by Teagan Kade
I reach for the coffee, but can’t even touch the cup. “Speaking of hot, how’s that guy you’re dating from night school going?”
“The poet? He’s good. A little lethargic in the sack, but nothing a bit of rub and tug won’t fix.”
“Rub and tug?” I laugh.
“You know, shine the shotgun a little, get him ready to go.”
“If he needs a warm-up when he’s dating a hot totty like you, maybe he’s not such a keeper.”
Polly considers this, nodding. “Yeah, you’re right.” She takes out her cell, fingers moving so fast they’re heading for Mach 1.
“What are you doing?”
She hits send. “Breaking up with the idiot.”
“Like that?”
She looks at me like it was the easiest thing in the world. “Hey, I don’t have time to fuck around, Scar-baby. Poem boy can’t deliver, he’s gone. Besides, he was into bobby socks. I fucking hate bobby socks.”
“You once dressed up as an adult baby for a guy.”
She shrugs it off. “Experimentation is healthy.”
She sees I want to talk, always knows precisely when to switch the conversation. “How’s Josh?”
I scratch the top of my hand. “Actually, we broke up.”
“For real?” she asks, seriously.
“For real,” I reply.
She nods solemnly before clapping her hands together and announcing in the loudest voice possible. “Can we get some champagne up in this motherfucker?”
I reach forward and pull her back down, mortified.
“What?” she says. “I’m happy for you. Guy was a complete asshole. Let’s celebrate. Come on.”
I look around, desperately embarrassed, but that’s Polly for you. She’d run for POTUS if you pushed her. “Let’s not, but you’re right. He was an asshole.”
“He was cheating on you, wasn’t he?”
“Yes,” I reply reluctantly, the hurt still raw.
Polly taps a finger into the table. “I fucking knew it! What about Jensen? What does he make of all this?”
Jensen—I haven’t answered his calls, haven’t even bothered to let him know I’m okay. Probably busy training for the big game.
You should. You can’t just let him go like that.
I pick up my coffee now it’s managed to drop a few degrees. I need something to hold. “He came around, funnily enough, and we…”
Polly leans forward. “Whoa, are you two…?”
I grimace. “Not… exactly. We kissed, said some stuff, but he pulled away, said I was too vulnerable, that he didn’t want to take advantage of me.”
“So you’re saying he was a gentleman?”
I get defensive. “No, I’m saying he was a jerk. He rejected me, Pols. Do you know how that felt?”
“Sounds like he did the right thing. You didn’t kick him out, did you?”
I lift my coffee to hide my face. “Kind of.”
“Scar!”
“You weren’t there. It was awkward. I was angry.”
“But you like him?”
I do. He’s all I’ve been thinking, I guess.”
Polly lifts one eyebrow heavy with liner. “You ‘guess’? You’ve got to start being real with yourself, sister. Jensen’s had the hots for you from the start. Besides, he’s the hotter brother. Everyone knows that.”
“Do they?”
Polly grabs a young waitress and quite literally pulls her by the apron to our table. Poor thing almost loses a tray of drinks in the process.
“Hey there,” says Polly, “you know the Collins brothers, soccer stars, play for Victory blah-blah-blah?”
The girl looks confused, but answers “yeah” cautiously.
“Which one’s hotter? Be honest.”
She looks at Polly like she’s insane. “Ah, I guess the one with the Eagle tattoo? I can’t remember his name.”
Polly lets her go. “Am I right or am I right?” The girl runs away before any more madness unfolds.
Polly takes my coffee and places it down, holding my hands in the middle of the table. “You know I care about you, don’t you?”
“Of course
“So, you’re going to switch on those cute lil’ ears of yours and listen right up. Jensen is the one you want. You are clearly still hung up on him, but it looks to me like you need a solid kick in the ass to go get him.”
“But he’s a—”
Polly shakes her head vigorously. “No. No, no, no. Forget what everyone thinks he is. We both know it’s a show. You are the one he wants. It’s so fucking obvious. You should be together—peanut butter and jelly, Mills and Boon, Jack and Daniels.”
“What?”
She squeezes my hands. “Shut up. Listen. Stop being such a damned idiot and snap him up before some other soccer groupie does.” She reaches to the floor and fishes through my handbag, pulling out my cell and handing it over.
“What?” I exclaim. “Right now?”
“You bet your ass.”
I carefully tuck the phone away in my pocket. “I’ll call him later. I promise.”
She narrows her eyes and she’s actually really, really scary for a moment. I have genuine concern for my safety. “Oh, you better. Don’t make me kidnap Buzz again.”
*
I see Polly off on the corner, watch her head up the street on her scooter. She turns and waves, almost rear-ends a delivery truck, swerving wildly and whipping right.
I shake my head and smile, walking up the street to grab a bacon-and-egg from the bakery. It’s the day for it—bright, sunny, the odd bunny-shaped cloud kissing the tops of skyscrapers in the distance. There’s a spring in my step, and I realize it’s the promise of possibility, of what might be if I can patch things up with Jensen, continue where we so abruptly left off. The self-doubt’s there, but I’ll be damned if it’s going to ruin my day.
I cut down an alley, pop back out into the street, and that’s when I see it—Josh’s Mustang at the light.
Crap. Don’t see me. Don’t see me.
I press tight against the wall, but it’s too late. The Mustang pulls out with a screech right in front of a van, cutting across the wrong side of the road and parking up on the curb. Josh gets out and starts to run over.
I spin and head back into the alley, but there’s no way I can outrun him. He takes my wrist and turns me, pinning me against the wall. I look left and right, but there’s no one in sight. It’s just us.
He’s been drinking again. His breath is foul. “What, you weren’t even going to stop and say hello?”
Don’t struggle. “I’ve got to be somewhere, Josh. Can you let me go?”
“Where?” he demands.
I’m actually searching for an excuse before I realize I owe him nothing. “We’re not together. It’s none of your business.”
His hands fall to my sides, his grip too firm. He seems skittish, different. “Are you seeing someone, already?”
I clutch my handbag between us, steeling myself for confrontation. “Like I said, it’s none of your business.”
He places a hand on the wall beside my head. I consider getting under it, making for the end of the alley, but he’s too fast. No, I’ve got to settle this right now.
He leans into my face. “Why’d you go and hurt me, baby? I mean, we’re so good together, right? I fucking miss you.”
“You were cheating on me, Josh. I caught you.”
“Carolina? I told you. She’s nothing to me.”
“’A bit of fun’. That’s what you said.”
“Sure.”
“Do you know how insulting that is, Josh?”
His hand leaves the bricks by my head, fingers weaving into my hair. “Come on, baby. Give me another chance.”
“No.”
“Whatever you want, I’ll do it. You want me to get rid of Carolina? Easy. She’s gone.”
“I want you to leave me alone.”
He strokes my cheek. “I can’t do that.”
&nb
sp; “Josh…”
He pulls me forward and kisses me, but it’s too hard, awkward.
I swing my handbag against his ribs, struggle to get out, but he’s got hold of the back of my head, his tongue forcing its way past my lips, the bitter taste of bourbon and nicotine leaking into my mouth.
I drop my handbag and use both hands to push him away, but he won’t budge. I groan, try to cry out, but he’s covering my whole mouth, pressing and pressing.
He draws back just enough for me to get out a scream, a “Help!” before he’s back on me again.
I can’t breathe, can’t get past him. My eyes go wide in panic, searching but not seeing any way out as the hand on my hip starts to disappear down my pants.
I close my eyes, can’t allow myself to bear witness to what is about to unfold.
All of a sudden, Josh is gone with a thud.
I open my eyes and see him staggering back, clutching his jaw, a solid line of crimson running from his left nostril. He looks down the alley and there is Jensen, standing beside me, finger raised.
“Get the fuck away from her,” he warns.
I’m as surprised as Josh is. Hands on his hips, he leans forward and spits out a wad of blood, looking up at Jensen, ignoring me. “What the fuck are you doing here? This is none of your fucking concern.”
Jensen moves in front of me. “I was checking in on Scarlet, heard the commotion down here.”
Josh wipes the blood away from his nose, looking at the back of his hand, the rage building. “Checking in on her? Is that what it is now? I told you to stay away.”
Jensen takes a step towards Josh. “Good thing I didn’t, by the looks of it.”
I reach out and take Jensen’s arm. “Let’s go,” but he shrugs me off and continues to approach Josh.
“Looks to me,” he says, “like you were forcing yourself on her.”
“Jensen,” I plead, worried, but he’s set. They both are. There’s nothing stopping them now. I look back into the street, but it remains empty.
They’re only a couple of feet away from each other now, the front of Josh’s shirt stained red. He places one finger on his nose and clears it, sniffing and standing tall. “You think you’re better than me, don’t you? Always have, always getting involved in my shit.”
“Your ‘shit’,” Jensen continues, “is a human being with rights, and she sure as fuck doesn’t deserve to be treated like this.”
Josh’s mood darkens. I know the look so well, have to come to know it and steer clear. It’s as bitter as his breath, a deep-seated jealously of his brother that extends far past the field. He points to me. “She likes it rough, you know.”
Jensen’s fist clenches tight.
“Oh, that’s right,” mocks Josh, “you wouldn’t, would you?” He stabs his finger at me. “Stupid bitch never did learn to deep-throat.”
It’s the final straw.
Jensen runs forward with a roar and tackles Josh to the ground, swinging his fists into his face, the terrible sound of each impact bringing my hands to my ears.
“Jensen!” I scream.
But it was always an equal fight. Josh manages to flip Jensen over, both of them getting to their feet, and Josh manages to deliver a hard right into Jensen’s jaw.
Jensen staggers back, sees me and redoubles his efforts, hunkering down and ramming Josh in the chest, driving him against the wall so hard his feet lift from the pavement.
Josh gets his knee up into Jensen’s chest, winds him, and smashes the underside of his fist down on his head, beating him over and over.
“Jensen!” I scream again, knowing it will do nothing until one of them is unconscious.
Jensen stumbles, falls to his back, Josh kicking him hard in the side, forcing him to roll and ball up.
Get to your feet. Get to your feet.
He does, taking hold of Josh’s ankle and pulling him down, both of them somehow managing to get up before Jensen spins and whips his leg around.
The blow is sickening. Josh cartwheels over in a crumpled heap.
Jensen goes to finish it, but I call out again and he stops, shaking and breathing hard.
Josh staggers, hand out in surrender and moving away. The whole right side of his face is wet with blood, Jensen’s no better, fat drops of it scattered over the concrete around them.
Josh holds his stomach, continuing to back away. He points to Jensen. “This isn’t fucking over, you hear me?”
Jensen remains quiet, seething, a gash above his eye wide and open.
Josh hobbles towards his car, getting to the door and pulling it open.
“You’re fucking dead,” he screams, slipping into the driver’s seat and slamming the door shut, pulling away with spinning tires. He burns straight through a red, smoke billowing from the back of his car.
It clears and Jensen turns to face me in full, touching his side and wincing.
I rush forward, take him around the shoulder. He’s covered in sweat, teeth clenched tight together. “Prick still knows how to fight.”
“Didn’t look like he left in the best shape.” I’m concerned. The two of them have always been so close. Yes, they fight like any other siblings, but this is different. This is all because of me.
Jensen stumbles, almost taking me down with him he’s so heavy. His head lolls, eyes closing.
I tug him back up and together we walk to the corner. “Come on,” I tell him. “Let’s get you patched up,” knowing full well no amount of bandages or antiseptic is ever going to fix what just went down.
CHAPTER EIGHT
JENSEN
Upstairs, I collapse onto Scarlet’s sofa, careful to catch the blood dripping from my head with my hand. I’m woozy, a little light-headed, but I’ve been through worse. Once Josh broke my leg when he pushed me off the roof. Pops gave him a real good beating for that one.
Fucking Josh. He went too far, and I really don’t know if I can forgive him. The lies, the way he spoke about her. No, fuck him. He’s on his own.
Scarlet returns with a first aid kit, kneeling before me like I’ve pictured countless times before, the only difference is she’s still clothed. Her face is creased with worry. She reaches up to examine the cut above my head. “Jesus, Jensen,” she says, dabbing a cotton ball against it. “It’s really deep. I think you need stitches.”
I push her hand away gently. “No, it’s fine, honestly, a graze.”
She applies antiseptic to cotton and dabs it again. I flinch back hard.
She smiles, just a little. “And here I was thinking you were so big and tough.”
“Hey,” I smile back, the initial sting dissipating, “I’m a big marshmallow under all this muscle and testosterone, remember?”
“Promise me you’ll at least go to a doctor.”
“Maybe.”
“You boys are idiots, you know.”
“I do.”
“You looked like you were going to murder each other down there.”
Wish I had.
Concern comes over her features again as she works, concentrating with the effort, the cotton ball in her hand already soaked through. “Thanks, and I mean it. Much longer and…” she drifts off, but I know where she was going. I’d hate to think what would have gone down if I hadn’t heard her cry, hadn’t made the decision to come over this morning and work this out once and for all.
She touches my ribs and I wince again. “Tender?”
“Josh can kick and punch. What do you know?”
“He really did a number on you.”
“And I hope I sent him to the ER in return.”
She takes a strip of gauze and places it over the cut above my eye, taping it into position loosely. “You don’t mean that.”
“I do. He deserves far worse for what he did to you.”
“He’s your brother, your twin.”
I shake my head. “Doesn’t mean shit. He touches you again and I will kill him.”
Scarlet lets it go, sitting back and looking ove
r my face for which disaster zone to tackle next. “At least he didn’t damage your nose. It’s kind of cute.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Kind of?”
“You’re mildly attractive. I admit it.”
I lean forward, head spinning. “Mildly? If I recall, you were really jumping my bones the other night.”
She looks away and I know I’ve fucked up, but she turns back. “About that…”
I reach down and take her hand. “It’s my fault, but you’ve got to believe I was just looking out for you. I didn’t want to be something you regretted.”
“You? A regret?”
She bites her lip. “I thought maybe I wasn’t attractive enough, that you weren’t really into me.” She looks up shyly. “Are you, Jensen? I don’t care, but I’ve got to know.”
I say it as clear as I can. “You’re the most beautiful girl I know, Scar. You always have been. You always will be.”
“You wouldn’t think so if you saw me at 6 a.m.”
I laugh. “Morning, night, sick, healthy… You could be covered in toxic waste and still be perfect.”
“Charming.”
“It’s true.” I hold her hand tighter, desperate to get it all out now that the floodgates are open. “Do you know how many times I have dreamed about being with you, wishing you’d chosen me instead of Josh? It killed me to see you two together. It still does.”
“You’re serious?”
“You never thought about me?”
“Of course, but I was with Josh and you were…”
“Sleeping around, being an asshole. I get it.”
“When Josh and I started going out you sort of lost yourself, Jensen. You changed.”
“Well, I’m here to tell you I’m still the same guy underneath. I’m still someone you can be with.”
“Can you imagine what the press would say if we were together? They’re going to have a field day as it is with you two looking black and blue. If someone had been passing that alley…”
I take her other hand and pull her towards me, look her deep in the eyes. “I don’t fucking care. We’ll deal with it later. Right now, all I know is I want to be with you. Fuck Josh. Fuck the press. You are all that matters.