by Kira Hillins
“Oh goodness.” Sassy cupped the bottle. “You pushed her into something she wasn’t ready for.”
“I didn’t push her into anything. Our lines of communication got crossed.”
As he downed the last of his beer, he thought about the things Zoe told him. She’d endured so much pain. She’d lost trust in men. And now his heart was breaking. If only he’d kept his hands to himself, he’d never have lost the trust she had in him. She’d be here with him.
“Well, give her some time,” Sassy said in a low voice. “Sounds like she’s got some problems to work out on her own. When she’s ready, I’m sure she’ll let you know.”
“I know.” He groaned. “What am I supposed to do in the meantime?”
“That’s up to you, cutie pie.” She motioned for the bartender to bring her another drink. “If you care about her, tell her to meet you here. Show her a good time. Let her know you’re not like the asshole she dated before. Let her know she’s safe with you.”
Sassy was right. She was always right when it came to love and advice. “You should get back into psychology, Sass.”
“Ah, no.” She let out a hefty harrumph. “I’m tired of dealing with everyone else’s problems. I’m happy right where I am—selling beauty products from the trunk of my car.”
“Have you seen Doogen around?”
“Last I saw, he was in his room sitting on his lazy ass, smoking a damned cigarette.” She shook her head. “Sheron has a thing for him. Not sure that’s a good thing, if you know what I mean. Just wish that handsome brother of yours was still around to keep her in line. Chase was a good man who didn’t deserve to die.”
Ben’s heart sank. Nobody ever talked about his brother when he was around. Sassy never held her tongue, always spoke her mind about everything. She’d been like a mother to Chase, to him.
“You listen, honey.” She placed her hand on his forearm. “You stop feeling guilty. It was not your fault he died. It was the booze he couldn’t get away from.”
“I know,” he said, grabbing his jacket off the stool. “Still hurts.”
“You’re a better man than he was,” she said as he slid his jacket up over his shoulders. “That woman is lucky to have you. Don’t forget that.”
He leaned in and kissed her cheek. “It’s great to see you, Sassy.”
“Likewise, sugar.” She blushed. “Play me a fast-moving song later, and I’ll see you on the dance floor.”
“Sure thing.” Ben chuckled.
As he left the bar, his head ached. Thoughts in turmoil, he crossed the parking lot to his usual room number five. Once inside, he lay down and closed his eyes. Rest would do him some good. Maybe later, he could focus on playing this gig instead of worrying about what he was going to do about Zoe.
Chapter Twenty
It was nine thirty p.m.
Zoe parked Renji’s truck beside the first motorcycle in a string of them lined along the front of the bar. The scene reminded her of an old western she’d watched where cowboys tied their horses in front of a saloon. The only things missing were the gunslingers, though the night wasn’t over yet.
She wasn’t going to come, but she owed Ben an explanation. He deserved to know the truth of why it was so difficult to let anyone cross the line. She also wanted to apologize for pushing him away without giving him a reason. And thank him for giving her the space she needed to work it out.
Country music blared. When Zoe stepped inside the bar, she scanned the crowded room. The band played on a small stage near the back wall.
Ben played guitar as Doogen sang with a calm country twang. Sheron danced below him in a pretty green sundress and a short shawl that covered her petite shoulders. Another woman in a pink rhinestone cowgirl hat danced with her.
Zoe drew in a deep breath. She straightened her short skirt, tugged the hem of her long sleeve, and then headed for the bar.
Relax. She’d come to make amends, but also to have a little fun.
She stopped at the counter and glanced at the woman beside her. The drink parked on the bar looked like soda.
“What’ll you have?” the bartender with rings through her nose shouted over the music.
“What she’s drinking.”
“Rum and Coke?”
Zoe nodded. “Okay.”
The bar was packed. There was an abundance of flannel-clad people with cowboy hats on, dancing in various places throughout the building. At least twenty women, all who looked between forty and sixty years old, wore vests with the words Fire Women Chapter, Denver, Colorado printed around a circle.
Zoe lifted the glass and drew a sip. That one mouthful quickly took off the edge. Her muscles relaxed. She smiled and danced as she maneuvered through the crowded room toward the dance floor.
Hoping Ben would be glad to see her, she wove her way around tables, ignoring stares from some of the scariest-looking men and women she’d ever seen. Bikers in leather vests and jeans sat drinking beer, listening to the band play.
“Zoe!” Sheron yelled over the deafening music.
“Hey,” Zoe replied.
Sheron hugged her neck. “This is my mom. Sassy. Mom. Meet Zoe!”
The dark-haired woman dancing in the pink cowboy hat had on the same vest as the other ladies. Sassy grinned ear to ear as she stared at Zoe. “You’re Ben’s leading lady.” She laughed and then raised her glass. “He wasn’t wrong. You are beautiful.”
Zoe didn’t know how to respond. She wasn’t even sure Ben would be happy to see her. He was standing right there on the stage, in her peripheral vision, but she was afraid to look him in the eyes, afraid she’d see disappointment.
The song ended. The room went wild with applause and shouts. When Zoe found the courage to look at the stage, she saw Ben taking position in front of the microphone. Doogen stepped down, grabbed Sheron’s hand, and whisked her toward the bar.
With no one to get in her way, it was easy to see Ben’s handsome face. Those emerald eyes shimmered under the bright lights as he looked at her and smiled. Her heart sank. She wanted to talk to him—to tell him she was a fool for letting him leave last night, but he strummed his guitar. Slow. Beautiful. It reminded her of a song she’d listened to when she was a child with her dad. He’d played it all the time.
This wasn’t that song. This was different—a heavier ballad. As Ben began to sing, the crowded room melted away, and a daydream played in Zoe’s mind. It was only her and Ben now, standing in the room together. Dancing. Kissing. His song was about being with the one he loved forever. He’d died for her. Become immortal for her. When she’d broken his heart, he’d sent her away. Her web of lies killed him inside, but he was cursed to remain alive forever.
The song was disheartening. A little morbid, but it was absolutely the most beautiful song she’d ever heard.
When it ended, the crowd went wild. The entire firewomen chapter woo’d and wee’d. They hooted and hollered for more, but Ben moved aside. Doogen stepped up on the stage and whispered something to Ben.
While Sheron and Sassy sat at Zoe’s table, the other women lined the dance floor, shouting various chants at Ben. Zoe laughed as one shouted that Ben was “the hottest guy in the world.” “Man of the night.” Her favorite name they called him was Sexy Boy. She’d have to remember to use that to tease. If he ever talked to her again.
Ben rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t hide the grin on his face. Doogen joined Sheron at her table as Ben took over the band yet again.
The man had a set of vocal cords. His voice sent wonderful chills up and down her spine. He sang various songs from bands she’d heard before. Some songs were new. Most were hard. Melodic. He screamed a little, but even that was perfect.
After an hour, Zoe’s mouth was parched. Sheron had brought her another drink, but a glass of water sounded pretty good right now.
She purposely avoided the large group of leather-clad ladies that filled up the back tables. As she headed for the bar, she caught Ben’s gaze. When their eyes me
t, he smiled.
Zoe sat on a bar stool and got the bartender’s attention. “Can I get water?”
The bartender nodded. She set a tall glass of ice water in front of Zoe, then gave her a wink.
Zoe lifted the glass to her lips and sipped. Refreshing. She drew in a few long gulps and then set her glass down on the counter.
“Well, I’ll be damned,” the man sitting beside her shouted over the music.
Every hair on her body stood on end. Don’t acknowledge. Leave the bar and never look back. Lock yourself in Renji’s truck and drive straight home.
She took a step toward freedom, but the man grabbed her hand. “Zoe. It’s me. Nick.”
She quickly turned around to face her nightmare. Icy fingers crawled across her shoulders. Chills spread through her veins. Her chest hurt as she tried to catch her erratic breath. If she could only get her legs to move, she would run. Run as far from here as she could.
The devil pulled her closer. Brows arched, mouth popped open in a vicious grin, he laughed. “I can’t believe it. Zoe Kearny’s in a bar. Never thought I’d live to see the day.”
Her reply sat at the tip of her tongue. I hate you. Her body trembled as the images played like a movie in her mind.
He’d hit her over and over, bloodying her nose and lips. Her eyes had swelled shut, and it stung like hell when she’d cried for him to stop.
Zoe wanted to scream. She wanted to hit him. He deserved to feel the pain he’d made her endure, but a million times worse. She glanced at the brunette woman sitting beside him. Her lip was split. The woman had tried to mask it with bright red lipstick, just how Zoe had once attempted to hide her bruised left eye with a thick layer of foundation and eye shadow.
Zoe’s stomach churned as she jerked her hand from his. “I was just leaving.”
“Come on. Haven’t seen you in a long while. Stay here and have one drink with me. I insist. Let me apologize in person.”
He glared. It was the same look he used to carry right before he’d slap her.
Breathing hard, she sat on the stool. This was exactly how it was before. He told her what to do. She’d do it. A fist to the face didn’t feel so good.
God, she was still weak. Her legs shook. And her upper lip perspired. It was so hot in here, and yet she couldn’t stop the chills overtaking her body.
In the short time they’d dated, she’d been knocked down and bruised. He’d forced her to do things she wasn’t ready to do. Remorse wasn’t in his vocabulary. Neither was the word no.
As long as she stayed here in public, she’d be okay. He couldn’t hurt her. Ben was right there if she had to scream.
The music ended. She stole a glance at Ben, who held his guitar over his head. The firewomen chapter crowded him while he stepped off the podium. He looked rather disgruntled as he went out the side exit.
Oh shit! Ben left. Here she sat, scared to death that her ex, the man she’d sent to jail, the jerk she’d taken weeks of Fred’s self-defense classes for, would lash out. Sober, Nicholas wasn’t so bad. Drunk—the guy was a nightmare. Right now, with a glass of tequila in his hand, he was drunk.
“Did you follow me here?”
Nicholas raised his glass and indulged in a sip. “I just finished a cross-state charity run on my motorcycle. Part of my rehabilitation.”
Zoe swiveled her stool, bravely returning his gaze. Was that a lie? Seemed a little too coincidental meeting him here, especially after he ran her and Ben off the road.
He wasn’t a bad-looking guy when she’d met him. He used to have curled blond locks. Charming smile. Smart. He used to frequent the gym, giving him the body of a god. Now he was kind of pudgy. Short brown hair matched his eyes. He had a few wrinkles over his brows. And his tanned skin made him look forty, maybe older.
He turned his back to her. “Check out the chapter I joined.”
Zoe read the back of his leather vest. “Knight Hogs Club?”
“Probation officer set it up.”
“Charity, huh?”
He narrowed his eyes. “St. Rosetta’s Church. They run a homeless shelter.”
Zoe shrugged. “I’ve never heard of it.”
“If you don’t fucking believe me, I’ll show you the damned pamphlets in my house!” He slammed his empty glass down on the bar. “Take a ride with me to the fucking church!”
Zoe jumped off her stool. Okay. That was scary. She wasn’t here to socialize with him. She wasn’t even sure why she was here talking to him when she hated his guts. She’d hoped the time in jail had made him see the error in his ways, but she could tell by the lady sitting next to him, he was still an evil bastard.
She backed away from the bar, away from Nicholas. She turned to leave, but he took hold of her wrist.
“Where the hell are you going?” His lips parted into a sneer. “I didn’t say you could leave.”
“Get off me!”
“You heard the lady!” The bartender leaned forward. She grabbed his arm and tried to pry him loose, but he wouldn’t budge. “Let her go, asshole!”
“Mind your own fucking business, bitch.” His fingers splayed over the bartender’s face and shoved.
The woman fell back against the sink. Her eyes widened. “You are so out of here, motherfucker!” She waved her arms, motioning for the two burly men at the door.
They shoved through the crowd toward the bar.
Nicholas tightened his hold on Zoe’s wrist. He pulled her toward the rear exit. She leaned back, tugging and pulling, but it didn’t do any good. He was determined to get her out the door, and there wasn’t enough traction in her shoes to stop him.
“Let go!” She grabbed a chair with her free hand, but it fell over onto the floor.
A tall man with a bushy gray beard stepped in front of Nicholas. When Nicholas turned away from the guy, he twisted Zoe’s arm. Pain shot down her shoulder to her elbow. Her wrist burned from the friction. She cried out.
“Listen to me!” Nicholas leaned close to her face. “I’m not trying to hurt you. I just want to take you somewhere quiet so we can talk. You understand?”
Zoe thought about Fred’s lessons. He’d taught her how to get out of someone’s hold on her wrist. She just had to calm down to remember.
She drew in a deep breath. Find that inner strength. Don’t think about who’s holding you, but about how to get out of it.
She flattened her hand and held it rigid. With a quick, hard jab, she struck his throat. His head snapped back. He coughed as he stumbled and let go of her wrist.
Oh my God. It actually worked!
Adrenaline singing through her veins, Zoe took off into the crowd. As she wove around tables and chairs, she threw a glance over her shoulder. Nicholas wasn’t following. Hopefully the men would detain him long enough for her to get away.
A thin sheen of sweat covered her skin. She needed to get out of this bar. Get some air.
Another man stood at the side entrance. Eyes wide and blurring, she stopped before him. Her body shook as he stared.
Would he let her out? Had they locked this place down until Nicholas was dealt with? God, she didn’t want to be stuck in here with him.
He nodded as he stood to the side. “Go. Hurry up.”
Zoe shoved her way through the door.
The cool air felt good on her hot skin. As she drew closer to Renji’s truck, she glanced around her. There was nobody in the parking lot. No devils followed. The truck was right there. Just a little farther and she’d be locked inside and heading home.
Voices near the hotel startled her. Her skin crawled. A man laughed heartily. Then a familiar raspy voice caught her attention.
Zoe looked across the lot. Doogen and Sheron strolled hand in hand toward the far end of the hotel as Ben disappeared inside room number five. Zoe’s heart raced as she sprinted across the dark parking lot.
She made a hard fist and pounded on the door. It sounded like a bass drum. “Ben! Let me in!”
Zoe looked over her shoul
der. Three men stood in the bar’s doorway, glaring at Nicholas, who stumbled down the steps. When he looked her way, all the hairs on her body rose.
“Ben! Come on! Let me in!” She drummed harder on the door.
“HANG ON, ZOE. I’m coming!”
Ben’s heart rapped against his chest. Whatever Zoe shouted about, it sounded urgent. She was going to beat the flimsy hotel door down.
He opened the door. Zoe ducked under his arm as she hightailed it inside the room. She shut the door, locked the knob, and hung the chain. Breathing as if she’d run a 5k in record time, she leaned back against the door.
“Zoe, what’s wrong?”
“He’s out there.”
“Who’s out there?”
“Nicholas.”
Ben’s muscles tensed. Holy shit! The violent ex was here?
A loud knock on the wall made Zoe jump. Another heavier thud sounded on the door. A short scream escaped her mouth as she hurled into him with such force it nearly knocked him over.
He pushed the curtain to the side and looked out. Nobody was at the door. There were a few men standing at the bar’s entrance. A couple kissed close to the parked motorcycles. But that was it.
“I don’t see anyone.”
Her skin was cool beneath his hands. As he rubbed the chill bumps on her arms, he gazed into her eyes.
“Let me go talk to him. I’ll get him to leave.”
Zoe shivered. “You can’t reason with him when he’s drunk.”
What was he supposed to do? Keep quiet and hope Nicholas went away? Call the cops? He sure as hell wasn’t letting Nicholas terrorize her anymore.
He caressed her face between his hands. “Did he hit you?”
“No, he didn’t hit me.” She shuddered. “He tried to get me to leave with him.”
“When?”
“A few minutes ago. At the bar. He shoved the bartender when she tried to get him to release my arm. That’s why they kicked him out.”
Fuck! He’d seen Zoe talking to a guy at the bar, but he’d thought nothing of it.
“I saw him talking to you!” He bit back profanities as he placed his hands on his head and paced. “I wouldn’t have come to the room to change my jeans if I’d know that was him.”