Trouble in Loveland (The Loveland Series Book 1)

by Jennifer Peel

  Kaye squeezed my hand as several eyes focused on me. I nervously tucked my hair behind my ear and smiled. What else could I do? I wished that was the worst of it. Presents were next. Victoria wanted to get that out of the way before the kids went to play. I don’t know if that was a good call. They were all chomping at the bit to head out to the bounce houses. Not even cake or ice cream seemed very enticing to them. Josh’s friends were generous, and it was all well and good until Josh liked my present more than his mom’s. She had bought him some educational tablet that I’m sure was very expensive. Josh kind of tossed it aside and then opened my gift. He immediately wanted to put on the jersey, and he was really excited about going to the game. Victoria wasn’t happy at all. She wished me dead with her eyes when Josh ran to me and hugged me.

  “Thank you, Cherry.”

  “Her name is Charlee,” his mom corrected him.

  “I don’t mind him calling me Cherry,” I said quietly.

  “I want him to talk properly.”

  I looked up at Ryan, who was standing near Victoria trying to get some guidance on how to proceed.

  “It’s just a nickname he has for her.” I knew he didn’t want to say anything. I was surprised he did.

  “Well, I think it’s darling.” Kaye squeezed her grandson before he ran back to open the rest of his gifts.

  The other adults in the room were looking between the two camps like this was some sort of ping pong match. Thankfully, Victoria left it alone. I didn’t want to have to tell Josh he couldn’t call me that. I was quite fond of it.

  I was happy when they released the kids to the play area. The party room had become suffocating to me. Kaye and I stood nearby and watched Josh play with his friends. Ryan joined us after he oversaw the cleaning up of the party room.

  He surprised me by standing by me and holding my hand and kissing the side of my head. “I’m looking forward to taking Josh to that game with you.”

  “You think the third ticket was for you?”

  He smiled and squeezed my hand.

  “Me, too.” I squeezed back.

  All was well and good for about two seconds.

  Josh came running up to me. “Cherry, will you bounce with us?”

  I felt Ryan squeeze my hand tighter, so I looked at him before answering his son. He didn’t say anything, but it was like his eyes pleaded with me not to.

  I shook my head at Ryan. “I’ve never been one to stand on the sidelines. I’m not changing that for anyone.” Especially not Victoria.

  Ryan’s eyes registered understanding, but I knew what he was thinking. Victoria wasn’t going to like it.

  I let go of his hand and turned back to Josh. “I would love to.”

  “Me, too,” said Kaye.

  I turned to her and smiled. “Rock on, Grandma.”

  We both took off our shoes to the turned-up noses of Victoria and her cronies. I didn’t care. I was tired of this game. I took Josh’s hand, and we made our way to the bounce house that looked like a fire truck—it was his favorite. I didn’t even bother looking at Ryan. If he wanted me to be someone I wasn’t around Victoria, then we had a problem, a big problem.

  I had a great time bouncing with Josh, his friends, and his wonderful grandma. Josh had me teach his friends “Ring Around the Rosy”. They all giggled as we all fell down. I didn’t bother looking at the adults. I knew they were staring at me. I could feel it, but this was who I was.

  When Josh and his friends moved on to the ball pit, Kaye and I took up seats on one of the benches while Ryan talked to Alec and Jonathon.

  Kaye looked between her son and me. “You know, a long time ago he would have been the first one to jump.”

  I met her concerned eyes. “I think I embarrass him.”

  “Nonsense. He would be a fool to be embarrassed by you.”

  “I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like he wants me to be someone else.”

  “I hope you don’t mean Victoria.”

  “That’s exactly who I mean.”

  “No. He was miserable with her.”

  “Are you sure?”

  She took my hand. “I’m sure. I see the way he looks at you. Sometimes people get into patterns with how they deal with people. They’re unhealthy habits, and they’re hard to break.”

  “Maybe you should be the psychologist.” I smiled.

  “No. I’ve just been around for a long time. Getting older has some benefits.”

  “I don’t think Ryan sees their relationship as anything but healthy.”

  “Well, then he’s a fool.”

  Maybe, I thought to myself.

  The car ride home was pretty quiet. Josh was worn out and sleeping, and Ryan’s mom was texting her husband.

  Ryan reached over and held my hand. “Hey, thanks for coming today and for the great gift you gave Josh.”

  I didn’t say anything other than to nod my head in acknowledgment. I was watching the clouds roll in. There was a storm coming. You could feel the snow that was brewing.

  “Jonathon and Osanna invited me over for Thanksgiving so I can be with Josh.”

  My heart sank. I was happy for him, but I guess my plans for skiing and getting cozy in front of the fireplace went out the window. I was also hoping we would spend one holiday together. I knew he and Josh were going to D.C. for Christmas to spend it with his family.

  “That’s nice.” I stared out the window. My insides churned, like the gathering clouds.

  “Do you think that’s wise?” his mom asked.

  “I don’t see any harm in it,” Ryan answered. “I’m thankful for the invite. I hate spending the holidays away from Josh.”

  “Hmmm,” his mom replied.

  I stayed silent. I hated that he had to be away from Josh, but something seemed off about all of it. I felt like Victoria had ulterior motives, but what could I say about it?

  Ryan came around and opened my door for me when we got to his house.

  “Thank you.” I kissed him on the cheek. “I think I’m going to head home. I’m tired.”

  “What about my surprise?”

  “Oh . . . it was nothing. I’ll see you later.”

  He reached out for my hand when I walked away and pulled me back. “You can come back later if you want.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Charlee?”

  “I’m fine,” I lied, and he knew it. His eyes were full of concern.

  I walked home slowly and wondered what I was doing and if there was any hope for Ryan and me.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  The following week was Thanksgiving, and I had kept my distance from Ryan. I was confused. Josh’s party had made me realize that I had perhaps been more optimistic about our relationship than I should have been.

  Felicity and my dad had tried to get me to talk to them, but I didn’t know how to put it into words. Heck, even Ryan tried to get me to talk about it, but I didn’t know what to say to him exactly.

  I took to spending my time with Krissy, who was now past the puking stage. She had a nice little baby bump going. She was due on April 6 and had just found out she was having a girl. Ann was in pink heaven, and the baby already had two wardrobes. I admit, I had bought my fair share, too. Baby girl stuff was too cute. The Lawtons and now the Wallaces, took pity on me and invited me for Thanksgiving. I was benevolent and gave my tickets for a romantic day on the slopes to my dad and Felicity.

  I think they felt a little guilty taking them. My dad was torn about whether he should spend the holiday with me, but I insisted. Being around the two lovebirds was making me green with envy. It’s a sad life when your dad has a hotter romance than you do. I was kind of used to it. I watched my mom date more than me through college. I had a feeling I would soon have a stepmother. I might even consider Felicity a stepmom if she and my dad got married, although I didn’t like that title; I would think of her as mother the second. Or maybe mother the first if my own mom didn’t straighten up. She was still ignoring me since the summer whe
n my dad let her have it.

  Can you see why I needed to become a psychologist? I lived a functional dysfunctional life.

  Ryan asked me to go for a run with him Thanksgiving morning before we each went our separate ways. I felt like I couldn’t say no. I had been putting him off since Josh’s party. I had made sure I stayed busy with Krissy, which meant I had a lot of ice cream the past week, so a run was in order. And it’s not that I didn’t want to see him. I did. My problem was I was in love with a man, but I wasn’t quite sure how he felt about me, and to top it off, he came with an ex-wife that got in the way in more ways than one.

  We met behind the fence. It wasn’t a bad morning for November. It was clear and crisp, but not cold.

  Ryan greeted me with a kiss on my cheek. “There’s my long-lost girlfriend. I was beginning to think I would only see you in the office.”

  I smiled, but I didn’t really feel it. “I’ve been busy.”

  “I’ve noticed.”

  I took off running, and he followed.

  “Charlee, are you upset with me?”

  “No.”

  “Are you upset that I’m spending Thanksgiving with Victoria’s family?”

  “No. I mean I don’t know. I’m happy you get to be with Josh, but how would you feel if, say, I was spending the day with Jay?”

  He thought for a moment. “It would be off-putting for me, but this is different.”

  “How?”

  “Because these people are family to me.”

  I didn’t answer him. I guess he had a point. Not as valid as he thought, but I didn’t push it further.

  “Do you want to come with me?” He was more than hesitant to ask.

  “We both know that’s not a good idea.”

  He gave me a knowing look.

  I sighed.

  Our run was mostly a silent affair.

  At the end, he pulled me to him and wrapped me up. “Charlee,” he whispered in my ear. “Please tell me what you want. I don’t like it when we’re apart.”

  I sank into him. I missed him, too. “Ryan, I want to know that we’re on the same page.”

  “What page is that?”

  “The one where I mean as much to you as you mean to me.”

  “My mom told me that you thought I was embarrassed by you. Is that what this is all about? Because that’s not the case. Any man in his right mind would be proud to call you his girlfriend, and I am.”

  “It’s more than that, Ryan, and you don’t need to answer right away, but I need to know how you feel about me.”

  “Charlee, where is all this coming from? I’m happy with where we’re at. You know how much I care about you.”

  I reached up and kissed him once, softly on the lips. “Have a Happy Thanksgiving.”

  He cradled my face in his hands and peered into my eyes. “You, too. I’ll call you later, or better yet, I’ll come by. Please say yes.”

  I nodded my head. He smiled and kissed me goodbye.

  The whole next week I just went along with him and pretended like everything was grand and I had nothing to worry about. Ryan was doing his best to be overly attentive. Normally I would have been into it, but it didn’t come from the place I wanted it to come from. He was doing it because he was worried. I had no doubt he cared for me, but I knew he didn’t love me and I loved him, and that was a problem for me. If he loved me, he would have said it Thanksgiving morning. Right?

  I almost did, just to get it out in the open and because it was hurting me to keep it inside. There was the part of me that said, Quit sweating this, you’ve only been dating for just over four months, you have plenty of time.

  It didn’t matter because the following Friday it all came to a head. It’s funny how life has a way of working it all out, even if it sucks. Ryan was in major boyfriend mode. Lunch dates every day that week, flowers, major make-out sessions in front of his fireplace. Then I got a very interesting phone call Friday afternoon as I sat wanting to poke my eyes out and reminding myself that in a month I would only be doing this part-time and I would be studying my favorite subject (other than Ryan).

  “Hello.”

  “Charlee, sweetie, it’s Kaye.”

  “Hi. It’s so nice to hear from you. How are you?”

  “Perfect, dear. I was calling to get some ideas from you about what kinds of foods you like and if there is anything special you want us to have here while you visit.”

  “I’m sorry, I’m a little confused. I mean, I would love to come and visit you, but I didn’t know I was.”

  She paused. “Oh . . . Well I guess I thought Ryan would have asked you by now. I told him before I left there that I wanted you to come with him and Josh for Christmas.”

  My heart hurt, literally. It was beating wildly out of control. “I guess this is awkward. Ryan hasn’t mentioned anything.”

  “I’m sure he will,” she said without any confidence.

  “It’s okay.”

  “No, it’s not. I need to have a talk with my son.”

  “Oh . . . please don’t.”

  Before his mother could respond, the pig showed up at my door, all smiles. “Hey, Charlee.”

  “Can I call you back? Your son is here.”

  Ryan’s smile faded when I glared at him and he realized who I was talking to.

  “Don’t go easy on him,” she said before I hung up.

  “That was your mom.”

  He shut my door and approached me cautiously.

  “She was asking me what kinds of things I liked, you know, for our trip there during Christmas.”

  He stepped closer and sat at the edge of my desk. He looked like a kid who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “It’s not what you think. I was going to ask you, but Victoria has never been away from Josh on Christmas and it’s difficult for her and she asked if maybe she could come and—”

  “And you told her no, right?”

  “I told her I would think about it. It’s not like we would stay together. She would get a hotel room.”

  I shook my head. “Do you hear how ridiculous this sounds? I can’t do this anymore.”

  He reached out to touch me. I scooted my chair back and away from him.

  “Don’t do this, Charlee. I want to talk to you about this, but I have an important meeting in ten minutes. I was coming to ask you if you could get Josh for me,” he said sheepishly. “His school is closing early because of the winter weather they’re predicting, and Victoria’s driving back from Denver and won’t make it back in time.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Fine.” I stood up.

  “As soon as my meeting’s over, I’ll come home and we’ll talk.”

  I ignored him and grabbed my purse and coat.

  He embraced me, but I stayed stiff. “Be careful. I’ll see you soon. And we’ll work all this out. I promise.” I felt him kiss the top of my head.

  I almost sucker punched him before I walked off, ignoring him.

  I stomped to my car. The snow was beginning to fall. I wrapped my coat tightly around myself and willed myself not to cry. I did not cry over men, especially stupid ones.

  On my drive over to Josh’s preschool, I kept running through my head all the things I wanted to say to Ryan later. First on my list was how blind he was to Victoria’s manipulation. She said jump, and he asked how high.

  The roads were decent on my twenty-minute drive over to the school, but the snow wasn’t letting up and it was cold enough to stick. I hoped they wouldn’t get too bad before we got home.

  Josh was excited to see me. It was the highlight of my day seeing him running toward me and wrapping his arms around my legs. It made my heart ache, though. Ending things with Ryan meant not having Josh in my life, and I’ll admit I had been picturing myself being in his life forever. I thought maybe we could trade Cherry in for mom one day, even though I knew his mom would hate it. Don’t cry, I told myself.

  “Are you ready to go home, big guy?” I bent down and helped him with his coat
and gloves.

  “Yes.” He nodded that cute head of his.

  I realized how much he had grown since the summer. His cheeks weren’t as chubby anymore and he had gotten taller. I kissed his smooth cheek before I stood up and took his hand. We braved the cold and snow. The wind had picked up. It was almost white-out conditions. I carefully buckled Josh into the high-back booster seat I had been keeping in my car. Krissy had made fun of me, telling me I was such a mom. I wouldn’t mind being one. I couldn’t imagine loving a kid more than Josh.

  “Will you make psghetti tonight?” Josh asked from the back seat as I carefully exited the school parking lot.

  I smiled. I loved how he still said words wrong. He did that less and less now. I was going to miss it when he started speaking correctly all the time. “Yep. Will you help me?”

  “Yes,” he said like it was obvious. He loved helping us cook, even if it was something simple like stirring. Us, I sighed. I didn’t know if after tonight there would be an us.

  The roads were getting slick, and fast; it was also getting harder to see. The school was only ten minutes from both our homes, but everyone was driving at a snail’s pace, which was good. I was a ball of nerves as we drove. I hated driving in this kind of weather. Josh, on the other hand, was enjoying himself. He was singing “Frosty the Snowman” in the backseat. He was missing half the words, but I liked it that way.

  Halfway home, I slid a tad stopping for a red light. The car jerked a little, but it was okay. I took a deep breath. Only a couple more miles I told myself.

  “Fire truck.” Josh pointed out.

  I looked over to see the newly built fire station. I bet they were going to be busy today with accidents. No sooner had I thought it then I looked in my rearview mirror to see a car behind me that was going a too fast for the conditions. It was like slow motion, although it happened so fast. They tried to brake, and then lost control. I braced myself, which probably wasn’t the best thing, but it all happened so fast, and all I could think of was Josh. I called his name when the car hit the back of my car, sending my car into the back of the truck in front of me.