Knights Burden (Rumblin' Knights, #4)

by Bella Jewel

  I don’t want to disappoint him. I don’t want to stop him giving Mick the help he needs. I just think we’re not the only ones who should be giving it. He needs a professional. I understand that I’ll never grasp what goes on over there, but I do know a dangerous man when I see one, and Mick is dangerous. He’s gone so far beyond himself that he doesn’t care about what he does to anyone.

  He scares me.

  “I’m sorry,” I say, my voice still angry, even though I’m trying to make it stop. “I just wish you’d see what’s going on ...”

  “What I see,” Brody says, grabbing his hat and his phone, “is a man that needs my fuckin’ help, and a woman who doesn’t even try to understand.”

  Then he storms out, slamming the door.

  I drop my head in shame and in confusion.

  I don’t know who’s right here.

  Brody or me.

  All I know is this could be the end of us if it doesn’t stop soon.

  “ARE YOU OKAY, HONEY?” Aria asks, handing me another beer as we sit around the bonfire we lit on the beach.

  “I don’t know where Brody is,” I tell her, frustrated. I’ve spent way too long overthinking things, and now I’m even angrier that Brody refuses to listen to me. “And we had a fight before he went. He said he’s disappointed in me.”

  Blade looks over, and says, “Because of Mick?”

  I nod.

  “Yep, because I told him I was upset that he was spending all his time with Mick and that he needs professional help. I didn’t mean it sound like I don’t care about Mick, because I do, but he scares me, if I’m being honest. He’s unstable. Brody doesn’t agree.”

  Blade nods, sipping his beer. “Can understand it from both sides. I know why Brody is lookin’ out for him, because he thinks he owes it to him, for some twisted reason. I agree with you, too, though. Mick is unstable. He’s goin’ to hurt himself, or worse, someone else, if he doesn’t get help soon.”

  “I agree,” Aria says. “Brody shouldn’t have put him so close to you both. He could have helped him without moving him in.”

  “I didn’t mind at the time,” I tell her. “I still don’t. It’s just Mick is now drinking a lot, and fighting, and getting into trouble. He pushed Brody down the stairs not that long ago. His temper is short. I can’t begin to imagine what is going on in his head, nor do I try to figure it out. He’s been through a lot, I totally respect that. But I also know right now he’s dangerous, and Brody won’t hear me out.”

  “Brody is stubborn like that,” Blade mutters. “He holds this one extra close because he feels like he let Mick down, and after what happened to him all those years ago, he takes this shit on way too seriously.”

  I exhale, because I know that’s true, but I also know that if Brody isn’t careful, this stuff with Mick will consume him and possibly get him hurt. I hate that he sees me as not caring, or unsympathetic, but that’s not the case at all. I do care. More than he knows.

  “I know,” I agree. “I do want to have his back, but Mick, he scares me. He’s dangerous, walking on a fine line that will snap someday soon and anyone on it with him will get taken down. I don’t want that to be Brody.”

  “I get that same vibe,” Aria admits. “There is something off about him for sure.”

  “My advice to you is talk to Brody about it, calmly, tell him exactly what your fear is. He loves you, he’ll listen. I’ll chat to him, too. Try and get on his side and see if we can get Mick some help,” Blade tells me.

  “I think the job idea is a good one, too,” Aria points out. “If he can commit to working, he’ll probably slowly come good. Even if Brody has to support him until he does.”

  Blade nods. “Yeah, I’ll talk to some people I know, see if I can get him some work.”

  “Thank you, guys.” I smile at them. “I don’t know where I’d be without you.”

  “There’s the party!”

  We turn to see Brody and Mick walking down the beach. Mick is drunk, it’s obvious even from here by the way he sways every few steps, but he seems calm, so hopefully Brody has made him chill out enough not to cause any more problems for the night.

  I don’t make eye contact when Brody pulls up a seat beside me, Mick sitting on the other side of the fire, chatting to Blade. I don’t look at him, because I’m angry. I’m angry that he thinks so low of me. That he thinks I’m cold enough that I’d throw Mick out without even trying to help. That I don’t understand what he’s trying to do.

  Yeah, I’m angry.

  I can feel his eyes on me as I stand and announce, “I’m going to get another drink.”

  I make my way toward the house. It’s incredibly dark out. The only guide is the lights shining from the beautiful home overlooking the ocean. I just walk toward those. As I get closer, it gets a little easier to see.

  “Goin’ to ignore me all night?”

  Brody’s voice creeps up behind me and I jump, having had no idea he was following me. I walk up the steps without a word and around the side of the house, heading toward the back entrance. A big hand curls over my shoulder, spinning me around and pressing me against the wall of the house in almost complete darkness.

  “What do you want, Brody?” I say, my tone snakey and pissed.

  “I want to know why you are ignorin’ me.”

  “You can’t be serious?” I mutter. “You basically accused me of being heartless, because I don’t understand what’s going on with Mick, and I’m concerned.”

  “You’re not even tryin’ to understand, or help him. You don’t want him around, that much is obvious.”

  I lose my shit.

  I’m sick of being made out like some sort of monster when I’ve been nothing but accommodating.

  “Did I complain once when Mick came to stay with us?” I yell, angry, fists clenched. “No! Do I not feed him every night, clean up after him, listen to him rage all through my house without complaint? Do I not stay the fuck out of his way, your way, and let you do your thing? How dare you accuse me of not caring, of not understanding. I’ve lived in my own home, feeling uncomfortable, for nearly two months now. I haven’t complained once. I’ve missed out on you, on our time together, on everything that matters to me, and I haven’t complained once. You want to know who’s fuckin’ selfish here, Brody? It’s you. Because you’re putting him before fucking everything, including me.”

  My voice has raised so much, I’m almost certain that everyone down at the fire probably heard, but I don’t give a crap. No, I don’t care because it’s true. I have been so accommodating and understanding, but I’ve had enough. Brody has put Mick before everything and has the nerve to accuse me of being unsympathetic when I bring it up.

  “You haven’t fucked me for weeks. So don’t you stand there and put all the blame on me, you ... you ... jerk!”

  I shove at his chest, but he doesn’t move.

  He doesn’t say anything.

  He’s just standing there, all six feet of pure muscle, not saying a damned word.

  He’s panting. I’ve pissed him off. Well good, I’m glad, because he made me damn angry too.

  “You want to be fucked, is that it?” he growls, his voice low and raspy.

  I hate that my body responds with a shudder and a clench in the places that have longed for him for the last few weeks.

  I want him to fuck me, more than anything.

  I also need him to understand.

  “I can fuck you. I can fuck you until you forget everything else but me.”

  His voice is sexy, so damned sexy. I can’t help the pathetic whimper that leaves my lips when his hands find my shorts and he jerks them down. Anger, passion, rage, sexual tension, it all builds until we’re both clawing at each other’s clothes, desperate to remove them, desperate to be close to one another.

  Brody frees his cock, lifts my leg around his hip, and then he’s inside me. He’s inside me deep and hard, and I stretch around him painfully, but it’s pure bliss. I love every second of it
. I love the way it makes me feel. I want to feel this moment right here, every day, for the rest of my life.

  “Oh, god,” I whimper as he starts fucking me with a force I’m sure he’s never used before.

  “You want to be fucked, baby, you just had to say that word.”

  I claw at his back as he drives into me, cock filling me, body surrounding me. It feels incredible, everything about Brody is incredible.

  “More,” I breathe. “Please, more.”

  He fucks me harder, faster, until I can’t hold back the moans of pleasure as I orgasm, clenching around him, fingers digging into his flesh. He hisses and then groans low and deep as he finds his release too, both of us desperate, both of us having spent way too long not having sex.

  When our bodies stop and our hearts slow and the pleasure subsides and turns into a blissful warmth, he pulls out and releases me. Silently, I pull my clothes back on and run my fingers through my hair, not that I think that’ll take away from the fact that I’m sure by now everyone knows we just had sex.

  I don’t know what to say to Brody, I don’t even know what to do.

  I don’t need to worry, he steps over and curls his hand around the back of my neck, pulling me close and kissing me softly, then he murmurs against my lips, “You’re everything to me, Melanie. Don’t ever doubt for a fuckin’ second that I’d die for you.”

  I swallow the lump that forms in my throat and whisper, “Then please listen to me. Please.”

  He exhales, and then tells me, “Tomorrow, we’ll talk. Tonight, let’s just enjoy, yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  As we walk back to the beach, hand in hand, I wonder how that’s going to go.

  Will he hear me?

  Or will he just listen because he knows it’ll shut me up?

  Either way, we’re going to fix this, or it will, without a doubt, be what breaks us.

  For good.

  9

  NOW – MELANIE

  WOW.

  There are simply no other words to describe how that fight felt inside. It was terrifying, and thrilling, and so captivating I couldn’t look away. I watched every moment of it, unable to tear my eyes from the two men beating each other in that ring. Every punch made my stomach turn, yet I couldn’t stop, I couldn’t pull myself from it. The roaring crowd, the way they got so into it.

  It was out of this world.

  Unlike anything I’ve ever felt or seen in my life.

  I can sort of understand now why Brody does what he does. Why it makes him feel better. Why it draws him closer. It could be one of the only things to tear his demons from him, one of the only things to truly silence them for just a little while.

  “What did you think?” Damon asks me, nudging me with his shoulder.

  “I don’t really know what to think, except wow. That was unlike anything I could have ever imagined.”

  “Pretty intense, yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Melanie,” Lincoln says, and I turn around to see him entering the room followed by a man. I have no idea who that man is, but he obviously knows Lincoln because he’s not acting like he’s worried or concerned.

  “Yeah?” I ask, a little concerned myself.

  “This is Jerome. He owns a fightin’ club. Might be able to help us find your boy. I’m goin’ to ask him some things, if anythin’ comes up that you recall, or brings any sort of memory, you let me know, yeah?”

  “Oh, yeah. No problem.”

  Jerome looks to Lincoln and mutters, “A woman, man? You serious.”

  “Trust me, she’s good. Nothin’ will leave this room. Promise you that.”

  Oh, boy.

  I feel a little uncomfortable now, that’s for sure.

  Damon shuffles a little closer, which makes me feel better.

  “We’re lookin’ for someone, someone who is trying to hunt down a fighter. A good fighter. He’s got beef with him, and he’s goin’ to take him on in a death match. Know you’re up there in who comes and goes. You got any big matches comin’ up?”

  Jerome nods. “Got one next weekend at Slay. Big fuckin’ deal. Shit loads of money on it. Lookin’ for some fighters to go up against the best out there, Sniper. You probably haven’t heard of him, he doesn’t come this way often.”

  Sniper.

  Sniper.

  I blink a few times, and then ask Lincoln, “Sniper is his name?”

  Lincoln nods, “It’s what he goes by, yeah. Familiar to you?”

  “I ...” I swallow, recalling hearing Brody talking about Sniper, but I assumed he was referring to something to do with Mick and his tour. I never realized it was a name. “Yes. I’ve heard that name. I just didn’t realize it was a name at the time.”

  “You think that could be the man he’s after?” Lincoln asks me.

  I nod. “I think it could be, yeah.”

  “Who you lookin’ for?” Jerome asks Lincoln, still studying me like he just doesn’t trust me.

  “Man named Brody.”

  Jerome raises his brows, “No fuckin’ kidding. He came in yesterday, lookin’ for someone to speak with in regard to that fight. Told him he was out of his fuckin’ mind, but he said he wanted to go against Sniper. Sent him away, but he told me he’d be back, over and over, until I agreed.”

  My heart starts to race. Brody was there? He was there? He’s still alive?

  I bring my hands together in my lap, squeezing tightly, trying to maintain my calm. Trying to be cool so we can get as much information as possible right now.

  “He got any chance of gettin’ in on that fight?” Lincoln asks.

  “That depends, right now I ain’t got anyone to go against Sniper at this stage, so I came here tonight to see if you had a fighter. You tell me he’s good for it, I’ll consider it. Sniper is undefeated. He’ll be risking his life. But he already knows that.”

  “No,” I say, my voice way too high pitched and freaked out for my liking. “No, he’s not going in. Tell him no, Lincoln. Tell him that Brody is not going to fight. Tell him.”

  Damon puts a hand on my shoulder, squeezing gently. “It’s okay, calm down.”

  “Not my call to make, Melanie,” Lincoln tells me. “Brody is goin’ to find a way in, one way or another. If you’re asking for my honest opinion on this, this is the safest option for him. Unless you can get him to give up completely, to put his plans of revenge to rest, then he’ll find a way into Sniper’s cage, so to speak, no matter how hard we fight him. At least I can prepare him, if I know he’s goin’ in.”

  “No,” I cry out, frustrated. Why are they helping him? Why aren’t they listening to me? “Damon, tell them no!”

  “Damon,” Lincoln says calmly, “take her out.”

  “Lincoln!” I screech, panic gripping my chest. “Don’t sign him up to die! Don’t be a monster!”

  “Brody signed himself up to die, get that through your head, Melanie,” Lincoln roars, frustrated. “If I sign him up, I give him a fightin’ fuckin’ chance of livin’. If I don’t, he’ll go in alone and die without a doubt, or worse, he’ll find another way to get to Sniper and it’ll find him dead, too. Either way, he’s goin’ to do this. Take your emotion out and use your brain.”

  “Fuck you,” I cry angrily as Damon grabs me and starts pulling me out of the room. “You were supposed to help me, damn you! Not sign him up to die!”

  Damon takes me out of the room, out of the club, and the entire time, I’m just glaring straight ahead. I’m so angry I tremble. I’m so damn disappointed in Lincoln. He’s sending Brody into the lion’s den, without even giving him a chance. Without even giving me a chance. What if I could talk to him? To change his mind? To do something, anything to stop him?

  Are they even going to give me that chance?

  If Brody finds out he can fight, nothing in the world I say or do will stop him.

  What if I can stop him?

  Lincoln is taking that away from me.

  Damn him.

  Damn them all.


  “YOU CALM?” DAMON ASKS when we arrive back at Lucy’s apartment.

  I get out of the car without saying a word. I haven’t said a word since we left that club. I walk up the front steps into Lucy’s apartment. When I get inside, she’s already home and her boyfriend, Nicolai, is here, too. He’s a nice guy, but it’s hard for me to say that with confidence considering this is only the second time I’ve seen him.

  “Hey,” Lucy says, standing, her cheeks flushed. “How did it go?”

  I look at her, and she must see the pain in my eyes, because she immediately loses her smile and says, “Melanie? Is everything okay?”

  “No,” Damon says, walking into the apartment behind me. “No it’s not okay. She’s pissed.”

  I spin around, frustrated. “And why wouldn’t I be, Damon? Your brother is going to send Brody off like he’s nothing. Like his life means nothing.”

  “If you’d listen, with an open mind, you might understand ...”

  “Understand what?” I screech. “That you’re all okay with this? I’m not. You’re not even giving me a chance to go and see if I can change his mind.”

  “If his mind could be changed, Melanie, it would have been by now. You know that. Deep down you know that.”

  “I’m not listening to this,” I say, my voice cracking.

  I turn and walk down the hall and into my bedroom, shutting the door. I walk over to my bed and sit on the end of it, head dropping, heart burning.

  I don’t even want to move. I have nothing right now.

  I don’t know what to feel, or what to do. The worst part is feeling like I have nobody on my side. Like once again, I’m completely alone. I pull out my phone and I dial Lee. He’s been trying to call every single day, and other than me flicking him and everyone else a few texts to tell them I’m okay, I haven’t spoken to any of them.

  I just can’t.

  But right now, I need him. I need someone who will understand.

  “Mel?” he says, the minute one ring has gone through.

  He answered that fast I’m not prepared. For a moment, I just sit there in silence.