Love Is Oxygen

by Jarrid Wilson

  But what does adding fuel to the fire of your faith really look like? Well, the best way I can think of putting it is that the relationship you have with God should be like a flourishing and vibrant marriage. Your relationship with God is single-handedly the most important relationship you will ever find yourself in. You should take it very seriously, and you can’t afford to drift away. You must do everything you can to make sure your relationship with God stays healthy, fiery, and passionate. Because if not, your relationship with God will just become a statistic—you’ll just be another Christian going through life with no real purpose or meaning. But keeping the fire going is easier than you may think.

  In January of 2014, I wrote a blog post titled “I’m Dating Someone Even Though I’m Married.”[10] Yes, the title may have seemed a bit crazy. But it was the best way I could think of to stress the conviction I felt to pursue my wife as I did when we were dating. I wanted to regain and deepen that spark, passion, and desire. I wanted to go back to that feeling of butterflies in my stomach, the nervousness that made my palms sweat. I had unintentionally lost it. The reason for writing the post was hard for me to admit, but it was something I needed to say—and something that a lot of couples needed to hear.

  My wife and I realized that the daily routine of marriage can set in pretty quickly, and if you’re not careful, that exciting and new relationship can accidentally get put on the back burner, while work and other things are made more of a priority. That’s where I was. And it wasn’t at all on purpose. Nobody sets out to do this when he or she gets married. My way of showing my wife I loved her had become working hard and providing for her financially. Those are both really good things. But I’d become so focused on them that I’d stopped pursuing her heart in the ways she desired. I stopped doing all the awesome things I once did when we were dating and engaged. The things that showed her I was willing to go out of my way to express my love for her. She yearned for me to pursue her, because it showed her that I was still interested in who she was, even though we were already married. That I was choosing her over and over again despite the fact that we already had rings on our fingers. I quickly realized how important it is to constantly invest in my relationship with my wife, regardless of how long we’ve been together. That I can’t just rely on the actions and words and intimacy of yesterday to fulfill what needs to be done today. The pursuit should never end.

  That seems like a pretty obvious statement, but you’d be surprised how many couples needed to confront this truth head-on as much as I did.

  What I said struck a chord. Millions of people read the post and really resonated with the idea of relentlessly pursuing their spouse. In fact, the post gained so much exposure that it was featured on numerous news stations and media outlets, and Juli and I were even flown in as guests for Steve Harvey’s daytime TV show. It was a pretty surreal experience. I think the words resonated with so many because deep down we all want to be loved and pursued.

  The idea of pursuing your spouse should be in the forefront of your mind. Why? Because you’ll never learn enough about the person you are with. There is always more to learn, more to experience, and more to adventure with each other.

  And the same is true for a relationship with God. See where I’m going with this? The similarities are quite extraordinary. We must live in constant pursuit of our God, constantly longing to know and love him more, so that we may then fuel our own lives with his love, truly loving him and loving others. It comes full circle.

  God relentlessly pursues you every day, and he deserves the same in return. Pursuing God’s love isn’t a “have to”; it’s a “get to.” It’s an undeserved blessing. Discovering the wonder of God’s love isn’t a onetime affair but instead a daily process. And the daily pursuit of God can come in many shapes and forms. Prayer, worship, servanthood, and studying God’s Word are all ways to pursue God’s heart and find rest in his love. Doing these things in selflessness and humility is the key to engaging in a fruitful relationship with Christ. All of God’s most influential and righteous followers were those who relentlessly pursued him. Yes, they may have all had some hiccups along the way, but the pursuit nonetheless defined their lives. Only the man or woman who chases after God will come to actually know him and dwell with him and not just be a spectator.

  God deserves our relentless pursuit: a pursuit that jumps hurdles and goes above and beyond. We must live in a posture of yearning for the love and righteousness of God as if it were the first time we’d ever taken notice of it. The fire that is our relationship with God must be fueled daily and kept roaring so that no matter what obstacles we face in life, God’s love will propel us forward.

  A strong relationship, no matter who it’s with, cannot exist without quality time, communication, humility, honesty, and transparency. My relationship with my wife won’t last unless she and I continue to pursue each other. Just look at how many marriages in today’s world end up in divorce, all because individuals claim that their relationship just fizzled out. Or that the spark just isn’t there anymore. Or that they love each other but just aren’t “in love” with each other anymore. This happens because the husband and wife stop pursuing each other, stop putting the other person first, and stop living a life dedicated to knowing the other person more than the day before. Your relationships give what you put into them. And our relationship with God is really no different. Every day we must allow room for God’s will to take center stage and our selfish desires to take a back seat. That’s the only way it will work.

  Clinging to Jesus fuels the Christian life. It keeps the fire burning. There is no substitute. No replacement. No generic alternative. We aren’t destined to make a life for ourselves through ourselves, but instead through the love of Jesus. Jesus alone is the reason we live and breathe. He alone is the reason we are allowed to experience all the vast wonders this world has to offer. Everything we do in life is derived from the power and majesty of his love.

  Everything we do should be to glorify God, to be awakened and fully alive through Jesus Christ: “When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins” (Colossians 2:13, NIV).

  In his letter to the Colossians, Paul didn’t just say that we were “empty” or living meaningless lives. If only that were the case. What he actually said is that we were dead, that we don’t have anything figured out or put together. Now for the good news: God made us “alive with Christ.” He took something totally lifeless—me, you—and made it alive. I don’t know about you, but that makes me excited! That’s the kind of truth that can change lives—change entire cultures. At the heart of this fire: Jesus. The love you receive from God isn’t dependent on how good of a person you are. Prayer, worship, and obtaining knowledge don’t earn us the love of God—these things put us in the posture to receive the love he so desperately wants to give us. He craves opportunities to bless us. You’re already loved beyond measure. Accept it, embrace it, and let it fuel your life to the fullest extent. You will never regret doing so.

  I remember being confused the first time I heard this. Mostly because I was perplexed that God didn’t want anything from me before I could obtain his love for me. It was already there, and that blew me away. To think that the creator of the universe already loves us despite what we do or don’t do, say or don’t say, pray or don’t pray. That truth showed me how gracious and compassionate he really is. It’s a love that has no bounds.

  One of the first books I ever read as a believer was The Pursuit of God by A. W. Tozer. Something he said still shakes my soul today: “To have found God and still to pursue Him is a paradox of love.”[11] The idea of finding God and choosing to pursue him may sound silly or like a waste of time, but it’s actually the truest example of showing your love for God. It’s like the world’s greatest game of hide-and-seek. We should continue to chase him as if we’ve never found him.

  For much of my past, I did the opposite of this. I constan
tly found myself trying to do things in my own strength, pursuing myself and my desires instead of pursuing God. And I was so lonely. The act of pursuing God is the act of pursuing love itself. And an active relationship with God is the only remedy for your soul’s longing for connection and purpose. Trust me when I say that it’s the only thing that can truly bring you fulfillment in life. The world around you will constantly try to trick you into believing that other things out there can fuel your soul and give you the life you truly desire. But nothing else can. Nothing else will ever be able to. Only in chasing after the things of God can you discover your true self. The pursuit will refine you, mold you, and help shape you into the person God has called you to be. Like a rock that falls into a creek bed, you will eventually find your jagged edges made smooth.

  Now, maybe for you, the thought of reading a Bible or even praying makes you cringe. Or maybe you’ve believed in God for as long as you can remember, but the wondrous life of a Christ follower is still not what it’s cracked up to be. Jesus, Christianity, and the Bible are nothing more than a part of your daily routine, one that doesn’t fuel the way you live or the person you are becoming. I get it. I used to be that person. I used to think Christianity was boring, a hands-down waste of time. When I was younger, I was never a fan of going to church or getting dropped off at yet another youth-group event. It all seemed to be pointless and irrelevant. But then I actually experienced Jesus for who he really is and not who I assumed him to be. I dropped my pride and finally let God in. This didn’t happen overnight, but with persistence and humility my relationship with God truly started to grow and my edges began to smooth out. My eyes have finally been opened to the presence of God, and my life is now fueled by his glorious love.

  If you think Christianity is boring, then you haven’t met Jesus. When you truly encounter the consuming love of Jesus, your life is anything but mundane and stale. The love and power of Jesus are too marvelous to walk away from once you taste them. Worship is exhilarating, reading the Bible is fascinating, and prayer is a conversation with God that you can’t seem to stay away from. The Bible says that we are sanctified (set apart) by the blood of Christ, and we must realize that we cannot truly digest this truth and not find the eternal joy that comes along with it.

  The Bible paints a very clear picture of what happens when someone belongs to Christ and has discovered the wonder of God’s love. The old fades away and a new life begins. Only through Jesus can we truly come alive in the life and the community we were created for. Life in Christ encompasses the totality of Christ himself, which characteristically is anything but monotonous and mind-numbing.

  Because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

  EPHESIANS 2:4-10, NIV

  A life in Christ brings purpose, restoration, grace, and eternal identity. It fuels us beyond imagination. The adventure that awaits a follower of Jesus is one this world simply cannot come close to matching. Every day is a new experience, a new facet of God’s glory, and another opportunity to deepen your personal relationship with the Creator. There’s always room for growth, which means there’s always room for adventure. And the adventure of living in God’s love means taking the fire we’ve been given and setting it free.

  Pass the Torch

  You might be wondering, Okay, so how do I love God? What does that even mean? Do I sit around thinking good, “loving” thoughts about him? Or do I love him through actions? How does it work? Jesus gives us a very clear answer. In Matthew 25, he tells the people gathered around him that one day he will come back and say to those who fed the hungry, showed hospitality to the stranger, clothed the naked, cared for the sick, and visited the imprisoned: “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me” (verse 40, NIV). The gospel of Jesus is complex and full of layers, but the application we are to follow is nothing more than basic direction: Love God, love people. Or as Dwight L. Moody framed it,

  If we have got the true love of God shed abroad in our hearts we will show it in our lives. We will not have to go up and down the earth proclaiming it. We will show it in everything we say or do.[12]

  By loving others in the most simple and hands-on ways, we also love God. We are bringing glory to his name, glory to the Cross, and glory to his Son, Jesus. We fuel the fire even more. Loving him isn’t an abstract exercise of the mind. It’s an action that takes place through our relationships and interactions with other people—it’s taking the fire to others.

  I think of it a little bit like a wildfire. It’s not a perfect analogy—wildfires, after all, can be scary and destructive—but wildfires can also have an incredible purpose: They burn up what’s dead in a forest and make way for new life that wouldn’t yet be able to flourish. My uncle is a firefighter who spent most of his early career working with a team that fights California forest fires. He’d be the first to tell you that wildfires, especially ones with the wind to their backs, are unrelenting. They have the power to climb hills and jump across interstates. And the more fuel a fire has, the wilder it gets, the faster it moves, and the larger of an area it will affect and consume. The same is true about our relationships with God and our effectiveness as Christians.

  Loving others by extending the love of God through our actions, words, and everyday lives is not only contagious but also brings life to those giving and those on the receiving end. It lifts them up to new heights. God’s love is like a wildfire—expansive, consuming, and reckless. And with the Holy Spirit to our backs, unstoppable. God created his people in his image so that they could love, help those in need, and expand the great commission to all nations, as we see in the New Testament. Our calling as Christians is to love those we come into contact with, share the message of Jesus, and worship with all that we are, no matter the circumstance. It’s not always easy, but remember this: We were created to love. It’s our purpose in life. To love others, making much of Jesus’ name. And with Jesus, it’s possible. As minister Samuel Chadwick said,

  Spirit-filled souls are ablaze for God. They love with a love that glows. They believe with a faith that kindles. They serve with a devotion that consumes. They hate sin with a fierceness that burns. They rejoice with a joy that radiates. Love is perfected in the Fire of God.[13]

  This fire is all-consuming—everything near it gets drawn in. When we’re close to this fire—when we open ourselves up to learning about Jesus—we can’t help but be pulled into it and want others to feel its warm embrace. We love because he loved us first. We forgive because he forgave us first. We serve others because Jesus served us first. Our love is because of God. Our servanthood is because of God. Our being is because of God. When we model ourselves after this truth, we allow God’s love to spark the power into our lives that keeps us moving forward. Jesus, and only Jesus, can provide us with the fuel we need to love others well. When we truly encounter Jesus, we will never be without that fuel.

  The reality of God’s love for you may be something you’ve heard countless times. But don’t miss this: Reflecting on his love and what it’s done for us is such an important foundation for our spiritual lives. As we learn to truly breathe in God’s love, we are equipped and motivated to show that love to others. Because what good is acquiring this love for ourselves if we’re not going to share it? God’s love isn’t selfish; it begs to be breathed out to others.

  We all need to wrestle with what we should do with this immense love we’ve
been given. It may look different for you than for me, but our call to breathe out remains the same. If we’re supposed to be following Jesus and living like him, and Jesus showed radical love to everyone he came across no matter what, then what would it look like for us to love like Jesus? His love goes out of its way to be shown, known, and given.

  God’s Word talks a lot about love, but there’s one passage that paints the most vivid picture of what God’s love looks like in our lives and what it should look like as we take it to others: 1 Corinthians 13. And this passage starts out with a pretty strong statement about the importance of a life defined by love: “If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal” (verse 1).

  I’m no stranger to 1 Corinthians 13, but one time when I read it, the word cymbal stood out to me in a way it never had before. Dwelling on this word gave me insight into how life looks when we don’t equip our words and actions with love.

  A short time later, I found myself delivering a message on this passage. It was during an election season, a time when malicious attacks and finger-pointing seemed to run rampant not only among the candidates but also among everyday people. The timing, I thought, was no coincidence. The middle of strife is the best time to talk about love.

  I started my message by explaining the reality of God’s love for our lives—how God himself is love and how our duty as Christians is to show love to the world. At this point, everybody was still nodding in agreement. But the moment I started asking people to evaluate their lives to see if they were following through by truly loving those around them, everyone’s demeanor began to change. I was the first to admit that I don’t always reflect God’s love. I didn’t want anyone to think I had it all together. Because I didn’t. And I don’t.