What the Heart Needs

by Kelli McCracken

  “Sometimes we don’t always choose the right path to follow, Dylan. While God creates us to serve a purpose, he still gives us freewill. We can either choose to use our gifts to serve him. Or we can choose to follow darkness. It’s easy for one of the unfortunate to choose the darker path.”

  Dylan couldn’t speak. Could only stare at his mother as the words rolled from her lips. If it hadn’t been for the sunrays filtering through the blinds, he’d never have noticed the moisture in her eyes. He’d always known that a part of her still cared for his father. They were soulmates. Unfortunate or not.

  “So Dad chose to walk this dark path, which ended your friendship ended.”

  He’d aimed the comment toward Anna and Nicholas, but neither of them responded. They stared in each other’s eyes, as though they were having their own private conversation. Which they probably were considering Nicholas could read minds.

  “You’re right, Dylan,” his mother finally answered. “Your father chose the path of darkness. We couldn’t follow.”

  He couldn’t help but wonder if this is why his parents divorced. “Why would he do that?”

  “Jealousy,” Nicholas grumbled beside him. His eyes never left Anna’s nor did the sadness leave hers as she stared up at her husband. More secrets lay between them. Secrets Nicholas didn’t want to share. Anna would, but not without her husband’s permission. Dylan didn’t know how he knew that, other than his gut telling him as much. Maybe he did have his mother’s intuition.

  Gazing down at the photo still in his hand, the one of Heaven’s parents and his father, he couldn’t understand how such good friends could part ways so easily. Or maybe it hadn’t been easy. Only one way to find out.

  “So Dad hates Heaven because of this dark path he chose. Or did something else happen? Something that involved the three of you.”

  The stare down between Anna and Nicholas continued until the silence grew awkward. But before Dylan could reiterate the question, Nicholas spun to face him, then his mother. “I think that’s enough secrets for one day.”

  He said nothing more before brushing past the sectional on his way to the door. While Dylan couldn’t read him any more than he could his mother, he knew one thing for sure. A lot of anger surrounded Nicholas. And every ounce of it stemmed from the fallout with his father.

  A moment later, a door slammed from somewhere in the house. Dylan didn’t know where Nicholas had disappeared to, until he noticed him out the window, standing in the backyard.

  “I better go check on him. I knew this would be a lot for him to handle, but at least he tried.” Anna made it just past the chair before Dylan rushed over to her.

  “May I go check on him? I know my father is the one he’s angry with, but I feel like I need to make this right. If I want him to support my relationship with your daughter.”

  Anna hesitated mid-step. He could tell she didn’t want to agree. The way she kept shifting her focus from the archway to his face. And just when he thought she would tell him no, she released a sigh, nodding her head.

  He didn’t hesitate making his way out of the room. This was his chance to prove to Nicholas that he loved his daughter. Would do anything to protect her, to keep her safe from everything, including his father. But would Nicholas believe him?

  One way or another, he’d convince his future father-in-law. If not with his words, at least he could with his thoughts.

  CHAPTER 16

  Layne pushed off the couch, making his way toward the den on the opposite side of the house. He needed a drink. Needed something to stop the wicked throb in his head. Setting his phone on a nearby shelf, he glanced at the screen one more time. Just incase he’d zoned out and missed Faith’s text.

  No message populated his screen. But a picture of him and Faith did. One they’d taken the weekend at Jerry’s, when they’d spent the day at the beach. Before he realized that their relationship would always be about one thing. Sex.

  He hadn’t minded at the time. Not until he noticed the closeness forming between Dylan and Heaven. To see two people look at each other the way they did. He never imagined something like that could happen. Except in the movies.

  The memory of that night continued to play in his mind. How he and Faith had slipped away to find a secret spot. The rush of doing it out in public, taking a chance on getting caught, he loved that about her, at first.

  When they’d walked up on Heaven and Dylan on the deck, something in him snapped. Seeing her lips pressed to his, the way he held her body against his body, like neither had a beginning or end. It was too much.

  Granted, he just wanted to protect Dylan in the beginning. God knows his best friend was the romantic of the two. And while he razzed him for being such a sap, it pissed him off when he’d see a woman trying to screw him over.

  He didn’t know Heaven at the time. Hadn’t taken the chance to get to know her. For more reasons than he wanted to admit. And it proved to be a mistake. Instead of taking the time, his focus shifted to Faith, and the many sex-filled minutes they spent together.

  Forcing the thoughts from his head, he cursed himself for allowing them to enter his mind. This was the reason he’d left Dylan’s and returned home. It sure as hell wasn’t to see Faith. He could have sent anyone over here to keep an eye on his things while she removed hers. He’d come here to escape Heaven.

  A lot of good that did. She hadn’t left his mind in the last week. What made him think it would happen now? Maybe because he thought Faith would be here to distract him.

  Pouring himself a shot of whiskey, he replaced the amber filled bottle on the shelf before tipping back the glass. He held his breath as the liquid burned his throat. A few more of these and he could forget about all his problems.

  His eye found the clock on the wall. Just past eleven. Guess Faith decided to stand him up. Again. Damn her. He hated her for screwing with him. They’d put each other through enough misery in the last few weeks. It needed to stop.

  Screw it! He’d go back to Dylan’s. Maybe sit outside the house and monitor the grounds. Then he wouldn’t have to be near Heaven. Wouldn’t have to fight from confessing—

  The doorbell chime echoed through the house. He gripped the glass, debating on whether to take another shot or answer the door. There could only be one person on the other side. Faith. And after waiting over three hours for her arrival, she could wait on him for thirty more seconds.

  Then again, if he made her wait too long, she’d just say screw him and leave. No sense in putting off the inevitable. The sooner they parted ways the sooner he could get back to enjoying his miserable life.

  Retracing his path, he made his way back to the front of the house. His instincts proved him right. The silhouette at the door matched Faith’s body to a tee. He should know.

  The cool brass greeted his hand when his fingers wrapped around the doorknob. This meeting would be a nightmare, but if he could swallow his pride and get through it, the worst would be over. He forced a breath into his lungs before twisting the knob. Barely getting the door open, he jumped back toward the wall, avoiding the path of the tornado whirling through his house.

  A rush of lavender teased his nose as angry eyes met his. “Where have you been?”

  Like she had a right to question his whereabouts. Not when she couldn’t reply to his text. Or show up on time.

  “I haven’t been anywhere, Faith. For Christ’s sake, I’ve been here waiting on you. For over three hours.”

  Faith gave him her famous eye roll. She gripped her hip, thrusting it forward. Her pissed off stance. He’d seen her do it many times. “Liar. You smell like perfume. My sister’s to be exact. You still can’t get enough of Heaven and Dylan.”

  At least they were fun to be around. Even with all the craziness surrounding their lives.

  He slammed the door shut, walking past her to the pile of boxes just outside the living room. “Dylan and Heaven are going through a lot. All I’m doing is giving them support.”

 
“Aww, poor Heaven. Not everyone was happy about her news.” Her child-like voice had him biting his jaw. “I don’t know what she expected. They’ve been together a couple months. Hell, we couldn’t make it to three.”

  No shit. They made it two months longer than what they should have. God, he wanted to say that to her, but bit his tongue instead. Bending in front of the boxes, he pushed the smaller ones away until he found the biggest. He’d be a gentleman and help her with this one. She could be as nasty as she wanted to be, he wouldn’t stoop to her level. Or at least he’d try not to.

  “I guess some people just know when it’s right. We weren’t in love, Faith. Dylan and Heaven are.”

  A rumble of laughter resonated around him, along with the click of her sandals. “Since when do you believe in love?”

  She stopped beside him, tapping her foot against the floor. The more she tapped, the more he fought the urge to snap at her. She knew how much he hated her impatience. “I never said I didn’t believe in love. I just haven’t found a woman I cared that much about.”

  It was a low dig. He knew that. The look on her face even proved it. All he wanted was for her to collect her things and leave. Not bait him about his feelings. Guess this was going to turn ugly after all.

  “Well, good luck finding a woman who can put up with your obsessions, a.k.a, my sister and your best friend. It’s creepy how much you talk about them.”

  “I just try to surround myself with positive people.”

  Gripping the box, he pushed up on his feet, allowing the edge to rest against his chest. He wanted to throw it at her, tell her to get the hell out of his house, but he kept his cool.

  Faith, on the other hand, looked like she’d shorted a fuse. “You’re a son-of-bitch, Layne Perry. I guess you already know that. You take pride in it. But one day you’ll regret it. When you’re all alone.”

  “Well, don’t worry. I won’t come knocking on your door.”

  He ducked as she swung her hand at him. Guess he could add anger issues to his list of reasons-to-break-up-with-Faith. Crazy woman. He wouldn’t be the one alone in the end. “Get the rest of your things, Faith. It’s time for you to leave.”

  Taking a step past her, he didn’t get far before she cut him off, grabbing at the box in his hands. “Oh I’m leaving. And I don’t need your help. Give me my shit.”

  She pulled on the box, bringing him forward when she did. Why did she have to be so difficult every waking moment? Her similarities to Heaven stopped with their looks. She sure as hell didn’t have her couth. Or her kindness. If she did, maybe they wouldn’t be parting ways.

  No. He’d be lying to himself if thought that was it. While Faith had stimulated the primal instinct in him, Heaven stimulated his heart. She made him want to be a better person. Made him want to be worthy of their friendship. Besides, he never felt the same pull toward Faith as he did to Heaven.

  “Despite what you think, I know how to treat a woman. This box is heavy. I will take it to your car. You get the rest.”

  “Wow, you’re letting me keep the car? I’m shocked,” Faith grunted, moving with him when he walked toward the door.

  “Like I said, I know how to treat a woman. I bought that car for you. Keep it. I don’t need it.”

  “And I don’t need your charity,” she yelled, tugging on the box.

  The sides gave as he struggled to keep from dropping it. “It’s not charity. It’s a gift. Take it. Use it. Sell it. I don’t care, Faith, just go.”

  But she wouldn’t listen, kept her hands on the box as they continued to the door. Each step he took she mimicked. Until her back pressed against the door, bringing them both to a halt.

  “I doubt I’ll be around here much longer anyway. I’ll get Hope or Scott to bring it back to you. Now give me my box so I can get out of here.”

  He felt the box bow at the bottom. If she didn’t quit pulling on it, she’d either rip the sides or make the bottom fall out.

  “Quit being such a bitch and let me do this.” He didn’t miss her swinging arm this time. As her hand collided with his jaw, a high pitched smack echoed around him. Damn, she knew how to hit. Knew just the right spot to make his face feel like he’d slammed it against a wall. He staggered back, using the box to prevent him from falling on his ass. But as he pulled, so did she.

  The struggle between them had taken its toll on the cardboard. The pressed paper bent, sending all the contents to the floor. And his feet.

  “Great! Now look what you did!” She bent down toward the heaping pile of perfume, cosmetics, and all that girly stuff she obsessed over, picking up a few of the items before throwing them back atop the mound they’d formed. “You better have another box around here.”

  The sound of her voice cracking made his heart pinch. Yeah, they didn’t want to be with each other anymore, but it didn’t make him a cold-hearted son-of-a-bitch. He hated to see a woman cry. Judging by her sniffles, she was doing just that.

  Fuck.

  Bending down beside her, he cleared the hair clips and tampon box from his shoes. A small package of tissues lay close by. He grabbed them, pulling a single sheet from its plastic confinement and handed it to her. “There’s one in the garage you can have,” he said, his eyes still passing over the gazillion items spread about the floor. Did a woman really need this much shit? “Give me a second. I’ll go grab—”

  One particular item caught his attention. A rectangular box. No more than nine inches long. Something about the blue and white paper struck a nerve that wouldn’t quit pulsing. He wrapped his fingers around it, staring at the bold blue letters. Clearblue. Wasn’t that a…

  Faith ripped the box from his hands, tucking it behind her back as she stood. He barely noticed her step away. Couldn’t think about anything but the discovery he’d just made.

  “Why do you have a pregnancy test?” He turned to face her, taking a step closer when she backed away.

  “I had a false alarm last month. Thought maybe I’d need this, but I didn’t.”

  She said exactly what he wanted to hear. Only, he didn’t believe a word of it. Not with the way her body tensed. How she kept avoiding his eyes yet fumbled with the box behind her back.

  “I don’t believe you, Faith. If that’s the case, you wouldn’t be hiding the box.” Another step brought him closer. He continued his advancement, backing her up against the wall.

  “I’m not hiding it. I mean, I was at first, but you saw it anyway. If you get me the box from the garage, I’ll get my mess cleaned up and let you go about your day.”

  What a change of heart. Not only had her voice softened, the crazed look in her eyes disappeared. The more she tried playing off the niceness, the more he sensed her fakeness.

  “You’re lying to me.” His arms circled her waist until he gripped her wrist, giving each a tug. He couldn’t explain how he knew the words coming out of her mouth were full of deceit. Something about the throb in his gut. The way each time he looked in her eyes his stomach twisted, like she’d stabbed him with a knife.

  “Get away from me.” She wriggled inside his arms as she tried to loosen her wrist from his grip. He couldn’t deny she was putting up a good fight. The heat in his arms burned each second he continued to pull on her wrist. Yet his determination to get the box paid off. At least when he released her hands. She thought she’d won the battle, but she couldn’t have been more wrong. Her moment of triumph vanished when he jerked the test from her hand.

  “Give that back!” She lurched forward swiping toward his wrist, but he backed away, tearing at the box as he did. “I’m not pregnant! Look at the tampons on the floor. I wouldn’t need those if I—”

  “You’ve had them for a while. Or you’re trying to throw me off.” He watched her eyes waver between him and the box.

  “No. I’m. Not!”

  Her lies fell deaf on his ears as he pulled the test from the box. Unsure of what he was looking at, he flipped the slender plastic strip between his fingers. Two blue lines
marked one side of the strip. Did that mean—?

  “Two lines. That means yes, right? You’re pregnant.”

  “Like it would matter if I was. Neither of us needs to have kids. Ever.”

  The shot of whiskey burned its way back up his throat. He swallowed it down, wishing like hell he had another one at this moment. His eyes fell to her stomach. Was there a part of him inside her?

  “If you’re carrying my kid, I have a right to know.”

  “Don’t you dare,” she hissed. “You have no rights when it comes to my body.” She stepped around him, jerking the test from his hands as she walked toward her pile of personal items. Throwing the strip inside, she spun on her heel, punching her hips with her fist. “I need the box you promised me.”

  She couldn’t be serious. “Fuck the box. We have something more important to discuss. I want to know if you’re—”

  “Yes, damn it! I was pregnant. But I’m not now, so just leave me alone!”

  A rush of panic spread through his veins. If she was no longer pregnant, that meant one thing.

  “Did you lose it?” he asked, softening his voice.

  When her eyes moved back to his, he took a step forward. If she said yes, he’d feel like the biggest fool ever. Not just because he’d been so mean to her today, but because he’d screwed things up so much she didn’t feel like she could tell him about any of this.

  With gathered brows, she gave him one of the iciest glares he’d ever seen. “No, I didn’t lose the baby, asshole. I got rid of it. You know. An abortion.”

  Her lips kept moving, but Layne didn’t hear a word she said. He couldn’t hear anything past the sound of his heart. Each thump built on the prior until his heart raced.

  He’d never wanted to hurt a woman before, or anyone for that matter, as much as he wanted to at this moment. Not only had she hid her pregnancy from him, she’d terminated it. Didn’t even bother to ask him if he wanted kids. God knows they’d never talked about it. And honestly, he didn’t want kids. Right now. Or with her. But to know that it had happened, that it had ended before he had a chance to learn about it sent him over the edge.