Through the Lens

by K. K. Allen

  His long lashes flip up, and his eyes catch mine over my shoulder. Those serious eyes have a devilish gleam, telling me he’s just as ready to break down all the barricades we’ve built between us. Then he moves in, slowly at first, before quickening for the kill just as his lips approach mine. They’re just hovering there, making me wait, making me wonder. I can feel the ache between my legs and the heating of my core that follows.

  The slow and sweet lyrics fill the space around us, lifting us above my already foggy state, high above the clouds, until I’m merely floating in dangerous proximity to the rain shower sure to drown us both. But I don’t care, not when his breath hits mine in one final warning, like a crack of thunder before the sky lights up the night. The lightning is certain to be pretty, but I’m ready to risk the aftermath just for tonight.

  My back is still to him as I close the gap to reach his lips, and I linger there for just a moment. All my questions about the way they feel against mine are answered in a mere instant. They’re thick, just like his hands. They’re soft and slick too—slick because he just wet them on my skin—skin that still burns from his touch.

  But Desmond doesn’t allow me another second to memorize his mouth. He’s pressing his lips around mine, molding them firmly with his. One hand continues to search my stomach while the other one grips my waist and pulls me around so I’m facing him again. His hand moves to my back, and he bends me slightly while deepening our kiss.

  My hands circle his waist just as his tongue dips into the small space he created with his mouth. I’ve never thought a man’s tongue was erotic until this moment, but here Desmond’s is, tangling with mine, forcing me to clench my thighs to hold in the incomprehensible ache. When my tongue swipes back at his, his groan is deep and guttural. He grips the back of my thighs and lifts me over his hips. My arms loop around his neck, and my legs wrap firmly around his waist until I’m practically towering over him in height.

  The weight of the world lifts, and all I’m aware of is Desmond—his lips on mine, his grip on me, and his throaty groan as my mouth parts wider just for him.

  I don’t even notice the ending notes of the song ringing out into the crowd until a voice booms through the speakers. “Now that’s the effect I want my songs to have.”

  Something about the singer’s words cause me to freeze in midkiss, and Desmond does too. I pull back from him, my wide eyes searching his. “Please tell me he’s not talking to us.”

  Just then, the crowd breaks into cheers and applause, and Desmond leans to the side to see the stage. His face says it all, and I cringe internally before he confirms my worst fears. “I’m afraid he is.”

  I look over my shoulder, immediately blinded by a spotlight. “Oh shit.” I flip my head back. “You should probably put me down now.”

  Deep disappointment flashes in his eyes, but he nods and helps me unravel my legs from his waist before setting me down. I flip back around just as everyone’s attention returns to the singer and his next song. “This one is for the two lovebirds in the back row.”

  I’m mortified. My face roasts with the singer’s words. A piano tune starts, accompanied by Matt’s voice. The song has a retro video game vibe, and I immediately recognize it as “Kill the Lights.”

  I don’t stop Desmond from wrapping his arms around my waist again. It almost feels like a small shield for the embarrassment that just fell upon us a moment ago. He’s shaking behind me with laughter before leaning into my ear. “Look at that, Mags. Guess we have a song.”

  My entire body heats at his words because I know he’s right. Lord knows I’ll never be able to hear this song again without thinking about that kiss.

  I look over my shoulder to find his hooded eyes on me. “Wanna get out of here?” His tone drips of sex and hope.

  Without thinking about my answer for a single second, I nod.

  24

  Backseat Memories

  Maggie

  “Come,” a raspy voice says in my ear.

  I freeze for a second, my brain and feet having a hard time connecting. Then I feel a tug on my hand, followed by Desmond’s body moving away from me. He’s leading me toward the exit, and I go along with him, my heart pounding fiercely in my chest. My hand rests firmly in his as he pulls me out the front door and down the street. Then we find his car in the crowded parking lot.

  He opens the sleek red door, leans down, folds up the front seat, and stands. “Well,” he says with a grin, gesturing to the back seat with a pointed look in its direction. “What are you waiting for?”

  When I don’t move, he slips into the back seat first and then reaches out for my hand. “I’m not ready for tonight to be over. Are you?”

  I shake my head, trying desperately to breathe normally around my speeding pulse. “No.” I fit my palm into his and feel a tug when he pulls me into the back seat. I fall into him and laugh. “Are you crazy?”

  He winks and reaches over me to close and lock the car door. “Just a little bit.” Then he pulls me onto his lap so I’m straddling him. He doesn’t make a move to kiss me, but his hands are running up my thighs with a firm grip while his tongue darts out to wet his bottom lip. His hooded eyes burn into mine, and he lets them linger there a few beats without saying anything at all.

  “We need ground rules,” he finally says.

  I narrow my eyes. “For what exactly? I’m not kissing you again, Desmond Blake. That was a one-time thing.”

  He chuckles and shakes his head. “You’re so full of shit.” His hands move up to my ass, and he grips it firmly before sliding me closer. I gasp as my hot center lands directly over his hard length.

  “That was a mistake in there, and you know it.”

  His smile morphs into a cocky smirk. “That was the opposite of a mistake.” He tilts his head, his gaze filled with curiosity. “But are you telling me you didn’t want to kiss me?” He lifts his brows with a challenge.

  I blow out a breath. “No.” I bite down on my bottom lip, wishing it was enough to shut myself up. But my heart is in charge now. “That’s not what I’m saying, not at all. I think that was obvious.”

  He nods. “Oh, it was.” His palms leave my ass and move up until his fingers are crawling beneath my shirt. They move straight up my back to where the clasp of my nonexistent bra should be. Being a small-chested girl has its benefits at times.

  I wish I could capture the moment Desmond realizes that I’m not wearing one. I swear, he doubles in size between my thighs. He lets out a quiet groan that I would have probably missed if I weren’t so in tune with his every move.

  “Just because I let you kiss me back there doesn’t mean I’ll do it again now. That was dumb, reckless.”

  “It was just a kiss, Maggie. It wasn’t dumb or reckless. And I do want to do it again.” He rolls his hips up, pushing himself into me through our clothes, and I react with a groan.

  “See?” His eyes drift down my body. “Look what I’m doing to you. I’m not even inside you yet.”

  “Yet?” I ask in astonishment. “That indicates you will be inside me at some point. Spoiler alert: that won’t happen.”

  “You sure?” His grip loosens on my back, and disappointment fills me. “I’m more on the optimistic side of this scenario.”

  I swallow and nod, showing him I’m firm on my words. “I’m sure you are, but there are so many reasons this is wrong.”

  “Name one.”

  “You’re my boss.”

  He smiles so wide. “I am, aren’t I? Well, I assure you, I don’t have a fraternization policy, so…”

  “Whatever. We’re stuck with each other for the foreseeable future. It’s just not a good idea.”

  “One reason. That’s all you gave me, and it was shit. You got nothing else?” He lifts his hips again, this time rubbing against me in a way that makes my lower belly swirl with flutters. “Give me one more reason, and I’ll back off. But you better make it good.”

  I suppose all I have to do is lift off him and mak
e it clear that I don’t need to give him a reason to not kiss him again. All I have to do is say no. But I don’t say no. I don’t lift myself off of him. I stay and conjure up another reason we shouldn’t be doing this. And I’m not just doing it for him. I’m trying to convince myself too.

  “We hate each other.”

  That makes his lips curl even more as his head moves up and down slightly. Then he cups my neck with his palm and brings me to his lips. “That could make for some hot sex. I’m not opposed to giving it a try.”

  A fire burns in my belly as my internal struggle dies a little inside me. Desmond is incredibly sexy and undoubtably amazing in bed. But is that what I want? An extraordinary lay based on nothing more than my burning need to be with a man again despite his numerous faults? I suppose I haven’t been opposed to meaningless sex before, but somehow it feels different with Desmond, like I’ll be cheating on that little girl inside of me whose heart still breaks over her father’s betrayal.

  Desmond is still painfully hard beneath me. It takes everything not to grind against him and relieve some of my own buildup. Months without sex hasn’t made me feel so wound up and needy until this moment, and I shudder as my imagination starts to go wild.

  “Tell me something you hate about me.”

  “What?” I ask, my eyes opening and landing on his burning blue ones. “Why?”

  He shrugs. “If we hate each other, then there’s no possibility of falling in love, which is what neither of us wants, right? So we play it safe, embrace the hate, and have lots of sex.”

  I roll my eyes. “That is the stupidest idea ever.”

  “Is it?” He quirks a brow, and I realize with a jolt to my chest that he’s not joking around. Desmond wants to have sex with me. Well, he wants to have sex with my body. I would be a liar if I didn’t want the same with him. But my heart resembles a gorilla’s fist as it pounds like crazy against my ribs. I can’t even think straight. Casual sex is a thing. People do it all the time. So why can’t I?

  I narrow my gaze and draw in a slow breath of courage before opening my mouth again. “I hate your…” My mind is whirling, trying to conjure up a single thing I hate about this man. Not long ago, I would have sworn that I hated him with a burning passion. My gaze catches on his hair, which appears more disheveled than usual. I start to run a hand through it. “Hair.”

  He chuckles lightly. “You hate my hair?”

  I nod, my eyes glued to his angry locks of dark brown as I run my nails against his scalp. “You’re the first man I’ve met who has hair nicer than mine.”

  His eyes close as he relaxes under my grip. “Has anyone ever told you that you give good hair sex?”

  I bite back my laugh and shake my head. “I think you might be the first.”

  “Hmm,” he moans before his lids fly open, revealing the same hooded gaze. “Now kiss me.”

  “What?” I start to pull back, but he holds me by the waist.

  “You tell me one thing you hate about me, and then you kiss me. When you’re done, it’s my turn.”

  I sigh and decide to play along with his stupid game. Besides, I wouldn’t mind kissing Desmond again. For someone with such a cocky mouth, it sure knows how to move. So I press my lips to his, feeling an instant buzz in my chest and head. I playfully pull on his bottom lip with mine. It’s a dangerous move, but who the hell cares at this point. It’s only a game. It’s only sex. And this is only a kiss.

  An innocent, slow, intricate, mind-blowing kiss.

  My lips part his, but instead of exploring his mouth and tongue, I slide left to right against his lips. I’m testing the terrain like I’m preparing for a hike, giving myself one more chance to back out of whatever adventure lies ahead.

  But just as I feel like I’m the one with all the power, he pulls back slightly and grins. “My turn.” Desmond’s fingers slip back under my shirt, and he draws slow, soft lines over my skin. His eyes darken on mine. “I hate that mask you hide behind to protect yourself, the one that refuses to let anyone inside. You’re a beautiful woman, Maggie. You shouldn’t cover that up.”

  I swallow at his words and just start making sense of them when his lips land on my neck, right at my pulse. He darts out his tongue to taste my skin then bites down around it before sucking. My entire body goes into a sort of convulsion as he mimics the move again, this time in a different sensitive spot on my neck. I feel like I’m going to combust right on the spot.

  I’m still buzzing when he removes his mouth and looks at me, signaling that it’s my turn. I’m not sure how I can form a coherent thought, so I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. “I hate how you flirt with every attractive female in your presence. No smart woman would fall for that bullshit.”

  Desmond chuckles again and slides his hands up my back once again, running over bare skin where my bra should be. “Good thing you’re a smart woman.” His eyes darken on the spot, and his head drops back against the seat. “Well, aren’t you going to kiss me?”

  This time, I move to his ear, bite gently on his lobe, then take it between my teeth like he did with my neck. When I pull back, I wonder how long this game can continue before we’re naked in the back seat of his car.

  His eyes flash, and his hands slip to my front, over my breasts, causing me to suck in a breath. “I hate how sexy you are,” he says with another lift of his hips. “And I hate how much I want you.”

  The next thing I know, I’m on my back, and Desmond’s on top of me, his mouth moving from my mouth, to my ear, and then to his favorite spot on my neck. I slam my eyes closed and turn my head toward the back of the passenger seat to give him room to venture.

  My breaths become ragged as he drags his mouth from my neck to my cleavage, dipping his tongue inside my shirt while his hand slides up beneath my shirt to cover my breast. My entire body shudders as his fingers glide over my nipple. Pleasure shoots straight down to my core from Desmond’s dangerously addictive touch, and I’m so ready to give in.

  He pushes up my shirt, and his mouth is hot on my nipple, stealing licks, just seconds from devouring me whole. And I desperately want him to do just that. But when my eyes open again, they connect to the back of the passenger seat, specifically on something strangely familiar, causing the fog to clear from my mind and an ache to burn hot in my chest.

  No way. No fucking way.

  I scramble to move Desmond off of me, to sit and yank my shirt down as I shake the fog of sex from my mind. I blink a few times, trying to make the image now branded in my mind fade from sight. But I can’t escape the heart-shaped image that’s carved into the old red leather of the passenger seat.

  It’s not a coincidence.

  I’m not seeing things.

  I carved that heart into the back of the passenger seat when I was nine, but before I could put the “M&M” inside it for my sister and me, my dad caught me and sent me straight to time-out. I’d never seen my father pissed off before that day.

  “You okay?” Desmond’s voice breaks through my memories.

  Did he really just ask me that? My eyes snap to his as my frown deepens. “Where did you get this car?”

  His expression morphs from confusion to understanding so fast, it almost makes me sick. I scoot away from him, my back landing against the side wall of the car. When his mouth opens but he fails to speak, anger engulfs me like gas on a fire.

  “Answer me, Desmond.”

  His shoulders sag, and his face transitions into shame. “It was a gift from Coach after I graduated from high school.”

  My jaw drops, and my stomach heaves as my heart breaks all over again. “He just… gave it to you?”

  His eyes dart between mine before slowly nodding. “I used to fix it up for him until he got so frustrated, he didn’t want to mess with it anymore. So he said I could have it since I was able to take care of it.” Then he lets out a sigh and shakes his head. “If you’re wondering why I didn’t tell you, it’s because I didn’t want you to get all upset about it. It d
oesn’t matter, Maggie. It’s just a car.”

  My eyes bulge wide as I press my body back against the seat. Suddenly, the space is suffocating, and there’s nowhere to run. “Just a car?” I can feel my insides shaking as my voice grows in volume. “Just a car?” I glare at Desmond with all the venom I can muster. “Did you know my dad used to take me on secret drives, just me and him, when I’d get in a big fight with my sister or my mom? He’d take me to get ice cream, or to play at the park, and we’d just have fun together and talk for hours.” I swipe the first tear that falls with the back of my hand. “Did you know that before he disappeared from our lives, he promised this car to me? It was supposed to be my car, Desmond. Mine. And now it’s yours.” I blow out another frustrated breath and reach for the door handle.

  “Where are you going?” Desmond growls.

  “I’m leaving. I’ll walk back. Or I’ll find another ride. But I’m getting out of this damn car.”

  Desmond follows me onto the sidewalk and slams the door behind him. “I’m not letting you walk home alone, Maggie. Get in the car. I’ll take you back.”

  I just shake my head and keep walking. I’ll be fine. The condo is only ten minutes from here if I can focus on my direction. I’ll get home on my own.

  When Desmond realizes I’m not going to stop and turn around, he jogs to catch up to me, his angry breathing only a few feet behind me. “I didn’t do anything wrong, you know.” He growls out his words, revealing his frustration at our situation.” I’m not your father.”

  I whip around to face him, still walking backward. “No. But you’re a reminder, and that’s bad enough.”

  TAKE V

  WEDDING BELLS

  “IN A SEA OF PEOPLE, MY EYES WILL ALWAYS SEARCH FOR YOU." — unknown

  25

  Heavy Weights