Love Is Oxygen

by Jarrid Wilson

  Rick Warren once said that “fear is a self-imposed prison that will keep you from becoming what God intends for you to be. You must move against it with the weapons of faith and love.”[5] And the most scared I’ve ever been in my life was on a roller coaster. I mean it! When I was serving as the next-gen pastor for a church, my wife and I led a trip to one of the biggest theme parks in the country. We took a total of three hundred teenagers, and I—the person who hates theme parks and roller coasters more than anything else in the world—had to chaperone the students on each and every ride. I assumed this would be the death of me.

  Let me be really honest for a second. When I say I don’t like roller coasters, I mean I really don’t like roller coasters. I’m fine with sitting in a swing or in a log that gently slides into water or in colorful teacups that spin around. But a box that sits on a wooden or metal track and reaches speeds of more than fifty miles an hour? No, thanks. I’m done. (Don’t even get me started on the ones where your feet dangle in the air like spaghetti noodles. I don’t play those games.) I like my life, and I was created to walk on the ground. If I were supposed to fly at the speed of a small aircraft, God would have given me wings and a jetpack.

  But . . . I couldn’t let these kids who I was technically pastoring think I was a total loser for not joining them on the rides. Did I mention that this was my first week as their pastor? I couldn’t be the guy who just waited for them at the exit. Nobody would respect that guy. I had to face my fears head-on and pray that God would keep me from screaming like a little kid in front of the teens to whom I had literally just preached a message about having faith in the midst of fears. (I’m sure God was laughing at me.)

  The first few rides the kids chose were a piece of cake. Nothing I couldn’t handle. Maybe I would actually get lucky and make it through the day without having to face my fears. But just as I assumed I was in the clear, I heard a student say five terrifying words: “Let’s go on that one.” He was pointing to something that looked as high as the sun. The teens screamed in excitement, while my heart rate began to speed up and my palms began to sweat. As I watched, a group of people on the ride passed by us, their feet dangling and flailing around as they hit loop after loop.

  My wife gave me a smile that said, Ha! She knew I had no way of getting out of this one. “Okay,” I said. “Let’s do it!”

  The next twenty minutes in line were the longest twenty minutes of my life. Fear had taken over. I was a little shaky in the knees, which wasn’t helped by the Coca-Cola I downed every time the line stopped moving. (I was stress drinking. Don’t judge.) The thunderous sound of the coaster echoed through the theme park, and the screams of grown men and women were painful to my ears.

  We finally made our way to the front of the line. When people who went before us stepped out of their seats, the world seemed to stop. It was just me and that stupid roller coaster, facing off against each other. Just imagine the Israelites shuddering as Goliath taunted them from the other side of the valley. (I wasn’t Goliath.) I had to muster up every ounce of courage I had just to take a step forward and buckle myself into that death trap.

  Silly as it may sound, I prayed to God that I’d be safe. I’d heard crazy stories about roller coasters coming off their tracks, and I didn’t want to be one of those rare statistics. But if I was going to die on this roller coaster, at least I knew where I’d end up. So that gave me a little comfort. Desperate times call for desperate measures, my friends. I was conquering one of my biggest fears. And whatever we may face, no matter how silly the fear may seem, the love of God meets us in our time of need. Because the reality is, sometimes life feels a lot like a roller coaster.

  We shot off at what seemed like the speed of a small rocket, made a quick left turn, and then went straight up into a loop. I gripped the shoulder straps as hard as I could and tried to make sure I took normal breaths so I didn’t pass out. As we hit the second loop and began to fly over the theme park, something within me changed. My screams of fear slowly turned into screams of excitement. When we got to one of the highest points of the ride, I could see for miles and miles. The view was beautiful. And I wouldn’t have been able to see it if I had let my fear get in the way. All these years I had been afraid of roller coasters, but I had never actually taken the opportunity to experience one.

  I believe our fears and roller coasters have a lot in common, particularly when God’s love is part of it. What starts as ups, downs, and uncertainty is quickly overcome by excitement, contentment, and joy. Why? Because when we step out in faith, our fear is gone. Having the courage to lean into the fear helps us conquer it. When God’s perfect love is part of our lives, our fears have no place to reside and we can enjoy the beautiful view. The Bible doesn’t say that fear won’t ever exist, but it does say that it has no place in telling us how we should live. Fear is no match for God’s perfect love. Fear is no match for God.

  Perfect Love

  What’s keeping you from being brave? What’s keeping you from chasing your dreams and becoming the person God has called you to be?

  My insecurities and doubts constantly distract me from the truth that God gives me. But again and again I’m reminded that the Bible tells us that perfect love casts out all fear: the fear of the unknown and the fear of what lies ahead. As we learn to embrace the love of God, we gain the courage to step out in faith and embrace the wondrous journey of the Christian life. This might sound easier said than done. But I believe that with practice and experience, we can all come to the realization that stepping out in faith toward the will of God always brings us closer to him—and closer to conquering our fears.

  Maybe you have a fear of relationships, of failure, of the opinions of others, of starting your own company, of getting married, of having kids, of traveling to the other side of the world. Maybe you fear something that doesn’t feel rational, such as heights, spiders, or the dark. Maybe you’ve gone through something traumatic, and paralyzing fear has a grip on your life. Our fears occupy a vast spectrum, from silly to serious, mild to severe, temporary to long-term.

  It’s a good thing we don’t have to let fear control the way we live our lives.

  Yep, you read that right. Your fear doesn’t have to define you. It doesn’t have to be permanent. It doesn’t have to control you. It doesn’t even have a right to exist in your life when Jesus is there with you. Now, I’m not saying I have it all figured out—trust me, I’m still working through my own fears, just as you are. The fear of what others think about me, the fear of failure, and the fear of not being good enough. But each and every moment I spend with God, a small piece of those fears is chipped away.

  In 1 John 4:18, we learn that “there is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love” (NIV). All things can be conquered with the love of God. How do we know this? Because the beautiful words of Scripture state it to be true. It’s that simple. When we go through life in the power of the love of God, discomfort, fear, and opposition will be matched with God’s power and favor. This love is a conqueror, and it will fight for you.

  He’s Already Been There

  Fear can paralyze even the bravest and strongest of individuals. Fear causes you to sometimes doubt yourself and the opportunities that may come your way, to second-guess your capabilities, and to fall silent when you know that you should be speaking up. We all deal with fear, but the way we respond to it can drastically change how it affects us.

  Alexander Maclaren said this about the fear John wrote about in 1 John 4:18:

  John has been speaking of boldness, and that naturally suggests its opposite—fear. . . . Perfect love produces courage in the day of judgment, because it produces likeness to Christ, who is the Judge. In my text he explains and enlarges that statement. For there is another way in which love produces boldness, and that is by its casting out fear. These two are mutually exclusive. The entrance of the one is for the other a notice to quit.
We cannot both love and fear the same person or thing, and where love comes in, the darker form slips out at the door; and where Love comes in, it brings hand in hand with itself Courage with her radiant face. But boldness is the companion of love, only when love is perfect. For, inconsistent as the two emotions are, love, in its earlier stages and lower degrees, is often perturbed and dashed by apprehension and dread.

  Now John is speaking about the two emotions in themselves, irrespective, so far as his language goes, of the objects to which they are directed. What he is saying is true about love and fear, whatever or whosoever may be loved or dreaded. But the context suggests the application in his mind, for it is “boldness before him” about which he has been speaking; and so it is love and fear directed towards God which are meant in my text. The experience of hosts of professing Christians is only too forcible a comment upon the possibility of a partial Love lodging in the heart side by side with a fellow-lodger, Fear, whom it ought to have expelled.[6]

  Time and time again in the Bible, we see people facing fear that wants to keep them from pursuing what God has called them to: Joshua battling the Amorites (see Joshua 10:12), Moses looking out over the Red Sea (see Exodus 14:21), and Noah being told to build the ark (see Genesis 5–10). These individuals could have let fear overcome them, but their love for God pushed them to trust. And God in turn took care of them in the face of fear. The sun stood still; the waters parted; Noah’s family was saved. God was there, guiding them every step of the way, even if the steps weren’t made clear in the moment. We fear because we’re human, but we choose to dwell in God’s love because we are his children.

  We must understand that God’s support and assistance in the face of fear are still available and true today. God isn’t just watching you or standing next to you in this journey called life—he’s leading the front lines.

  “Do not be afraid or discouraged,” Deuteronomy 31:8 tells us, “for the LORD will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” This powerful truth is both assuring and comforting: God will go ahead of us, God will be with us, God will not abandon us. We have no need to worry about the present or future because God, who is outside of time itself, has already been where we are going. He’s all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-forgiving. God knows what will take place in our lives, and we can rely on his love in times of fear and trouble.

  When we put our lives in God’s hands, we can rest, knowing that he has everything under his control. Now, this doesn’t mean that fear will be absent from our thoughts or that we are no longer allowed to fear. Rather, fear no longer needs to control the way we live, dream, speak, and act, because fear sits under the colossal majesty of God.

  Sarah’s Story

  When I think about love conquering fear, I’m reminded of a girl named Sarah.

  I used to be the manager of a small Christian bookstore in Orange County, California. The store was unlike any other retail space I’ve seen since; it bridged the gap between faith and culture in such a beautiful way. People from all different walks of life came through its doors—ex-convicts, pastors, teenagers, tourists, college students, missionaries, political leaders, gay and lesbian couples, grandparents, professional athletes, military service members, drug addicts. You’d be surprised by how many people with no religious background would find their way inside the store, simply out of curiosity. Well . . . I’d call it the Holy Spirit.

  Some people were looking for books, others for clothing or music. We had everything, and all of it pointed back to our faith in God. We were encouraged to pray with every customer who walked through our doors, and we were even directed to lead people to Christ if they wanted to know more, regardless of what the register lines looked like. That little store helped truly shape my relationship with God and the way I view what it means to be the church. I learned how to manage people, talk to people, and listen to people in a way I had never experienced before. Some of the employees are now worship leaders, full-time missionaries, or even pastors. The culture of that store helped all of us understand how to work hard and exude a life of love regardless of where we ended up.

  It was at this little store that I met Sarah. One Friday night near closing time, just as one of the employees and I were about to close the gate and begin counting out our registers, I saw a young girl and a woman who I assumed was her mom staring inside the store, looking excited. I’d be lying if I said I wanted them to come in. I was tired and ready to head home for the night. Boy, am I glad that God contradicted my expectations.

  “This store is amazing!” Sarah said, laughing. “California has so much Jesus in it!”

  “How can I help you today?” I asked them. Both began to explain how excited they were to see a store like this in a mall, and Sarah told me how much she loved attending youth group while visiting her aunt for the month. A little confused, I asked Sarah where she was from.

  She began to explain that she was visiting her aunt in California while stuff at home settled down a bit. When I asked her to explain what she meant, the floodgates opened. Her eyes started to well up, and her shoulders sank. Her aunt then stepped in. “Sarah hasn’t had the best high school experience,” she said.

  Sarah’s aunt explained that Sarah’s family lives in a small town of about four hundred people in the Midwest. Her family is one of only a few Christian families in their town, and because of her faith, Sarah has been picked on at school more times than she’d like to admit. Someone spray-painted “666” on the side of Sarah’s house; many times when she was praying over her lunch, girls threw gum in her hair; and she had even been stabbed with a pencil in the locker room.

  This was just a small fraction of the bullying she had experienced over the years. When Sarah’s family tried to address the situation with her teachers and the local authorities, they got a response that nobody would have expected: “If you don’t like living here, then leave. We can’t prove that anything you said is true. They’re just kids.”

  As Sarah and her aunt told me this story, I was speechless. My eyes were opened to the harsh reality of what some people face, even in the United States, for their faith in Jesus. I mean, we hear about persecution all around the world, but rarely do we hear of physical attacks against Christians in this country.

  As I listened to Sarah’s story, part of me was sad, while another part of me was angry. I wanted nothing more than to pick up all my things and go teach some high school kids a lesson, though that would probably not have been the smartest of decisions. Maybe you could move in with your aunt and live here in California. But when I suggested this to Sarah and her aunt, they both shook their heads. I’ve held Sarah’s response close to my heart ever since. She wiped away the tears from her eyes, looked at me with assurance, and said, “I can’t leave because I believe God has me there to change my town.”

  Silence.

  I could not believe the words that had just come out of this fourteen-year-old’s mouth. She said it with such confidence—a God-fearing boldness that I could hear in her voice. It took me by surprise, and it was the last thing I had expected her to say. It reminded me of something Eugene Peterson wrote:

  The only opportunity you will ever have to live by faith is in the circumstances you are provided this very day: this house you live in, this family you find yourself in, this job you have been given, the weather conditions that prevail at this moment.[7]

  We have opportunities each and every day to live out the love of God, even when fear might push us to do otherwise. Sometimes that just means staying where we are and radically loving those who are around us. Sarah had every reason to leave her small town, but that also gave her even more of a reason to stay. Loving in the face of fear sometimes means staying when it’s easier to leave, relying on Christ to keep you grounded and secure.

  I think we can learn a lot from my friend Sarah. Despite living in a situation in which most people would be afraid for their safety, she continues to put God first, allowing
his love to fuel her and also longing to see her minuscule town be changed by Jesus.

  Would I have had the same courage if I had been Sarah? Courageously loving God and loving others despite fear and persecution is what it looks like to truly live for God. That’s true faith. That’s what it means to be a devoted disciple of Jesus. If Christians were to stop pursuing the love of God every time fear came into the picture, we’d get nowhere. Fear must be met face-to-face, all in the name of Jesus. Because true love is always going to overcome fear.

  Over the last few years of my life, I’ve spent quite a bit of time outside the country, speaking, hosting events, and writing through my experiences with different organizations. But a recent trip to Nicaragua completely changed my perspective on what it means for God’s love to transcend the circumstances of our lives.

  When I was invited by a nonprofit here in the United States to go on a trip to Nicaragua, I quickly cleared my schedule and prepared myself for the adventure that I knew was to come. I’ve always loved visiting new places, and my wife and I have made it a point to never turn down new experiences in new settings, regardless of how out of place we might feel. On this trip to Nicaragua, I’d be spending almost two weeks visiting orphanages, working on service projects, and learning more about the needs of the country.

  After our plane landed, our group of about twelve was escorted through customs, and then we gathered our things and made our way to a few small vans that were waiting for us. We were from all different walks of life: pastors, authors, bloggers, conference overseers, and even business owners. And we all had one thing in common: a heart for people in need and a vibrant love for God.