What the Heart Needs

by Kelli McCracken

  His knees cracked as he eased onto the floor beside her. She didn’t acknowledge him, even though her eyes stared toward his hand. He had to make this up to her. To Dylan. Would they give him the chance?

  “Please know that I never meant for any of this—” The words stuck in his already dry throat when she waved away his comment. Her puckered lips brought the tears back to her eyes, making the tightness in his chest snap. “Heaven, please,” he choked, “please don’t cry. It’s not as bad as you think.”

  She gripped the carpet beside her as her body trembled with emotion. Then the emotion overflowed, spilling through the room with cries. Her cries. Delia and Anna rushed into the room just as Heaven wrapped her arms around him, pressing her head in his chest.

  He braced himself, waiting for one of the women to cuss him, or demand he leave, but neither said anything. Pain glistened in Anna’s eyes as they left his. Delia’s remained on him until she gave him a quick nod. Then they moved to his chest, where Heaven’s tears continued to dampen his shirt.

  Taking the moment for what it was worth, he patted Heaven’s back, consoling her the only way he knew how. Like a friend would, because that’s all she needed. He’d happily fill the role one last time. Once she and Dylan made up, he’d be gone.

  Anna stepped closer to her daughter. She didn’t hesitate dropping to the floor or patting Heaven on the back. “Don’t cry, sweetie. It’s going to be all right.”

  “No it’s not.” Heaven’s voice cracked as she buried her face further into his chest. “He doesn’t care, Mom. He…he hates me.”

  “That’s nonsense, Heaven. Dylan loves you, but he’s upset. Give him a moment to calm down. He’ll be back, apologizing in an hour. Trust me. He won’t be able to stay away.”

  “Maybe you and Delia are wrong, Mom. Maybe Dylan and I are the unfortunate pair.”

  Anna pulled Heaven away from his chest, looking her square in the eyes. “You’re not the unfortunate pair.”

  “How do you know?”

  The more they talked, the more confusion twisted Layne’s thoughts. Just when he thought Anna couldn’t act any stranger. What the hell was an unfortunate pair? He parted his lips, ready to ask what all of this meant, when Anna glanced up at him, holding up one finger as if to ask him to wait. He didn’t want to wait. Wanted to comfort Heaven, protect her from everything. Even the heartache he’d caused.

  “I have to ask you to trust me, sweetie. I can’t tell you how I know. Not yet.”

  Heaven jerked loose of her grip. “I can’t take this anymore. All these secrets…they’re destroying my life. You want me to share mine with you but you won’t share yours with me.”

  “It’s only because I’m not a hundred percent sure if what I’m thinking is true.”

  “So tell me! ” Heaven shouted, making everyone in the room flinch. “Maybe I can help you figure it out.”

  “I will tell you. When you’re calm. And once Dylan returns. You both need to hear this.

  “Whatever.” Heaven grumbled, pushing herself off the floor. Her gown clung to her curves as she released the hem from her hands, taking a step forward. “I need some air.”

  Anna was on her feet almost as fast as Layne. She gave him a knowing gaze before reaching out for Heaven. “Where do you think you’re going, young lady?”

  Spinning around to face her, Heaven’s face contorted from a scrunched up painful grimace to pinched brows and angry eyes. “To the beach, Mom. I can’t breathe. I need to clear my head and having you hovering over me isn’t helping.”

  “You shouldn’t be by yourself.” Layne piped in, drawing her attention to him. The look she gave him made him feel like he was standing there without a stitch of clothing. Because she could see through him. Could see through the bullshit spilling from his mouth. See that he, as well as her mother, wanted her to remain in the villa, safe under their care.

  “Why can’t I go by myself? Nate’s not here to choke me to death. At this point, I wouldn’t care if he did.”

  “Heaven!” Anna shouted, jerking her daughter away from the coffee table. “Don’t you ever say something like that, again. This is exactly why we don’t want you going outside by yourself. You’re not thinking clearly.”

  “Please, Mom. I need this. If you don’t give me a few minutes to myself, I swear I’ll lose my mind!”

  “Then go to the bedroom. You could even go upstairs, sit out on the veranda. We’ll leave you alone, Heaven, just don’t leave. Please.”

  Pushing away from her mom, her hair brushed against her arms with each shake of her head. “I don’t want to go stare at the beach. I want to walk on it. Want to feel the sand between my toes, feel the water on my feet. If you truly want me to relax, then let me do the things that help relax me.” Anna shook her head before gazing over at Delia, but it only incited Heaven. “No one tried stopping Dylan when he left.”

  “Because Dylan’s not the one whose life is in danger.” Delia said as she walked around the coffee table to face Heaven. “If we let you leave and something happens to you, he’ll never forgive us. Any of us.”

  “So he can leave me, but I don’t have a right to my freedom?” Heaven grumbled as she moved for the staircase.

  Layne watched her move up each step, fighting back the urge to follow her. When she disappeared around the corner, he met Anna’s gaze first, Delia’s second. “Maybe I should go find Dylan. Ask him to come back and talk to her.”

  “I wouldn’t recommend that, Layne.” Delia’s voice dropped to the soothing tone she normally had. She moved across the floor, bypassing the coffee table until she stood in front of him. Warm fingers wrapped around his arms as she gave him a gentle squeeze. “I know you want to make up for what happened, but you can’t. Dylan has to come to terms with what happened and then deal with it. And he will.”

  “All I want is to right the wrongs I’ve done.” He glanced down at her hands, doing his best not to let the ache in his heart spill over to his words.

  “You’ve been wronged yourself, Layne.” Anna whispered, joining his side. “By one of my other daughters. I’m sorry for what she put you through. You don’t deserve it. No one does.”

  “Yes I do,” he said, turning his back to them as he faced the patio doors. “I’ve used women my whole life. This is karma’s way of paying me back. I just regret that it hurt Dylan and Heaven in the process. I tried to tell that I’m toxic. That they should both forget about me, but neither would. Now look at what’s happened.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with you, Layne,” Delia continued. She placed a hand on his shoulder while stepping beside him. “You’ve been there for my son all of his life. You’re supposed to be a part of his life. And Heaven’s.”

  He wanted to believe that. Wanted to believe that despite all his faults, he had a purpose in life. And that purpose involved Dylan and Heaven. Because the thought of not having either of them in his life…

  “I’m glad you think I’m salvageable, Delia, but I don’t think I am. I’ve done nothing but screw things up my whole life. Dylan and Heaven don’t need me in theirs.”

  “You’re wrong, Layne. I will prove how wrong you are when all of this is settled. And it will be settled. Dylan loves her too much not to work this out.”

  “He’s pink, Delia. Pink madder. There’s much loyalty in this one.” Anna said as she stepped around Layne. Her eyes trailed over his body as she shook her head. “I don’t know why I didn’t see this before. I had a feeling, but I wasn’t sure.”

  A chill spread up Layne’s back, making it’s way toward his neck. His scalp crawled, like a million spiders had fallen atop his head. The more he was around Heaven’s parents, the more he questioned their sanity. Delia had her weird moments, too, but not like this. She didn’t spout strange, random nonsense about colors. Nor did she look at him like she knew every one of his dark secrets. But Nicholas…

  “I don’t know what all of that is supposed to mean. Honestly, I don’t really care at this point in t
ime. What I do care about is her,” he pointed at the ceiling. “I care that I just screwed everything up for her and for my best friend. I’d give up my friendship with both of them if it meant they could be happy.”

  “You don’t have to give up anything, Layne. They will be happy. And you’ll get to keep your friendship with both of them. Just have patience.”

  Patience? That was never his strong suit nor would it ever be. Unless it helped Heaven. He would do anything for her. Disappear from her life. Let Dylan beat him to a pulp. Die a thousand deaths. Whatever it took to see her happy.

  And she would be happy again. Even if his life depended on it.

  CHAPTER 24

  Dylan brushed his shoe against the ground, taking another step closer to the edge of the rock. A sea of blue spread for miles, meeting golden rays at the horizon. In a few hours, those rays would dive into the sea, leaving one of the most beautiful sights in the world. An Aruba sunset.

  A salty mist swept across his face, twirling his hair along his neck. It would have been a beautiful spot for Heaven and him to say their vows. Would have been.

  His eyes darted to the waves crashing below. One after one, they beat themselves senseless against the rest of the rocks. Kind of like his heart was doing to his chest.

  Or the way his fist would greet Layne’s face if he didn’t keep his distance.

  He couldn’t believe his friend betrayed him. Layne knew how much Heaven meant to him. As did she, yet she allowed Layne to kiss her.

  The burn in his stomach spread upward, sending a path of bitterness to his tongue. He choked on the acid, swallowing it back as he refused to give into the ache in his heart. Yet the more he refused, the more his chest constricted.

  Damn it, he had a right to be angry! Had a right to say the things he said. He wanted them to hurt as much as they’d hurt him. But how much had he hurt her?

  Focusing on their bond, he searched for her vibrations. They thrummed a slow beat, but felt void of emotion.

  Why did he always lose sense of her when he needed to gauge her feelings? Did she have another ability to block him, or was he refusing to face the ugly truth? That they were like his mother and father. An unfortunate pair.

  At least if they split up, his father would leave her alone. She’d be safe. Could live out the rest of her life without having to worry about someone wanting to kill her. She needed to end this as much as he did.

  Yet the ripping in his chest told a different story. One of a man whose heart wouldn’t listen to reason. A man who couldn’t take a breath without knowing she took that same breath. If he lost her…

  How could he leave?

  How could he stay?

  A rock skipped across the ground behind him, stressing his already frayed nerves with jolts of anger. Who the hell had followed him? Perhaps his Mom. Or Layne. Or Heaven.

  Spinning on his heel, he turned to face the culprit, prepping to cuss whoever stood there. “I said I didn’t want—” His words caught in his throat as he stared into the dark blue eyes in front of him. What was she doing here?

  “I’m sorry, Dylan. I didn’t mean to sneak up.” Chelsea continued across the rock formation, carrying her heels by their straps. “I wanted to check on you.”

  For who? Her best friend? His mom? Christ, he couldn’t deal with this. “I’m fine, Chelsea, but not the best person to be keeping company with right now.”

  “It’s okay. You don’t have to talk. God knows I can do that enough for the both of us.”

  He fought back the tickle in his throat, suppressing the urge to chuckle. He didn’t doubt her for a moment. The woman could definitely talk. Didn’t mean he wanted to listen. Not when he needed to be alone.

  “This really isn’t the time, Chelsea.”

  “I know what time it is, Dylan. It’s three o’clock.” The words felt like a punch in the gut as her voice rang in his head. “You should be on the beach, meeting Heaven in front of the minister. In front of her parents. Your mom. Even me.”

  “Chelsea, please stop. I don’t want to hear this.”

  He tried to turn back toward the ocean, but she tugged his arm. “Then do something about it.”

  “I can’t. She…she kissed him.” The words tasted like a bitter swig of whiskey. He cast his gaze to the waves, cursing the idea of alcohol. Isn’t that what started all of this?

  “It’s not like that and you know it. Layne kissed her because he wasn’t thinking. Put yourself in his shoes, Dylan. What if Heaven lied to you about being pregnant? What if you didn’t find out until the baby was gone and—”

  Leaning in closer, he fought to keep his voice steady. “I don’t deny that what Faith did to him is wrong. It doesn’t explain why he kissed Heaven. Unless he has feelings for her.”

  “Have you never experienced a pain so numbing that it left you desperate to feel something?” Her eyes squinted with suspicion when he shrugged. “What about being so drunk, you don’t realize what you’re doing until you make a huge mistake? Because I have.” She stepped closer, shoving her palms toward his face.

  Dylan dropped his gaze, trailing over the pink and purple lines across each of her wrists. Then he realized what he was looking at. “Is that what I think it is?”

  She nodded, pulling her arms back to her sides as her eyes went past him, toward the ocean. “It happened years ago, when I was sixteen. I’d just found out that my entire life was a lie.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “My dad…he kept a secret from me and Brooke. Elizabeth isn’t our real mother. My real mom died a couple months after I was born.” She trailed a finger over one of her pink scars. “She committed suicide. A week after I found out, I was at home alone. I broke into my dad’s liquor cabinet, started drinking, trying to forget. But I couldn’t forget. So I tried joining her.”

  The heat in his face spread like someone had swiped sandpaper across his cheek until it reached his earlobes. “Chelsea, I’m sorry. I had no clue.”

  Chelsea offered him a smile as she stepped away from the ledge of the rock. “No one knew, except my dad and Heaven. She’s the one who found me. The one who saved me. She’s always been there for me.”

  He used to be able to say the same thing about Layne. In less than forty-eight hours, he’d learned of his best friend’s deception, twice. How could he ever trust him again?

  Leaving the thoughts to simmer, he refocused on Chelsea, who’d come close enough to adjust the flower on his jacket. She didn’t meet his gaze, just fumbled with the pin as she smiled. “Heaven has this inner light that attracts people. You want to be around her because she makes you feel important. It’s easy to talk to her. So I get where Layne is coming from.”

  “Damn it, Chelsea, stop.” The words lost their harshness in the breeze blowing against his face. He didn’t want to be hateful, but he couldn’t discuss this anymore.

  Not that she cared about what he wanted.

  “I know he made a mistake, but we don’t always do the right thing when our hearts are a mess. Just like now. You’re out here, torturing yourself and the woman that loves you because you’re crushed. Over a drunken mistake. Layne kissed Heaven because he couldn’t handle the pain of what Faith did to him.”

  “I don’t know what to believe.”

  “Heaven loves you, Dylan. You didn’t see her face when you walked out that door. The heartbreak it contained. When I saw her fall to her knees, I couldn’t take it. So I followed you here.”

  He gritted his teeth at the thought of Heaven kneeling on the floor, tears streaming down her face. Seeing it earlier had been too much. How he’d manage to fight back the urge to go to her, he’d never know. But if he didn’t fix this, he may never get another chance to be near her.

  Could he live with that?

  Chelsea turned toward the beach, taking a few steps down the rock before glancing over her shoulder. “I’m going back to the villa to check on Heaven. I hope you’ll do the same, Dylan.”

  Shrugging his shoulde
rs he faced the ledge of the rock, staring at the cloudless horizon. He waited until the water drowned out her footsteps before he turned to make sure she’d left. She had, but he wasn’t alone. Weary green eyes stared back at him.

  “Hi, sweetheart.” The patter of his mother’s bare feet against the rock filled his ears. She closed the distance between them, reaching out her hands to grasp his arm. “I’ve been worried about you.”

  “Don’t worry, Mom. I’m not going to jump. Why would I? It’s not like my best friend and the love of my life broke my heart.”

  Squeezing his arm, she shook her head at his comment. “It was a stupid mistake. Heaven loves you. Go to her. Take her in your arms and forget about everything else. End the pain for both of you.”

  “Is she in pain, Mom, or is she relieved?”

  His upper arm stung from the smack she gave him. “She’s in a lot of pain, Dylan.” The crack in her voice had him snapping his eyes shut. “I’m not an Empath, but I feel every ache in her body. I’m literally ill over it.”

  He wished he hadn’t asked. The idea of Heaven suffering as much as him. More than him… His stomach twisted at the thought. What had he done?

  He sucked in a breath of salty air, moving his eyes to the wheat colored sand below. “I want to believe I overreacted, but I can’t shake the feeling that I didn’t.”

  “If you and Heaven were an ordinary couple, I wouldn’t blame you one bit for feeling betrayed. But you’re not an ordinary couple. You’re soulmates, Dylan. There isn’t a person on this planet that could change the love you have for each other.”

  “Just because we’re soulmates doesn’t mean we’re supposed to be together. What if you and her parents made a mistake? Maybe I took after you and Dad. Heaven and I could be the unfortunate—”

  “No, Dylan. Trust me when I say that you are not the unfortunate pair. My cards have never been wrong, nor has my gut. You and Heaven are meant to be together. You’re meant to be happy. Being without her would destroy you as much as it would her.”