Forgotten Destiny

by Forgotten Destiny (retail) (epub)

  I could tell at once that he was in an ill humour, though he greeted me pleasantly enough.

  ‘Davina! It’s good to see you! How was your trip?’

  ‘It went very well,’ I said. ‘Apart from the voyage out, when I was dreadfully sick. I enjoyed France very much, and Italy too, though we were there only a very short time. It is very picturesque.’

  ‘Yes, I’m fond of Italy myself,’ Theo said. ‘Though I am less enamoured of France. Such a quarrelsome nation, I always think. But you are home sooner than you planned, surely?’

  I felt my cheeks grow a little hot.

  ‘That is because I have some news,’ I said. ‘I am going to have a baby in the spring, and Mr Paterson thought it best we return to England before my pregnancy was too far advanced.’

  ‘Oh, that is capital news indeed!’ Theo enthused. ‘Whoever would have thought it – old John Paterson a father at last!’

  He spoke, I thought, rather disparagingly, and to my own surprise I found myself rushing to my husband’s defence.

  ‘I really don’t know why you should find it surprising, Theo. Babies are a part of marriage, surely?’

  ‘I dare say, but…’ Theo snorted, an explosion of ill-concealed merriment. ‘Well, there’s life in the old dog yet!’ He must have become aware of my disapproving expression, because he made an effort to straighten his face and change the subject. ‘You should have let us know you were coming to visit, Davina, and I’d have laid on the fatted calf.’

  ‘It was a spur of the moment decision,’ I said. ‘I only decided this morning that I’d call on you. I wasn’t even sure I would find you at home. I thought you might be at the docks, or even the meeting of the Merchant Venturers.’

  Theo’s face darkened. ‘Chance would be a fine thing.’

  ‘You haven’t been invited to join, then?’

  ‘No – and it’s beginning to look as though I won’t be,’ Theo said shortly. ‘Not that I’d want to, mind you, if it were not for the financial and business advantages it would bring. I can’t say I relish the thought of having to be charming to a lot of pompous asses who while their days away scratching one another’s backs. They are not my idea of the sort of company I would choose to keep.’

  So – we were back to sniping at Mr Paterson and his partners. Theo’s disappointment at not being invited to join the association was making him bitter, I thought, whether he admitted it to himself or not.

  ‘Great-Uncle Charles is not well, I understand,’ I said.

  ‘His chest is playing him up,’ Theo said rather carelessly. ‘It’s a familiar enough problem for him, but it does not usually strike him down until winter, when we’ve had a spell of cold, wet weather. It’s early in the year for him to have to take to his bed. We shall have trouble later on, I shouldn’t be surprised.’

  ‘What does the doctor say?’ I asked, concerned.

  Theo shrugged. ‘Oh him – he’ll say anything so long as it means he can get more money out of us! He thinks Papa would be better off living up on Park Street, or in Clifton, but there is fat chance of that unless the blamed Merchant Venturers decide to look on us more kindly.’

  ‘Perhaps I can go up and see him before I leave,’ I suggested.

  ‘As you like. He’ll be asleep, though, I shouldn’t wonder. He seems to sleep most of the day away.’ Theo shot me a quick, rather wicked look, a little more like his usual self. ‘You’ve seen me, anyway. Isn’t that what you came for?’

  Ignoring his implication, I grasped my opportunity.

  ‘Actually, yes,’ I said guilelessly. ‘I wanted to talk to you, Theo. Something very strange has happened.’

  His eyes narrowed. ‘Strange? In what way strange, Davina?’

  I hesitated, my courage almost failing me. Never had Richard Wells’ assertion seemed more outrageous than it did to me at that moment, when I was faced with putting it into words for my cousin. It seemed to make a fool out of me that I should give it credence for even a fleeting second. Yet, at the same time, it accused me, for if it were true, then it meant that either I was a wanton woman or a bigamist. The realization, which had not previously occurred to me, shocked me to the core, filling me with shame – and fear.

  But I had come this far – there could be no going back. And in any case, whatever heartache or disgrace lay ahead, I had to know the truth. For the sake of my sanity, I had to know the truth.

  ‘You remember the man who accosted me outside the hot well and called me Rowan,’ I began hesitantly, choosing to skirt around the night of Mr Paterson’s reception, when Theo had surprised us in such a compromising situation, and the angry altercation between them which had followed.

  Theo grunted angrily. ‘How could I forget? But I hoped that you might have done, Davina.’

  ‘That is more easily said than done,’ I ventured, still, I think, delaying the moment when I must tell him the reason I had begun this conversation.

  ‘He won’t bother you any more, now that you are wed to John Paterson,’ Theo asserted with misguided confidence. ‘He knows you are a married woman, and one with a husband who is most influential in Bristol.’

  ‘But he has,’ I said quietly.

  Theo swore. ‘The swine! Will he never realize you are lost to him? But I thought you said you returned only yesterday. What possible opportunity can he have found to accost you again?’

  ‘I have not seen him,’ I said, biting my lip. ‘There was a letter waiting for me on my return. A letter which has disturbed me greatly.’

  ‘He dared to write to you at John’s house? Did John not intercept it?’

  ‘He did not know it had come,’ I explained. ‘And I have to tell you, he still knows nothing about it.’

  ‘You are deceiving your husband? By Jove, Davina, you are treading on dangerous ground!’

  ‘I know it,’ I said, shamefaced. ‘But I wanted to talk to you first about the contents. And in any case, I don’t want to cause trouble for Thomas, who acted as his messenger. Mr Paterson might well be very angry with him if he knew Thomas had passed the letter to me behind his back. He’s threatened before to have him whipped, and I think he might well be capable of carrying out his threat.’

  ‘And Thomas would well deserve it!’ Theo said roundly. ‘So – he’s involved, is he?’

  ‘Involved?’ I repeated, remembering suddenly Thomas’s reluctance to divulge any information whatever regarding Richard Wells or his whereabouts. ‘Involved in what?’

  Oh – it doesn’t matter.’ Theo moved impatiently. ‘So, what did it say, this letter, that has upset you so? Why did you wish to talk to me about it?’

  I could avoid the nub of the matter no longer. I licked my dry lips and met Theo’s gaze squarely.

  ‘It claimed that I am the mother of his child.’

  If I had struck him, I do not believe Theo could have looked more thunderstruck. For a moment the colour left his face, then returned in a rush, ruddying his cheeks, and his expression was one of utter shock. And then the anger began to creep in.

  ‘Dear God, will the man stop at nothing? How dare he lay such a charge at your door? Why, Davina, surely you must know such a thing could not possibly be true?’

  ‘But that’s just it,’ I said desperately. ‘I can remember nothing of my past – you know that.’

  ‘And so, damn him, does he!’ Theo swore again. ‘He’s seeking to play on your loss of memory for his own ends!’

  For some reason I felt, not relief, but an ache of disappointment.

  ‘It’s not true, then?’ I asked in a small voice.

  ‘I certainly hope it is not!’ Theo exclaimed. ‘I can’t speak for what happened before you came into the care of your grandparents, of course, but…’

  ‘He said she is two years old,’ I said.

  ‘Well there you are then! It can’t possibly be true, can it? Two years ago you were safely in Gloucestershire – and confined to your sickbed.’

  I knotted my hands in the folds of my skirts,
unable now to meet his angry, disbelieving eyes.

  ‘I have only their word for that,’ I said softly.

  ‘What do you mean?’ Theo demanded.

  ‘I have only their word for the exact date when I was taken to them,’ I persisted. ‘I don’t know for how long I lay unconscious, and even when I did come round, things were very hazy for some time. Suppose I did have a child, Theo. Suppose that was the reason Mama was taking us to my grandparents – to seek succour and protection, not for me, but for the child. I have this dream, you see, about the accident, and there is someone in the carriage with us. I’ve never before known who it was, but last night I saw her clearly. The little girl…’

  ‘What little girl?’ Theo asked, looking puzzled.

  ‘The little girl he brought to see me at the cathedral. The little one he claims is our little girl…’

  ‘He did what?’ Theo exclaimed. ‘He paraded a child in front of you on your wedding day? Sweet Jesu, the man is more devious – and more ruthless – than even I imagined! He must have borrowed her from someone. Richard Wells has no child of his own that I’ve ever heard of. He’s a trickster and a charlatan, Davina. He is seeking to play with your mind, and by God, he’s succeeding! How old did this child appear to be?’

  ‘About two, I should think, exactly as he said.’

  ‘Well, there you are then! It’s quite impossible she can have been in the carriage with you – and if she had been, doubtless she would have been killed. Your mother was, remember.’

  ‘And the coachman,’ I added automatically.

  ‘Oh yes – the coachman. I’d forgotten him. And you were terribly injured, as well you know. A babe would have been most unlikely to survive. No, take it from me, Davina, the child he is using to lure you back to him, whoever she is, cannot be the child in the carriage in your dream. Unless she’s a ghost!’ He laughed almost insanely at his own joke, but I could not see that there was anything even remotely funny about it.

  But he was right, of course. I had known already that it made no sense. Theo had only put into rather cruel words what I had deduced for myself.

  And yet I was still not satisfied. Perhaps it was this inexplicable ache of disappointment within me that made me reluctant to let go of the idea, perhaps it was sheer romantic fantasy, a desire to have something more in my life than a brief past in a country rectory and a tedious future with a man I was not, and never would be, in love with.

  But I knew in that moment that I could not give up my quest for the truth simply because I had come up against a stone wall in Theo.

  Perhaps Richard Wells was a charlatan and an adventurer as Theo claimed he was. Perhaps he was using the most dreadful deception to get me back into his clutches. Perhaps I was deluding myself when I thought it might be different. But I had to pursue it. I had to know.

  What I thought I could do about it, of course, if any of it proved to have a foundation in fact, was something else again. As Theo had pointed out, I was a married woman now – and one who was with child. But that really had no bearing for the moment on what I felt compelled to do. It was the uncertainty I could not live with.

  Thomas had said he knew where to find Richard Wells. If I saw him, spoke to him face to face, then surely I would know if he was lying.

  Nine

  I spoke to Thomas as he drove me home. I asked if he would kindly arrange a meeting for me with Richard Wells, striving to sound as if it were an everyday order, such as making the carriage ready or asking Cook to prepare boiled mutton for supper, and he agreed in much the same spirit. Though we were, in fact, conspiring, yet neither of us acknowledged the conspiracy. There was no need even for me to ask him not to mention my request to Mr Paterson; I knew he would not. Then there was nothing I could do but wait. And in the waiting period my nerves were so on edge I did not know what to do with myself.

  I was dreadfully afraid that my agitation would be apparent to Mr Paterson, but if he noticed it at all, he must have put it down to my condition. Ever since I had told him I was with child, he had treated me with the utmost consideration – but then, when had he ever done anything else? Nothing was too good for me, and his kindness made me burn with guilt to know that I was deceiving him.

  Two days went by, then three, then four, with no news. I prowled the house like a caged tigress, and whenever I encountered Thomas I had to steel myself not to ask if he had yet had the opportunity to pass on my message. I did not wish to appear too eager. But it was all I could manage, especially on the morning after I had by chance seen what looked like his impressive figure stealing along the side of the house and disappearing in the direction of Park Street. He should not have been out at night, I knew, and I could only think that he had gone on my errand, and pray that his absence would not be noticed.

  At last I could contain my impatience no longer. When I heard him clearing the salvers from the breakfast room, I slipped in after him, making sure no one was within earshot.

  ‘Thomas – have you yet had the opportunity…?’

  He raised his eyes to mine, dark, inscrutable as ever, and said nothing at all.

  ‘Mr Wells,’ I said urgently. ‘Have you spoken with him yet?’

  Thomas picked up the dish containing the remains of the griddled kidneys.

  ‘I thought to see him last night.’

  So– I had been right!

  ‘And…?’

  ‘He was not there,’ Thomas said flatly. ‘Word was that he has met with some kind of an accident.’

  My heart seemed to stop beating. My hand flew to my throat.

  ‘An accident? What kind of an accident?’

  ‘Word has it he was set upon by ruffians.’

  ‘By ruffians!’ I repeated stupidly. ‘Is he… Was he badly hurt, do you know?’

  ‘I couldn’t say, ma’am.’

  Daltry, the housemaid, came in then with a scuttle of coal to make up the fire – the weather had the bite of autumn in it now, and, since we had returned from our wedding tour fires had been lit in all the reception rooms each day, though not yet in the bedrooms – and I could ask no more. Thomas went out, carrying the salver of kidneys, and I was left frustrated and dreadfully anxious.

  My last question to Thomas was the one uppermost in my mind – how badly had Richard Wells been hurt? Quite seriously, I imagined, if he had not been wherever it was Thomas had expected to find him. Why, he might even have died of his injuries! Such a thing was not beyond the bounds of possibility if he had been set upon by a gang of ruffians. The docks area crawled with them by night, drunken seamen who would pick a fight with anyone, as well as rogues looking for a man to rob. They would steal their victim’s watch and money and tip him into the docks so badly beaten that he would likely drown if no one came to his aid, and it was a brave man who would take on not only a gang of rough and ready thugs, who might well be armed, but also the filth of the water that slopped against the quayside.

  But surely Thomas would have known if the worst had happened? Even in such an unruly society, murder was still a serious enough occurrence to be talked about. More likely by far that the attack had stopped short of murder and Richard Wells had been confined to bed to nurse whatever injuries had been inflicted upon him.

  And that, heaven alone knew, was bad enough! I thought of that handsome face beaten to a pulp and closed my eyes against my imagining. I wondered if his ribs had been cracked or his limbs broken. He was such a strong man, and the thought of him damaged was unbearable. And somehow quite out of keeping…

  The thought occurred to me that he was not really the sort of man thugs usually set upon at all. He was not overtly wealthy, and he certainly did not look an easy victim. He looked like a man who could take care of himself, who would not give in without putting up a fight. Ruffians usually picked on the soft and the weak and the nervous. Who, I wondered, would have chosen to attack Richard Wells?

  * * *

  I did not have to wait long for my answer. Theo came calling, ostensibly to
tell me that Great-Uncle Charles was somewhat recovered and would like to see me. But as soon as we were alone he made it clear that there was another reason behind his visit.

  ‘I don’t think Richard Wells will be bothering you again in a hurry,’ he said, rather smugly.

  I was so startled it was all I could do not to give away the fact that I had already heard he had been subjected to an attack.

  ‘What do you mean?’ I asked.

  And Theo smirked. Actually smirked.

  ‘I’ve had him taught a lesson he won’t forget in a hurry.’

  I stared at him, horrified. ‘What?’

  ‘There are those I know who will show a man the error of his ways for a small payment,’ he said lightly. ‘A good beating in a dark alley will soon show a dog who is master, especially if the reason for his misfortune is explained to him. Let us simply say that Richard Wells met with a gang of thugs who would have done it for the sheer pleasure of it, as like as not, even if there had not been a purse of money for them at the end of it. And the message was that if he continued to bother you it would be worse next time, and there would be a body found floating amongst the garbage in the river.’

  ‘Theo!’ I gasped. ‘Are you saying you had Richard Wells attacked because of me?’

  ‘It’s the only language scum like him understand,’ Theo said carelessly. ‘Writing letters to you secretly, trying to frighten you into returning to him with all kinds of wicked nonsense… He had to be stopped, Davina.’

  ‘But to beat him senseless…!’ I cried. ‘Oh, Theo, that cannot be right!’

  ‘Don’t waste your pity on him, Davina,’ Theo said shortly. ‘This is the man, remember, whom your mother died to protect you from. The man who might even have been directly responsible for her death, if my suspicions are correct, and it was he, and not some highwayman, who held up your carriage. Your mother’s murderer, Davina – think of that if the idea of him taking a little of his own medicine offends your sensibilities.’

  ‘But…’ I could find no words to express the turmoil I was feeling.