Penned State (Young Hearts Duet Book 1)

by S. I. Hayes

  As we are getting her ready to leave the hospital, there’s a knock on the door. I like how they knock, like for permission, but then just come in anyhow.

  “Hi there.” A tall, slender woman enters. “Are you Kaycee?”

  Kaycee nods, pulling on her sneakers. “Yup. What can I do for you?”

  “I’m Bonnie, Mercer. I work for the local chapter of SARC, here in Delaware.”

  “SARC? What’s that.” I ask.

  “It’s the rape crisis center,” Kaycee answers flatly. “One of you came in last night to see me, tossed a card at me.”

  “Yes, that was Wendy. She is sorry for her abruptness and didn’t mean to upset you.”

  “I wasn’t ready to be talking to anyone. I’d just come to after being brutalized.”

  “Yes, and I understand. I’m sorry, but we are here to help. In any way, you may need.”

  Kaycee stands up with a hard sigh. “Honestly? I just want to put this as far behind me as I can. Thank you, though.”

  “Well, I have a packet here, would you humor me in taking it at least?”

  “Sure.” She answers with an eye roll.

  Bonnie hands it to me as Kaycee goes into the bathroom, dragging the IV pole with her. “If she needs anything, we’re just a phone call away. Same goes for you.”

  “But I wasn’t-”

  “No, but you may find your whole world is about to change.”

  “Thank you, Bonnie.”

  She nods and takes her leave, just as the nurse returns with the wheelchair so we can blow this joint.

  Chapter 24

  Kaycee

  I’m gonna lose my shit. All I do now is sleep or cry when no one looks. I’m trying desperately to not shrink away from the touch of others.

  I’m just getting off the phone when Cal comes in to check on me. He’s been ditching lunch to come home to bring me my guilty pleasures. Cheesesteaks from The Cheese Steak factory with extra bacon, provolone, peppers, and mushrooms. He also gets a bucket of cheese fries and Iced Tea to wash it all down. I don’t think I could love him more right now.

  “Hey, I got grub, who was that?” He asks curiously. I hadn’t been taking calls, so seeing me on the phone is odd for him.

  “That?” I say, watching as he dumps out the food. “My store manager Rudy. He said that I could have all the time off I need. That they were gonna pay me for it too. Guess they’re afraid I’m gonna sue or some shit. I’d never do that. What happened wasn’t their fault. He also said that if I wanted to transfer to another shop, he would understand. That I will probably do.” I touch my face. I’m gonna have a scar on my cheek from where Heath cut me. He saw to it.

  “That’s probably best. Detective Rice had me pulled from second period.”

  I raise a brow.

  “Wanted to let me know that no charges were being brought against me for my vandalism or shit faces’ injury.”

  My boyfriend, in my defense, saw to ending my attacker’s baseball career with the front bumper of the Santa Fe. “Good. I’m glad he’s still in the hospital. I wish he’d been killed. Though jail is probably gonna do him wonders. A pretty boy like him, I’m sure he’ll get to do plenty of butt stuff.” I stuff the sandwich into my mouth with a half-grin.

  “That’s a healthy way to look at it.” Cal chuckles. “I think that’s the first smile I’ve seen since we got you home.”

  I instantly frown. “I’m sorry. I know that this is not easy for you.” I put down the tasty num, nums. “Sleeping next to someone that won’t let you touch her.”

  “I spent fourteen years not touching you like that. I think I can hold out.”

  “You shouldn’t have to, though. I’d understand if you need to seek it elsewhere.”

  Cal looks at me like I’ve just shot him in the chest. “Kayce, none of that matters. All that matters is that you are gonna be okay. That you’re here, that you don’t shut me out completely.”

  I nod. My sleep has been broken except when he’s in bed with me. It’s the only time I feel safe. “Will you lay down with me? Just till I fall asleep?”

  “Of course,” Cal answers sweetly. We eat, and then he climbs into bed with me. Holding me and stroking my hair until the world falls away and darkness takes hold.

  ***

  I wake up covered in sweat and trembling. I’ve had another nightmarish rehash of what happened. Every time it happens, it’s more vivid. The sounds of him grunting against me. His breath on my back. The pain in my body as he tore me up. It’s almost three. Cal won’t be home until after nine. He’s got work up at the Verizon store. I’m edgy. I need to do something. Heading down the hall, I see mom and grandpa watching tv. I look around desperately for an escape. Seeing the car keys, I grab them, my shoes, and am out the door. I’m not sure where I’m going until I’m here. The local WYMCA, which according to the cards from Bonnie and Wendy, also happens to be the local chapter of SARC’s location.

  I park and go inside. Looking around, I see the signs that point in the right direction. I follow, then walk into the SARC waiting area. There are women buzzing around like little worker bees. I hesitate and turn ready to tuck tail when I hear my name.

  “Kaycee?”

  I look back, seeing Miss Warner, Cal’s Physics teacher. “Christ,” I whisper, looking at myself. Ratty clothes, hair all jacked up. No makeup. I look like a bag lady. “Hi, um I was- just.”

  “It’s okay.” She puts out her hand to me. “You want a bottle of water, soda? Maybe a cup of hot tea?” Her voice is gentle. Kind. I need a little kindness right now. I let her lead me past the front desk.

  “A coke? You work here too?” I ask, confused.

  “I volunteer as a peer group leader.”

  “Peer?”

  She smiles shortly. “I’m an abuse survivor. So I have a bit of insight, I suppose. I connect with the others here in ways some of the other SARA’s don’t.”

  I nod. Taking the cold Coke. “I don’t even know why I’m here.”

  “Because you need to be. We’re here for you. If you need to talk, one on one, groups, whatever you need.”

  “Groups?” I ask, unsure.

  “Yes, you’d be surprised how many young people are affected by some kind of sexual trauma every day, even in a town as small as Cradle Bay. My open talk group has space. If you’d like to sit in.”

  I think I’d like that.” I smile.

  Chapter 25

  Calvin

  A week until prom. I told Kaycee we didn’t have to go, but she’s insisted that it’s important. That it’s part of getting back to normal. She’s started going over to the WYMCA three days a week. She attends a couple of groups and is seeing someone on an individual basis. I’m thankful she’s talking to someone, even if that person isn’t me. We’ve started looking at apartments online for after graduation. Totally her doing. I am not trying to pressure her in any way. She’s slowly getting back to being the smiling, joking girl I’ve known all my life. Due mostly in part to Heath’s pleading no contest to the rape and assault. They had him dead to rights with DNA, and the video cameras in the shop. There was no sense in a drawn-out trial. He’s in county lockup pending his sentence, confined to a wheelchair because they won’t let him have crutches.

  I’m sitting in the living room with Tracie and grandpa Compton when a Zale’s commercial comes on. I hadn’t altered my plans to propose. It has just been in the back of my head, with the more pressing matters at hand.

  I clear my throat gaining their attention. Kayce is at her meeting, so it’s just the three of us. “Well, guess I’m on it now.” I chuckle.

  “You got something to say, boy?”

  “Yeah, actually, I do. I stand up, as to be taken seriously. “As you know, Kayce and I are going to be leaving in just a couple of months.”

  Nods from them, an eyebrow raise from Tracie.

  “Well, I’ve thought about this, and I want to ask your permission for us to get married.”

  Crickets.

/>   “Look- I’m not going into this lightly. I know it’s gonna be hard. But we are gonna be living together. If we’re married we can get Student subsidy, and other help as well.”

  “You don’t have any idea what marriage would be like. You can’t just walk away from marriage.” Tracie says bitterly.

  “Trace, stop. Don’t project what happened with you and that bum on to these two.”

  She goes to speak, but he silences her. “You wanna marry? Now?”

  “I’m thinking that depends on Kaycee; I want to at least get engaged. That makes us look better to potential landlords, and well, I’ve already bought the ring.”

  Chapter 26

  Kaycee

  “I just can’t shake it. This feeling that if I’d just been smarter.”

  “Kaycee, what happened wasn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Miss Warner says to me as we sit in the Open talk group.

  “I know you say that, but if I’d have followed procedure that night, not let Rosie leave early…”

  “Are you going to go back on that loop?” Micha is a fourteen-year-old boy who was raped by his uncle for six years before he finally spoke up, starts. “We are the ones who were hurt. Taken advantage of, terrorized. We have to stop giving the predators a pass based on our own behaviors.” He looks at me intently. “I was told every time he violated me that if I wasn’t so damn cute, he wouldn’t have had to do it. Look at me.” Half his face is cut up and scared. He put his head through a mirror when he was twelve, in hopes it would deter his rapist. He was raped again while in the hospital, which was when they caught the bastard, finally.

  “I’m sorry, Micha,” I whisper.

  “Don’t apologize to me. Apologize to you. C’mon, Kaycee, you need to forgive yourself for that night and thank that boyfriend for putting a car through the fucker.”

  I chuckle. Micha was passionate. He was an advocate. He was a formidable ally.

  “There ya go. If I was you, I’d go home and make sweet, sweet love to that sexy boy, and remember what it is like to be with a person who loves you, for real.”

  “We have Prom coming. He’s gone all out.” I say with genuine cheer. “I never thought I’d be excited to go to a school function, but since the incident, things have been better for us at school. They named Cal, Valedictorian. He’s gonna have to give a speech and everything.” I say my hands in my lap.

  “There you go.” Miss Warner chirps. “Looking forward is good. Let’s break it there for the day. There are refreshments provided by Marci’s bakery this week.”

  We separate, and Micha comes over to me and hugs me. I settle into him. His hugs are good. Warm. Safe. He pulls back, and we walk over to the baked goodies. Miss Warner catches me as I got to sit.

  “Hey? You got a minute?”

  “Sure.” I look back at Micha, and he waves at me to go stuffing a tartlet in his mouth.

  “Not that it’s my business, but do you plan to tell the group?”

  “Tell them what?” I say, as my eyes follow hers to my hand on the small bump I’m forming. I’ve been wearing big shirts and a lot of yoga pants lately. But the instinct to protect the growing life in me seems stronger than I realize. “I- how did you?”

  “I caught you in silhouette against the backlight. Noticed the pooch. We’re trained to spot this sorta thing; sometimes girls come in and don’t’ understand what’s happening. Was it?”

  “Oh, no, Cal. It was before. I’m ten weeks. I think.”

  “You think? Haven’t you been to an OBGYN?”

  I shake my head.

  “Would you like to?”

  “I dunno. I mean, what can they tell me other than yup, bun in the oven?”

  “Oh, honey. C’mon, we’ll go now.”

  “Now, but don’t I like-need an appointment?”

  “I’m assuming you don’t plan to tell Tricia yet?”

  I nod vehemently.

  “Planned Parenthood in Wilmington is just fifteen minutes up the road. They have later hours today. If we go now, we can get in.”

  “Oh-Okay.” I stutter and let Miss Warner lead me outside. “Do you want me to drive, or do you feel more comfortable doing it?”

  “I- I guess we can go in your car.”

  She nods. “You should probably call me April, after all, it’s not like we’re at the school anymore.” She says, leading me to her Tahoe.

  Fifteen minutes and I’m in the front offices of my first Planned Parenthood. A stack of paperwork in front of me. Miss Warn- April helps me fill out the financial stuff, and by six-fifteen, I’m on a cold metal table with some lady all up in my hoo-ha!

  “Okay, you’re gonna feel a little pressure; it’s totally normal.”

  April holds my hand, and the exam is conducted. I’m lying there, and this doctor turns a monitor to me. “It would seem you’re approximately thirteen weeks along. According to the date of your last actual period in January.” She goes on. “Things look good. See this?”

  She points to the monitor. “See that? That’s your baby.”

  My eyes pop, seeing the bulbous head and little body. “That head is HUGE! Is that normal?”

  The doctor laughs. “Completely. Would you like to hear its heartbeat?”

  I squeeze April’s hand. “Please.”

  She turns on the sound, and an echoing sound like hummingbirds wings fills the room. “It’s so fast.”

  “Healthy?” April asks.

  “So far, so good. Though I would stress starting a prenatal vitamin. How is your morning sickness?”

  “I haven’t really had any. Is that bad?” I ask, concerned.

  “No, just makes you a lucky momma to be.” She hits print on the screen and after getting me situated, hands me a copy of what we had seen. “Baby’s first selfie.” She smiles.

  “We can give you your first month of vitamins. You can get more over the counter, or if you’d rather pick them up when you come back in, that’s fine too.”

  “Back?”

  “There is a continuation of care here, Kaycee. We will help monitor your journey through this pregnancy.”

  “What if I move away? I’m supposed to go to Pennsylvania with the father.” I touch my belly.

  “We can transfer your records to any Planned Parenthood in the country. You just let us know when and where.”

  “Thank you.”

  “No problem. Do you have any questions?”

  “Not really. I mean, what is there to know? I’m due in early October; I need to eat well, get plenty of fluids, and sleep. Keep stress low and take the vitamins.”

  “There’s more to it, but I think you’ll be okay for now. We have a booklet you can take home or online info if you please.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You are welcome. See you back here in say two weeks?”

  “I have exams.”

  “Right, high school.” The doctor says shortly. “How’s May Sixth? And again on the twentieth?”

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  Chapter 27

  Calvin

  The house is in upheaval. My Uncle Douglas wasn’t kidding when he said he’d take care of us. A salon bus appeared last night, and that was the last I saw of my soon to be fiancée. They even took Tracie and gave her a new do’ and mani-pedi for the occasion.

  I got a fresh clip, making my ponytail far less ratty. My goatee is now perfectly edged as they waxed my face! That shit hurt! But I do have to say it looks better, and my cheeks are smoother than my ass! I may have to keep up with the waxing if these are typical results.

  It’s an hour till we have to arrive when I hear the front door open.

  “Cal?” It’s my uncle.

  I come out, surprised to see him. “What are you doing?” He cuts me silent showing me the ring. Tracie gasps her hand to her heart. “You alright?” The box claps close as it’s put it to my hand.

  “You must be Tracie McLane. Kaycee’s mother.” He smiles his debonair smile and takes her hand
gently. “I see where she gets her beauty from.”

  “T-thank you.” Tracie blushes.

  “Oh, bother.” I snicker. “Really?”

  “Shush boy. Go get done; you have pictures in twenty.”

  “Pictures?”

  “Of course, I hired a photographer. They scouted out a beautiful spot up the way, a covered bridge, with climbing ivy and honeysuckle in bloom.”

  “Uh-huh.” I shake my head and go to finish up. Heading outside, I wait, with the rest of her bouquet of roses. Yup, I had those freshmen for hire, and they did a wonderful job. She comes out, and I lose my breath. The dress looks phenomenal on her, and her hair is curly! Half swept up, off her face, as a sapphire tiara crowns her head. The earrings sparkle, and her makeup is low key, pretty, except for her lips; they are ruby red and sparkling.

  Her eyes light up, seeing me, and that bottom lip disappears into her mouth. It seems like me; she likes what she sees. I go to her with the flowers, and she kisses my cheek.

  “You look so handsome.”

  “Thank you, gorgeous.”

  We get into the limo and start our ride toward the covered bridge. It’s a really nice spot, and I’m surprised more people don’t use it for pictures.

  Getting out first, I help Kaycee. She’s got a little clutch bag with her. It’s weird because she doesn’t usually carry a purse.

  “I have a gift for you.” She sparkles.

  “Yeah, okay.” I can’t stop smiling like a fool. I have the ring. I plan to pop the question before we go into the prom.

  We pose a few times, and the photographer talks us through how to move, we take a short break for him to change his lens, and that’s when she lays her gift on me.

  Opening her clutch, she pulls out a little envelope. “Here.”

  I crook a curious brow. Opening it, I’m faced with the first picture of our baby, and it brings me to my knees.

  “Oh, my God! Are you alright?” Carlos, the photographer, asks concerned.

  “I- that’s our baby?” I say louder than I should.

  Uncle Douglas, who offered to chaperone this little excursion, laughs. “You’re pregnant?” His hands clasp together. “I’m gonna be a Great Uncle!”