by Rae Foxx
"Oh, Lil. I'm sorry." He pulled me into his arms, tucked his hand under my knees and carried me to the couch. He stayed quiet with me on his lap, rocking back and forth gently. When my sobs subsided, Michael smoothed my hair back from my face and smiled at me. "You're blotchy."
I snorted. "It would be a good time to do a blog about covering red skin."
I hiccupped and burrowed into his chest. "It was just a lot, knowing that I could've had children over the years."
"Yeah, but what about raising them? You wouldn't have been able to."
He rubbed slow circles on my back.
"I don't know. Maybe once I experience handing a baby over to an adoptive mother, I'll change my mind, but right now it seems a little bit better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."
He hummed his agreement. "We'll have to petition the Big Man, if he will even listen. See if he'll lift his edict from Sandalphon and let things happen as they happen. He was always all about meddling in human affairs, but lately, he's been more standoffish, so he may surprise us."
We sat like that for a few more minutes while I calmed down, but the sound of the garage door opening startled both of us. Michael moved me to the couch and grabbed my hand. Pressing a firm kiss to it, he winked at me. "Back when I can."
He disappeared, and in my state, my mate leaving caused me to dissolve into a fresh round of tears.
Jellybean, who had laid on the ground at my feet, put his head in my lap until Lucian came in and heard me crying. Soon I was curled up in his lap, trying to explain it was just a hormonal fit, and I was fine.
He didn't buy it, but he also didn't press. I stayed on his lap until I fell asleep.
Abaddon was created by Lucifer to help him contain and control demons.
13
I couldn't put it off anymore. I could deliver my Turtle at any time, and I had to have somewhere to take her. Deciding the best way to handle the situation proved impossible. Keeping the baby as long as I could meant I'd get more attached if that was possible. But handing her off as soon as I had her, even if it was the smartest thing to do, would mean I couldn't experience what it meant to be a new mom, and that was heartbreaking in itself. I was thirty-six weeks pregnant. Even without any ethereal help, I could deliver at any moment, and once Turtle was out of me, we had to double our efforts and try to get Lucifer into Hell.
First things first, I had to find her a new family. That was going to take some sneaking around. First, I used my internet skills to investigate the nurse, Anna. She had recently divorced and was newly dating a man that drove a motorcycle. She had two sons from her first marriage and seemed fairly secular, which was fine. I could make sure Turtle had the appropriate religious education by subtly interfering in her life.
I decided to check Anna out further, and if I still liked her, I'd have Michael do his thing and stare into her heart as well as her new boyfriend's. See if they'd be good to my Turtle.
Obtaining her home address and work schedule was remarkably simple. The address was readily available on the internet, and a quick phone call to the hospital told me she was there on shift. I already knew from my tour of the labor and delivery ward several weeks ago that the nurses worked twelve-hour shifts that began and ended at seven. It was a little after noon, Lucian was at work, and I had nothing better to do.
I drove my small, red car to her house and used my limited magic to unlock the door. I couldn't do much in this human body, but at least I could get in.
Starting in the foyer, I began my snooping. I wanted to know everything there was to know about this woman if I was to leave my child with her.
My first impression of the home was that it smelled clean. Good. I couldn't leave Turtle with someone that lived in filth. If I'd walked into a nasty home I would've walked right back out.
Her mail was pretty standard. Bills, a recall notice for her car. She had it tacked to a corkboard behind the door. Good. She intended to take care of it soon. Responsible.
I worked my way through her house, one ear cocked the whole time. If they came home and found me snooping, at the very least they'd think I was nuts. At worst, they'd call the cops.
After rifling through Anna's underwear in her pretty purple bedroom and not finding anything, I slammed the drawer shut. "Damn it," I whispered. It was taking way too long. If I was in my ethereal form, this would have been a cinch. Anything I wanted revealed, would have shown itself to me, with just a little bit of power. In this form, using power weakened me by the second, but it had to be done. Pulling out a trickle of power, I sent it out across the room searching for anything useful to me.
As my magic settled over the room, a sense of the objects trickled to me. I was used to it being like a shout, but this was subtle. More like they whispered their secrets to me now.
Breathing deep, I closed my eyes and let my senses guide me around the room. For the most part, everything told me stories of a good, wholesome life. But darkness hid somewhere in the room. I sniffed harder, even though it wasn't a scent exactly, no more than it was a true whisper. The impressions I got from the objects in the room were more like an echo. But no, that wasn't right either.
It was a combination of it all. My senses tingled with awareness and intent. And something under Anna's bed drew my attention. "Of course, it's under the bed," I muttered.
Lowering myself awkwardly down, I settled on my side and used my phone to shine a light under.
There wasn't even a dust bunny under there. Maybe she was too neat.
Or she had one of those robot vacuums. Those things were so cool.
The only thing under the bed was a box right in the middle where I couldn't reach. Scooting halfway under with my belly wedged and Turtle kicking against the pressure, I got the tips of my fingers on the small box. Grunting, I walked my fingers across the top, trying to get a grip on it.
"Come here," I hissed, lashing out with my magic. I grunted as it worked, and the box slid across the floor and smushed against my face, squishing my nose. "Thanks."
After what felt like two hours, I got to my feet and set the box on the bed to open it.
The box held newspaper clippings. I gathered from them that they were about Anna's father. He'd been a lawyer.
But they weren't the source of the darkness. I kept digging through pictures and old greeting cards until I came to a flat velvet box. Almost like a jewelry box, but I knew it contained a coin.
It was consumed with darkness. I flipped it open to see an old silver dollar from the late eighteen hundreds.
I wouldn't be able to get a true read on it without touching it, so I pulled it out of its velvet casing and palmed it, rubbing my thumb across it's worn face.
An image of a man popped into my head. I knew he was Anna's father, thanks to my magic. He was holding a gun to someone's head, then... Damn. I dropped the coin with a gasp. He was a bad, bad man. I'd definitely have to have Michael dig deep into this family before I left my Turtle with them, but there wasn't much time left to look for another family. I had to deliver her, pronto.
No time like the present. "Michael," I hissed. "Gabe?"
Tapping my foot, I waited impatiently. "Michael," I called louder. He didn't appear. Time to try shouting. "Gabe?"
Gabriel appeared across the room. "What's wrong?" he asked in a pant. "We're busy."
Arching an eyebrow, I gave him my haughtiest look. "Too busy to help me find a place for our daughter to grow up?"
"No, of course not, but we've been trying to track down Raph." He strode forward and wrapped his arms around me. "Whoa." Stepping back, he looked around. "What's putting off all that evil?"
In his ethereal body, he'd feel it much stronger than I would.
I held out the coin. "This was from the father of the woman I'm considering. I need Michael to check her out soon, to make sure she doesn’t carry any of her father's evil madness."
"This dude is down there in Abaddon for sure," he said with raised eyebrows as he turned
the coin over in his hands. "The humans don't know half of what he did before they fried him."
"They fried him?" I asked, shocked. That hadn't come up in my internet searches about Anna.
"Yeah, death row, electric chair. He was a serial killer." Gabe put the coin in the case and shuddered. "I'll go get Michael. You get out of here before someone catches you."
He pressed a firm kiss to my forehead and turned away, but then paused. "I love you, Lil. I'm so sorry you're going to have to do this."
My breath hitched in my throat, and he moved to my side, wrapping me in his arms again. "I've been pressing you to do what's right for Abaddon and the greater good, I know. I'm sorry I have to do that."
He didn’t have to. It wasn’t like the facts didn’t plague my mind all the time.
I rubbed my face on his shirt, a soft flannel that looked nothing like what he'd normally wear. "What have you got on?" I asked, looking up into his face and laughing.
He shrugged. "We've been looking on Earth for Raphael. Trying to blend in. We've been in Texas."
Resting my cheek against the soft material, I sighed. "I know you're doing the right thing. You're doing what has to be done, and I don't hold that against you. I haven't made it any easier on you, either."
Laughter rumbled in his chest under my ear. "You never make anything easy on me, Lil."
I enjoyed the comfort of his embrace for a few more moments, then pulled away. "Go. Do what you need to do, but get Michael to look into Anna and her family pronto."
Backing away from my mate, I gave him room to leave. He saluted me with a wink, then disappeared.
Time to go home. I slid the box under the bed, but wasn't willing to go so far as to make sure it was perfectly in the center again. I didn't have the energy to get back down on the floor. If Anna noticed it was moved, hopefully, she'd think it was one of her sons or maybe that vacuum, if she had one.
I kept my power expanded around me as I retraced my steps through the house, looking for any further signs of darkness, but nothing sprang out at me. I walked to my car as if I had every right to be there hoping it would keep any neighbors from wondering or mentioning it to Anna.
When I pulled into the garage, Lucian's car was already there. He was home early from work, and I had no explanation for where I'd been.
Window shopping at the baby store in the mall seemed plausible. I'd go with that.
Sucking in a deep breath, I prepared myself to go in and pretend to be Connie.
As I climbed out of the car, I wondered again why we hadn't tried to wake Lucifer's memories. At least we wouldn't have to sneak around. I'd have to ask Michael when he made a report on Anna and her boyfriend.
14
Jellybean's barks woke me from a deep sleep in the middle of the night. When my mind cleared, I realized I recognized the other sounds coming from downstairs. Jerking upright, I used what little bit of magic I could access to push into Lucian as he stirred, the barks waking him as well. He'd always been a deep sleeper in this life. Usually, I had to shake him awake, but somehow this seemed easier than moving.
This time, I didn't want him awake. Whatever Jellybean was going off about was likely to be something I didn't want to have to explain to Lucian.
I hadn't seen Michael or Gabriel since I spoke to Gabe in Anna's bedroom earlier in the week. I hadn't had the opportunity to tell them I thought we should wake Lucifer's memories. This whole thing would be easier if he knew. As I pulled on a robe, I wished I'd called them so I could at least have Lucifer to help me, even if he was in Lucian's body. Maybe I just wanted to enjoy my Lucian a little longer.
Tiptoeing down the hall, I tried to hurry, but wanted to be extra careful. Jellybean had never gotten this riled up. If it was a human that had broken in or something stupid like that, and I was mistaking the sounds, I could handle it with my small bit of magic. If this was what I thought it was to get my Beanyboy so upset, it was very bad.
"Jellybean," I whispered. Moving down the stairs, I tried to peer around the corner into the living room where he growled low in his throat between the occasional barks.
Before moving into the room, I looked around the kitchen just to make sure nothing was going to sneak up on me while I dealt with the living room. The office door was shut like I'd left it, so I ignored it for now.
Walking into the living room, I sighed when I saw what had him all upset. I was right, unfortunately. A low-level demon cowered in the corner, snarling and salivating at my dog. "Is this what you're freaking out about?" I put my hand on Jellybean's back, and he stood taller with me by his side.
Whining, he wiggled his massive body against my side, nearly knocking me over. The presence of the disgusting creature held more significance than just letting my hellhound have a midnight snack.
These type demons were the lowest of the low. The souls that had no hope of rehabilitation. The ones that were so evil, they'd never be able to be released back to earth, never be reborn. They were tortured until they became these nasty creatures.
This one looked like a burned raccoon. He had a pointy nose and angry eyes. The demons kept some semblance of their human mind, with the ability to think for itself to some extent. Mostly they stayed angry and fought each other. They lived their eternity in a part of Abaddon that was a wild forest, but warded so that these demons couldn't even get out into Abaddon-proper. They were kept under tight control and given no freedoms at all.
Not only had this one escaped the forest, he'd escaped Abaddon itself.
"Damn it," I muttered. "Kill it." I said as I waved my arm toward the demon giving Jellybean the permission he’d been waiting for. Jellybean lunged with a snarl and made quick work of the demon.
"Gross," I muttered. "Michael," I whispered urgently. He'd better have heard me that time.
I walked to the back door and opened it. "Go enjoy your kill outside."
Jellybean gathered the disgusting creature up in his mouth and trotted out the door with his head high. "Yes, you're a good boy," I told him. "You protected Mommy and Daddy."
His tail whipped back and forth as he passed me, smacking me in the butt. "Ouch." I slammed the door behind him and turned to find Michael looking at the carnage.
"Want some help with this?" he asked.
I sighed, some of the tension leaving my body now that he was here to deal with it. "Please."
He waved his arm and the black blood disappeared from the corner of my living room, the walls and floor returning to their pristine state.
"Thanks." I sank onto the couch and rested my tired head on the back. "You know what it was?" I asked.
Michael sat beside me and took my hand. "Yeah. I saw Jellybean outside with it."
He stared at me. "Gabe is right."
"I know." Tears filled my eyes. "I know what I have to do, but I don't want to do it."
Michael took my hand. "I went to the nurse's house."
That perked me up somewhat. I hoped he had good news for me, but if he did, that was all the more reason I had to stop delaying. "What did you find?"
"That's where I've been ever since Gabe told me. She didn't see me, of course. I started with her, then the boyfriend, then most of their families."
He squeezed my hand. "They're good, Lil. Honorable, with good hearts. I’m confident and reassured about leaving the baby with them."
"What about the dad?" I asked.
"I dug into that, too. Couldn't go to Abaddon to look for him, of course, but I got the attention of one of your lieutenants and he dug into it. He's long since been reborn. Turns out there was some physical issue with his DNA that humans can't understand yet. It made him crave violence." He paused. "I checked, no-one else in the family has the same problem."
I nodded. That happened sometimes, but was one of the rarer explanations for such behavior. "That's good." At least it wasn't some hereditary thing. "So, she's perfect?"
"Yes, and there's more. The boyfriend wants to be a father, but he's unable to have children
due to a motorcycle accident years ago."
Well, fuck. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I stared at Michael. "I have no reason not to, do I?"
He shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry."
We sat in silence while I tried to brace myself. I'd been forming a plan in my mind, but it was time to set it into motion. "Is the baby ready?" I whispered several minutes later.
Michael put his hand on my stomach. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensation of my Turtle rolling around inside me.
"She's perfect," he said. "She'd be fine anytime you want to deliver her."
With a nod, I stifled a sob and took still a few more minutes to compose myself. "Okay." I sucked in a deep breath. "Can you get Gabe?"
"Be right back." He disappeared, just long enough for me to miss the warmth of his hand on my leg, but then he returned and scooted closer, pulling me into his arms.
Gabe appeared seconds later. "What's up, Lil?" He dropped to his knees in front of me when he saw my face. "Is the baby okay?"
I nodded and wiped my nose on my sleeve. Gross. Michael conjured a tissue from somewhere, then waved his hand and my dirty sleeve cleaned itself. "It's time."
An irritated look crosses Gabe's face.
"What?" I asked.
"You know I'm as anxious as anyone to get this show on the road and get Lucifer back to Abaddon." He squeezed my knee. "But I still can't find Raphael. That makes me nervous."
"Yeah." Michael agreed. "And we questioned Sandalphon further, and neither of us believes he is behind the Lucifer stuff. Just the pregnancy."
I sighed. "Well, whatever the reason, we have to put all our efforts into getting Lucian back to Abaddon, and that means I must have this child."
Rubbing my stomach, I considered how it would feel to not have her inside me. To not have my constant companion. "I've been looking online at adoption agencies. I hacked into a few. I can't find anyone I like more than Anna, especially now that Michael has given her his approval."
Gabe nodded. "He told me."