Always You

by Tiara Inserto

  “No worries. I rarely get cold. Wear it as long as you like tonight. Mum didn’t overwhelm you too much, did she?”

  Neela smiled. “I’d forgotten how energetic she is. You get that from her, don’t you? She’s lovely. Quite unique, isn’t she?”

  “That’s putting it mildly. When we were in England, she didn’t fit in with the other navy wives. No one was awful or anything, but she was lonely. Once we got home, she blossomed again. I know Dad turned down some really good postings for them to stay here. Andrew always thought Dad could have done more with his career if he had taken at least one of those assignments. Robbie didn’t think Dad wanted more.”

  “Some people have all they need at home.”

  “There’s truth in that.”

  “Like you?”

  “Are we talking about the offers from Europe I didn’t take, now?” Blake remembered their conversation from a year ago.

  Neela shrugged. “Mano’s taking one.”

  “He told you that, did he?”

  “Yeah. Gave me the inside scoop. Did you know?”

  Blake nodded. “He’s doing it for Margot. We both know that. He’d never leave her otherwise.” He shoved his hands into his pockets and looked towards the water. “We all do what we have to do. He wants to take care of her family, even if it means sacrificing time with her. I don’t think I’ll ever meet another person who’s so clear in his priorities. I respect him more for who he is as a man than as a rugby player and believe me, that’s saying a lot.”

  As they reached the beach, Blake asked. “What you reckon, sand in your toes, or keep those pretty sandals in good shape?”

  Neela scoffed. “Sand in toes, of course.” She didn’t hesitate to take her sandals off as Blake did the same with his shoes.

  They walked by the water’s edge before Blake led them in the direction he thought Andrew would be. He kept his eyes ahead, searching for movement on the small hill in front of them.

  Neela walked ankle-deep in the water, looking lost in thought, her strides creating slight sprays that caught the bottom of his trousers. Her skin was nearly luminous in the light of a bright moon; the bruise on her cheek remained visible.

  He’d known it’d be there. He had winced when he saw her tackle the forward who was at least a foot taller—and wider—than she. But like all the good ones, she got up quickly and was ready to move again.

  He bet there were a few more dark spots on her body, but she moved unaffected by whatever pain she may have incurred during the competition.

  “Two Panadols?”

  Neela understood the question. “Every four hours the day after.”

  “You’re moving well.”

  “RugNZ has some pretty good trainers to keep us loose.”

  “That they do.”

  “Why would you want a picture of Mano’s tattoos?”

  “Don’t want to talk about the match, Neela?”

  Neela shook her head. “Not really. What’s so funny?”

  “When people meet me, that’s usually all they want to talk about: the footy. Yet here we are, two people who play top-level rugby, and you don’t want to have a conversation about how the team played.”

  “I know how we played,” Neela responded. “We break it down after every match. We study the game constantly. I’m all right not talking about it with you. Tattoos?”

  Blake grinned. “Okay, okay. No talking about rugby. I want to give Mano something special for his retirement. He doesn’t have any belts, and I thought he might appreciate something personalized.”

  “Like a belt that matches his tattoos? It’d certainly be unique. But have you ever considered why Mano doesn’t have any belts, Blake?”

  “He’ll like this one.”

  Even in the minimal light, Blake saw the flash of amusement in Neela’s eyes. “Honestly, Blake, you have more confidence than anyone else I’ve ever met.”

  “Oh, I don’t know about that. We all have our insecurities.”

  “What’s yours?”

  Blake took a deep breath and looked around again. A few meters away, another couple was walking hand in hand. Otherwise, they were alone on the beach.

  Blake kept his gaze to the dark path in front of them. “Among the many, I guess the biggest one would be that when rugby is over, there’ll be nothing else I’ll be good at.”

  Neela didn’t respond immediately. When she did, Blake heard the surprise in her voice. “You have so much going for you.”

  “I do. But I’m also aware that each year, with each injury, I’m closer to calling it quits. And then what?”

  “Didn’t you read law at university?”

  “How did you know that?”

  “Mano mentioned it one day. I guess I remembered because I’ve never thought of you as...”

  “Being able to finish uni?”

  “No.”

  “Being able to get into uni?”

  Neela huffed. “Stop interrupting! No, I just never thought of you as a lawyer. You seemed...”

  “Not the uni type? Ow! Shit, Neela, that hurt!” Blake rubbed the spot on his upper arm where Neela had pinched him.

  She faced him unapologetically. A sudden wind blew her hair wildly across her face, but she ignored it. “I barely touched you, and I just said not to interrupt me! Oh my God, Stanton, shut up, will you? I’m trying to be sympathetic, and you just keep going on. What does a girl have to do to get a word in? How does Mano put up with you?”

  Mum was right: she had fire in her eyes, and at the moment he couldn’t resist them. He had to know. Could he light the fire inside her with an emotion other than anger?

  She wasn’t expecting his kiss. Her eyes were still open when their lips touched. Blake recognized the surprise in them when she realized what he was about to do.

  But he couldn’t keep his eyes open. The intensity that came with the feel of her lips on his eliminated the smell of the sea, the sound of the crashing waves, the grittiness of the sand beneath his feet.

  He only sensed her at that moment.

  She tasted of wine he didn’t know she’d drank, and he wanted more. His body flared when he felt her lips yield to his.

  Then a blast of cold air came between them when she pulled away suddenly, her eyes wide and wild.

  “What the hell are you doing?” she demanded.

  “Uh...”

  “Blake! Friends can’t kiss like that!”

  Blake tried to answer — not that he knew what to say — but the sound of deep laughter caught both Neela’s and his attention.

  “That’s probably the best reaction I’ve ever seen to one of Blake’s kisses!”

  Blake continued to breathe hard. He ran a hand through his already wind-blown hair and faced the new person on the scene. “Where have you been, Andrew?”

  “In the kitchen having a lovely glass of sparkling white wine with the caterer. Dad said he’d sent you and Neela out to the beach to find me. Why did everyone think I’d be out here in the cold and wind while the real party was inside? Though what I’ve just witnessed has made the trek out here worth it.”

  Neela narrowed her eyes at Blake, and he knew they were going to be talking about this later. But when she faced Andrew, it was with a smile that lit up her face. An unfamiliar jolt of jealousy ran through his body, and he shoved his shaking hands his front pockets.

  “Hi, Andrew. I’m Neela.” She offered her hand. “It’s been a few years, but I do remember you from when we were children.”

  Andrew took Neela’s hand and raised it to his lips. He gave Blake a sideways glance before turning on a smile that had most recently graced the cover of an international tech magazine. “I can see why my mother and my niece are obsessed with you. Come, walk with the most civilized of the Stanton boys. Fill me in on your life since we last saw each other.”

  Andrew carefully folded her hand into the crook of his arm, and Blake was left watching the two of them move toward the house without him.

  * * *
>
  “My brother wasn’t overstepping his boundaries, was he?” Andrew asked softly as they approached the house.

  Neela shook her head. “He did nothing I couldn’t handle. I trust Blake. It was just... he took me by surprise. Nothing like that has happened between us before. Nor will it again.”

  She wasn’t going to admit to Andrew Stanton how her lips were still tingling from Blake’s kiss, or how close she had been to pulling him closer when sanity prevailed. No, Blake’s older brother certainly didn’t need to know any of this. “We’re just friends,” she reaffirmed, as much to herself as to Andrew.

  “Oh? The media has you planning your wedding in six months.”

  Neela shrugged. “Can’t control what the media says, eh? Tim’s away, and all his other friends are on tour or busy with other things. He’s in between girlfriends, so I guess I’m just it for now.”

  Andrew grinned. “If you say so. Right, well, if you’re not really planning a wedding in six months, be careful with Mum, then.”

  “Blake mentioned that she really wanted me here. I don’t understand it. Neither does your brother, apparently.”

  Andrew studied her intently. He seemed to have made a decision when he spoke again. “He wouldn’t understand because Mum will never admit to him that she knew you’d always look out for him at school.”

  Neela’s face went warm. “I didn’t. Well, not really.”

  “I had moved on to high school when she said things got a little rough at school for Blake. He’s always tended to stand out, even when he was a little kid. And he was little.”

  “To be honest, I don’t remember doing anything special for him,” she said. “He was just someone to play rugby with. We all stood up for our mates. It was a big group of us kids, mucking about with the ball at recess and after school. I remember the girls better because there were fewer of us. It wasn’t until he signed with the Club team that I realized he was the same Blake Stanton from school.”

  “Well, Mum never forgets a face. And she doesn’t forget acts of kindness towards her boys,” Andrew explained.

  They were now standing at one of the many drinks areas set up throughout the house. There was dancing in the room they’d entered, and other guests had made themselves comfortable with plates of food on their laps. Despite the number of people, there was an intimate, friendly feel to the party. Everyone seemed to know each other. No strangers.

  Andrew reached for a wine bottle on a nearby table and began to uncork it with practiced hands. “I understand that you and Blake will start shooting the commercial soon. A remake of your Last Man Standing video?”

  She spotted Blake entering the house. His hair was now tousled, unkempt by his usual standards, and it only emphasized his masculinity. He searched the room before their eyes met. She knew he was trying to determine if she was still angry. She wasn’t, but she didn’t want him to know that right now. She still needed to understand her response to his kiss.

  She accepted the glass of wine Andrew offered and downed half of it, ignoring his knowing smirk.

  “Tell me something, Andrew,” Neela said. “How did Blake react when the video of us as kids first came out? It brought me a lot of attention, the good kind. I think it was one reason the coaches started paying attention to me as a junior.”

  He paused in thought. “Well, we were caught up in the chaos of moving to England at that time. But I remember he said you’d won fair and square, which only made Mum love him more. He wasn’t bothered. To be honest, I would have been livid. I think that’s what makes him a good rugby player: he knows how to move on. People sometimes think he doesn’t care. That’s not true. He just doesn’t let mistakes weigh him down.”

  “Yeah, you need that as a professional.”

  “You need that in life.” Andrew placed his now-empty wine glass on the table. “Miss Smyth, would you care to dance?”

  Neela was quick to shake her head, but Andrew’s natural smile was hard to ignore. Although it was similar to Blake’s, it didn’t incite any excitement. He had identical eyes, too, but they didn’t reach her soul.

  “No, thanks, Andrew.”

  “I know you’ve got rhythm, Miss Smyth.” Andrew’s body began to move to the catchy pace of the latest chart-topper. He danced around her. “I’ve seen you play.”

  “Rugby is not dancing,” she protested as Andrew started to shimmy his shoulders while his head began to shake in odd, jerky movements that were strangely appropriate for him.

  “Come on, silver medalist. Show us tech nerds how it’s done!” Andrew turned around and... twerked.

  Neela burst out laughing. “That’s not a good move for you, Andrew!” But she didn’t resist when he pulled her gently into his arms and swung her around.

  Although she was used to controlling her body in fast-paced, powerful motions, simply swaying and letting her limbs move without intention was strangely relaxing. Laughter came quickly, especially when Andrew started to wiggle his eyebrows to the techno beat that came up next.

  Despite the music and a distracting dance partner, Neela felt Blake’s eyes follow her. Even when one of the aunties dragged him onto the now-crowded dance floor, she knew he was looking for her.

  It was silly, but she made a conscious effort to avoid Blake the rest of the evening. Andrew made it easy. He chose to be her companion for the duration of the party, picking up where Blake had left off and introduced her to various family friends. She sat with Sharon and Robbie while she ate then danced with Lulu for the rest of the evening. She was pretty sure she talked with everyone who came.

  All the while, Blake was on the other side of the room. He never lacked companionship and was at ease with people he obviously was fond of. She would admit to looking for him among the strangers, and their eyes would meet at random moments. When she returned his questioning glance with a soft smile, he visibly relaxed. She wasn’t angry at him. He deserved to know that at least, Neela thought. I just didn’t expect wanting to kiss you back.

  Blake finally reached her side as guests started to say their goodbyes.

  “Are you ready?” he whispered.

  Neela nodded. She had kept his blazer on the whole evening, even while dancing. “I’ll probably have to dry-clean this for you.”

  “No worries. Keep it on for now. It’ll be cold when we leave the house.”

  He leaned in, his face centimeters away from hers. She turned, the sound of her heartbeat loud and erratic in her head.

  “Are we okay?” he asked.

  A shiver went through Neela. She wasn’t just hearing his voice but feeling it. She pulled Blake’s blazer tighter around her. Swallowing the same nervous energy she usually expected before a match, Neela willed herself to look at Blake. She wasn’t a coward. There was nothing to be afraid of.

  “Yes, we’re okay.”

  She should move. She should make her way to Clarissa and Walt, to thank them for inviting her. She shouldn’t be staring at Blake’s lips or remembering how they’d felt, how they’d tasted.

  “Are you leaving already?” Clarissa’s loud voice pierced through Neela’s confusion.

  “Yes, Mum,” Blake said. His hand returned to Neela’s waist, bringing her closer to him.

  She didn’t pull away. “Thank you again for inviting me this evening,” she said. “I had a wonderful time. Your family knows how to throw a party.”

  “Well, we’ve had lots of practice. We celebrate everything. You must come back, even without Blake,” Clarissa said, her eyes dancing and her face flushed. “I am quite serious about doing a portrait of you one day.”

  “I’m not sure why you would, but I’m always willing to try something new.”

  “That’s the spirit!” Clarissa turned to Blake. “And you’ll be coming straight back, yes? We expect you to stay overnight as usual, since Andrew is around.”

  “Yes, Mum. Straight back.”

  “I mean it, Blake. I may have had a few too many glasses of sparkling wine, but I saw the wa
y you were undressing this girl with your eyes while she was dancing.”

  “Mum!”

  He bent to kiss Clarissa, who whispered something to her youngest son. Blake responded with a shake of his head and an affectionate smile. A sudden image of Neela’s last goodbye with her own mother came out of nowhere. It’d been years since she’d thought of that afternoon in the hospital. There had been tears —lots of them — but Mum had made all her children promise that they would only remember the good times.

  “You all right?”

  “Yes, why?”

  “You were far away, someplace sad.”

  Neela pursed her lips. “I’m not there now.”

  Blake looked unconvinced, but he kept his feelings to himself as he led them through the house. After a long string of goodbyes, she followed Blake back to his car. He held her hand the whole time. Her mind said to let go, but something else deep within her told to keep it there.

  After starting the car, he turned on the radio. She was surprised when the first sounds of the latest pop song came out.

  Blake shrugged. “I thought you might want something a little more to your taste. And...well... I’m sorry if kissing you was the wrong thing to do.”

  In the shadows of the car, his dark eyes held hers. She whispered, “I’m not angry at you. I guess I didn’t think we’d... you know.”

  He sat back in his seat and placed his hands on the steering wheel. He stared ahead, a vein in his neck visibly pulsating. “Could something happen between us?”

  Neela’s eyes widened, surprise stunning her into momentary silence. She slumped back into the luxurious leather seat. Frowning, she pulled the seatbelt over her. “What do you mean? What does ‘something’ mean, Blake? A quick one-night stand? I don’t do those.”

  “No, I wouldn’t think you did. And that’s not what I meant, either. We’re attracted to each other, aren’t we? We don’t have to pretend. We could have the dates we’re planning to have be... real. They could mean something.”

  Neela looked out the window on her side of the car. Clouds had moved in, hiding any light from the moon and stars. Only scattered streetlamps prevented them from being shrouded entirely in darkness.