Latin American Plays

by Sebastian Doggart

  JOSEFINO. Mangaches rob banks, not Gallinazos. We may be bastards to our women in Gallinacera, but we’re not thieves.

  JOSE. Get real, Josefino. Gallinacera’s the worst part of Piura.

  LITUMA. I’d stay quiet about being a Gallinazo if I were you, man. With your slaughterhouse, your corpses, your flies, your vultures.

  JOSEFINO. At least we’ve got paved streets and real toilets. Mangachería doesn’t even have that. Just donkeys and beggars. You Mangaches shit on the floor next to your bed. I don’t know why I hang around with you. One of these days I’m going to start smelling like shit too. Wait, Monkey, don’t throw the dice. Mechita! Come here and bring me luck.

  MECHE goes over to the table at the same time as LA CHUNGA, who brings two more beers. JOSEFINO puts his hand round MECHE’s waist and forces her to bend over and kiss him on the mouth. He is obviously showing off and takes pleasure from the laughter and applause of the Boys. LA CHUNGA looks on, her eyes shining.

  JOSEFINO. OK, Monkey. Now you can throw the dice.

  JOSE (to JOSEFINO). You know the saying, don’t you? Lucky in love, unlucky at dice.

  MONKEY (throwing the dice). They’re away, and this boy’s a rich man!

  JOSEFINO (happy and exuberant). Double ones! Dig your grave, Monkey! (To JOSE.) You got that saying wrong, brother. It’s actually: lucky in love, luckier at dice. Here’s to Mechita who brought me luck. Thank you, my love. (Once again he forces her to bend down and kiss him. As he does this, he looks askance at LA CHUNGA, as if he were mocking her.) Cheers, Chunguita.

  LA CHUNGA does not reply and returns to the bar counter.

  MONKEY (stretching out his hand to JOSEFINO). Congratulations. You had to be brave to bet the whole pot after I’d won eight in a row. You may be from Gallinacera, but you still deserve to be one of the Boys.

  JOSE (aroused). Did you see Chunga’s face when Josefino was kissing you, Mechita? Her eyes were on fire.

  LITUMA. She was dying of envy.

  JOSEFINO (raising his voice). Did you hear what these Mangache faggots are saying about you, Chunga?

  LA CHUNGA. What?

  JOSEFINO. That when I was kissing Meche, your eyes were on fire. That you were dying of envy.

  LA CHUNGA. Perhaps it’s true. Who wouldn’t feel envious of a woman like that?

  Laughter and exclamations from the Boys.

  JOSEFINO. And you haven’t even seen her naked, Chunga. Her body’s even better than her face. Eh, Meche?

  MECHE. Be quiet, Josefino.

  LA CHUNGA. I’m sure that for once in your life you’re telling the truth.

  JOSEFINO. Of course I am. Pull up your skirt, my love. Show her your legs, just to give her an idea.

  MECHE (more embarrassed than she really feels). Josefino, the things you say sometimes!

  JOSEFINO (raising his voice slightly. With a firmness that is not quite brusque, but which hardly conceals his sense of superiority. Flaunting his authority in front of his friends.) Listen to me. If you and I are going to keep getting along together, you have to do what I ask you. Show Chunguita your legs.

  MECHE (looking upset but deep down finding the game quite appealing). You can be so moody and pushy sometimes, Josefino.

  Lifts up her skirt and displays her legs. The Boys applaud.

  JOSEFINO (laughing). What do you think, Chunga?

  LA CHUNGA. Lovely.

  JOSEFINO (beaming, arrogantly). I can show my woman naked to all of you because you’re my friends – my soulmates. I can trust you. (Starts to gather up the money he has just won.)

  MONKEY. Hold it right there, pal. Only a coward withdraws his winnings if someone still wants to take him on.

  JOSEFINO. You want to bet the whole pot? There are twelve hundred sols here, Monkey. Have you got enough?

  MONKEY (rummages through his pockets, takes out all the money he has and counts it). I’ve got five hundred. I’ll owe you the other seven hundred.

  JOSEFINO. It’s bad luck to borrow money in the middle of a game. (Gesturing to MONKEY’s wrist-watch.) Wait. You can put your watch down. I’ll accept that instead of seven hundred.

  LITUMA. Your watch is worth more than that.

  MONKEY (taking off his watch and placing it in the pot together with his five hundred sols). But I’m going to win, my friend. OK, Josefino, throw the dice and, please, lose!

  JOSEFINO (pushes MECHE towards the bar counter). Go and keep Chunga company while I win this cash and his watch. When I’ve got the dice, I don’t need anyone else to bring me luck. I make it myself.

  JOSE. Watch out Chunga doesn’t try and seduce you, Mechita. She’s creaming her pants over you.

  MECHE (exposing a rather morbid curiosity, in a low voice). She’s not one of them, is she?

  LITUMA. No-one knew what she was until now. We always thought she was nothing.

  JOSE. But she’s lost her cool since she saw you. Her cover’s blown. she’s a dyke.

  MECHE. No! Really?

  JOSEFINO. Whooaa, Chunga! If you knew what they were saying, you’d let fly at them with these bottles and ban them from ever setting foot in here again.

  LA CHUNGA. What are they saying?

  JOSEFINO. José says you’ve been creaming your pants over Meche, and you’ve blown your cover as a dyke. And Meche wants to know if it’s true.

  MECHE. He’s lying Chunga, don’t believe him. You’re pathetic, Josefino.

  LA CHUNGA. Why doesn’t she come and ask me herself. I’ll whisper in her ear.

  Laughter and ribaldry from the Boys.

  JOSEFINO (to MECHE). Go on, my love. Go and flirt with her. Let her think she stands a chance.

  MONKEY. Get on with it and throw the dice, Josefino.

  MECHE walks over to the bar counter where LA CHUNGA is standing.

  IV

  Dykes and Women

  MECHE (confused). You didn’t believe him, did you? You know Josefino’s always fooling around. I didn’t say that about you, really.

  LA CHUNGA. Oh, forget it. I couldn’t care less what people say about me. (Shrugs her shoulders.) If that’s what amuses them, let them be amused. As long as I don’t hear them . . .

  MECHE. Don’t you care if they say nasty things about you?

  LA CHUNGA. I only care if there are fights or if they don’t pay for their drinks. As long as they don’t get violent or try and rip me off, they can talk about what they like.

  MECHE. Don’t you even care if they say you’re a . . . a. . . ?

  LA CHUNGA. A dyke? (Takes MECHE’s arm.) What if I am? Would I frighten you?

  MECHE (with a nervous giggle, half feigning, half feeling what she says). I don’t know. I’ve never met a real one before. I’ve heard there are masses of them around, but I’ve never actually seen one. (Scrutinises LA CHUNGA.) I always imagined they’d be butch and ugly. You’re nothing like that.

  LA CHUNGA. What am I like?

  MECHE. A bit tough maybe. But I suppose you have to be to run a place like this, with all the weirdos and drunks who come in. But you’re not ugly. If you fixed yourself up a little, you’d look attractive, beautiful even. Men would like you.

  LA CHUNGA (with a chuckle). I don’t care if men like me or not. But you care, don’t you? It’s the one thing that’s really important to you. Fixing yourself up, getting all made up, looking pretty. Making their heads turn, exciting them. No?

  MECHE. Surely that’s just being a woman?

  LA CHUNGA. No. That’s being an idiot.

  MECHE. Then all women are idiots.

  LA CHUNGA. Most of them are. That’s why things are the way they are for them. Women let themselves be badly treated, they become slaves to men. Why? So that when men get tired of them, they get thrown out in the rubbish, like dirty rags. (Pause. She strokes MECHE’s face again.) I’m sorry to think of what will happen when Josefino gets tired of you.

  MECHE. He’ll never get tired of me. I know how to keep him happy.

  LA CHUNGA. Yes, I’ve seen: by letting him twist
you round his little finger. Don’t you feel humiliated when he pushes you around like that?

  MECHE. I enjoy doing whatever he asks me to do. That’s what love is for me.

  LA CHUNGA. So you’d do anything that poor devil asked you to do?

  MECHE. For as long as I’m in love with him, yes. Anything.

  Pause. LA CHUNGA watches her silently, revealing, in spite of herself, a kind of admiration. They are both distracted by the uproar coming from the Boys’ table.

  V

  Hard Cash

  MONKEY (euphorically, holding up fistfuls of banknotes). Jeeeesus Christ! Fuck, this is classic! Pinch me, Boys, I must be dreaming.

  JOSE (patting JOSEFINO). The game’s not over yet, Monkey. Leave the money on the table.

  MONKEY (to JOSEFINO). What have you got left to bet with? You’ve already lost two thousand sols, plus your watch, and your fountain pen. What else have you fucking got?

  Pause. JOSEFINO looks all around him. He watches LA CHUNGA and MECHE for a moment. His mind made up, he gets to his feet.

  JOSEFINO. I have got something else. (Strides towards LA CHUNGA. His eyes shine like a man ready to go to any extreme to get what he wants.) I need three thousand sols to win the game, Chunguita.

  LA CHUNGA. Over my dead body. You know very well I never lend anything to anyone.

  JOSEFINO. I’ve got something worth far more than the three thousand sols I’m asking you for. I’ve got some really hard cash. (Grabs MECHE round the waist.)

  MECHE (taking it half as a joke, uncertain how to respond). What are you saying?

  LA CHUNGA bursts out laughing. JOSEFINO remains deadly serious. The Boys have fallen silent and stare at them, spellbound by what is happening.

  JOSEFINO (MECHE’s lord and master, grips her next to his body). You heard me. You love me, don’t you? I love you too. That’s why I’m asking this of you. Didn’t you swear to me that you’d always be obedient? Well, now you’re going to prove it to me.

  MECHE (incredulously). But, but . . . Are you crazy? Do you realise what you’re saying? Or have all those beers gone to your head?

  JOSEFINO (to LA CHUNGA). There’s no use pretending, Chunga. I know you’ve been drooling over Meche ever since you first set eyes on her. So what do you say?

  MONKEY. Holy Whore! This is getting serious, Boys.

  JOSE. Fuck! He’s actually selling her to Chunga.

  LITUMA. Why don’t you buy her, Monkey? Or don’t you think Mechita’s worth three thousand sols?

  JOSEFINO (not taking his eyes off LA CHUNGA and still embracing MECHE). No. I wouldn’t lend her to Monkey for all the gold in the world. Or to any man either. (Kissing MECHE.) It’d make me jealous. I would tear the guts out of anyone who laid a finger on her. (To LA CHUNGA.) But you don’t make me jealous. I’ll lend her to you because I know you’ll give her back to me unspoiled.

  MECHE (sobbing, confused, and exasperated). Let go of me! You monster! How could you do this? I want to leave now.

  JOSEFINO (releases her). You can leave. But if you do, don’t ever come back. Because you’d be betraying me by leaving now, Meche. I could never forgive you for letting me down when I needed you.

  MECHE. But, Josefino, do you realise what you’re asking me to do? What do you think I am?

  LA CHUNGA (mockingly, to MECHE). You see, it wasn’t true what you said. You wouldn’t do anything this bandit asked you to do.

  JOSEFINO (putting his arms around MECHE). Did you really say that to her? Did you? Then it’s true! (Kisses MECHE.) I love you. You and I will be together until the end of the world. Don’t cry, stupid. (To LA CHUNGA) So what do you say?

  LA CHUNGA (she has become very serious. Long pause.) Let Meche say she accepts by herself. Let her say she’ll do anything I want from now until daybreak.

  JOSEFINO (to MECHE). Don’t let me down now. I need you. She won’t do anything to you. She’s a woman, what can she do to you? Say it.

  Ecstatic pause, during which the Boys and LA CHUNGA watch the struggle going on inside MECHE, who squeezes her arms together desperately and looks at everyone around her.

  MECHE (to LA CHUNGA, stammering). I’ll do anything you tell me to, from now until daybreak.

  LA CHUNGA goes to fetch the money from beneath the bar counter. JOSEFINO whispers in MECHE’s ear and strokes her. The Boys start to recover from the surprise. LA CHUNGA hands the money over to JOSEFINO.

  MONKEY. Holy Mother of Whores! I don’t believe this. It’s happening in front of my eyes, but I still can’t bloody believe it.

  LITUMA. I would even marry a woman like that.

  JOSE. Fuck! Let’s sing the song for Mechita. She deserves it.

  MONKEY. The song and a toast, in honour of Mechita, Boys.

  MONKEY, LITUMA, AND JOSE (singing).

  The four of us are called the Boys

  We get our kicks from simple joys.

  And throughout Piura it’s been said

  Every girl needs a Boy in her bed

  So don’t tell us to get off our asses

  We’re doing just fine in front of our glasses.

  MONKEY. And to wind up our boast, let’s make a toast: To you, Mechita!

  They raise their glasses to MECHE and drink. LA CHUNGA takes MECHE’s hand and leads her towards her room. The two of them climb the little staircase. JOSEFINO, counting the money, takes his place again at the gambling table.

  End of Act One.

  Act Two

  I

  The Boys

  As the curtain rises the actors are in exactly the same position as they were at the beginning of the first act. We are in the present, a long time after the episode with MECHE. The Boys are playing dice at their table, beneath the lantern hanging from a beam, and LA CHUNGA, in her rocking chair, her eyes lost in the void, lets time pass her by. The warm night carries the distant sounds of the city: the chir of crickets, a car travelling through the night, dogs barking, a donkey braying.

  JOSE. How much do you think I’d have to pay Chunga for her to tell me what happened that night between her and Meche?

  LITUMA. She’ll never tell you, not even for a million sols. Forget it, José.

  JOSEFINO. If I wanted her to, she’d tell me. For free.

  MONKEY. We already know what a naughty boy you are, Josefeenie.

  JOSEFINO. I’m not joking. (Takes out his knife and holds it up so it glints in the light.) Chunga may be tough, but there’s no man or woman alive who wouldn’t squawk like a parrot with this at their throat.

  MONKEY. Did you hear that, Chunga?

  LA CHUNGA (indifferent as ever). Hurry up and finish your drinks. I’m closing.

  JOSEFINO. Don’t be frightened, Chunguita. If I felt like it, I’d make you tell me about that night. But I don’t feel like it, so you can stuff your secret up your ass. I don’t want to know. I couldn’t give a toss about Meche. For me, a woman out of sight is a woman out of mind. There’s not a girl alive who could make me run after her.

  JOSE has stood up and, without the Boys noticing, approaches LA CHUNGA’s rocking chair, staring with his mouth half open, like a sleepwalker. Throughout the following scene the Boys behave as if JOSE were still sitting in the empty seat: they chink glasses with the invisible JOSE, take his bets, pass him the dice, slap him on the back, and joke with him.

  JOSE (in a heavy, feverish voice). Something in my life changed that night, Chunga, although nobody knows about it. (Taps his head.) It’s up here, as clear as if it were still happening. I remember everything you and Meche said. When you took her arm and led her up there to your room, I thought my heart would leap out of my chest. (Makes LA CHUNGA touch his chest.) Can you feel it? Do you see how strongly it’s beating? As if it were trying to burst out. It gets like that whenever I think about the two of you up there.

  LA CHUNGA moves her lips to say something, but no sound comes out. JOSE leans closer, trying to hear but suddenly recoils, wishing he hadn’t. For several seconds LA CHUNGA continues mouthing the same word.
>
  LA CHUNGA (finally speaking, with great serenity). You’re a wanker, José.

  JOSE (haunted, impatient, pointing to the bedroom). Tell me. Please, tell me, Chunguita. What happened? What was it like?

  LA CHUNGA (lecturing him, but without severity, as if to a naughty boy). You don’t like real women, José, women of flesh and blood. You like the ones up here. (Touching his head, as if caressing it.) Memories, fantasies, the ones you’ve invented. Isn’t that right, José?

  JOSE (trying to make LA CHUNGA get up from the rocking chair, increasingly excited). You took her arm and led her over there. As you climbed the stairs, you never let go of her arm. Were you squeezing it? Were you stroking her gently?

  LA CHUNGA stands up and JOSE takes her place in the rocking chair. He shifts it in order to see better. LA CHUNGA pours a glass of vermouth, goes up the little staircase and enters the little bedroom, which is lit with a reddish light. MECHE is there.

  II

  The Voyeur’s Dream

  MECHE (with a nervous giggle). Now what happens. What game is this, Chunga?

  LA CHUNGA (the cold woman of previous scenes seems to have been charged with life and sensuality). No game. I’ve paid three thousand sols for you. And you’re mine for the rest of the night.

  MECHE (defiant). You mean I’m your slave?

  LA CHUNGA. Yes. For a few hours, anyway. (Holding out the glass.) Here. It’ll calm your nerves.

  MECHE (takes the glass, then takes a long drink). Do you think I’m nervous? You’re wrong. I’m not scared of you. I’m doing this for Josefino. If I wanted, I could just push you aside and run out the door.

  LA CHUNGA (sits on the bed). But you won’t. You said that you would obey me and you’re a woman of your word, I’m sure. Anyway, you’re dying of curiosity, aren’t you?

  MECHE (finishes her drink). Do you think you’re going to get me drunk on two vermouths. Dream on! I’ve got a hard head. I can drink all night long and not even get tipsy. I can handle more than Josefino.

  Pause.

  LA CHUNGA. Do to me what you do to him when you want to excite him.

  MECHE (with the same nervous giggle). I can’t. You’re a woman. You’re Chunga.