Shatter

  Seems me being struck by Craig had drawn some unwanted attention in my direction. Despite the sunglasses I wore, people I had never spoken to in school were asking me questions. The one person I wanted to avoid most right now was Al, but that had not gone as planned; she caught me right after third period. Her eyes scanned over my face, searching for signs of light in my eyes but there was none to be found. I think she knew, how empty I felt.

  “Let me see.”

  “It’s not that bad.”

  “Serah, take off the damn sunglasses.”

  Letting out a deep sigh, I reached up and removed them. Placing a hand to her mouth, Alana had let out soft gasp before reaching up to gently cup my cheeks, tilting my head.

  “How can your mother be okay with this?”

  “Does it matter, Al? She is his puppet. I don’t exist to her.”

  “We need to tell the police.”

  Jerking my head away, I scoffed and shook my head before slamming the door to my locker shut. She grabbed hold of my arm lightly and looked me dead in the eyes.

  “So what, you are just going to ignore the fact that piece of shit hit you?”

  “Look, Al, it’s not a big deal. Shit happens.”

  “Really? Shit happens? Why did he even do it?”

  “Because…when I got home, they found out the school called. Craig went on this speech about how from now on my mom will take me to and from school. I’m not allowed to go anywhere.”

  “For what? Why? What, because the school called?”

  “Because I’m with you. Until I stop seeing you, that’s how it’s going to be.”

  The minute her footsteps stopped following my own, I turned around to see the expression on her face. She was shocked, and perhaps a little sad.

  “So, it really bothers him that much?”

  “Al, I don’t care what he thinks. Or, what he is making my mother think. They can do whatever they want. I’m not breaking up with you.”

  “What if he hits you again? I’m not going to be the reason you end up in pain. I won’t stand by and…”

  Allowing my hand to rest against her cheek, I placed a slow and deep passionate kiss to her lips, to silence her words. People were staring. Funny thing was, in this moment? I didn’t care! Breaking the kiss, I pulled back, speaking against her lips in a hushed whisper,

  “You are the reason I’m not in pain. I’m not letting you go. If I do, I might just lose myself.”

  Her arms wrapped around me as she held me close. Hugging her back I gave a soft smile before leaning back and placing a kiss to her forehead.

  “I love you. Remember that, Al.”

  Giving a silent nod, we finally parted ways and headed to class. To be honest, I didn’t know how things would turn out if I kept seeing Alana, but I wasn’t about to let her go. How could I? I can imagine you’re sitting there thinking: How can you possibly be in love at such a young age? How can you know what it is, what it means? Funny thing is. Love isn’t something you can just find, you can’t look for it. Love? It just happens, comes along when you least expect it. Six months ago, that’s how long ago I found Alana, or rather, she found me. There was something about the way the light caught her eyes, the way her laughter just made me find my own. When we spent those first few days together, it was like my heart just stopped. Being with her made everything easy, made all the pain from my past bearable. I let my walls down and let her in, and never planned to let her go. When you meet someone that can make your darkest days seem bright, that can take your pain, share it with you, to love you for your past, and accept you into their future. That is love!

  Feeling a small nudge against the back of my foot, I leaned my head to the side to look at Tyler, who had obviously been trying to get my attention. Mrs. Bright was too enthralled with grading papers in a vigorous and aggressive manner to notice the fact the two of us had begun talking during class. Even with the sunglasses, it was obvious to Tyler that my eye was fucked up.

  “Dude, the fuck happened to your eye?”

  “Walked into a tree branch.”

  “Must have been a big branch. Seriously, what happened?”

  “You know. You are like the millionth person to ask me that today.”

  “Yeah? And how many times did the story change?”

  That was actually a pretty good question, considering my stories had ranged from tripping to getting hit by a softball during gym class. Though, most seemed to go along with whatever bull spewed from my mouth but not Tyler.

  “Touché.”

  “Indeed. C’mon, Vega, I’m worried about you.”

  “Stepdad socked me for dating Alana.”

  “That’s fucked up. Want me to kick his ass?”

  “Thanks, but I think I’ll be just fine.”

  “Ms. Farrow. Is there something you and Mr. Gauge would care to share with the rest of the class?”

  Clearing my throat, I turned back to look at Mrs. Bright shaking my head with a smirk,

  “Not particularly. No.”

  “Then I suggest you keep it quiet, and take off those sunglasses so I know you’re awake.”

  “I’d rather not. I have a migraine.”

  “And I have little patience. Now, take them off!”

  Mumbling beneath my breath, I sat upright in my chair and had taken off my sunglasses and set them to the side, some of the other students started to murmur, and Mrs. Bright? Her face held a bit of shock and concern. Thankfully, class had not lasted much longer as sixth period ended with the bell sounding. Before I could leave the class, I had been stopped by Mrs. Bright as she had closed the door behind us and looked to me with crossed arms.

  “I know I may not be the nicest teacher, however your eye does raise concern with me. Mind telling me what happened? And please spare me a lie. My son has gotten into his fair share of fights, so… who did you fight with?”

  Great, not only were half the students being nosy, now I had a teacher asking questions? How the hell was I supposed to avoid this? Why can’t people mind their own business?

  “Look. I got hit with a softball during gym glass.”

  “Ok. Come on, let’s go.”

  Moving to the door, she had opened it up and motioned for me to follow her though, I didn’t. I had just stood there with a confused expression not knowing what to do.

  “Go where?”

  “To the principal’s office.”

  “What? Why do I have to go see the principal?”

  “If you got hit with a softball you have nothing to worry about, right?”

  Something tells me there was more to her than I knew, she was playing a tough hand. Do I tell her the truth and deal with whatever happens or go see Mr. Shuler and possibly bring more trouble to myself? With a deep sigh, I shook my head and looked to her with a bit of defiance.

  “That’s not fair.”

  “Listen, Vega. If you’re being abused at home, I need to know. This is something that can’t be ignored.”

  “I’m not being abused. It’s just… Look, my stepdad and I don’t see eye to eye and we had an argument. That’s all.”

  “So, he hit you?”

  “Yes. But I will deny it if you make me go to the office.”

  “Why? Are you trying to protect him?”

  “No, far as I’m concerned he could rot in a ditch.”

  “That seems a bit violent don’t you think?”

  “You don’t know him very well then.”

  “Listen. You’re right, I can’t make you go. But understand, my door is open if you wish to talk.”

  “Can I go now?”

  Moving to the side she opened the door further, and I all but ran out that door; the last thing I needed was to draw any unnecessary attention to the situation at hand. I knew that teachers were obligated to report to the board or other staff if they thought, or suspected a child was being abused, but I had to just keep playing it off for now. Al and I had met up after eighth period, pretty much skipping the last class of the
day, which Mr. Carter wouldn’t notice or care. He was one of those teachers that knew students would do what they wanted, and more to that? It was just homeroom again.

  Al sat in my lap beneath the bleachers as we passed a blunt back and forth, my body had already begun to relax, and not just from the weed, but more so from being with Alana. There was just something about her that made everything else just fade away, and yet, being with her was dare I say, dangerous? Leaning her head back, she exhaled a thick cloud of smoke which I took in slowly before sealing our lips together, her hands tangled to my hair. My own hands trailed down along her sides before gently gliding along her abdomen, and I couldn’t help but tug at the bottom of her lip with a playful chuckle. Breaking the kiss, I placed several small chaste kisses to her lips before lacing our fingers together, her words breaking the silence,

  “Do you love me?”

  “Alana, of course I love you! Why would you ask such a thing?”

  “Then why not stay away, save yourself the trouble?”

  “Because you are the type of trouble worth getting into.”

  “Flattery will get you nowhere. But I’m serious.”

  “So am I. Al, listen to me. I don’t care what anyone says. I’m not breaking up with you.”

  “Starting to think I corrupted you.”

  “So, what if you did? I kind of like it.”

  Feeling my phone vibrate, I slid it out of my pocket before letting out a low curse and had sighed.

  “My mom’s out front, I have to go.”

  “Stay, please?”

  “You know I can’t Al. Don’t worry, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Getting up, we shared one last kiss before parting ways. Somehow, I would try and figure out a way to get around this situation but for now, it was best to just go home. Getting into the car, I turned to look at my mother who placed a hand onto my cheek, her thumb brushing across it slowly, though I jerked my head away.

  “Does it still hurt?”

  “And you care because?”

  “Vega, regardless of how you think of me, I do care and love you.”

  “You have a funny way of showing it. You should know, one of my teachers wanted to take me to talk with the principal. She thinks I’m being abused.”

  “You didn’t say anything did you? Craig could lose his job.”

  “See, there you go again. Craig! And no, don’t worry I didn’t.”

  “Honestly, why can’t you just get along with him?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because he is abusive to you? To me? He’s keeping me from being happy.”

  “He isn’t abusive, he’s just…He just gets a little angry sometimes.”

  “And that justifies his actions? Next time he raises a hand to you or me, he will regret it.”

  When the car stopped I had gotten out before she could even say a word to me; I was furious that much was for certain, but I needed to keep my anger in check. As I sat in my room, I pulled on my headphones listening to a mix between old school rock and punk. Music just helped me focus on my work or to distract my mind. But that was a little hard when all I could think about was how I could regain my freedom, be with Alana, without consequence or trouble.

  Chapter 11

  Into Darkness

  The last few weeks had been nothing but hell, every move I made was literally being watched, not just by my mother, but by teachers in my school. Apparently, my behavior had become erratic and though my grades were still decent, they had dropped enough to cause concern and raise questions about my future in college. Erratic wasn’t the word I would have chosen for my behavior. Rebellious – that’s what I would call it, and I had every right to act in such a way. Since my mother and Craig weren’t willing to grasp the concept of Alana and I never breaking up, I had to act out, prove my point. Don’t get me wrong; I will be the first to admit that I had been drinking and smoking pot more than I would like to admit to. How, you ask? It was simple. I had a select few students I trusted to cover for me while Al and I ducked out of whatever class we needed to be able to see one another. Sadly, even Alana’s parents were starting to worry about the behavior of their own daughter. Could it have been possible, that we were toxic for one another? Or was it the promise of the party life that drew us in closer and closer to the darker side of things? Highly doubted it. Ask anyone around you what high school was about behind the scenes. Popularity, parties, who was the school slut, who was the richest and the poorest. Everything was a contest to everyone, if you didn’t meet certain standards, you were unpopular, or just plain didn’t exist.

  Though, Tyler, Alana and I just didn’t seem to care, to be honest, we were the group nobody fucked with. Not because we were violent, or crazy, it’s because we were like family. If you messed with one of us, you messed with us all. Then, there was Kyle. Our senior hook up, in party terms of course. You pissed him off, you got nothing, or were just black listed, which meant you were banned from all parties. Problem was, how the hell was I going to manage to sneak out tonight? Or, better yet, stay out? As the bell rang, my thoughts scattered before I picked up my books and headed down to the cafeteria. Grabbing my food, I met up with Alana as we sat at our usual table with Kyle and Tyler who had already finished eating, as always. Taking in a deep breath, I set my book bag down before looking to the three of them.

  “I might not be able to go tonight.”

  “What, dude, are you fucking crazy? Tonight’s going to be off the wall, Vega, you can’t miss it!”

  If only Tyler knew how much I didn’t want to miss it, this was the only time I could spend time with Alana, real time, without limitations or prying eyes.

  “She’s on total parental lock down, remember?”

  “Alana is right. I couldn’t leave my house, even if I tried.”

  “What if I could help out?”

  The three of us looked at Kyle; he was one of those private guys, never really talked much but when he did, you paid attention. Taking a few bites of my pizza, I waited a few moments before speaking,

  “No offense, but how would you even be able to help?”

  “All I have to do is show up. Ask if you can spend the night so we can finish a class project.”

  “Why would they believe that, and why would they let me stay the night?”

  “Because…my dad is a cop!”

  Both Tyler and Alana nearly choked on their food, including me. I was in total shock, how the hell did any of us not know that Kyle’s dad was a cop? Though, it would explain a hell of a lot.

  “The fuck. Really Kyle? You never told us, dude.”

  “Tyler, how do you think I get anything for your parties?”

  “Dang, that’s tight. Kyle you’re one sexy bad ass, you know that?”

  “Al, I’m right here you know.”

  “Oh, relax Vega. I only have eyes for you.”

  “That’s so generic, I almost want to vomit.”

  “Well, Vega, what’s it going to be? You want me to bust you out or not?”

  I had to think carefully about this, not that I ever cared to get caught at a party before, but Alana would be there, we would be together and I needed to be careful. Then again, I really didn’t want to miss out on this one opportunity, to be able to just let loose, lose all self-control and for once have fun.

  “Alright, when are you going to swing by?”

  “Don’t worry about it. I’ll just show up. The less you know the better.”

  “Alright, guess I’ll see you whenever.”

  As the bell rang, we all stood up and went our separate ways. I would try to remain at least somewhat hopeful, and somewhat positive that things would go according to Kyle’s plan. Of course, the rest of the day just seemed to drag on, and it was that last bell of the day that had me practically running out the door. Playing it cool was a bit of a challenge as my mother had driven me home from school, and dinner was more silent than usual. As soon as I had eaten, I had gone upstairs and finished whatever homework I had lef
t, knowing that the next day would be miserable if I drank too much. Hearing the doorbell ring, I sat up and had given myself a smirk at the sound of Kyle’s voice as he had spoken to Craig.

  “Can I help you?”

  “Yeah, I’m here to ask if Vega could come over? We have a big project that’s due Monday morning.”

  “Really? And what might that be?”

  “We got paired up by our Psychology teacher to record and study sleep patterns”

  “And I thought things got easier with school.”

  I made the decision to come downstairs just as Kyle was explaining himself to Craig, though my mother was right behind me, having come downstairs with a basket of dirty laundry.

  “Craig, who’s at the door?”

  “It’s my friend Kyle, Mom.”

  “Kyle? Is there something he needs?”

  “Yeah, he says he and Vega have a project due Monday, wants her to spend the night working on it.”

  “I don’t know, Vega. You? Spending the night with a boy!”

  “Mrs. Farrow, my father will be home all night. Being that my father is a cop, I assure you, you have nothing to worry about.”

  “Listen, Mom, this project is important. Just because exams are over doesn’t mean I can slack, right?”

  Craig inhaled deeply before looking to his watch then over to my mother before he spoke,

  “Fine, you can go. But your ass better be home by noon tomorrow. Come on, Rachel, hurry up, our reservation is at eight.”

  I didn’t even wait for either of them to change their minds as I grabbed Kyle’s hand and left with him, a wide grin plastered on my face as we got into his truck and drove off.

  “That, was fucking genius. Sleep study project?”

  “Believe it or not, saw it in a movie. Worked pretty well.”

  “I’ll say, man I can’t wait to party, been a long week.”

  “Who you telling? Coach has been riding my ass all week about my grades. I’ll be lucky if I get to play in any of the games next week.”

  “Coach Kress would be stupid to take you out. You’re the only quarterback that’s good.”

  “Don’t let Tyler hear you say that.”

  I couldn’t help but start laughing, though it’s not like I was lying about it. Tyler sucked as a quarter back, he couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn if he tried. Now, put him as a linebacker? Well, the team had no worries, he was after all, a big guy, and when he tackled someone it took them a moment to recover. As we pulled up to Tyler’s place, nothing but anticipation flowed through my veins but mainly because I wanted to see Alana in the worst way. Climbing out of the truck, I carved a path through the students that had gathered in the backyard, the music was blaring and the drinks were pouring.