Trouble in Loveland (The Loveland Series Book 1)

by Jennifer Peel

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  So, all in all, it was not the jolliest of Christmas seasons, but I survived. At least my dad was blissfully happy; Felicity said yes. I tried my best to be happy for them, and I was. But it’s hard to see the people around you so dang happy and in love. It seemed like everyone was. Krissy and Chance were still in the honeymoon phase, even though she was getting big. The baby had nowhere to go but out. She was a cute pregnant lady, and Chance waited on her hand and foot. Even Maviny and Mason had significant others.

  I didn’t see Ryan and Josh, though I did have some contact. On Christmas morning I received a text with a picture of Josh opening his gifts and a message that read, Merry Christmas. We miss you . . . I miss you. I didn’t even know how to respond to that. It was weird he would say such a thing with Victoria with him. I hoped she was treating him well—she never seemed to, yet that’s what he wanted. Idiot.

  My dad also wouldn’t let me off the hook when it came to corresponding with Ryan at work. My dad got me set up with a secure connection at home, so I could work from there, but I still had to report to Ryan. It was all business, but I found myself staring at his dumb name on my screen more often than I cared to admit.

  My mom finally got around to calling me. I guess she missed me for Christmas. She didn’t apologize, she kind of pretended like nothing ever happened. I was too emotionally exhausted to do anything but play along. She wasn’t happy I was going back to school. Psychology was a useless degree in her mind.

  Going back to school was the only thing that kept me from going crazy. It was a reminder that someday I wouldn’t have to be an accountant or work with Ryan. It gave me something to look forward to. I mean, sure I was looking forward to yet another wedding, but I already warned Felicity if she even thought about tossing me her bouquet, she would rue the day. She touched my cheek in that “my poor, poor girl” sort of way. And then there was the baby who was going to have the best middle name ever, to look forward to, but I needed something of my own, and school was it. I was a nerd and bought my textbooks early and took to reading them. It’s not like I had anything better to do. Watching my dad and Felicity canoodle on the couch was getting nauseating.

  The basement and Krissy’s townhome became my go-to places. It was nice that Chance had to work a lot of evenings. I needed Krissy now more than ever. We did things like yoga for pregnant mommies. My pelvic floor muscles were stronger than ever from all the Kegel exercises we were doing. I wouldn’t be wetting my pants anytime soon.

  “You know, Aidan is still available,” Krissy said as we lay on the floor strengthening our lady areas.

  “I’m surprised. He seems like a great catch.”

  “Just not for you.”

  “I know, I have issues.” I rubbed the noodle necklace around my neck to prove my point. People thought I was ridiculous for wearing it everywhere, but I didn’t care.

  “I don’t know about that. Ryan is pretty yummy. Jerky, but yummy.”

  “I wouldn’t call him jerky, maybe blind and stupid.”

  “Obviously.”

  “It isn’t only Ryan, though. I miss Josh, too. I more than miss him. I ache to hold him in my arms.”

  She looked over at me with pity. “Are you sure it’s not for the best? I mean, do you really want to be a mom right off the bat?”

  “Yes.” I didn’t even have to think about it. “I never imagined I would, but just having a taste of it was so amazing. Krissy, you’re so lucky you get to be a mom. I know it was sooner than you wanted, and I know I wasn’t Josh’s mom, but I saw myself someday being a mother figure and being married to his stupid dad, who I love and can’t get out of my head.”

  Krissy reached over and held my hand. I turned to her and cried like a baby. I did that more often than I wanted to admit. For someone that didn’t cry often, I had more than made up for it the last month.

  “Oh, sweetie. It will be okay.”

  “Will it? Because sometimes I wonder, which is stupid because it makes me sound pathetic.” I was snottily crying now, and Krissy’s shirt kind of became my Kleenex.

  She patted my back. “You’re the least pathetic person I know. I promise, it will get better. I know it may not seem like that now, but it will. Do you want some ice cream?”

  “No,” I laughed. “I haven’t run in a month. I need to purge ice cream from my diet.”

  “Are you sure? Because the baby really wants some.”

  “I love you, Krissy.”

  “I know, CJ. Now let’s have ice cream.”

  I know most people didn’t look forward to starting school, but for me it was a lifeline. I was even a dork and set out my clothes the night before I began and I had my bag packed to perfection.

  Ryan sent me a little note with my last email of the day before I started classes. I was working Monday, Wednesday, Friday and going to school on Tuesdays and Thursdays. He said, CSU is lucky. Good luck.

  It was nice, but I wanted it to say, I love you and I can’t live without you. It was a pipe dream, I know.

  So school . . . it was amazing and just what the doctor ordered. I needed something else to focus on, and my teachers were more than happy to give out plenty of homework. It did the job well, kind of.

  I was waiting for my behavioral psychology professor to cover the material that would give me the magic bullet that would fix my Ryan disorder, but no such luck. It had only been a few classes, though, so maybe we would get to it. It was my favorite class. Professor Yost was a retired therapist who I guess wasn’t quite ready to hang up his hat. He had the best stories to tell. I pegged him for the kind of professor you could get to go off on a tangent, which would keep you from the real work at hand. That could be good and bad.

  I was getting into a routine. Tuesdays and Thursdays, I could be found on campus all day; if I wasn’t in class, I was set up on one of the empty tables in the social science building studying. I was a freak about getting A’s in every class, so I put a lot of effort and energy into school. I kind of got lost in it, which is why I was more than startled when I had a visitor one Thursday afternoon. I was engrossed in my chapter on substance abuse before my behavioral psychology class, and it was like he fell out of the sky. I looked up, and to my ever-living surprise, there sat Ryan.

  I was too stunned to speak. He sat there across the small table from me, with his dazzling smile, like this was normal. Gosh, did he look good. He was wearing his long gray wool overcoat. I always found it sexy.

  “Hi.” He simply greeted me.

  I closed my book and inadvertently touched the noodle necklace around my neck.

  Ryan looked at my hand and smiled.

  “What are you doing here?” The butterflies in my stomach said, Who cares? Yay, our Ryan’s here.

  “Well, I walked past your empty office today and, like always, I missed seeing your beautiful face, so I asked myself what I was going to do about it. Then your dad walked by and told me he was tired of seeing the two of us mope around and that if I was half the man he thought I was, I would fix the mess I created between the two of us. So, here I am.”

  My heart was beating erratically, but my brain was not going to be overridden by it this time. It had been fooled more than once before. I began gathering up all my things for my next class.

  Ryan reached out and grabbed my hand when I went to pick up my notebook. “Charlee, I know I don’t deserve any more chances, but I think what we had is worth not giving up on.”

  I pulled my hand away. “I don’t know, you seemed to do a good job of it.” I hastily shoved all my books and belongings into my bag. I left him at the table and headed toward my class.

  Ryan caught up and followed right alongside me. “I deserved that, but I also feel like we deserve another chance.”

  “I don’t know what makes you think that. I told you the last time, one more chance was it, and I meant it. You blew it. End of story.”

  “Yes, I admit I blew it, but giving up on what we had seems like more o
f a mistake. Don’t you think?”

  “And what was it that we had?”

  He pulled on my arm gently and stopped me. We came face to face. He looked as serious as I had ever seen him. “The best relationship either one of us has ever had.”

  I rolled my eyes and pulled away. “How can you say that? You’re still in love with your ex-wife.” I didn’t give him time to answer. Instead, I walked away again.

  Like an idiot, he followed. Now people were starting to watch us with interest.

  “I don’t love Victoria.” He followed me down the corridor to the lecture hall.

  “Please. Yes, you do.”

  “I don’t think that’s your call.”

  “Well I’m not blind or dumb.”

  “In this case, you are.”

  I stopped dead in my tracks and gave him my deepest look of loathing. “Did you just call me dumb?”

  He grinned. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

  “Will you please go away? You’re going to make me late for class.”

  He shrugged his shoulders. “I’m not leaving. That was my mistake before, and I’m not going to do that again.”

  “Ugh! Suit yourself.” I threw my hands up in the air and marched away.

  He followed silently all the way to the hall where my class was held. I turned to him before I opened the double doors leading in. “You can’t come in here.”

  “Watch me.”

  I wasn’t sure what to do with this bold Ryan. I called his bluff and walked in. He followed me and took the seat next to mine in the second row of the amphitheater-type seating. I looked over to him, sitting there smugly. I narrowed my eyes at him. He leaned in closer and smiled. I leaned in too. “You need to leave,” I whispered.

  “Not happening.”

  “You’re not a student here.”

  “People sit in on classes all the time.”

  “Please just go,” I begged.

  He pulled delicately on my noodle necklace. “Josh and I want you in our lives. It hasn’t been the same since we’ve been apart. We haven’t been the same.”

  The mention of Josh’s name pierced my heart, but I knew it wouldn’t work with Ryan and me. We had tried, and it was nothing but trouble. Lots and lots of trouble. “Josh is welcome at my house anytime.”

  “That’s a nice offer, but we want more.”

  He was killing me, but thankfully my brain was still my voice of reason. I sat up stiffly, looked forward, and tried to ignore him. He didn’t budge when Professor Yost walked in.

  I quietly spoke from the side of my mouth. “Now you really need to go.”

  He leaned closer to me and whispered in my ear, “I’ll go if you promise to meet me afterward to talk and work this out.”

  I had to stop myself from shivering. He knew how much I loved it when he talked low in my ear. “There’s nothing to work out.”

  “Guess I’m staying.”

  In a huff, I got out my laptop and notebook. I couldn’t believe him, and unfortunately, my professor was observant. I guess that had kind of been his job, to be observant of human behavior, but it wasn’t real handy today.

  “Ah . . . it looks like we have a new student. I thought it past time for schedule changes,” he directed his remarks toward Ryan.

  “I’m not a new student, I’m here with Charlee.”

  I turned and gave him my vilest of looks, but he kept flashing those pearly whites at me.

  “Ms. Jensen, is that correct?”

  I nodded my head.

  “Is there a particular reason you’ve brought a guest today?”

  “No, sir. I didn’t invite him.”

  Professor Yost looked between the two of us with interest.

  I was going to kill Ryan. The whole class was looking at us.

  Ryan smiled at me before turning to my white-haired professor. “Charlee didn’t invite me. I’m here of my own accord.”

  “Mr.?”

  “Carter, but please call me Ryan.”

  “Well, Mr. Ryan Carter, to what do we owe the pleasure?”

  Ryan looked my way again. “I’m here to convince Ms. Jensen to give me another chance.”

  I put my hand over my face. He was so, so dead.

  “Ah. So you’re interrupting my class in the pursuit of love, or perhaps lust?”

  Who uses words like lust anymore? It didn’t matter, I was so beyond embarrassed.

  “Definitely both, sir,” Ryan answered. The whole class laughed.

  My eyes bore into Ryan.

  He flashed me an innocent smile.

  “By the look of it, I take it, Ms. Jensen, that you’re torn by his request.”

  I whipped around to face my professor. “No. I’m not.”

  “Well, the way you lean toward him, tilt your head, and blush, says something entirely different. So where is your conflict coming from, Ms. Jensen?”

  “Please, sir, I’d rather not discuss that.”

  “Intriguing. Well, class, how would you like a real-life demonstration in couple’s therapy today?”

  There was a murmur of approval. My professor looked delighted.

  Ryan also looked happy. I was so the opposite. “We’re not doing this,” I informed him.

  “Please, join me up front, Mr. Carter and Ms. Jensen.”

  I felt like I had been caught passing notes in class. “Professor Yost, please, this isn’t necessary. Ryan was just leaving.”

  Ryan stood up, to my relief, but he held out his hand to me. “Shall we, my dear?”

  The class laughed at his attempt at wit. His little gem was anything but funny.

  “Come now, Ms. Jensen, we are wasting valuable time,” my professor called out.

  I stood up, but not before throwing Ryan the dirtiest look ever. He laughed and followed me down, touching the small of my back. Professor Yost set out two chairs for us that faced each other. Ryan and I each sat down at the same time. I didn’t want to look at him, which was saying a lot. He was beautiful, but I was furious with him. I liked this class, and now I was going to have to drop out of it.

  “As we are not in a private setting, I will not ask you to go into any intimate details,” my professor said quietly to us.

  That didn’t make me feel any better, considering that wasn’t even an issue. Ryan winked at me. I’m sure he was thinking the same thing.

  “Class, please take notes on posturing, mannerisms, and tone. As you can see, Ms. Jensen is a bit tense, and her posture suggests she’s on the defensive. Mr. Carter, on the other hand, is eager and even relaxed. So our first job here is to make Ms. Jensen feel comfortable, make her feel like she can open up to her partner.”

  Ryan smiled at the title. I grimaced at him.

  “Did you notice that class?”

  Great, I was in a fish bowl, and I felt like I was on trial and losing.

  “So, Ms. Jensen, tell me about your first date.”

  I turned to him, surprised. “What? Why?”

  “Very good question, and I’ll answer after you do.”

  He was no longer my favorite professor. In fact, I was going to login to ratemyprofessor.com after this and give him the worst review ever. I took a deep breath and thought back to that perfect night back in July. I felt so stupid doing this, but I looked at my professor and felt like I didn’t have a choice. I closed my eyes for a moment. “He took me to see a One Republic concert.”

  “We need more detail.”

  Okay. “It was at Red Rocks in July. Before the concert, we had dinner.”

  “And do you remember what you ate?”

  “Grilled salmon salad and apple pie with ice cream.” I felt myself smile at the sweet memory, but then I looked at a grinning Ryan and frowned.

  I noticed my classmates were furiously taking notes . . . on me.

  “Good choices, Ms. Jensen. What do you remember most about that night?”

  I let out a deep breath and thought about lying, but I couldn’t, not about that. “It began to rain just
as the concert ended, and we ran back to his car. When we reached the car soaking wet, he pulled me to him and kissed me and then apologized for being too forward.”

  “Aww,” I heard someone say.

  It really was sweet.

  “Someone, please tell me what you noticed when Ms. Jensen spoke.”

  Several hands went up, and he called on a random person in the first row. I still couldn’t believe this was happening. Ryan sure looked like he was enjoying the show.

  “Her eyes were bright when she spoke and she smiled often. She also inadvertently looked at him when she remembered being kissed.”

  I did?

  “Very observant. And what does this say to you?”

  “If I had to guess,” my classmate said, “I would say that she still has favorable feelings toward him.”

  “I would agree with you, Ms. Hart.” Professor Yost turned to me. “When couples would come to me for counseling, Ms. Jensen, a great way for me to gauge if there was any hope for the couple was for me to ask them to tell me about their first date or the day they got married. If they responded negatively, that was usually a good indication that counseling might not be very helpful, but when someone responded like you just did, it was usually a good tell-tale sign the couple would be able to work things out.”

  Ryan smiled and nodded. I wasn’t sold on the idea.

  “Mr. Carter, please tell Ms. Jensen what you believe your biggest obstacles as a couple are.”

  I wanted to say we’re not a couple, but I wanted to get this over with more, so I didn’t object. And I knew how therapy worked: when it was the other person’s turn to speak, you were not supposed to interrupt.

  Ryan leaned forward and toward me in his seat. His eyes were warm and inviting, just like I loved them. “Charlee, honestly I don’t see any obstacles other than you being willing to give us another chance.”

  I refrained from rolling my eyes, because that wasn’t true. I had a laundry list on the tip of my tongue, just waiting for my turn.

  “Hmmm, interesting,” my professor said. “Now, Ms. Jensen, it’s your turn.”

  I sat up straighter. “For starters, he’s in love with his ex-wife.”