Works of Robert W Chambers

by Robert W. Chambers

  “Dr. Delmour used up every film in the camera to record the scientific triumph of the ages.”

  Almost idiotic with the shock of my great grief I reeled and tottered away among the bowlders. Fooss came to find me; and when he found me he kicked me violently for some time. “Esel dumkopf!” he said.

  When he was tired Lezard came and fell upon me, showering me with kicks and anathema.

  When he went away I beat my head with my fists for a while. Every little helped.

  After a time I smelled cooking, and presently Dr. Delmour came to where I sat huddled up miserably in the sun behind the bowlder.

  “Luncheon is ready,” she said.

  I groaned.

  “Don’t you feel well?”

  I said that I did not.

  She lingered apparently with the idea of cheering me up. “It’s been such fun,” she said. “Professor Lezard and I have already located over a hundred and fifty mammoths within a short distance of here, and apparently there are hundreds, if not thousands, more in the vicinity. The ivory alone is worth over a million dollars. Isn’t it wonderful!”

  She laughed excitedly and danced away to join the others. Then, out of the black depth of my misery a feeble gleam illuminated the Stygian obscurity. There was one way left to stay my approaching downfall — only one. Professor Bottomly meant to get rid of me, “for the good of the Bronx,” but there remained a way to ward off impending disaster. And though I had lost the opportunity of my life by disbelieving the simple honesty of James Skaw, — and though the honors and emoluments and applause which ought to have been mine were destined for this determined woman, still, if I kept my head, I should be able to hold my job at the Bronx.

  Dr. Delmour was immovable in the good graces of Professor Bottomly; and the only way for me to retain my position was to marry her.

  The thought comforted me. After a while I felt well enough to arise and partake of some luncheon.

  They were all seated around the campfire when I approached. I was welcomed politely, inquiries concerning my health were offered; but the coldly malevolent glare of Dr. Fooss and the calm contempt in Lezard’s gaze chilled me; and I squatted down by Daisy Delmour and accepted a dish of soup from her in mortified silence.

  Professor Bottomly and James Skaw were feasting connubially side by side, and she was selecting titbits for him which he dutifully swallowed, his large mild eyes gazing at vacancy in a gentle, surprised sort of way as he gulped down what she offered him.

  Neither of them paid any attention to anybody else.

  Fooss gobbled his lunch in a sort of raging silence; Lezard, on the other side of Dr. Delmour, conversed with her continually in undertones.

  After a while his persistent murmuring began to make me uneasy, even suspicious, and I glared at him sideways.

  Daisy Delmour, catching my eye, blushed, hesitated, then leaning over toward me with delightful confusion she whispered:

  “I know that you will be glad to hear that I have just promised to marry your closest friend, Professor Lezard—”

  “What!” I shouted with all my might, “have you put one over on me, too?”

  Lezard and Fooss seized me, for I had risen and was jumping up and down and splashing them with soup.

  “Everybody has put one over on me!” I shrieked. “Everybody! Now I’m going to put one over on myself!”

  “‘Everybody has put one over on me!’ I shrieked.”

  And I lifted my plate of soup and reversed it on my head.

  They told me later that I screamed for half an hour before I swooned.

  Afterward, my intellect being impaired, instead of being dismissed from my department, I was promoted to the position which I now hold as President Emeritus of the Consolidated Art Museums and Zoölogical Gardens of the City of New York.

  I have easy hours, little to do, and twenty ornamental stenographers and typewriters engaged upon my memoirs which I dictate when I feel like it, steeped in the aroma of the most inexpensive cigar I can buy at the Rolling Stone Inn.

  There is one typist in particular — but let that pass.

  Vir sapit qui pauca loquitor.

  UN PEU D’AMOUR

  When I returned to the plateau from my investigation of the crater, I realized that I had descended the grassy pit as far as any human being could descend. No living creature could pass that barrier of flame and vapour. Of that I was convinced.

  Now, not only the crater but its steaming effluvia was utterly unlike anything I had ever before beheld. There was no trace of lava to be seen, or of pumice, ashes, or of volcanic rejecta in any form whatever. There were no sulphuric odours, no pungent fumes, nothing to teach the olfactory nerves what might be the nature of the silvery steam rising from the crater incessantly in a vast circle, ringing its circumference halfway down the slope.

  Under this thin curtain of steam a ring of pale yellow flames played and sparkled, completely encircling the slope.

  The crater was about half a mile deep; the sides sloped gently to the bottom.

  But the odd feature of the entire phenomenon was this: the bottom of the crater seemed to be entirely free from fire and vapour. It was disk-shaped, sandy, and flat, about a quarter of a mile in diameter. Through my field-glasses I could see patches of grass and wild flowers growing in the sand here and there, and the sparkle of water, and a crow or two, feeding and walking about.

  I looked at the girl who was standing beside me, then cast a glance around at the very unusual landscape.

  We were standing on the summit of a mountain some two thousand feet high, looking into a cup-shaped depression or crater, on the edges of which we stood.

  This low, flat-topped mountain, as I say, was grassy and quite treeless, although it rose like a truncated sugar-cone out of a wilderness of trees which stretched for miles below us, north, south, east, and west, bordered on the horizon by towering blue mountains, their distant ranges enclosing the forests as in a vast amphitheatre.

  From the centre of this enormous green floor of foliage rose our grassy hill, and it appeared to be the only irregularity which broke the level wilderness as far as the base of the dim blue ranges encircling the horizon.

  Except for the log bungalow of Mr. Blythe on the eastern edge of this grassy plateau, there was not a human habitation in sight, nor a trace of man’s devastating presence in the wilderness around us.

  Again I looked questioningly at the girl beside me and she looked back at me rather seriously.

  “Shall we seat ourselves here in the sun?” she asked.

  I nodded.

  Very gravely we settled down side by side on the thick green grass.

  “Now,” she said, “I shall tell you why I wrote you to come out here. Shall I?”

  “By all means, Miss Blythe.”

  Sitting cross-legged, she gathered her ankles into her hands, settling herself as snugly on the grass as a bird settles on its nest.

  “The phenomena of nature,” she said, “have always interested me intensely, not only from the artistic angle but from the scientific point of view.

  “It is different with father. He is a painter; he cares only for the artistic aspects of nature. Phenomena of a scientific nature bore him. Also, you may have noticed that he is of a — a slightly impatient disposition.”

  I had noticed it. He had been anything but civil to me when I arrived the night before, after a five-hundred mile trip on a mule, from the nearest railroad — a journey performed entirely alone and by compass, there being no trail after the first fifty miles.

  To characterize Blythe as slightly impatient was letting him down easy. He was a selfish, bad-tempered old pig.

  “Yes,” I said, answering her, “I did notice a negligible trace of impatience about your father.”

  She flushed.

  “You see I did not inform my father that I had written to you. He doesn’t like strangers; he doesn’t like scientists. I did not dare tell him that I had asked you to come out here. It was entir
ely my own idea. I felt that I must write you because I am positive that what is happening in this wilderness is of vital scientific importance.”

  “How did you get a letter out of this distant and desolate place?” I asked.

  “Every two months the storekeeper at Windflower Station sends in a man and a string of mules with staples for us. The man takes our further orders and our letters back to civilization.”

  I nodded.

  “He took my letter to you — among one or two others I sent — —”

  A charming colour came into her cheeks. She was really extremely pretty. I liked that girl. When a girl blushes when she speaks to a man he immediately accepts her heightened colour as a personal tribute. This is not vanity: it is merely a proper sense of personal worthiness.

  She said thoughtfully:

  “The mail bag which that man brought to us last week contained a letter which, had I received it earlier, would have made my invitation to you unnecessary. I’m sorry I disturbed you.”

  “I am not,” said I, looking into her beautiful eyes.

  I twisted my mustache into two attractive points, shot my cuffs, and glanced at her again, receptively.

  She had a far-away expression in her eyes. I straightened my necktie. A man, without being vain, ought to be conscious of his own worth.

  “And now,” she continued, “I am going to tell you the various reasons why I asked so celebrated a scientist as yourself to come here.”

  I thanked her for her encomium.

  “Ever since my father retired from Boston to purchase this hill and the wilderness surrounding it,” she went on, “ever since he came here to live a hermit’s life — a life devoted solely to painting landscapes — I also have lived here all alone with him.

  “That is three years, now. And from the very beginning — from the very first day of our arrival, somehow or other I was conscious that there was something abnormal about this corner of the world.”

  She bent forward, lowering her voice a trifle:

  “Have you noticed,” she asked, “that so many things seem to be circular out here?”

  “Circular?” I repeated, surprised.

  “Yes. That crater is circular; so is the bottom of it; so is this plateau, and the hill; and the forests surrounding us; and the mountain ranges on the horizon.”

  “But all this is natural.”

  “Perhaps. But in those woods, down there, there are, here and there, great circles of crumbling soil — perfect circles a mile in diameter.”

  “Mounds built by prehistoric man, no doubt.”

  She shook her head:

  “These are not prehistoric mounds.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because they have been freshly made.”

  “How do you know?”

  “The earth is freshly upheaved; great trees, partly uprooted, slant at every angle from the sides of the enormous piles of newly upturned earth; sand and stones are still sliding from the raw ridges.”

  She leaned nearer and dropped her voice still lower:

  “More than that,” she said, “my father and I both have seen one of these huge circles in the making!”

  “What!” I exclaimed, incredulously.

  “It is true. We have seen several. And it enrages father.”

  “Enrages?”

  “Yes, because it upsets the trees where he is painting landscapes, and tilts them in every direction. Which, of course, ruins his picture; and he is obliged to start another, which vexes him dreadfully.”

  I think I must have gaped at her in sheer astonishment.

  “But there is something more singular than that for you to investigate,” she said calmly. “Look down at that circle of steam which makes a perfect ring around the bowl of the crater, halfway down. Do you see the flicker of fire under the vapour?”

  “Yes.”

  She leaned so near and spoke in such a low voice that her fragrant breath fell upon my cheek:

  “In the fire, under the vapours, there are little animals.”

  “What!!”

  “Little beasts live in the fire — slim, furry creatures, smaller than a weasel. I’ve seen them peep out of the fire and scurry back into it.... Now are you sorry that I wrote you to come? And will you forgive me for bringing you out here?”

  An indescribable excitement seized me, endowing me with a fluency and eloquence unusual:

  “I thank you from the bottom of my heart!” I cried; “ — from the depths of a heart the emotions of which are entirely and exclusively of scientific origin!”

  In the impulse of the moment I held out my hand; she laid hers in it with charming diffidence.

  “Yours is the discovery,” I said. “Yours shall be the glory. Fame shall crown you; and perhaps if there remains any reflected light in the form of a by-product, some modest and negligible little ray may chance to illuminate me.”

  Surprised and deeply moved by my eloquence, I bent over her hand and saluted it with my lips.

  She thanked me. Her pretty face was rosy.

  It appeared that she had three cows to milk, new-laid eggs to gather, and the construction of some fresh butter to be accomplished.

  At the bars of the grassy pasture slope she dropped me a curtsey, declining very shyly to let me carry her lacteal paraphernalia.

  So I continued on to the bungalow garden, where Blythe sat on a camp stool under a green umbrella, painting a picture of something or other.

  “Mr. Blythe!” I cried, striving to subdue my enthusiasm. “The eyes of the scientific world are now open upon this house! The searchlight of Fame is about to be turned upon you—”

  “I prefer privacy,” he interrupted. “That’s why I came here. I’ll be obliged if you’ll turn off that searchlight.”

  “But, my dear Mr. Blythe—”

  “I want to be let alone,” he repeated irritably. “I came out here to paint and to enjoy privately my own paintings.”

  If what stood on his easel was a sample of his pictures, nobody was likely to share his enjoyment.

  “Your work,” said I, politely, “is — is — —”

  “Is what!” he snapped. “What is it — if you think you know?”

  “It is entirely, so to speak, per se — by itself—”

  “What the devil do you mean by that?”

  I looked at his picture, appalled. The entire canvas was one monotonous vermillion conflagration. I examined it with my head on one side, then on the other side; I made a funnel with both hands and peered intently through it at the picture. A menacing murmuring sound came from him.

  “Satisfying — exquisitely satisfying,” I concluded. “I have often seen such sunsets—”

  “What!”

  “I mean such prairie fires—”

  “Damnation!” he exclaimed. “I’m painting a bowl of nasturtiums!”

  “I was speaking purely in metaphor,” said I with a sickly smile. “To me a nasturtium by the river brink is more than a simple flower. It is a broader, grander, more magnificent, more stupendous symbol. It may mean anything, everything — such as sunsets and conflagrations and Götterdämmerungs! Or—” and my voice was subtly modulated to an appealing and persuasive softness— “it may mean nothing at all — chaos, void, vacuum, negation, the exquisite annihilation of what has never even existed.”

  He glared at me over his shoulder. If he was infected by Cubist tendencies he evidently had not understood what I said.

  “If you won’t talk about my pictures I don’t mind your investigating this district,” he grunted, dabbing at his palette and plastering a wad of vermilion upon his canvas; “but I object to any public invasion of my artistic privacy until I am ready for it.”

  “When will that be?”

  He pointed with one vermilion-soaked brush toward a long, low, log building.

  “In that structure,” he said, “are packed one thousand and ninety-five paintings — all signed by me. I have executed one or two every day since I came here. Wh
en I have painted exactly ten thousand pictures, no more, no less, I shall erect here a gallery large enough to contain them all.

  “Only real lovers of art will ever come here to study them. It is five hundred miles from the railroad. Therefore, I shall never have to endure the praises of the dilettante, the patronage of the idler, the vapid rhapsodies of the vulgar. Only those who understand will care to make the pilgrimage.”

  He waved his brushes at me:

  “The conservation of national resources is all well enough — the setting aside of timber reserves, game preserves, bird refuges, all these projects are very good in a way. But I have dedicated this wilderness as a last and only refuge in all the world for true Art! Because true Art, except for my pictures, is, I believe, now practically extinct!... You’re in my way. Would you mind getting out?”

  I had sidled around between him and his bowl of nasturtiums, and I hastily stepped aside. He squinted at the flowers, mixed up a flamboyant mess of colour on his palette, and daubed away with unfeigned satisfaction, no longer noticing me until I started to go. Then:

  “What is it you’re here for, anyway?” he demanded abruptly. I said with dignity:

  “I am here to investigate those huge rings of earth thrown up in the forest as by a gigantic mole.” He continued to paint for a few moments:

  “Well, go and investigate ‘em,” he snapped. “I’m not infatuated with your society.”

  “What do you think they are?” I asked, mildly ignoring his wretched manners.

  “I don’t know and I don’t care, except, that sometimes when I begin to paint several trees, the very trees I’m painting are suddenly heaved up and tilted in every direction, and all my work goes for nothing. That makes me mad! Otherwise, the matter has no interest for me.”

  “But what in the world could cause—”

  “I don’t know and I don’t care!” he shouted, waving palette and brushes angrily. “Maybe it’s an army of moles working all together under the ground; maybe it’s some species of circular earthquake. I don’t know! I don’t care! But it annoys me. And if you can devise any scientific means to stop it, I’ll be much obliged to you. Otherwise, to be perfectly frank, you bore me.”