A Royally Beautiful Mess

by Carol Moncado

  Baby Cassandra yawned and blinked her eyes open, staring up at her mother. The light caught them just right and struck Abi with the bright blue.

  Then it hit her.

  The one place she could take her daughter where she’d be safe. And loved.

  December 23, 2001

  Two days before Christmas, Abi sat in a coffee shop on Long Island and waited. Calling him had taken every ounce of courage she had. Leaving the voicemail took more.

  Sitting there, Abi didn’t know if she could go through with it. The stroller with her little girl sat to her right. On the other side of it, Brenda sat with her back to the door. Diners nearby sipped on gourmet coffee, but Abi focused on the stationary in front of her. She arrived early so she could write the note, but the paper remained nearly blank.

  When she’d arrived at her parents’ Long Island home after leaving the hospital, a note reiterated her father’s threat. Since then, Abi had planned what to say, but realized she’d never make it through even the shortest speech. She’d planned the words to write, but now the time had come to put pen to paper, and she only managed his name. A glance at her watch told her she didn’t have much time. If she didn’t write it now, she’d have to make the speech. No way could she do that.

  She picked up the Mont Blanc knock-off she’d received for graduation from her grandmother and scribbled a few lines. Her heart squeezed as she reread the note. She couldn’t be a student and a mom. But this? Abi had her suitcase packed. She wouldn’t return to her parents’ home but would crash at Brenda’s for a few days while her friend went out of town. Brenda knew most of what happened, but not everything. Abi’s fingers furrowed through her hair, and she turned to stare out the window. There he stood. His six-foot frame seemed shorter with his shoulders slumped and hands shoved deep in the pockets of his coat. He looked at his watch and trudged across the street.

  The bell over the door jangled. Abi crossed through the unfinished sentence, scribbled a last sentiment and her name, and shoved the note in her purse as he sat down across from her.

  “Hi.” At the sound of his voice, the knots in her gut tightened.

  Abi looked up, knowing he’d see the remnants of her tears. She twisted the napkin in her hands and tried not the think about the weight she’d gained. And if he’d notice.

  “Thanks for coming. I wanted to try to explain, but...” Abi shrugged. “After 9/11, after Mark...” The thoughts of her brother nearly overwhelmed her already overwrought emotions. “Daddy isn’t going to pursue anything. I tried to tell him you weren’t guilty, but he didn’t believe me at first. He found your name in my journal on 9/11-before it was ‘9/11.’ I’d left it lying out by accident.” This time the shrug was a mere halfhearted lift of one shoulder.

  “Mark?” he interrupted. “I read the list of firefighters a bunch of times to make sure he wasn’t there.”

  “He wasn’t on the lists. He was killed at a fire on 9/11. Not at the Trade Center. Another fire where they didn’t have enough manpower because of everything else. They think he died right around the time the first tower fell.”

  Were those tears in his eyes? He and Mark hadn’t spoken in months. “I’m so sorry.”

  Cassandra let out a cry. The disguised Brenda made a shushing sound, but Abi didn’t look. She couldn’t. It was too much. She had to get out. “Can you excuse me for a minute?”

  She didn’t wait for a reply but motioned toward the back, leaving before he had a chance to stop her. Brenda went out the front door. Abi dug the paper out and waved the barista over. “Can you give this to that guy?”

  The woman nodded. Abi fled to the other side of the street and collapsed in Brenda’s arms.

  Travis read the note three times before it began to sink in.

  Dear Travis,

  She had to have written it earlier. There hadn’t been time since she excused herself.

  I hate doing this to you, especially like this. I tried to handle it on my own. I thought I could, but this semester was so hard. Even more than just everything on 9/11 and Mark. I can’t do it. I can’t be a college student and a mom.

  It took several minutes for that to really register.

  A mom?

  He read on, his disbelief growing with each word.

  The baby in the stroller is yours. From that night. I hate that I haven’t told you sooner, but I didn’t know how. I couldn’t tell my parents what happened, not all of it. They would blame you, and it wasn’t your fault. I know this is the coward’s way out, but I can’t tell you to your face. Everything you need for a couple of days is in the diaper bag and the duffel on the bottom of the stroller. So is her birth certificate.

  Her name is Cassandra. She’s only a few days old. Please take good care of her for me. I won’t be home for a while so you can’t reach me. My parents left for vacation out of the country, so they wouldn’t be here when she was born.

  I wish things had worked out the way we planned. The way we talked about all those times. I wish

  Whatever she wished, she didn’t finish the thought before scribbling through it. About like their relationship had been. A wish that was never finished. He went back to the letter.

  Tell Cassandra I love her.

  I’m sorry.

  Abi

  He read it two more times, starting to come to grips with what it meant.

  And then the baby began to fuss.

  Taking a deep, steadying breath to fortify himself, he turned to the blanket tented over the handle of the car seat. Lifting up one corner, he saw pink. Fuzzy bunnies on the toes of a sleeper. A tiny foot kicking those bunnies in the air. He looked further and saw the bluest eyes he’d ever seen staring back at him, almost as though she knew who he was.

  Her father.

  Her daddy.

  The one responsible for her from here on out.

  And in that moment, he fell helplessly in love.

  December 25, 2001

  Christmas night, the little gray Toyota turned off I-44, south towards Serenity Landing, as the wailing in the backseat reached a new level.

  “I’m sorry, Cassandra. We’re almost there. I’ll get you something to eat in a ten minutes, I promise.” Jennifer kicked him out the moment he tried to explain his arrival at the apartment with a baby. Instead, he’d boxed up all his worldly belongings along with the things Abi had left for the baby and packed it in his car. They headed for the only place he knew he could get the help he needed until he had a better handle on things.

  Over twelve hundred miles. Stopping every two or three hours to feed his daughter or change her diaper. Sometimes more often than that. Always taking much longer than it should. Failing to take into account how many things would be closed on Christmas Day, he ran out of the bottled water when he needed to make one more meal for his daughter. He pressed the pedal a little closer to the floor in an effort to reach Serenity Landing a little faster.

  The newborn squalling had quieted a bit when Travis finally pulled to a stop in front of the house where he’d grown up. In the front window, a Christmas tree stood, multi-colored lights twinkling. In the window next to it, he could see Mom and Dad sitting at the dining room table, though he knew they wouldn’t be able to see him. His brother walked in with a platter, piled high with a turkey way too big for the three of them. They’d be eating leftovers for a month.

  Another squeak came from the back. “Okay, baby. We’re here.”

  Somehow, Travis managed to get the diaper bag and the baby seat out of the car and headed toward the door, snow crunching under his boots with each step. The smell of oak burning in the fireplace both comforted him and heightened his anxiety. What if they turned him away? Then what?

  Should he knock?

  He hadn’t been home in two and a half years. Did he just walk in?

  Even with his hands full, Travis managed to press the doorbell. He took a deep breath and blew it out slowly, finishing as the door opened.

  Mom stood there, her jaw hanging down fo
r a second before her hands covered her mouth. “Travis!”

  He tried to smile but failed miserably. “Hi, Mom.” In the space of a heartbeat, he saw what he needed to in her eyes. Forgiveness. Acceptance. Love. Grace. With a prayer tossed heavenward, he tried again to smile, this time successfully. “There’s someone I want you to meet.”

  Available Now!

  Travis Harders has been a single dad since the day he learned he had a daughter with his only one-night stand. Fifteen years later, he and Cassie are getting along just fine and he's even fallen in love. The last thing he expects to find on his doorstep one Tuesday morning is Cassie's mom - the one person he thought he’d never see again - and she's asking the impossible.

  Circumstances, including her firefighter brother's death on 9/11, forced Abi Connealy into a decision she's spent years regretting and her daughter grew up without her. But now, a family crisis compels her to do the one thing she swore she never would: find the daughter she’d abandoned just a few days after birth.

  Shocked when Travis doesn’t send her packing, Abi prays to a God she doesn’t believe in that her relationship with her daughter will be restored. Travis plans to propose to his girlfriend, but their relationship hits the rocks as he and Abi both struggle with the long-dormant feelings that never had the chance to develop.

  When Cassie demonstrates incredible grace toward the grandfather who refuses to acknowledge her existence, Abi begins to learn the love of a Savior - a Savior who has more than enough Grace to Save.

  About the Author

  When she's not writing about her imaginary friends, USA Today Bestselling Author Carol Moncado prefers binge watching pretty much anything to working out. She believes peanut butter M&Ms are the perfect food and Dr. Pepper should come in an IV. When not hanging out with her hubby, four kids, and two dogs who weigh less than most hard cover books, she’s probably reading in her Southwest Missouri home.

  Summers find her at the local aquatic center with her four fish, er, kids. Fall finds her doing the band mom thing. Winters find her snuggled into a blanket in front of a fire with the dogs. Spring finds her sneezing and recovering from the rest of the year.

  She used to teach American Government at a community college, but her indie career, with over twenty titles released, has allowed her to write full time. She's a founding member and former President of MozArks ACFW, blogger at InspyRomance, and is represented by Tamela Hancock Murray of the Steve Laube Agency.

  www.carolmoncado.com

  books@candidpublications.com

  The CANDID Romance Series

  Finding Mr. Write

  Finally Mr. Write

  Falling for Mr. Write

  The Monarchies of Belles Montagnes Series

  (Previously titled The Montevaro Monarchy

  and The Brides of Belles Montagnes series)

  Good Enough for a Princess

  Along Came a Prince

  More than a Princess

  Hand-Me-Down Princess

  Winning the Queen’s Heart

  Protecting the Prince (Novella)

  Prince from her Past

  Serenity Landing Second Chances

  Discovering Home

  Glimpsing Hope

  Reclaiming Hearts

  Crowns & Courtships

  Heart of a Prince

  The Inadvertent Princess

  A Royally Beautiful Mess

  The Indentured Queen

  Crowns & Courtships Novellas

  Dare You

  A Kaerasti for Clari

  Serenity Landing Tuesdays of Grace

  9/11 Tribute Series

  Grace to Save

  Serenity Landing Lifeguards

  Summer Novellas

  The Lifeguard, the New Guy, & Frozen Custard

  (previously titled: The Lifeguards, the Swim Team, & Frozen Custard)

  The Lifeguard, the Abandoned Heiress, & Frozen Custard

  Serenity Landing Teachers

  Christmas Novellas

  Gifts of Love

  Manuscripts & Mistletoe

  Premieres & Paparazzi

  Mallard Lake Township

  Ballots, Bargains, & the Bakery (novella)

  Timeline/Order for Crowns & Courtships and Novellas

  1. A Kaerasti for Clari

  2. Dare You

  (the first two can be read in either order, but technically this is the timeline)

  3. Heart of a Prince

  4. The Inadvertent Princess

  5. A Royally Beautiful Mess