his sides. ‘That won’t be necessary,’ he said smoothly; he was several inches taller than Dan, and he stood looking down at the other man with narrowed eyes. ‘You must be Dan Cameron.’
‘In the flesh,’ Dan grinned, not at all disconcerted by being confronted by Joanna’s husband like this. ‘And I don’t need any explanation as to who you are.’
‘Joanna doesn’t make a habit of kissing strangers at her parties?’ Joshua drawled derisively.
‘Not that I know of,’ Dan answered cheerfully. ‘And Jo’s talked about you a lot.’
‘Indeed?’ Joshua said uninterestedly, turning back to Joanna. ‘If you could show me the way to a bedroom I’ll freshen up and join the party?’ he prompted.
‘I—Of course.’ She had been in a state of shock since Joshua had entered her flat, surprised by his casual appearance, dumbfounded by the way he had responded to her attempt to kiss him. It had been just as if the last year had never happened, as if this were the day after they had made love so completely and Joshua was just returning home from work. ‘Would you like to come this way?’ she invited, automatically taking him to the spare bedroom, blushing as she realised she had done so. Well, she could hardly take him to her room, not until they had discussed what they were going to do!
The Failed Marriage (Presents Plus) Page 10