by Kira Hillins
Chapter Eighteen
It was three p.m. by the time the wheel was fixed on Ben’s motorcycle. As he unloaded his bike from the back of Renji’s truck, Zoe went inside to use the bathroom. She brushed garlic from her breath and then changed her clothes. Once she slipped on her jacket and boots, she went to the mirror to inspect her reflection.
This was it. After the motorcycle ride, she was going to have sex with Ben. Here. In her bed. Since the intense kiss this morning, she’d thought about it—decided to do it, not to do it, then decided again. But this was it. Tonight, she’d be ready.
“Hey.” Ben’s voice startled her. He stood in the bedroom doorway with a tooth-baring grin. “Ready to go?”
“More than ever.” She closed the distance between them. She slid her arms around his neck and then pulled him down to meet her in a kiss.
His arms slid around her waist. Tongue massaging hers, he lifted her off the floor and then carried her to the top of the living room stairs. When he set her on her feet, he parted from her mouth. “Come on.”
“I’ve never ridden on a motorcycle before,” she said as he led her down the sidewalk. “Is there a special way to sit?”
“Just keep your arms around my waist. Lean when I lean, and we’ll be fine.”
He shoved the helmet down on her head. It was loose but fit better after he tightened the strap. A grin spread across his face as he snapped the buckle under her chin.
“Is something funny?”
“No,” he replied. “You just look cute.”
“Well, I’m sure you’re cute in a helmet too. Shouldn’t you be wearing one?”
“This is the only one I have,” he said with a shrug. She opened her mouth, but he shushed her. “We’ll be fine, pumpkin.”
“All right,” she said, not wanting to argue. “Just…don’t go fast.”
Ben straddled the seat of his blue street bike. He zipped his jacket to his neck, kicked the kickstand back, and then started the engine. The growl was loud in her ears. He revved it several times before offering his hand to help her onto the seat behind him.
Zoe tossed her leg over the seat. Her heart raced as she scooted tight against him. She wrapped her arms around his torso. When the motorcycle lurched forward, she let out a short, breathy scream.
“You okay?” he called back.
“Yeah!”
“Hang on.”
As he pulled out on the main road, her stomach churned with excitement and fear. She pressed her head against his back, shut her eyes, and held tight as they zipped off toward Cheney Reservoir.
Soaring down the road kind of felt like flying. The ground moved swiftly below her boots. It was dizzying.
She tightened her legs around the bike. Her heart pounded as she inhaled Ben’s musk scent deeply. She loved his smell. It calmed her anxiety.
The motorcycle leaned. She squeezed him tighter as she leaned with him. Maybe this wasn’t such a great idea. She’d never liked roller coasters. With all their loops and sharp turns, she’d always come off the rides sick. She half expected the motorcycle to jet down a steep hill at Mach four, but it kept pushing forward. Steady. Fast.
The flat landscape panned by. Green trees lined the blue horizon. Daffodils bloomed in patches of green grass. Old farmhouses sat among dirt fields.
She’d seen this scenery a million times, but not like this. She was outside, exposed to the elements. She was free. Alive. Happy. It took twenty-five minutes by car to get to the reservoir. Ben must’ve gone above and beyond speeding to get there in fifteen.
He carefully drove over the dirt road. When they reached the water, he parked near a group of short budding trees and then shut off the engine.
She unbuckled the helmet and removed it from her head.
He kicked the stand into place. Hand out, he helped her off.
Once he was on his feet, he slid his palms against her face. His lips met hers in a kiss—a long, tongue-on-tongue, passionate kiss. Electricity spread through her body.
When he leaned back, she whispered, “Do that again.”
He pressed his lips to hers, but only briefly before he pulled away. He held her hand as they walked down the dirt path beside the water.
“This is a nice place. Come here often?”
“Sometimes I come with Renji.” She stepped over the root of a tree showing on the pathway. “He has a camper and boat not far from here.”
“Ah. Renji.”
“Don’t be jealous.”
“I’m not jealous.”
“You don’t have anything to worry about.” She kicked a small rock with the toe of her boot. “We’ve been friends since grade school. He’s a lot to me like Sheron is to you.”
He let go of her hand as the path narrowed. She moved in front of him. “The guy’s got a thing for you.”
Zoe watched her feet as she walked. “How do you figure that?”
“His eyes light up when he sees you.” He shrugged. “I imagine I have the same crazy-about-you look.”
“Awww.” She smiled, glancing back at him. “You’re crazy about me?”
“Yes.”
She kept her gaze on her feet as they trod down the narrow path shadowed by brush blocking the evening sun. Good thing she’d worn her boots and changed into thicker clothes.
“We’re almost there,” she called back to him. “The path on the left side is eroding, so stay near the wall so you don’t sink into the—” Zoe’s foot landed on a wobbly rock and twisted. Sharp pain sliced along her ankle as the hillside gave way. She lurched to the left and scrabbled at rocks, twigs—anything that might keep her from plunging into the reservoir. Her heel snagged on a bend of root protruding from the dirt. It stopped her short, with breath trapped in her throat.
With her hands digging into the ground, she drew in several quick, panicky breaths. Damn it! Now she was stuck.
Ben stood on the edge of the hill. He reached out but couldn’t get close enough to pull her up. “Grab my hand!”
“I can’t!” She swallowed hard. “I’ll slide if I let go.”
“No, you won’t.” He leaned closer. When the dirt moved under his feet, he quickly stepped back. “Fuck!”
Zoe cringed. That summed her situation up perfectly. She was fucked—destined to fall into the water and swim to shore. She’d be riding on the back of the motorcycle soaking wet.
The muscles in her legs weakened and began to shake. The only option she had was to start climbing. Maybe she’d get lucky and make it to the top. Problem solved. Crisis averted. She looked at Ben, who still reached for her. “I’m going to try to catch your hand.”
“You can do it.”
“If I don’t make it—”
“You will.” He grinned. “Come on, baby. You can do this.”
She drew in a deep breath. “Okay. Here I go.” She shifted all her weight to the right foot and pushed upward. She reached for Ben. The fingers on her right hand curled against his. Adrenaline pumped through her veins. She climbed, but the dirt continually gave way.
“Hang on!”
Ben reached with his other hand. As he did, the ground beneath him collapsed. A string of cusswords flew from his open mouth as he slid passed her and plummeted into the water.
Accepting her fate, she shut her eyes tight and let the landslide take her away. She held her breath as the water engulfed her body.
The frigid temperature knocked the wind from her lungs. Her feet found the bottom fast. When she stood upright, the waterline nipped at her neck.
She wiped her eyes and glanced around. “Ben!”
Ben laughed behind her. Her teeth chattered as she turned to face him. Thank God he was close.
“Best date ever!” His voice was strong, but his lips trembled. “I’m freezing my ass off.”
“Are you mad at me?”
“No, baby. Why would I be mad at you?”
“You fell in the water trying to save me.”
He scooped her into his arms. His g
aze stayed on her as he carried her to the shore and set her down on the beach. He stroked her wet hair back from her face.
“I’d swim across the ocean to save you,” he said, water dripping from his hair.
“What about the Arctic?”
“I’d bring fire to melt the ice.”
Her heart fluttered as she stared up into his eyes. “Maybe you can warm me up now.”
He brushed his lips against hers. “And how should I do that?”
She meant to say, With a kiss, but couldn’t get the words to come out. They were stuck in the back of her throat.
“Touch me,” she whispered.
Gooseflesh spread over her skin. The birds softly chirping in the surrounding trees offered her encouragement. She placed his hands on her sides.
His mouth found hers. He gently pinched her flesh under her shirt. He worked his fingers inside her pants to her clit. Heat surged through her entire body. She caught his arms and fell against him.
Warm was an understatement. Her cheeks and neck burned. Her heart beat a fast tempo. She shook so much she could barely stand still.
Though it felt wonderful, this was so very wrong. Her toes were numb from the cold. Her clothes and hair were drenched. The wet, heavy feeling reminded her of the last time she was here with Nicholas.
She shut her eyes. No. She couldn’t think about Nicholas now. Not while Ben touched her.
Nicholas had dug his fingernails into her sides. He’d lifted her off the ground. Pain had shot down her back as he squeezed her flesh. When she’d cried out for him to let go, he threw her into the reservoir.
She opened her eyes. “Stop!” Her voice echoed around them.
Ben pulled his hand from her slacks. She stumbled back. Breathing hard, she clambered up the hill toward the path.
“ZOE. WAIT!” BEN followed her up the path but gave her space. Had he hurt her? Had he taken her plea to touch her wrong? Maybe she’d just meant a kiss, and now she was angry.
With long strides, he caught up. Afraid he’d piss her off more, he made no attempt to stop her.
When they reached the end of the path, she tripped on a tree root. He caught her arm and pulled her up. Her body was rigid and trembling, but she didn’t struggle against his hold on her.
She lowered her gaze to his chest. “I told you I was accident-prone.”
“Yeah. I totally see that.” He let go of her arm and palmed her cheek. “What happened, Zoe? Did I hurt you?”
“No.”
“Did you want me to touch you like that?”
“No.” Her eyes snapped to his. “Yes, and no. I don’t know.” She covered her face with her hands. “Could you just take me home now?”
“I’m sorry if I scared you.” He took her by the hand and started across the parking lot. “Did something happen here—with Nicholas?”
She let go of his hand. Without saying a word, she walked back to the motorcycle, hugging her torso the entire way. Something terrible must have happened. He wouldn’t push anymore. When she was ready, she’d tell him the story.
The ride into town wasn’t as nice as the ride out. The town seemed darker. The sun had sunk below the horizon, offering the sky an orange-and-purple glow.
Zoe’s body trembled against his back. He shook too. The heavy clothes made it difficult to drive. His hands were so cold he could barely keep them curled around the grips.
When they were inside the locked-up apartment, she went straight to the bedroom. She pulled fresh clothes from her drawer. Without acknowledging him, she went to the bathroom. When he heard the lock click into place, he sighed.
“Zoe,” he said from outside the door. He knocked. “Will you please talk to me? Tell me what you want me to do.”
She didn’t answer. Damn. He’d fucked up.
Maybe he should go to Goodland and stay the night there. Give her space to recuperate.
“Do you want me to leave?”
“Yeah. Okay. Could you lock the door on your way out?”
“Sure.” He shook his head, disappointed she didn’t ask him to stay. “I’ll see you in Goodland, right?”
“I’ll try.”
Try? Ben swallowed hard, desperate to tell her he was staying. Whatever was wrong, he wanted to make things right.
When the shower came on, he went to the bedroom. After a quick change of clothes, he grabbed his bag and headed for the door. He locked the handle and pulled the door tight against the frame.
After a moment of standing on the outside step, debating whether to leave things like this or stay, the dead bolts clicked into place. The chain rattled against the door, and then the slide lock moved. He realized his decision to leave was final.
Chapter Nineteen
Ben was too exhausted to drive all the way to Goodland, so he spent the night at Sigmund’s Hotel. He also wanted to wait, in case Zoe decided to ride with him.
On his way out of town, he stopped off at the bakery to talk her into coming with him. When Renji told him she didn’t want to see anyone, Ben took that as his answer and left.
It was a perfect Saturday. Though the gentle breeze blew cool, the sun shone warm through the window of the truck Ben had rented.
It would’ve been a perfect day for a drive, moonroof slid back, music blaring, but his poor car sat wrecked on the trailer behind him. At least it wasn’t totaled.
Wouldn’t be difficult to fix the damage when he got it home, just time-consuming. Doogen was more than happy to lend his expertise to get it back into shape. This morning Doogen brought up the old dream they’d had about opening a body shop together. Though that dream had died with Chase, Ben had given it serious thought on the way to Goodland.
Ben pulled the truck onto the hotel lot beside Doogen’s van and parked. Hopefully Doogen remembered his guitar; otherwise Ben would have to use the bartender’s crappy ax. The thing wouldn’t stay tuned longer than five minutes of play.
Chipped paint and stucco made the single-story hotel look like a broken-down place on the bad side of Denver. Windows were cracked. The roof missed shingles. Judging by the crumbled wall on the end unit, maybe the building had seen a tornado or two. Regardless, he liked this hotel. It was a fun bar to play at, mostly because of the usual biker crowd that gathered here. They were like family.
Ben hopped out of the truck and stretched. He looked at the building on the other side of the parking lot. The doors were open. Sounds of a ball game playing on a TV drifted to his ears. A strong aroma of beer and hot wings hung in the air. Smelled like Doogen’s house.
Ben walked up the short steps. An older woman dressed in a tank top and faded jeans met him in the doorway. Her salt-and-pepper hair, usually curled beneath a pink cowboy hat, was tied up in a bun.
“Sassy,” he said, giving Sheron’s mother a quick hug. “Looking hot as ever, ma’am.”
“Oh, flattery will get you everywhere.” She laughed her raspy laugh. “Look at you. All mighty fine and in snazzy clothes.”
He glanced down at his loose-fitting jeans and T. “New outfit.” He grinned. “Buy you a beer?”
“You’re talking my talk now, cutie.”
Ben chuckled as he followed Sassy to the bar. He loved the afternoon atmosphere here. Kind of felt like a saloon from the John Wayne movies he’d seen on TV. On nice days like today, the doors were open, letting in plenty of fresh air.
He sat down at the bar and ordered two beers. Light country music began to play on the jukebox.
“Heard you’ve been seeing some hottie from the country,” Sassy said with a wink. “Same gal you play games with?”
“Yeah.”
Great. Sheron told Sassy about Zoe. Now the twenty questions would fly. Sassy would analyze his feelings. Hell. She’d probably get her tea leaves out and read his future. Knowing her, she’d hear wedding bells going off in her head.
“Sheron says you’re serious about her.”
He shrugged as he set his beer bottle down on the brown square coaster. “Maybe. I
don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” She snorted a laugh. “Either you are or you aren’t. A woman likes to be told straight-out that she’s cared about. She doesn’t want any in-betweens.”
He took off his leather jacket and draped it over the back of the wooden stool. “I’ve already told her.”
“Told her what?” She took a swig of beer.
“I told her I cared about her.”
She glanced around, brows arched, searching the room before looking at him again. “Then where the hell is she?”
“Home.”
“Didn’t you just come from her place?”
He chuckled as her voice got higher with every question. “Yeah.”
“Why didn’t you bring her with you, son?”
“Long story.” He didn’t want to explain why, when he really didn’t know. Whatever happened at the reservoir definitely had something to do with her ex-boyfriend. More than that, she refused to talk to him about it. What was he supposed to do? Get down on his knees and beg?
“All I’m saying is that if you really care about the woman, nothing else matters. You make her feel special. Wanted. I’ll bet that girl’s at home crying her eyes out that you left without her.”
He drew in a large mouthful of beer, then swallowed it down. “I didn’t leave her.”
“Oh!” Sassy’s eyes widened. “She kicked your ass out? Well, shit, Ben. That changes all the questions I had lined up. What’d you do to that poor thing?”
Like mother, like daughter. Sassy was just as pushy and outspoken as Sheron. But unlike Sheron, Sassy had great advice to give. She had a knack for showing the truth when it didn’t want to be seen.
“She has issues.”
“Who doesn’t have issues?” Sassy set her beer bottle down and turned to face him. “Is she ugly and mean?”
“No,” he said with a chuckle. “She’s incredibly beautiful.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“The abusive, stalker ex-boyfriend. She’s so scared that I can’t touch her.”