Lone Survivor (Crescent City Kings Book 1)

by Anya Summers

  Ram seemed hell-bent on driving her out of her ever-loving mind with pleasure.

  “Ram, Sir!” she cried.

  “Let go for me. You’re still trying to control everything. Surrender, and I promise to make it worth your while,” he murmured, his lips by her ear.

  She wanted to come. Wanted him to stop teasing her and screw her brains out. Yet he was right. She was holding on, controlling her desire as best she could. Why? Because she was afraid. Afraid of what he was coming to mean, afraid that if she gave him everything, all of herself, she wouldn’t be enough.

  Hadn’t those been Henry’s final words to her? That their marriage hadn’t been enough for him, that she wasn’t enough for him?

  Fear was a stupid reason. She was tired of it controlling her. Sadie breathed deeply, let her body relax, and did just what Ram had told her to. She surrendered, letting go of all her fears and doubts, giving herself into Ram’s more than capable hands.

  “That’s it, babe,” he murmured, his voice full of praise, and inserted the plug fully. Then he switched it on.

  Oh god. Her eyes almost rolled back in her head. The vibrations rippled from her ass throughout her body. It made her pussy quiver and her nipples throb. Sadie trembled at the eroticism of it all, more aroused than ever before.

  Then Ram traced her body with the paddle, moving up her arms, along her shoulder blades, down her spine, over her buttocks to her thighs, and calves. The feather-soft touch of the paddle and the vibrations of the plug combined to put her in a hypnotic trance.

  At the first hard swat across her bottom, she cried out. Pain poured through her butt. The skin radiated pain.

  “Ram,” she wailed.

  “We’re going to start with ten. You’re doing beautifully. Let go,” he commanded. The paddle fell again with a wallop. The loud crack reverberated in the space. Sadie yelped. Hard swats cracked against her bottom, jolting her with the agony as her butt burned. But the pain combined with the humming vibes in her ass until it felt like she had lava erupting from her belly and flowing into each of her limbs.

  Fissures cracked open, one right after another. Sadie had been holding herself together—by her fingertips, at times. But the walls melted as the lava flowed through her veins until there was no longer a barrier holding it all in place. The pain flowed from her eyes, her tears falling unimpeded.

  “Babe, talk to me.”

  “Please don’t stop, Sir, please. I need this.”

  “Yeah, I think you do.” His hand gently caressed her back, and then he resumed swatting her bottom with the paddle. The thwacks mixed with her sobs. Over and over, the paddle fell, until one struck her bottom and she came apart.

  She climaxed, a blinding white light of fire blasting her body, rending her soul, and she wailed. Her tears fell fast and furiously as she sobbed. She was adrift in the sea of her emotions as they swelled up and were released.

  Sadie barely felt Ram withdraw the plug from her anus or remove the clamps from her tits. She sagged against the cross as the tidal wave of emotions she had been battling against fell down her cheeks.

  She whimpered when Ram lifted her into his arms and carried her over to a chair. She’d not even noticed he’d undone her restraints. He sat in the chair and cradled her against his chest.

  “Just let it out, babe,” he soothed.

  She melted into him, crying her heart out, letting the guilt that had been eating her alive go. When she was hiccupping quietly against his chest, he held a tissue up to her nose.

  “Blow.”

  She didn’t have the strength to fight him, even if she’d wanted to.

  “That’s better. Talk to me.”

  And because this was the place where she was supposed to be honest, she did. “The day of the accident, my husband and I had been fighting. He’d been drinking. And during our fight, he said that I wasn’t enough for him. And I replied that it was fine, because I didn’t think I could hate anyone more. Henry died thinking I hated him. I didn’t, I was just so angry and hurt that I lashed out. And because I couldn’t leave well enough alone, I took it one step further and told him I wanted a divorce.” It was the first time she had told anyone what she had done. “How could I have said those things?”

  And, if anything, she sobbed that much harder.

  “That’s it, babe. Let it all out.” Ram rubbed her back.

  Sadie did, unloading the weight she’d been carrying for two years. By the time her tears stopped, there was a peace that had entered her being. Ram had done this for her by bringing her into the lifestyle, teaching her. He’d given her a way to heal that was doing more in a short time than all the therapy in the world.

  She lifted her tear-stained face and looked at him, finding warmth, compassion, and pride in his gray depths. She placed her palm on his cheek. “Thank you, Ram.”

  “It was my pleasure. We should get you home. You’ll want to soak in a warm bath tonight, and take some ibuprofen if you have any pain or discomfort.”

  “But what about you?” She could still feel his hard length beneath her bottom.

  “Sometimes a Dom needs to care for a submissive, and in more ways than just fucking her.”

  “But… I need you, Sir. Please.” She didn’t care that she was begging him. He didn’t try to stop her when she shifted her body so she was straddling him on the chair. He palmed her butt, massaging the aching globes.

  “Sadie, I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

  Sadie was going to be militant about it. She’d learned the hard way when Henry died, and she was inundated with regrets. She didn’t want to regret not being with Ram. She rocked her hips against his jeans. “Please, I need you inside me.”

  His gaze darkened, turning pitch black with lust. She slid her hands down his chest to the waistband of his jeans. He didn’t stop her, almost like he was daring her, waiting to see how far she would take it. All the way. She undid his jeans, shoving them down far enough to free his cock.

  She fit the tip at her entrance. Their gazes locked. In a single thrust, she took him inside, gasping at how deliciously he stretched her tissues. With her hands on his shoulders for balance, Sadie began to move, slowly at first, rocking her hips.

  When Ram finally began to thrust up, gripping her hips in his hands, he joined her in their mad dance. Her hands slid around his neck. The tips of his hair brushed against her arms. Sadie knew she wasn’t going to last long. Her body was still keyed up from the paddling. Then Ram sucked one of her nipples into his mouth and she arched her back as she rode him. Her fingers slid into his hair to hold him in place at her breast.

  He bit down on her nipple and smacked her ass just as he thrust deep, and the climax rampaged through her body, ripping a cry from her mouth. Her back arched at the ecstasy riddling her form.

  With his next thrust, Ram joined her, his shaft emptying into her spasming channel.

  When she finally opened her eyes and looked at him, Sadie felt her belly drop like she was on a rollercoaster ride because in that moment, she understood with perfect clarity that she could love him. And not just a little bit, but an all-consuming, addicted to him, kind of love.

  She barely knew him, and yet her heart was at a cock-eyed angle, and she was dangling on the ledge of a mountain, where a single, innocuous push would send her falling head over heels into the deep end of the pool.

  He brushed his lips against hers. Just a gentle touch of his lips against hers, and she felt it to the core of her being.

  “We should get you cleaned up and home.”

  “I’m not going home. I told you, I have things to do at the hospital,” she said and felt the guilt return. She hated that she was lying to him. She should just tell him about Grace and that she was trying to foster her.

  “I think you should rest today. You’ve had an emotional morning. But I can see from your militant expression that nothing short of tying you to my bed for the rest of the day will keep you from going.” And with that, he lifted her off his
lap and set her on her feet.

  She looked down at herself. He was right, she did need tidying up. Maybe she should have him take her home. But then she would be late to see Grace.

  “Come on. We have time enough for a quick shower,” he said.

  “You have a shower in here?” She turned, looking around the room.

  “Yep, follow me.”

  Just beyond the bed was a door that she had failed to see before now. It was the same color as the walls and blended in with them, but beyond it was a state of the art bathroom with a tub, a large shower stall with a bench, a vanity, and toilet. Everything a body could need.

  “This club is the greatest thing since sliced bread.”

  His mouth twitched. “It has its perks.”

  He got her into the shower. He didn’t join her, though. When she looked at him longingly, he said, “Yeah, we don’t have time for another round. Not that I wouldn’t like another, but I have to pick up my kids.”

  Sadie knew he was right and entered the shower alone. After she emerged from the cubicle, he rubbed some soothing balm on her backside.

  “It will help with the pain, let you sit more comfortably tonight.”

  They dressed in silence. Sadie wrestled with her desire to tell Ram about Grace and then heard the little voice inside her head, chirping that it didn’t matter. This arrangement was temporary. She could count the days she had left with him on two hands.

  But as they left the club and Ram drove her to the hospital, Sadie realized it was never going to be enough. He was going to leave. And she was still going to want more.

  Chapter 18

  Friday morning dawned bright and sunny. Sadie’s apartment was Pine Sol fresh. Not that she was ever a slob, she tended to keep her place clean, but with the inspector coming this morning, she wanted to ensure there wasn’t a speck of dust anywhere. It was why she’d left the hospital early yesterday. She’d spent a few hours last night doing laundry and cleaning every flat surface until they all gleamed. It was why she had told Ram after their session yesterday—during which he had restrained her and tasted every square inch of her body, like he had been committing her form to memory—that she couldn’t make it today. The man had surprised her—he kept doing that—and had invited her to his house that evening to have dinner with him and his kids.

  The pot of coffee finished brewing, filling her place with the heady aroma. She had blueberry lemon muffins she had baked that morning in a colorful basket on the kitchen table in anticipation of the visit. At the knock on the door, she ran a hand down her gray slacks and headed to the door.

  Standing on her stoop was a sprite of a woman, a little plump around the midsection. Her salt and pepper hair was drawn away from her cherubic face, which wore a kind smile. “You must be Sadie Montgomery. I’m Theresa Goode with Division of Family Services, here to conduct your home inspection.”

  “Yes, thank you for coming. Why don’t you come in?” Sadie opened the door wide.

  Miss Goode had a yellow legal pad and pen in her hands, her gaze assessing as she entered the foyer.

  “If you like, I just brewed a pot of coffee and baked some muffins this morning,” Sadie said, trying not to fidget under the woman’s intelligent stare. She might look like one of the fairies from Sleeping Beauty, but she was no flighty dimwit.

  “That would be lovely, once I’m finished with the inspection. Now, this is a two-bedroom condominium. Is that correct?” Miss Goode asked.

  “Yes. Although it’s temporary,” Sadie said in a rush, her nerves getting the better of her.

  Miss Goode looked at her with a raised brow.

  “Well, if all goes well, I’m going to buy a house. A kid should have a backyard with a swing set to play on, don’t you think? And I would want to find a home with good schools nearby, since Grace would be starting pre-school in a year.” Having said that, Sadie still wasn’t certain about a dog. She wanted to get through the first few hurdles so that she could foster Grace. Then they would see about everything else.

  “That’s a nice thought. And it’s just you, no boyfriend or significant other?”

  Sadie shook her head, hoping the fact that she was single wouldn’t disqualify her. “No. I was married but he died two years ago.”

  Theresa Goode tilted her head, sympathy in her dark gaze. “I’m sorry dear. I understand. My husband died ten years ago.”

  “Does it ever get any easier?” Sadie hadn’t meant to ask, it just sort of slipped out. Because every day since Henry had died had been an uphill battle of mythic proportions. Until lately. Until Ram’s advent into her life.

  “No. Their loss is always with you. But the pain of that loss does transform, often by helping other people. And this room is where Grace would sleep?” Miss Goode asked, entering the second bedroom. Over the last few days, Sadie had transformed it into a haven for a little girl. Grace had shown a proclivity for unicorns and rainbows, so Sadie had gone with that as the theme.

  The bedspread had unicorns with rainbow manes. There was a dresser and matching nightstand which were white, but the drawer knobs were rainbow. On the nightstand was a unicorn-shaped lamp. There was a bookshelf Sadie had filled with books—and yes, she had gone a little crazy there. The woman at the bookstore had thought so when Sadie had arrived at the cash register with her haul.

  There was also a toy chest decorated with fantastical forest creatures. There were even a few toys inside.

  “Yes, this would be Grace’s room. I know it looks like I went a little overboard, but I just want to make it as easy on her as possible. Plus, the loft upstairs, I was thinking about turning into a playroom for her, once her injuries heal and she can navigate the stairs.” Sadie’s anxiety rose, making her flustered as she spoke. Miss Goode probably thought Sadie was, in a word, bat-shit crazy.

  But Theresa Goode just gave her a kind smile, her gaze picking up everything.

  “It’s nice. I’m sure a little girl, any little girl, would be thrilled to call this her room.” And then she moved on, looking in the bathrooms and in Sadie’s bedroom before taking a trip up the stairs to the loft area, leaving the kitchen for last. Sadie’s place wasn’t that large. But when she had moved to New Orleans, she hadn’t wanted to lock herself into anything permanent, like a mortgage. However, if she fostered Grace, that would change everything. It smacked of permanence and setting down roots in this state and town. For someone who had felt like a tumbleweed blowing in the wind, roots with a purpose sounded amazing.

  “I think I’m ready for the coffee now, if you don’t mind.” Miss Goode clipped her pen to her notepad.

  Sadie caught the woman eyeing the basket of muffins. Nothing like baked goods to make a good impression and butter someone up. Sadie moved over to the counter. She had already set out two of her more attractive coffee mugs, along with real cream, regular sugar, and a sugar substitute next to the coffeepot. “Not at all. How do you take it?”

  Miss Goode sat in one of the chairs, grabbed one of the small dessert plates Sadie had set out, and helped herself to a muffin. “In this instance, black, so I can have one of these muffins.”

  Sadie poured her a cup of coffee and brought it over to her at the kitchen table, where she had already selected one of the muffins and was biting into it.

  “Mmm. This is hitting the spot. Thank you for these. I like what I’ve seen, Miss Montgomery. I think you have gone above and beyond to prepare your home for a child. The only worry I would have is that you’re all alone and new to town.”

  Sadie lied. Look at me, lies come so easy these days. “One of the doctors I work with is a good friend and, if I needed help, he would be there,” she said, thinking of Luc. Why couldn’t her hormones have focused on the charismatic doctor instead of the hard to read, noble therapist?

  “That’s good. But you will need more. It will take time for you to cultivate a support system, of course. I like what I see here. I’m going to give my recommendation to Victoria and the agency will be in contact wi
th you.” Miss Goode stood and glanced at the muffins.

  Trying to sweeten the pot, Sadie asked, “Would you like to take a few to go? If I keep them here, I will just eat them all.”

  Theresa eyed her speculatively. “Aren’t you a sweet one? Maybe one for the road, if you don’t mind. Then I’d best be on my way.”

  “Sure.” Sadie grabbed a paper bag and put in two muffins. Handing the treats over, she escorted Miss Goode to her front door.

  “Thanks for these. We will be in touch.” The woman nodded and headed off.

  Once she was gone, Sadie packed a bag for the hospital. While she was stuffing items inside, including a few of the cookies she had baked last night, too, thinking Grace could use a little treat, she kept trying to figure out what the sensation was bubbling in her chest.

  With a glance into the spare bedroom, at the fantastical images on the walls, and décor, it struck Sadie like a sledgehammer. Hope. She had hope for the future, for her future, for the first time since that fateful day two years ago.

  Sadie reclined with a People magazine in her chair at Grace’s bedside while the little girl napped. That morning, the doctors had had her begin physical therapy, to help her learn how to navigate with the broken leg and arm. It had tuckered the poor thing out and she had crashed the moment they’d got back to the room thirty minutes ago. There would be more therapy once the bones were healed, but since she was a kid, she would be a lot more resilient than Sadie had been with her injuries.

  There was movement by the door, and Sadie glanced up. Doctor Luc stood in the doorframe. Luc was a succinctly beautiful man. If they were giving an award out for tall, dark, and sinfully handsome doctors, Luc would win. He stood at over six foot, his dark hair well-kept but tousled, a day’s growth of stubble lining his square jaw and shrouding an infinitely kissable mouth that was pressed into a firm line as he approached.