The Redeemers

by T. J. Martinell

  “You come here often?” Carl asked.

  “The owner is not one of us, but our people came here first, so it is ours, if you know what I mean.”

  “Nice to be the son of the guy running the whole thing.”

  Tony’s face grew dark as it lowered. His tone was firm. “I have never received special treatment because of my father. I do not want it. Everything I have today is because of my own efforts. You understand?”

  “Sure. Didn’t mean nothing by it.”

  His face softened, a grin reappearing. “Forgive me, but many have accused me of it. What makes a lie sting so badly isn’t when it’s simply not true, but it is the opposite of reality. I could have had a nice office position right next to my father. I could have received all the comforts and privileges that come with being his son. But when the possibility was raised, I chose to be what I am.”

  “Why?”

  “A true man does not take what he has not earned. What makes a man truly worthy of accomplishment, what makes a man worth something, is what he does to achieve greatness.”

  “Why did you come here?” Carl asked. “Since we’re here talking, might as well throw that out there.”

  “I came to find my father. What about you? You came here for something.”

  “You came to find. I came to get away.”

  “From your father?”

  Carl flick imaginary lint off his clothes. “No.”

  Tony poured the last amount of wine into his glass, while Carl had another brandy brought to him and enjoyed the moment of silence. He was finally satisfied no harm would come to him there. Tony’s burner phone went off in his pocket. He sighed, took it out, and muted it before putting it away.

  “Haven’t seen on of those in a while,” Carl said.

  “I would imagine. I don’t understand your people. Forgive me for my frankness, but your man Norton is such an archaic fellow. He lives in the past and insists you all do. This desire to live as you do is admirable, I suppose, but it is not practical.”

  “We are what we are.”

  “But no cell phones? No Internet?”

  “It’s inconvenient, but all of that shit is overrated. It made life fake. Everything feels artificial there. I wouldn’t trade what I have for the convenience you get.”

  Carl took out a pack of Virginia tobacco cigarettes, offered one to Tony. They took out their respective lighters and smoked. Not many others in the library were smoking, the air filled with the blended aroma of saltwater and seafood from the fish and chips vendor outside the front entrance.

  “At least the women do not mind your outdated methods, eh?” Tony said, raising his bushy black eyebrows.

  Carl’s first thought was to grin, but then he thought of Kaylyn and their fight that morning. It had been the second one in a week.

  They had never fought before. He couldn’t figure her out, what had gotten into her.

  He mumbled off a reply, which Tony took as humility.

  “They are wonderful creatures, are they not?” he said reflectively. He leaned back in his chair and blew cigarette smoke into the air, sighing reminiscently. “I have traveled to many places, but the women here are most lovely. I did not think I would find them so agreeable.”

  “Hopefully you came here for more than your father and the women.”

  “But what did you come here for? What were you running away from?”

  Carl crossed his arms, his elbows still planted on the table. He stared at the empty wine bottle. Tom knew the answers, or at least most of it. It made no sense, but talking about it with Tony seemed appropriate. His confidence would not be betrayed.

  “I got canned from my reporting job at a news site because I wouldn’t let them censor my work,” Carl said. “I got back home that afternoon to tell my mom. She flipped shit and started yelling and throwing things at me. I’ve heard her scream before. I’ve seen her get upset. But this was pure rage. She started all sorts of crazy shit. Getting canned because of the ISA was pretty much a death sentence for my career, and I hadn’t even started yet.”

  “What did she say?”

  Carl stared off blankly. For some reason, he felt like it was time to speak of it, what he had held close to his chest for so long. He had thought Norton would hear it first. Apparently not.

  “She told me how I had failed her, how I was a disappointment just like my father had been, and that’s why she got rid of him.”

  Tony seemed aghast. Carl went on with a matter-of-fact tone. “Up until then, I had been under the impression he had left us, that he had left me. That’s how it got put to me when he walked out the door. But apparently, she had kicked him out and then later divorced him. I don’t want to get into all the details, but she made it clear to him that he wouldn’t seem me again and if he did she’d make sure I hated him and wouldn’t want to speak to him. He left everything to her and walked out. Growing up, I always wondered what I had done to make him leave. I didn’t hate him, but I felt as though he had abandoned me. I was angry at him for not explaining why. All he said was ‘where you are, I was, where I am, you will be.’”

  “I see.”

  “When she told me that years later, all the anger I had toward him went away. Everything he had said to me the day he had left made sense. He’ll probably never know that she didn’t win out in the end.”

  Carl coughed again. There was no tickle or lump in his throat, no sniffing or moistness in his eyes. “I realized everything I had known about him had been a lie, the same day I realized that what I had been told about life was a lie. The ISA wasn’t there to protect us from misinformation; it was there to make sure we’re controllable, that we stay controllable, and that nothing could compromise that. It tore my whole world apart. I began to question everything. What else did I believe that was a lie? It was as though I had been forcibly ejected from a false reality and was only beginning to see the world for what it was. Looking back now, I am amazed that I came here at all. I wasn’t thinking about the dangers or the risks. I wanted to know the truth. I wanted to live in a place where I wasn’t lied to, no matter how tough it was to accept the truth. But I wanted to be free, and I knew if I stayed there I could never be free. You cannot be free around those who live for a lie, because sooner or later they will fight to protect it. The ISA is here not because we write things they don’t like, but because they also live for a lie and will kill and die for it, because they’d rather do that than accept the truth.”

  Tony studied him with a cryptic face, hiding his mouth behind his wine glass. He sipped on the wine and then set it down.

  Suddenly he started to clap very gently. “Well done.”

  “What?”

  “I hope you don’t take this the wrong way. It only confirms my impression of you, what I knew of you.”

  “Why do you care so much? I’m your enemy, aren’t I?”

  “Then why tell me your life story just now?”

  “You obviously wanted to hear it.”

  Tony lowered his voice as he leaned forward. “You do not know what it is like to be in my position. I have my father, and I want to think he is proud of me. But I want to be around those like me, and it seems the only people like me are against me.”

  “What about your Fremonty pals?”

  “They live for another cause. Not like us; not like you and I.”

  Carl moved his head curiously. “Are you trying to make me an offer?”

  “No. I know you too well. You took an oath. You would not leave Norton for anything I might offer. I just wanted to talk to a man like myself for once and know what drives him. That is all.”

  “Can’t complain about that.”

  “Do not take this the wrong way, but it is unfortunate your father did not get to see his son become what he is.”

  “He didn’t, but I will - and anyone who gets in the way of that won’t be long for this world.”

  ***

  Carl looked up and over at the door to his place as Kaylyn walk
ed in. He had invited her over after meeting up at the library, hoping to work out their disputes. He still didn’t know what it was over.

  He went to kiss her, but she artfully dodged it and headed to the bathroom without a word

  He scowled, wanted to say something, but held his tongue until she had come back out. He opened his mouth and stopped, gawking at the frumpy jeans and sweatshirt she wore. He felt discomfort instead of desire.

  “What happened to your dress?” he asked.

  “I changed, of course.”

  “I liked that dress.”

  “Well, you got to see me in it all tonight.”

  She fixed herself a drink by the standing bar. Carl watched her, quietly fuming. This had been going on for too long. They were going to have it out sometime. Might as well be now.

  He got up and approached her. He went to kiss her again, but she strained her neck away as she completed making her drink. Ducking beneath him, she walked to the other side of the room by the window and sat beside the sill.

  He could hardly move, unable to keep his thoughts straight. “What’s going on?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Why are you ignoring me?”

  “I’m here, aren’t I?”

  “Yes, but you aren’t interested in being near me. I remember when that wasn’t the case.”

  She played with the ends of her hair as she gazed out the window. “Everything okay?”

  “What’s bothering you?”

  “Why do you keep asking that when I keep telling you nothing’s wrong?”

  “Because it’s hard to take that seriously when you act like something is wrong.”

  Twirling her hair over her shoulder, she enjoyed her drink and took her time answering like the evening would never end. “Carl, do you ever think of leaving here?”

  “Here? You mean to another part of town?”

  “No. I mean this city.”

  “To where?”

  She shrugged with one shoulder. “I don’t know. Anywhere else. Somewhere far away.”

  “Why would I do that?”

  “Aren’t you tired of being here?”

  “No. Besides, I made a promise to Norton. I can’t break it, for anyone.”

  “I didn’t know you were so loyal.”

  “What the hell does that mean?”

  She jerked her head as she looked at him, her complexion dimmed by the dead lightbulb in the fixture near her. Warmth returned to her voice. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it in a bad way.”

  He exhaled noiselessly and went over to her. He tentatively reached out for her shoulder. She didn’t resist this time. He moved closer and brushed his fingers against her arm. No resistance there, either.

  She abruptly spun around and kissed him, wrapping her arms around his neck. He sensed a deep anxiety within her.

  “Why did we get stuck in this mess?” she said. “Why couldn’t we have been born some other time?”

  “I don’t know. What time would you like to have been born in?”

  “Anytime but this time. Sometime when things weren’t so complicated.”

  “It’s only as complicated as we make it.”

  She walked over to the bed and began to remove her clothes and fold them neatly on the floor. He scarcely heard her reply as she lay down on the bed, her head tilted back across the pillow.

  “I so wish it were true.”

  ***

  Carl got back in the car. Tom was chatting on the radio, letting Childs know when they return to the newsroom. The interview with their source had gone down without a hitch. Another success in a week of successes, for the most part.

  Tom put down the radio and went to shift gears. He looked at Carl, saw him instinctively frowning. “What’s up?”

  “Nothing.”

  He shrugged and shifted gears and drove. Carl flipped through his notes, fumbling for a cigarette. His coat pocket wouldn’t open right away. He swore and ripped at the button, tearing it off. It flicked out and struck Tom by his left ear.

  “Hey! What’s going on over there?”

  “Nothing.”

  He kept driving, but glanced at Carl out the corner of his eye. “You’ve been acting weird lately. What’s eating you?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Bullshit. You’ve been in the same mood day in and day out. Even when we’re out drinking.”

  They stopped by their usual lunch spot, a local fish and chips stand. The vendor recognized them by their car and had their orders out ready for them by the time Carl came to pay with copper coins, the currency the vendor insisted on with everyone. They drove to the makeshift parking lot near the stand and ate together while leaning against the car.

  “Come on, man,” Tom said. “The suspense is killing me.”

  “Then why aren’t you dead?”

  “Very funny.”

  They finished their food and threw the garbage away in a bin by the food stand. They were getting in the car when Carl paused, his door ajar.

  “I love her,” he said.

  Tom perked up, turned his head slowly. “Well, that figures. You’ve been seeing her long enough. You see her every night. What do you expect?”

  Carl kept eating.

  “You’ll get over it,” Tom said. “You just need to start see some other girls again. This whole one-woman thing is confusing you.”

  Back in the car, Carl abruptly spoke. “I want to marry her.”

  Tom blinked fast and looked at the steering wheel. He then let out a strange laugh. “Have you gone completely out of your mind? You wouldn’t be thinking of this unless something big happened. Or was about to happen. Which is it?”

  “I want to have a family.”

  “Since when?”

  “People change. I changed. You’ve changed. We all have.”

  “Not that much. Not this fast.”

  Carl pointed at the road. “We’re going to be late. We should get going.”

  Tom sighed, conceding the argument for the moment. When they got back to the newspaper, Tom whispered in Carl’s ear as they walked through the foyer.

  “She won’t do it.”

  “Yes, she will.”

  “Yeah? Then ask her.”

  “When?”

  “Tonight.”

  Carl stopped in the middle of the foyer. “I’m not ready to ask.”

  “What? You’re looking for some rock to give her?”

  “No.”

  Tom looked around, waited for the few people in there to leave. He then shook his head.

  “God in Heaven. You don’t know what you want anymore.”

  “I know I want to be with her.”

  “You are with her.”

  Carl couldn’t hardly believe his own words. “I want to have a family with her.”

  “Then ask her tonight. If she doesn’t say ‘yes’ tonight, she won’t say ‘yes’ ever.”

  ***

  Carl fidgeted anxiously in his chair at the library. No sign of Kaylyn yet. And he had come an hour early to talk to her.

  Tom was relishing the last drop of his brandy, trying not to look as though he pitied his friend. They had no monetary wager, but the argument had turned into a bet. Carl still couldn’t believe he had made it.

  Her tardiness was starting to eat at him. She was never late. And the music was perfect for the occasion, the pianist performing a gentle serenade. The dancefloor was packed with reporters and local girls.

  He checked his watch. An hour and five minutes. He was tempted to track down the manager for the evening, but decided against it. That was bring attention he didn’t need, or want.

  “Relax,” Tom urged. “She’ll be here.”

  It was a friendly consolation. Or he perceived the angst in Carl’s face as he reached for his sixth cigarette in a half an hour, asking the waiter for a newspaper – any paper - and to empty the ashtray as he lit the cigarette. When the newspaper came, he sat crossed-legged and pretended to be interested in t
he front page.

  “Want up the wager?” Tom asked.

  “Leave me alone.”

  He abruptly tossed the paper on the table and stood up, meandering over to Duong and Ian’s table. He eased into their conversation about cars and rattled off a bunch of nonsense that was vague enough to evade their notice. They were also intoxicated to the point where they couldn’t tell and didn’t care. Duong switched over to telling stories about his neighborhood in the Midwest and how he had left that girl behind to escape the gang.

  “You break hearts?” Ian hiccupped.

  “Better than you tie your ties,” Duong replied, flipping Ian’s improperly fitted tie in the air. Ian swore and took it off and tried, but being drunk made the difficult task tenfold challenging for him. It got a good laugh from the table, including a tense Carl. Even after all these years and endless practicing, he still couldn’t get it right.

  A whistle from behind him.

  It was Tom; he gestured with head toward the entrance. There, a hurried Kaylyn was taking off her overcoat, making final touches to her hair as she approached the podium and examined the guestbook. She didn’t look over at their table to see if he was there. It angered him, but made him even more fearful. And desperate.

  He walked over to her and waited for her to notice him. She greeted the incoming patrons and smiled, but didn’t look behind her. It got to the point where it seemed deliberate.

  “Kaylyn.”

  Her head moved slowly, eyes sparkling with the same luster as the new jeweled necklace around her neck. “Hi.”

  “You’re late.”

  She fluttered her eyelashes. “Are you my new manager?”

  He stammered, and she went to welcome more guests. As they passed him, he took Kaylyn’s arm.

  “You and I need to talk.”

  “We’re talking right now.”

  “Alone.”

  Her playful smile evaporated. “What’s going on?”

  “Can we talk for a second?”

  She checked the hallway. It was empty.

  “Ok.”

  They snuck through the kitchen into an empty space. She turned on the feeble light fixture and stood by the doorway. He walked inside, until he realized he was in the shadows.