Kamasutra

by Vatsyayana Mallanaga

  30 Encouraged by her foster-sister, the girl enters the man’s house. Placing the foster-sister between them, she offers to play dice with him, or some other game, or just to chat. When she is not dressed up she avoids letting him see her. When he asks her for her ear-ornament or ring or garland, she takes it off her body, very slowly, and puts it in his friend’s hand. Anything that he gives her she wears all the time. When there is talk of another suitor, she becomes dejected and will have nothing to do with people of that suitor’s faction.

  31 There are two verses about this:

  When a man sees these gestures and signals

  full of erotic feeling,

  he starts thinking of various ways

  to make love with that virgin.

  32 A man wins a young girl by children’s games,

  a woman in the prime of youth, by the arts,

  and a mature, affectionate woman,

  by winning over the people she trusts.*

  CHAPTER FOUR

  [28] The Advances that a Man Makes on his Own

  1 When he has seen a virgin’s gestures and signals, he uses some method to make advances to her. 2During a game of dice or some other game, he disagrees with her and takes her hand, with a meaningful expression on his face. 3He follows the rules for the embraces that have been described, beginning with the ‘touching’ embrace.* 4He cuts a leaf into the shape of an embracing couple and shows it to her to suggest his own intentions, 5and, from time to time, he shows her other shapes of this sort. 6When they are playing in the water, he dives underwater at some distance from her, comes up close to her, touches her, and dives underwater again right there. 7In games like ‘new leaves’,* he confesses his special erotic feelings, 8and he tells her about his suffering, without explaining it, 9and about an erotic dream, pretending that it was about another woman. 10At a theatrical spectacle or in a group of her people he sits down near her and finds some excuse to touch her. 11He presses his foot against her foot as if to use it as a footrest. 12Then he touches her toes, one by one, little by little, 13and presses the tips of her toenails with his big toe. 14If he succeeds in this, he wants more, step by step. 15And he keeps doing it so that she eventually tolerates it.

  16 When she is washing his feet, he presses her fingers by using his toes as a pincer. 17Whenever he gives her anything or receives anything from her, he invests it with erotic feeling. 18When he has washed out his mouth, he sprinkles her with the water. 19When the two of them are seated in a deserted or dark place, he makes her let him do what he wants, or when they are lying down in the same place. 20There he lets her know his true feelings, without distressing her. 21‘I have something to tell you in private’, he says, and there he demonstrates his feelings without speaking (as we will describe in the discussion of other men’s wives). 22But if he knows her feelings, by faking an illness he gets her to come to his own home to bring him news. 23When she comes to him, he gets her to rub his head; and he takes her hand and places it, feelingly, on his eyes and forehead. 24Under the pretext of preparing medicines, he charges her with something to do, 25saying, ‘You must do this, for no one but a virgin can do it.’ And when she leaves, he lets her go only after getting her to promise to return. 26He uses this method for three nights and three twilights. 27When she comes to him, he stretches out their conversation in order to see her again and again. 28Even with other women present, he makes more and more advances to her to win her trust (though he does not tell her with words). 29‘For’, says Ghotakamukha, ‘even a man whose feelings have gone far does not succeed with virgins by remaining indifferent.’ 30But only when he thinks that he has succeeded quite well with her does he start to make advances. 31It is commonly said: ‘In the evening, at night, and in darkness, women’s fears are muted, they resolve to make love, they are full of passion, and they will not refuse a man. Therefore this is the time to have them.’

  32 But if there are no advances that a man can make on his own, he gets her girlfriend or foster-sister—who knows his purpose and is close to the girl but does not tell her his purpose—to bring the girl to his arms. Then he makes advances to her as has been described above. 33Or he can get one of his own servant women to make friends with her at the very start. 34At a sacrifice, a wedding, a pageant, a festival, a disaster, in the crowd engaged in watching a theatrical spectacle, and here and there, he sees her gestures and signals,* tests her feelings for him, gets her alone and makes advances to her. 35Vatsyayana says: Women who have revealed their feelings and who are propositioned at the right time and place never turn away. Those are the advances that a man makes on his own.

  [29] The Advances that a Virgin Makes to the Man She Wants

  36 A virgin may have good qualities but only modest opportunities; or she may come from a good family but have no money and therefore not be sought by the men who are her peers; or she may have been separated from her mother and father, or live in the family of her relatives. When such a virgin reaches the prime of her youth, all by herself, she tries to get married.* 37With a childlike love she makes advances to a good-looking, strong young man of good qualities. 38Or if there is someone of whom she thinks, ‘Disregarding the opinions of his mother and father, this man will fall for me all by himself, because his flesh is weak’, she takes possession of him by doing him favours that please him and by seeing him all the time. 39Her mother, with her girlfriends and foster-sisters, keeps her in his sight. 40With flowers, perfumes, and betel in her hand she stays near him in deserted places at odd times. In demonstrating her skill in the fine arts, or in massaging him or scratching his head, she shows how experienced she is. She tells stories that are tuned to the nature of the man she wants, and she behaves as has been described in the discussion of making advances to a young girl.*

  41 Scholars say: ‘Not even when she is very close to him should she herself make advances to a man. For a young woman who makes advances to a man herself destroys her luck in love.’ 42But she goes along with his advances, 43and when he embraces her she betrays no emotional excitement. She receives his signals blandly, as if she did not understand them. Only when he forces her does she let him grasp her mouth. 44When he begs her to imagine his sexual arousal, only with great difficulty can she bear any touching of the hidden places.*45 And even when he begs her, she is not very open with him, because time is uncertain and changeable. 46But when she thinks, ‘He is in love with me and will not turn away’, only then does she urge the man who is making advances to her to free her from her state of childhood. 47And when she has lost her virginity, she reveals this to the people she trusts. Those are the advances that a virgin makes to the man she wants.

  [30] The Advances that Win a Virgin

  48 And there are verses about this:

  But a virgin who is pursued

  chooses to marry the man who, she thinks,

  will support her and give her pleasure,

  who will do what she likes and is in her power.

  49 When greed for money makes a virgin

  marry a man without considering

  his good qualities, his appearance, or his experience,

  or even the rivalries among his other wives,

  50 then she will not entice a man who has good qualities,

  a strong man who is in her power,

  who seeks her with all his might

  and makes advances to her with various methods.

  51 Better even a poor man in her power,

  even a man without good qualities, who supports himself alone,

  than a husband who has many people to support,

  even if he has good qualities.

  52 The wives of rich men are generally many and headstrong,

  and even though they have superficial enjoyments,

  their pleasure, too, is superficial,

  for they have no intimate trust.

  53 But if a man who is of low birth

  makes advances, or a greybeard,

  or a man inclined to travel abroad,


  he is not fit for union.

  54 Nor is a man fit for union

  who makes advances on a whim,

  or who is addicted to dishonest gambling,

  or who has a wife and children.

  55 One wooer should be wooed

  among suitors who have the same good qualities:

  this suitor is the best

  because his very nature is love.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  [31] Devious Devices for Weddings

  1 When it is virtually impossible for a man to see a virgin alone, he insinuates himself into intimacy* with her foster-sister by giving her pleasing things and doing favours for her. 2Pretending not even to know the man, the foster-sister gets the girl to fall in love with him because of his good qualities. She describes mostly the man’s qualities that are pleasing to the girl, 3and she emphasizes the faults of the other suitors that especially conflict with the girl’s desires, 4with her parents’ greed and lack of understanding of good qualities, and with the fickleness of her relatives. 5And she tells the girl stories about other virgins of equal caste, such as Shakuntala, who found a husband by their own resolve and made love with great joy,* 6while women in illustrious families are likely to be oppressed by co-wives, hated, miserable, and rejected. 7She describes what the future would be like with him; 8she describes the unblemished happiness and the man’s love for his one and only wife. 9To a girl who wants him, she gives reasons that dispel her fear of danger, anxiety, and embarrassment. 10She performs all the functions of a messenger. 11By saying, ‘The man will take you by force, as if you knew nothing about it’, she gets her to say, ‘Yes, that would be entirely acceptable.’

  12 When the girl has been won over and waits for him in the place of assignation, the man marries her by taking consecrated fire from the house of a Brahmin who knows the Veda, spreading sacred grass on the ground, making an offering of oblations in accordance with the ritual texts, and circumambulating the fire three times. 13Only then does he inform her mother and her father,* 14because the scholars’ rule says, ‘Weddings witnessed by the consecrated fire cannot be revoked.’ 15And after he has taken her maidenhead, he gradually informs his own people. 16Then he gets her relatives to give her to him, in order to wipe out the stain on the family honour and out of fear of reprisals. 17Immediately, he wins over her relatives with endearing gifts and by his love. 18That is how he carries out a love-match wedding.*

  19 If he is not winning her over, he enlists the help of another girl of good family, who moves freely between both houses, who is affectionate and was in the past intimate, and he has her bring the girl with her to an accessible place on some pretext. 20Then he brings the fire from the house of a Brahmin who knows the Veda, and so forth, just the same as above. 21If a wedding is to take place soon, he makes the girl’s mother regret it because of the faults in the other groom that he brings to her attention, 22and then, with the mother’s permission, the man is brought to a neighbour’s house at night, and he brings the fire from the house of a Brahmin who knows the Veda, and so forth, just the same as above. 23Or the girl may have a brother of the same age as the man, who is addicted to courtesans and to the wives of other men; the man wins his love by doing him endearing favours and giving him help in difficult affairs, for a very long time. In the end, he confides his intentions to him. 24For in general, young men will even give up their lives for the sake of contemporaries of the same character, vices, and age. Therefore, the brother is the one that he gets to bring her to an accessible place on some pretext, and so forth, just the same as above.

  25 And on festivals such as the eighth day of the waning half of the month in autumn, her foster-sister gives her an intoxicating drink and, on the pretext of something that she herself has to do, brings her to the man in an accessible place. There, when the drink has made her unconscious, he takes her maidenhead, and so forth, just the same as above.

  26 Or when she is sleeping alone (because he has kept her foster-sister away), while she is unconscious, he takes her maidenhead, and so forth, just the same as above.*

  27 Or when the man finds out that she has gone to another village or to a park, he comes there with a strong force of helpers and frightens off or murders the guards, and carries off the virgin.* Those are the devious devices for weddings.

  28 With regard to maintaining religion,

  each form of wedding is better than the one that follows it;

  but each time the preceding one is not possible,

  the following one should be used.*

  29 For since mutual love is the fruit

  of wedding rites, therefore even

  the love-match wedding, though of middling rank,

  is respected as a means to a good end.

  30 Indeed, the love-match wedding is regarded

  as the best of all, because it gives pleasure

  and costs little trouble and no formal courtship,

  and because its essence is mutual love.

  BOOK FOUR · WIVES

  CHAPTER ONE

  [32] The Life of an Only Wife

  1 An only wife, with deep, intimate trust, treats her husband like a god and always acts in ways compatible with him. 2Following his thinking, she takes on herself his cares about the household. 3She keeps the house clean and heart-warming to look at, with well-polished surfaces, all sorts of floral arrangements, and smooth and shiny floors, and she makes sure that offerings are made three times a day and that the gods in the family shrine are properly honoured. 4For, Gonardiya says,* ‘Nothing holds the heart of householders like this.’ 5She treats the man’s older relatives, servants, sisters, and sisters’ husbands according to their merits.

  6 In well-weeded plots of ground she sees to the planting of beds of herbs and green vegetables, and clumps of sugar-cane, and patches of cumin-seed and caraway, mustard seed, parsley, soy-beans, and bay-trees; 7and musk rose, gooseberry, white-flowered Indian jasmine, Spanish jasmine, red amaranth, Arabian jasmine, East Indian rose bay, Adam’s apple, China rose, and other flowers, as well as other plants that make a great display, such as Indian lemon grass, beard-grass, and scurvy grass. And in the orchard she makes charming plots of open ground8 and has a well dug, or a pool or a pond, in the middle of it. 9She does not have a close relationship with any woman who is a beggar, a religious mendicant, a Buddhist nun, promiscuous, a juggler, a fortune-teller, or a magician who uses love-sorcery worked with roots. 10In preparing meals she finds out, ‘This is what he likes, this is what he hates, this is good for him, this is bad for him.’

  11 When she hears his voice outside as he approaches the house, she stands ready in the centre of the house and says, ‘What should be done?’ 12Pushing aside the female servant, she herself washes his feet. 13She does not let the man see her alone when she is not wearing make-up and jewellery. 14If he has spent too much or spent the wrong amount, she tells him in private. 15Only with his permission does she go to a betrothal, a wedding, or a sacrifice, or get together with her girlfriends, or visit the gods. 16In any game, she follows his lead. 17She lies down after him, gets up before him, and never wakes him up when he is asleep. 18She keeps the kitchen well guarded and well lit. 19Mildly offended by the man’s infidelities,* she does not accuse him too much, 20but she scolds him with abusive language when he is alone or among friends. She does not, however, use love-sorcery worked with roots,* 21for, Gonardiya says, ‘Nothing destroys trust like that.’ 22She refrains from bad language, nasty looks, talking while avoiding his gaze, standing at the doorway or gazing from it, chatting in the park, and lingering in deserted places. 23She guards against her own sweat, dirty teeth, and bad body odour, for these cool his passion. 24When she goes to him to make love, she wears gorgeous jewellery, a variety of flowers and scented oils, and a dress dazzling with many different tints. 25Her everyday dress is made of delicate, smooth, thin silk, with a modest amount of jewellery, good perfume but not too much of scented oils, and flowers both white and of other colours. 26When the man fasts or
follows a vow, she herself also undertakes this for her own purpose; if he tries to stop her, she refutes his arguments, saying, ‘I am not going to be thwarted in this matter.’

  27 When the price is right, at the right time, she buys household goods made of clay, bamboo, wood, leather, and iron. 28She lays in a stock of salt and oil as well as hard-to-get perfumes, spices, and medicines, and keeps them hidden within the house. 29And she buys, and sows at the proper season, the seeds of all sorts of edible plants, such as radishes, arrowroot, ginger, wormwood, mangoes, melons, cucumbers, eggplants, pumpkins, squashes, round yams, trumpet-flowers, horse-eye beans, sesame, sandalwood, glory-tree, garlic, and onions. 30She does not tell other people about her own assets or about her husband’s counsels. 31She surpasses all the women of her group in her skill, her dazzling appearance, her cooking, her pride, and her services. 32She calculates the year’s income and adjusts the expenditure to it. 33She makes butter from the milk left over from meals, and also from sesame oil and molasses. She spins threads from cotton balls and then weaves cloth with those threads. She collects string-bags, cords, ropes, and bark-fibres; she oversees the grinding and pounding; when rice is boiled, she makes use, afterwards, of the water, the froth, the husks, the uncooked kernels, and the coals. She knows the servants’ wages and maintenance. She sees to the tilling of the fields, the care of the cattle, and the upkeep of the carriages. She looks after the rams, cocks, quails, parrots, pheasants, cuckoos, peacocks, monkeys, and deer. And she prepares the daily portions of income and expenditures.