Love Endures, Phoenix (Love Endures, #1)

by Michelle Stevens

Fresh Insight

  Glenn, alias Greywolf, had been Scott’s best friend. It was Glenn who’d helped me get the BBS back online after Scott’s death. I’d come to realize we needed each other’s company to get through the grieving process of losing him. Although I loved Scott with all my heart, I sensed his death was equally as hard on Glenn.

  During a conversation with him at my kitchen table, I was given a glimpse into Scott’s past, which was previously unknown to me. “So how long did you know him, Glenn?”

  He put his coffee mug down and smiled. “I became friends with Scott when we were thirteen. We lived on the same block, but didn’t hang with each other until the fateful day when the whole neighborhood was out playing baseball. Everyone scattered when the ball crashed through old man Hinkle’s window—but not Scott. Even though it wasn’t his fault, he faced the wrath of the old man. Scott spent the next few weeks doing odd jobs for the guy to pay back the cost. I had nothing better to do, so I joined him. We became inseparable after that.”

  Even as a kid, Scott had been brave. I loved my dead husband even more, and was curious what he’d been like in high school. I wanted to know more about Scott when he was a young man just starting out. “So, what was he like in high school?”

  “You would have laughed. He was a total geek.”

  “I don’t believe it.” I thought back to our first meeting. I remembered Scott’s muscular physique and the fact he came to the door dressed like he was going to the gym. “He was so confident and athletic the first time we met. Heck, he reminded me of a high school jock.”

  “Now, that is funny,” Glenn chuckled. “No, Scott was a hard working nerd. After school we spent hours playing video games at a local arcade. But I do remember he played baseball for a couple of years in Jr. High. Never lost the love for the game, though he stopped playing.”

  “Hmm, maybe that’s where he got his ‘jockiness’ from.”

  Glenn shrugged his shoulder. “It’s always possible.”

  Throughout our courtship, Scott never once brought up his high school girlfriends, so I felt compelled to ask his best friend. “Was he much of a ladies’ man back then?”

  Glenn laughed. “If you consider going out with one girl in eleventh grade who later dumped him for me a ‘ladies’ man’, then yes he was.”

  I frowned, protesting his assessment. “But Scott was such a catch!” I couldn’t believe my handsome husband had been rejected by a silly high school girl. I shook my head slowly at Glenn. “Scott sure must have hated it when his girlfriend dumped him for you.”

  He seemed troubled and didn’t speak for a moment. “Yeah, that was bad. It almost ended our friendship.” Glenn looked me in the eye, opening up for the first time. “I was a real ass back then, Beth. It’s not like I even cared about Rosalie, but when she showed an interest I took her up on it.”

  My jaw dropped. “And Scott forgave you for that?”

  “In the end, he decided if she was the type of girl to make a pass at his best friend then she wasn’t worth having.”

  I fingered the cross necklace Scott had given me for Christmas and huffed. “I might say the same about a best friend who takes his girlfriend up on it.”

  Glenn cleared his throat. “Yeah, like I said, Beth, I was pretty messed up back then. Scott understood why, but that’s no excuse for what I did.” He sighed heavily before adding, “I’m lucky he was a better man than me.”

  I didn’t think I would have been as forgiving as Scott, especially at the age of seventeen. I was impressed by Scott’s level of maturity, but it made me question Glenn’s. “What caused you to behave so badly?”

  Glenn closed his eyes and shook his head slightly. I sipped at my coffee, waiting patiently for him to answer. He remained silent, so I didn’t press him on it. However, there was something that concerned me based on the little he’d shared.

  “Can I ask you a question? If you betrayed Scott in high school, why did you ask me to join you on the BBS, Deserted Isle? Scott could easily have taken that the wrong way.”

  Glenn opened his eyes, looking directly into mine. Those blue eyes were impossible to read and I felt shut out. There was a sense of relief when he finally answered my question.

  “Scott knew. I told him about wanting to invite you to the Deserted Isle.” Glenn rested his chin in his hand. “Hell, I’d been trying to get him to join that BBS for over a year, but he resisted. I think Scott was curious to see what you would do.”

  I smiled, thinking back on it. “And what did I do? I totally fell for the practical joke you two set up.” I punched Glenn in the arm with a little more force than was warranted. “I haven’t quite forgiven you for that day at Elitch Gardens, Greywolf.”

  “It was a day not to be forgotten,” Glenn said, grinning as he rubbed his arm in feigned pain.

  “You big baby!” I hit him again for good measure. “Both you and Scott totally made a fool out of me that day.” Until that practical joke, I hadn’t known Scott and Glenn were best friends. At the amusement park they’d pretended to fight over me in front of the Deserted Isle users. The two had the audacity to laugh at my expense when I tried to smooth things over during their ‘fight’. The fact was, their little joke was so funny even *I* thought it was humorous—afterwards.

  Glenn smirked as he drank his coffee. “Scott did have a devilish sense of humor.”

  “It took both of you to pull it off, so don’t be putting all the blame on Scott, Wolffie! Still… I’m glad you invited me to Deserted Isle. They were a nice group of people.” It’d been ages since I had visited the site. “Do you still call there, Glenn?”

  “Only rarely.”

  “I stopped calling, I just don’t have the heart for any other BBS besides The Lighthouse these days.” I sighed, disheartened by the contrast of my life back then to now. I had been happy and carefree once upon a time...

  “I miss seeing you on the Isle, Phoenix.”

  I raised my eyebrow at Glenn’s playful use of my alias. If I didn’t know better, I might have taken his comment as an attempt at flirtation. But the guy was a natural flirt; had been since the day I met him. Fortunately for me, I was immune to his winsome ways.

  “Glenn, am I right in assuming you were a ladies’ man in high school?”

  He looked slightly embarrassed. “Not sure about the ‘ladies’ man title, but I had plenty of girlfriends in high school.”

  It didn’t surprise me. Glenn had a boyishly handsome face with blond hair and intense blue eyes. He was the object of much flirtation on The Lighthouse. “So, Casanova, what happened to all those girls?”

  “I never found anyone serious, but I sure had a lot of fun.” He grinned mischievously. “What about you, Beth? Break a lot of hearts in Montana?”

  I felt the heat rise to my face. Montana was a complicated can of worms for me. “No. I only dated a few guys during high school. I got serious with one in college, but… things didn’t work out.” My heart still ached from the shame of that breakup. “To be honest, it’s part of the reason I moved to Colorado. I needed a teaching job, but I also needed a fresh start.”

  “Sounds like it was a pretty serious relationship…” He leaned forward as if he hoped to hear more, but I wasn’t in the mood to talk about it. Instead, I steered the conversation back to him.

  “I’m a little curious. If you’ve had so many girls in the past, how come I don’t see you with anyone now?” His face went pale for an instant. It was rare for Glenn to give away his emotions like that, and it made me wonder if he was hiding some tragic love story.

  He got up from the table abruptly and asked, “Hey, do you mind if I wake Jonathan up?”

  I made a mental note that the topic of ex-girlfriends/boyfriends was off-limits for the two of us. I glanced at the clock above the stove. It was about the time Jonathan normally woke up from his nap so I answered, “Sure, you can get him out of the crib if you want.”

  He carried Jonathan into the kitchen still rubbing his
eyes with his tiny hands. I was pleased that Jonathan was looking more like Scott every day. His dark hair was finally starting to come in and his dark blue eyes were turning a dark shade of gray.

  “Looks like this guy had a good nap,” Glenn commented. Jonathan reached out to me and I took him into my arms gratefully.

  “Did you have pleasant dreams, little man?” I cooed as I rubbed noses with him. Jonathan stuck his fingers into his mouth and began sucking them.

  “I guess you woke up hungry, didn’t you?” I got up from the table to ready his bottle, grateful when Glenn offered to hold him again while I prepared it.

  He made silly faces at Jonathan, filling the kitchen with my son’s sweet laughter. “Hey Beth, I’ve been toying with the idea of coming over to visit Jonathan on Saturdays. What do you think?”

  I liked the idea of Jonathan having a male role model in his life, but I was still hesitant. I twisted on the nipple to the bottle and tested the temperature of the milk before responding. “Can I ask why?”

  “I want to be here for Jonathan.” Glenn paused before adding, “If I am honest, Beth, I need it. It helps to be around this little guy.”

  I understood completely. Jonathan was a connection to Scott and his innocent wonder of life was like a band-aid to my soul. “You know, Glenn…” I searched for the right words, “I hate to think what would have happened if I didn’t have Jonathan in my life.”

  I’d barely survived the dark days following Scott’s sudden death…

  With bottle in hand, I looked down at my son and smiled. “But you make it all worthwhile, don’t you, little man?” I reached out and tweaked Jonathan’s tiny nose.

  When I tried to take Jonathan from him, Glenn grabbed the bottle instead. “Do you mind?” he asked.

  “No, by all means.” I stood back and watched as he put the bottle to Jonathan’s lips. My son began sucking eagerly. I had to admit it was touching to see my son cradled in a man’s arms.

  Glenn seemed to enjoy his new role too, based on the grin he wore. “Okay, then we have a game plan, Beth. Expect me every Saturday morning at ten from now on. You won’t have to stay here or do anything.” He lifted Jonathan for emphasis and said, “I’m just here for the kid.”

  “Well, now don’t you know how to make a girl feel special?” I teased, but I was actually thrilled at the prospect of having a few hours on Saturday free. “I think I might just go visit Angie this weekend, if that’s okay.”

  “No need to ask. Consider it your time, Beth.”

  My mommy heart was happy for Jonathan. Glenn would make an excellent “uncle” for him. However, I couldn’t help celebrating for myself, too. Saturday’s had just become a goldmine of possibilities.

  The Unexpected

  I walked up to the brown sedan and peered through the shattered window to see the driver slumped against the door. I gasped when I saw his face. His eyes stared straight through me. It took an instant to register that he was dead. Relief washed over me.

  I turned towards the Fiero. I couldn’t bear it, but like a moth to a flame, I drifted towards the car. I tried to close my eyes, but they refused to shut. The car was smashed on the passenger side and twisted into the shape of a horseshoe. I saw his head resting against the steering wheel. I whimpered. I knew seeing his face would kill me, but I edged closer.

  The window on the driver’s side was gone, shattered in a million pieces on the pavement at my feet. But there was no blood to be seen. I tentatively held out my hand to touch the back of his neck and heard a groan. “Scott?”

  He lifted his head and turned towards me.

  I woke up gasping for breath, my heart racing. It took several minutes to realize it was only a dream; he wasn’t alive. Then reality set in… I grabbed for Scott’s pillow and moaned into it, rocking myself back to sleep.

  The dream represented my deepest desire; I wished that the man responsible for Scott’s death had died in the accident, not Scott. The resentment and rage I felt towards him had been eating at my heart ever since the day of the crash.

  The anger I felt was the catalyst to me finally screwing the courage to call a small group at Scott’s church. I took out the pamphlet I’d kept in Sarah’s bible and looked over the list of groups. I found one for families. It was fairly close to my home and the description mentioned there was babysitting available. It looked promising, so I forced myself to call.

  Carol’s warm voice instantly made me feel at ease. “We would love to have you come visit us, Mrs. Reiner. I have seen you around on Sundays with your sweet little boy. There are two other children his age in the group. We even have a babysitter.”

  “Do I need to bring anything?”

  “Oh no, we just do water and coffee. Nothing fancy, so we can concentrate on the good stuff. We start at six and end promptly at eight. I promise we will always end on time, because everyone has kids to put to bed.”

  It sounded doable. “I guess I will see you on Thursday then.”

  “Wonderful! It will be a treat to get to know you better. But remember, if our group isn’t a good fit for you, keep looking. Trust me, we won’t be offended.” I was grateful I could leave without upsetting the group if it didn’t work out.