They were all from his mother.
“You didn’t have the right to make that decision for me,” he said while he scrolled through her messages, making sure there wasn’t an emergency.
“I know that now. I’m sorry.”
He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “My mother is freaking out, wondering where I am. I have to go.” He wanted to pull her into his arms. Kiss her again. But she stood there, an invisible wall around her. He sighed and hooked his thumbs on his belt loops. “Are you okay?”
She nodded. “I’m fine.”
She looked like someone had stepped on her soul. Wounded. He took a step closer to her. “Why is it that I don’t believe you?”
She let out a strained laugh. “Because ‘fine’ might be an exaggeration. But I’m not a high schooler anymore. I can take care of myself. You need to go to your mother. I know how she gets.”
“All right. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”
Kendra nodded, her gaze on the floor. “Yeah. See you tomorrow.”
He hated leaving in the middle of the kind of discussion they were having, but his mother’s texts were frantic. He didn’t want her to worry. He shot her off a quick text telling her he was on his way home, and then left Kendra’s house.
His mind spun as he drove home. So much of what happened was his mother’s fault. But how could he bring it up with her? She would be sure to have a breakdown. But he wasn’t going to let it go, either.
He would just have to find a way to approach the subject in a delicate way. She had to answer for her actions. What she did was wrong, and she had to face it.
When he pulled up to her house his mother was standing on the front porch, her silhouette framed in the doorway, a blanket around her shoulders. He climbed out of his car and she watched as he walked up the sidewalk. She shuffled her feet, which were bare. “Thank heavens you’re home,” she said as he approached, pulling the blanket tighter around herself.
“Why are you outside, Mother? You’re going to catch a cold.”
“I was waiting for you.”
“I know, Ma, but you didn’t have to wait outside.” He gently guided her back inside and shut the door. He sat her down on the couch and pulled another blanket onto her lap. “How long have you been out there?”
“I was worried you had gotten in an accident.” She grabbed his hand, her fingers like ice. “It’s slippery out there.”
He enveloped her hands in his and rubbed them, trying to get the circulation going. “I’m fine. You didn’t have to worry.”
“You took so long…” Her voice trailed off.
“I told you I was taking Kendra and her daughter to dinner.” He grabbed her slippers and put them on her feet.
“I don’t know why you want to spend time with them,” she mumbled. “They are nothing to you.”
He bit back a reply. He didn’t want to argue with her. Not when she was in this state. She obviously was having difficulty dealing with life at the moment. He needed to get her warm. “Would you like some hot chocolate?”
His mother smiled. “Very much.”
“Okay. Just sit tight. I’ll get you some.” He hurried into the kitchen and grabbed a mug from the cupboard. He microwaved the water and dumped in a packet of hot chocolate mix, stirring it with a spoon.
He walked back into the living room. His mother was standing by the end table, looking at the photographs. The blanket he’d placed on her lap lay in a heap on the floor by the couch. At least her slippers were still on her feet.
“Mom, come here. I want you to sit and drink this.”
She touched one of the frames. “You were always such a talented boy.”
He guided her back to the couch. “That’s right. Sit down and sip this cocoa. I put marshmallows in it for you.”
“Oh, honey. Thank you. I’m so cold.”
“I know you are.” Worry crept up into his chest. How often does his mother get like this? He’d seen her act in an odd way before, but never anything that might endanger herself. Now he wondered if she shouldn’t be living at home, alone.
“I’m glad you’re home now.” She took a sip of her cocoa and patted his hand. “You should stay here. With me.”
The hairs on the back of his neck stood. Something wasn’t right. Was his mother having an episode? Or was this whole thing her way of making him stay? Was she manipulating him? He chose his words carefully. “I’m here now. Let’s put on a Christmas movie. You always like those.”
She smiled, her fingers curled around her warm mug. “Yes. I do.”
He wasn’t exactly sure what was going on, but he put on a movie and let it go. He would have to confront her about what she did to him and Kendra, but not tonight. He needed to figure out just how he was going to approach it.
Chapter 10
Kendra poured some Cheerio’s in a bowl while Aria danced around the kitchen on her tip toes. She sang a made-up song. The lyrics consisted of one sentence, repeated over and over. “My wish is going to come true.”
Kendra tried to play innocent. “What wish, honey?”
“My Christmas wish. You know, Mommy. The one I made in the fountain. I think my penny turned into the wish. Can that happen? I want to throw another penny in. Can we show Jake the fountain tonight?”
Aria stopped talking and stared up at Kendra. Her emotions were stripped and raw from her conversation with Jacob last night. She didn’t need to spend more time with him. And yet, she couldn’t keep him from Aria. Especially not now. “Maybe Jake can take you, just the two of you. Would you like that?”
Aria shook her head. “No, Mommy. I need you there.”
“Why do you need me there?”
“Because. You’re my mommy,” she said simply. She picked up her spoon and dug into her cereal.
“Yes. But Jake is your…” She stopped cold. She didn’t want to have this conversation with Aria. Not now. It had to happen, but she didn’t want to open up that can of worms right before Jacob came to the door to drive Aria to school. “Uh, he’s your good friend. And good friends can go places together.”
“Yes, but I want you there too, Mommy.” She gave her a bit of a distraught look.
Maybe she wasn’t as comfortable with Jacob as Kendra thought. “Okay, sweetie. I’ll come too.”
Aria smiled. “Good.” She scooped in another spoonful of cereal and hummed.
Kendra went into the bathroom to finish putting on her makeup. Aria seemed so happy now, with just the simple promise to go to the fountain. But how happy would she be Christmas morning? She had to find a way to get her daughter to spill it. Otherwise, she’d be devastated.
A knock came on her door and she froze. Oh, no. It was later than she thought. Great. Now Jacob was here to pick them up and they weren’t ready. Again.
How many more ways was she going to embarrass herself in front of him? She ran to the front door but Aria had already let him in. “Go finish your breakfast, sweetie.”
“I’m done,” Aria called out as she ran to get her coat on.
“Good,” Kendra said under her breath. Then she turned to Jacob. “I’m sorry we’re not quite ready yet. I still need to finish up in the bathroom.”
“Take the time you need. I’m here a little early.” He leaned against the door and she couldn’t help but see the country star in him. He really was the perfect man to fit that mold. Ruggedly handsome face. Lean but muscular. He had the perfect aura. Confident, yet there was a humility in him as well.
She swallowed back the emotions that swelled in her chest. She couldn’t let herself fall for him again. That ship had sailed. They both knew it. “Thanks.”
She went back into the bathroom and finished applying her mascara. Five minutes later, she was done and helping Aria zip up her coat.
“We’re going to the fountain tonight,” Aria announced as they walked to Jacob’s car.
“You are?”
“Yes! And you’re coming with us.” Aria beamed at him, and Kendr
a couldn’t help but laugh.
“I think she’s inviting you.”
Jacob grinned. “Sounds like a plan. We can go after school.”
“No, we have to wait until after dark.” Aria climbed into her booster seat. “Then it will be lit up.”
“Oh. I see.” Jacob slowly nodded. “After dark it is.”
After they got into the car, Kendra turned to him. “I hope that’s all right. She was pretty excited about the prospect of taking you to the fountain.”
“It’s fine. I’ve wanted to go with her.”
“Hopefully your mother will be okay with it.” Kendra pulled on her seatbelt, not missing the look that flashed over Jacob’s face.
“She’ll have to be.”
“What happened last night?” She didn’t want to pry into his life, but she was too curious not to ask.
He shrugged. “Mother wanted me home. She got what she wanted.”
“That sounds a little…ominous.”
He pulled out of her driveway onto the gravel road that led to town. “I’m just not quite sure what to think of her. My mother has always needed extra attention. But last night when I pulled up she was on the porch, without a coat or shoes, just a blanket around her shoulders. She’d been waiting outside for me.”
“Oh, dear.” That wasn’t good. Jacob had struggled with his mother when they were in High School. She’d just thought his mother was odd. The kind of person who didn’t conform to the norm. It was as if she had her own tune in her head, and that’s what she listened to. But this sounded more like dementia.
“Yes, but I’m not sure if she’s as fragile as she comes across.”
“How so?”
“I don’t know. Just a feeling I got last night. I’m going to do some digging.”
“That sounds like you’re going to go looking for buried bodies in the backyard.”
Jacob chuckled. “Something like that.”
They dropped Aria off at school. The car became silent as Jacob drove to the dollar store. Kendra wondered if it would always be like this between them. Distant. Awkward.
Part of her wanted him to go back to Nashville so she could go back to the way her life was before. But deep in her heart she knew it would never be that way again. Not now that Jacob knew about Aria. He was going to want to be a part of her life.
She should be happy. Some women would give anything for a father who wanted to be involved in their children’s lives. But Kendra couldn’t muster up the enthusiasm. Not when seeing Jacob tore her apart.
“About last night…” Jacob looked at her and her mouth grew full of cotton. Why was he so good looking? She didn’t need that right now.
“Let’s not talk about it.”
He swallowed and scanned the road. “I just wanted you to know I meant everything I said.”
Kendra’s throat constricted and she blinked back emotion. He may have meant what he said, but she knew the reality. He would go back to being a huge country star once this visit was over. And she would go back to crying as she listened to his songs late at night, in the privacy of her room.
He stopped the car at the front entrance to the dollar store. “I’ll see you tonight.”
She stepped out onto the frozen parking lot. Guilt washed over her and she leaned down before closing the passenger door. “Thank you for being my taxi service. I probably don’t deserve it.”
He gave her a funny look. “I don’t mind.”
She smiled at him, then shut the door. The fact that he didn’t mind was exactly what bothered her. Jacob was kind just out of the goodness of his heart. That’s how he was. And she felt guilty for wanting to shove him out of her life.
But the pain of watching him leave her behind a second time was not something she was looking forward to.
Chapter 11
Jacob pulled down another shoe box from the top shelf of his mother’s closet. She was at the bookstore, working, so he had a few hours alone. But so far, he hadn’t found anything interesting.
He opened the lid of the shoe box. More doilies. How many doilies does a person need? He pulled the first few up to make sure there were no letters hidden below, and then replaced the lid and shoved it back.
He felt along the dark part of the shelf, where he couldn’t quite see, to look for anything hidden in the back. But all his fingers came in contact with was an air vent. It made a noise when he bumped it, like it was loose. A screw fell, rolled off the shelf and disappeared into the darkness of the closet floor.
Great. How was he supposed to find that? He bent down and felt around the carpet. No sign of it. He pulled out his cell phone and turned on the light. Then he got down on his hands and knees until he saw it propped up against one of the baseboards.
He picked it up and examined it. The screw looked like it had been painted over, years ago. But then all the paint had been scraped off the slots in the head, as if someone had been loosening that screw.
Jacob stood, puzzling over this. It seemed so odd to suspect his mother was hiding something in the vent. Wasn’t that something they only did in the movies? Still, he was curious enough to drag the step stool into the closet and climb up so he could have a better look.
The vent must have only had one screw, because none of the others were there. He tugged on the metal, and the vent came loose. He removed it, then raised his cell phone light to peer into the hole.
He was so surprised to find a stack of letters that he stepped back and the step stool tilted. His foot slipped off the edge and he fell backwards, hitting his head on the wall. It made a terrible racket, and he was glad he’d waited until his mother was at work, or she surely would be racing up the steps.
He climbed back up and grabbed the letters, then replaced the vent. He twisted the screw back in, but didn’t tighten it. He was too interested in the letters to care. He exited the closet and walked into his bedroom, sat at his desk and turned on his lamp.
The letters looked far too old to be the ones Kendra wrote to him. Examining at the name and address, he confirmed it. They were written to June Harrington, his mother’s maiden name, and were from someone named Michael Evans.
A stab of guild shot through him before he took out first one. He probably shouldn’t be violating his mother’s privacy, but he was insanely curious. He’d wanted to find the letters Kendra wrote to him. These were a surprise.
He pulled the first one out and read it.
Dear June,
I settled into my dormitory today. I miss you already. The campus is too large. I feel like I don’t belong here.
Tomorrow I have to register for my classes. I feel like this is a prison more than a college. I wish I were still in Highland Falls, with you.
I know it’s a whole year away, but maybe after you graduate you can move to California, so we can be closer. I know my father wouldn’t approve, but he doesn’t rule my life.
Well, maybe at the moment he does. But if you move out here, he won’t have any say. We could be together without him trying to destroy us.
I miss you. I’ll write more tomorrow.
All my love,
Michael
A gasp sounded behind him and he whirled around.
“What are you doing?” his mother asked, her hand at her throat. “What are those?”
Guilt surged in him, but he shoved it down. She was the one who had lied to him. This was her fault. If she hadn’t hidden Kendra’s letters, he never would have found these. “Who is Michael Evans?”
“Those are private!” Her hand shot out and she snatched the letters from his fingers.
“Who is he, mother?”
“How many did you read?”
“Just one.”
“How did you find these? Were you going through my things?” Her eyes widened as she pressed the letters to her chest. “Searching my closet?”
Jacob stood and exhaled a frustrated breath. “I’m sorry. I was looking for the letters Kendra wrote to me. The letters you never sent.”
His mother’s face drained of color and she took several steps back. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do. We both know you withheld those letters from me.”
She touched her forehead and closed her eyes. “I don’t feel so well. I think I feel a headache coming on. I need my medicine.”
Jacob didn’t want to act like a jerk to her, but he also wanted answers. “Sit down, Mother. I’ll get your medicine.” He pushed his chair to her and guided her into it. “But we’re not done talking about this.”
His mother moaned and put her hand to her head.
He walked into her bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. Her pills weren’t there. “Mother? Where is your medicine?”
“Downstairs. In the kitchen.”
He sprinted down the stairs and located the pills. He brought up a glass of water and her medicine. When he entered his bedroom, she was still in the chair, but the letters she had been clutching to her chest were gone. “Thank you, dear,” she said, taking the glass.
“Where did you put those letters?”
“What letters?”
He frowned. What kind of game was his mother playing? Of course she knew what letters he was talking about. She’d hid them after she sent him down the stairs. “Mother. Michael Evans. Who is he? Did you date him before my father?”
She shook out two pills into her hand. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He folded his arms across his chest. “Then I’m going to tear this house apart and find the letters again. I’m going to read every single one of them to find the answers to my questions.”
His mother paled. “You can’t do that.”
“Yes, I can. All I want to know is who Michael Evans was. You’re making it into something bigger than it has to be.”
“I’m so hot. Can’t we talk about this another time?”
“Mother.”
She huffed, then popped her pills into her mouth, washing them down with a drink of water. She set the glass on the desk with a thunk. “Fine. Michael and I dated before I met your father.”
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