A Soulless Year Three

by Eva Brandt

  “Her soul is already lost,” a voice that sounded an awful lot like my brother whispered at the back of my mind. “She never wanted to live in the first place. That’s why she understood you.”

  That might well be, but I couldn’t give up so easily. I had to at least try to give her a chance.

  In front of me, Demogorgon had attacked Yeqon. He’d been fast enough that he’d managed to bite the Watcher, but his luck ran out when Michael intervened. A blast of fire erupted from Michael’s fiery sword. The divine blaze didn’t harm Yeqon, but Demogorgon was consumed by the flames. I could do nothing but stand there, useless, as the archangel killed Delilah’s familiar.

  As the reptilian form was burnt away, wisps of dark smoke exploded from the now useless body. An unholy screech echoed in my ears. “You’ll pay. You’ll pay. I’ll find you and you’ll pay for this.”

  Michael waved his sword once again and the fumes dissipated, taking away the last traces of Demogorgon’s presence. I flinched. Primordial demons like Demogorgon were very difficult to destroy, but in his serpentine shape, he’d been weaker than before. If he did return, it wouldn’t be anytime soon.

  But I had bigger problems than Demogorgon’s death. I was stuck in a ritual circle, surrounded by a group of powerful angels. They approached me slowly, as if they had all the time in the world. Already, most of them were sheathing their swords.

  “Thank The Supreme Being,” High Seraph Kemuel said, his archon form melting into a more humanoid one. “I thought we’d lose her for sure.”

  “We got lucky,” Azrael offered. “If the Watchers hadn’t been here, she’d have escaped.”

  Sariel, Azazel, and Yeqon said nothing. None of them seemed to have any problem with what had just happened in front of them. I didn’t think I’d ever felt such hate in my life, not even for Lucifer.

  “You really don’t care, do you?” I asked, finally finding my voice. “She’s only a tool in The Supreme Being’s big game of chess.”

  “Be silent, Cain Adamson,” Michael snapped at me. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “I know plenty.” Slowly, I set Delilah down, being careful to not let any part of her crumble. “It must have amused you so much to use her, while you pretended to have feelings for her. Then again, you’re a celestial being. You don’t have feelings.”

  Yeqon opened his mouth, as if intending to say something. Kemuel intervened before Yeqon could speak. “Delilah’s fate is the last thing you should worry about right now,” he told me. “You don’t seem to understand your position.”

  I snorted. “Give me a fucking break, High Seraph. You know as well as I do that we’re on the same side on this one. But you’re all wasting your time trying to tame Delilah, because you’re afraid of her.”

  “She’s dangerous,” Azrael replied. “We’d be fools to not acknowledge that.”

  I ignored his comment. Everyone here was dangerous, some more than others.

  A feeling of deep fatigue flooded me. I couldn’t take this any longer. The Celestial Realm would never change and dealing with them felt like constantly beating my head against a brick wall. The first few times, I’d gotten away with a mild headache, but now, I was giving myself brain trauma just through making the attempt.

  There was no point. If they were so determined, they could easily defeat The Infernal Realm without needing assistance from me or Delilah.

  With that in mind, I knelt by Delilah’s side. The salt was solid, but it wasn’t like stone. Despite my attempts to keep her safe, her skin was already flaking. She was rapidly losing feathers. I let my hands hover over hers, trying to protect her motionless form from the wind.

  “You know what?” I asked the angels without looking at them. “I had a pretty good idea where Hope Morningstar might be. I intended to go find her and through that, end this war once and for all. That’s why Delilah was with me in the first place. But as always, you just had to think you knew better. So since you’re so good at dealing with Lucifer, go for it. You guys are on your own.”

  “That’s fine,” Sariel replied. “We were ready for that. We always have been.”

  He walked up to the now dormant ritual circle, determined to take me captive. I didn’t bother moving. I was out of energy, time, and fucks to give.

  But maybe somewhere out there, Delilah was still watching and she was even more spiteful than before.

  As soon as Sariel entered the ritual circle, the Delilah-shaped salt pillar exploded. Despite being closest to the source of the blast, I wasn’t hurt. The magic swept over me like a physical caress, like a promise and a dream.

  Sariel wasn’t so lucky. He cursed and recoiled, trying to shield himself with his wings, only to find it didn’t have much effect. The fire of Delilah’s resentment badly burnt his feathers, filling the air with the scent of pain and decaying magic.

  Even in death, Delilah had decided to help me. My chest hurt, and it had nothing to do with my curse. She might only be doing this for revenge, but still, at that moment, I was more aware than ever of how much I wished things had been different.

  But she wasn’t mine and this wasn’t a love story, so I pushed back my useless emotions and stood up. She had told me she wouldn’t give up, and she hadn’t. I could do no less.

  I could practically hear her screaming in my head, “Go. Go while you still can.”

  The ritual circle lit up once again. A mix of fury, grief, and excitement filled me. This was my last chance, the last hope I had of fulfilling my quest.

  Throwing one last glance at the angels, I embraced the gift Delilah had left me and let myself drift into The In-Between. It wasn’t pleasant. In fact, it was as painful as fuck. Without the cushion of a symbiote’s magic to protect me, the ritualistic magic threatened to tear me apart.

  But I’d been right to turn to Delilah. The power of a primordial soul prevailed, even now, and it protected me. I still felt the darkness of The Shadow Realm threatening to crush me, but it was less pronounced than it would have otherwise been.

  I landed in a field of sunflowers, breaking my fall by using a blast of fire. For the most part, the shadows absorbed my power, but I was able to glide down, instead of crashing painfully against the ground.

  The field itself was unlike anything I’d ever seen in The In-Between before. I’d have deemed it beautiful, except for the fact that there was no color here. To make matters worse, every sunflower turned to face me. It wasn’t a natural motion, like that of a normal plant. Instead, it was abrupt, creepy, and haunting. But then again, why wouldn’t it be? The life within every bloom went beyond what could normally be expected of vegetation. I’d yet to determine if plants in The Shadow Realm had souls, but anything was possible.

  I hoped that meant Alyssa’s daughter hadn’t been too mistreated. I might have had my issues with the woman, but the child wasn’t to blame for the wars everyone around her had started.

  Not that I was in any position to point fingers, since I was pretty much planning to use Hope Morningstar as a weapon against her parents. But after everything that had happened, I honestly didn’t give a shit.

  The ritual should have dropped me close to where Hope was hidden, so I started to make my way through the sunflower field. As I walked, the plants kept staring at me. Their leaves occasionally brushed my body, and I twitched in discomfort whenever they touched me. If not for Delilah’s protection, that would have been very unpleasant.

  After what seemed like forever, I emerged from the field, in front of a quaint little cottage. The moment I saw it, I wanted to throw up. It was almost a perfect copy of the house where my family and I had lived, before everything had gone to shit.

  I’d suspected Abel had been involved in Hope’s kidnapping, of course, although The Supreme Being hadn’t confirmed it. Still, having to face the clear proof was a bitter pill to swallow.

  Abel was nowhere to be seen and neither was the kidnapped baby. But as I approached, several symbiotes manifested from the grou
nd, blocking my path.

  I’d expected Fara to come. Hope was her granddaughter, after all. But my former ally didn’t show her face either and had chosen to sic a group of unknown minions on me.

  All of them seemed to be androgynous, their bodies indistinct masses of shadows. Still, they were obviously lost souls, not just summons. When the first creature spoke, his voice was clear, male, and held no sign of the savage incoherence summoned creations often displayed. “You don’t belong here, demon,” he said.

  “I don’t belong anywhere,” I pointed out. “But there’s something you’ve taken that I must return. The balance between Heaven and Hell depends on it.”

  “If the other realms destroy each other, it’s good for us,” a second symbiote, this time female, replied.

  “Is it? Heaven and Hell have always been at odds, but you know as well as I do that if something tips the scales, the Demiurge will intervene.”

  “And yet, here you are,” the first symbiote offered. “He hasn’t stepped in yet. The gods play games, little incubus. Maybe even The Supreme Being has finally grown tired of the mortals and has seen them for what they are—useless copies of superior beings.”

  “Maybe,” I agreed, shrugging, “but I don’t really care. I just want to be at peace.”

  “And potential war is getting in the way of your permanent nap?” The female symbiote laughed. “You’re an interesting one, Cain Adamson. Why don’t you stay here? Considering your condition, I’m sure we can make it worth your while.”

  The irony was that they were probably being honest. The Shadow Realm might be able to provide a home for me, if I allowed it. But if I let myself turn into such a creature, I’d never be able to escape my curse. Demonic symbiotes were basically immortal and lived through the extensions of the shadows they controlled. That type of existence didn’t appeal to me at all.

  “You know better than to think I’ll agree to that.”

  “Yes, I suppose we do,” a third symbiote said. “But don’t worry. We can change your mind.”

  Taking a deep breath, I summoned my power, hoping and praying it would be enough to defeat the obstacles in my path. Fire bloomed at my fingertips. Elemental magic had never been my specialty, but I still had demonic blood running through my veins. I’d make do.

  The attack I was waiting for never came. Instead, the door of the cottage opened and two familiar figures walked out.

  “Come now. Don’t be like that, Cain,” a female voice said. “After everything we’ve been through, you wouldn’t throw a wrench into our plans, would you?”

  The woman’s companion smiled at me. “We finally have leverage against The Infernal Realm. You wouldn’t take that away, would you?”

  I stared at them, unable to believe my eyes. My mother and Lilith smiled at me, looking beautiful, vibrant, and alive.

  It was a mirage, a lie, something I shouldn’t have accepted. But if there was one person I couldn’t fight, it was the mother I’d tried to save for the better part of my life.

  My hold on my power faltered. I hesitated. My mother extended her hand toward me. “You’re safe here. You won’t have to suffer any longer. You can rest now.”

  A memory of Delilah flashed through my mind, as she had been in her last moments. I’d promised her I’d end this war, and if I did this, that wouldn’t happen.

  Then again, Delilah was dead now. Maybe the symbiotes were right and the world deserved the incoming conflict.

  “All right, Mother,” I said. “But just so you know, you should have come to see me sooner.”

  The symbiotes glided out of my path, reassured. I stepped toward the cottage. My mother met me halfway and threw her arms around me.

  “I know,” she whispered in my ear. “I’ll make it up to you. I promise. We’ll be together again. All of us.”

  What could I do? I forced myself to believe her.

  Sariel’s Sorrow

  In the wake of Cain’s disappearance, everyone stared at the spot where he’d been in disbelief. “What the fuck?” Azrael asked. “How did he manage that? The ritual circle didn’t work anymore.”

  “I’m pretty sure it had something to do with Delilah,” I said.

  I felt numb, like I was underwater, being swallowed by the waves of an ice-cold ocean. It took everything in my power to not fall apart. But I knew that if I didn’t pretend, things would be much worse.

  My wings hurt where Delilah’s blast had struck me, but I ignored the pain. “It looks like she didn’t approve of Kemuel using that enchantment on her.”

  The High Seraph pressed his lips together so tightly they went white. I wanted to tear him apart for what he’d done. If he hadn’t stepped in, we might have managed to get Delilah to come back with us, properly. But it was too late now.

  “If you’d been able to control her, this wouldn’t have been necessary in the first place,” Kemuel said.

  Anger surged through me, biting and fierce. “Satan was never that easy to control. You’d know that if you’d actually tried to do it instead of using her as a punching bag to test your own skills.”

  “Enough!” Michael barked. “There’s no point in arguing about it now. We have to return to The Celestial Realm. And regardless of what happened to Delilah, we still have to rescue her parents. It’s our duty.”

  Zadkiel shot Michael a skeptical look. “Assuming they’ll survive Lucifer’s anger.”

  “Don’t be stupid,” I snapped at him. “Demons are nothing if not sadistic. Lucifer will want to prolong his revenge. And there’s still the child to think about. They’re alive.”

  “Yes, but will they want to be, after Lucifer is done with them?” Kemuel asked.

  I had no answer to that. It was just as well that he didn’t seem to expect one. He gestured for us to follow him and transformed into his energy form once again.

  I followed his example and together, we all left Sodom.

  From there, the day only got worse. When we returned to the academy, we found Metatron furious with us and already organizing new squads to find Cain and Delilah.

  “How could you keep something so important from me?” he bellowed. “I should have been informed of her true identity the moment she entered the academy.”

  “If you have a problem with it, bring it up with The Supreme Being, Kemuel, or the Grim Reaper. It’s not like we’re the only ones who figured it out.”

  “No, but you encouraged her stay, her growth, and her powers. You were the ones who executed her the first time around. You should have known better.”

  “That’s the whole point. We did know better. She was here for a reason, Metatron. If she was given Death’s powers, she had to learn how to use them. Our job was to make sure she remained Delilah St. John, but the demons had other ideas. It’s nobody’s fault but theirs.”

  Metatron knew that I was right, but that didn’t mean he was happy about it. “Just get out of my sight before I curse you again.”

  Never had I been more relieved for Metatron’s tendency to lose his temper when he was stressed. I was reaching the end of my rope too, and if I had to share space with these people for much longer, I’d snap and do something they’d regret more than I would.

  Michael ushered us out of The Halls of Truth himself. Metatron hadn’t explicitly told him to leave, but he had included himself in our ‘punishment’, regardless.

  As quickly as we could, we retreated to our quarters. When we finally reached our tower, Yeqon and Azazel collapsed like puppets with their strings cut.

  Since Delilah had turned to salt, Yeqon had gone almost catatonic. Azazel had remained silent too, and he’d been trying to keep Yeqon from falling apart altogether. It had been my job to speak while they couldn’t, to fill their silences and make sure no one noticed how much Delilah’s death had affected us. But now that we were behind closed doors, we could no longer escape the enormity of what had just struck us.

  I wanted to reach out to my fellow Watchers, but my strength failed me. I drop
ped to my knees, stabbing my fingers through my hair and shaking. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. We’re so fucked.”

  As I spoke, I clutched the edges of my wings and started ripping out my feathers. Azazel and Yeqon didn’t say anything, but Michael was calm enough to intervene. He knelt by my side and grabbed my hands, keeping me from doing further damage to myself. “Are you all right? The blast from Delilah’s magic hit you pretty badly.”

  It was kind of funny to realize that no one had given my injury too much thought. The other archangels couldn’t have missed the fact that I was hurt, and normally, they’d have ushered me to the infirmary to get treatment. Today was a day for exceptions.

  I didn’t mind. It was better this way, since this wound and this pain reminded me of Delilah. Freeing myself from Michael’s hold, I pulled out another fistful of feathers. “I’m fine. It’s nothing I can’t handle.”

  “Is that a fact? And here I thought you were maiming yourself.”

  “What’s it to you? Why do you care?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe because Delilah isn’t here to bug you about it.”

  His words were like a physical blow, but they did work. I stopped attacking my already damaged wings and paid a little more attention to Michael.

  Until now, he hadn’t seemed as affected. I’d thought it might have been because of his archangel nature. Clearly, I’d been wrong to dismiss his pain. As I watched, his shoulders slumped and his wings lost their glow. “How was this possible? How did this happen?”

  He didn’t sound like the powerful archangel general anymore. He sounded lost, almost scared. I didn’t blame him one bit.

  “We dropped our guard. We should have known Alyssa would use the information against us, and that Delilah wouldn’t take it well. We should have never allowed them to meet.”

  My words snapped Azazel out of his trance. “We didn’t have much choice, did we?”