by Rae Foxx
"Come back tomorrow morning as soon as Lucian goes to work. Give me time to come to terms with this." I closed my eyes and set my jaw. "Bring Sandalphon and be–" My voice hitched as I spoke. "Be prepared to help me go into labor."
Michael pulled me tighter against his chest, and the three of us sat in silence while I cried. "I wish I had Lucifer," I whispered. "Why can't we give him his memories back the way you did mine?"
"I tried," Gabe said. "Several times. Whoever put this spell on him has his natural personality locked up so tight I can't break it. They'll have to undo it."
Michael nodded, his chin bumping the top of my head as he held me. "I haven't tried, but we'll do it tomorrow with our three powers combined. It should be plenty of power. There are no angels more powerful than any of us, so the combined will might be enough."
"Should we do it before we deliver?" I asked.
They were silent as they mulled the options. "No," Gabe said finally. "If it goes wrong or doesn't work, it might delay us, and we've got to get this all done fast."
I hated the idea of not having Lucifer by my side when I delivered his daughter. I'd have to make it up to him later. He would've been so excited to know he was having a little girl.
We stayed on the couch, with Gabe squeezing in next to me until I fell asleep. When I woke, I was curled around Lucian with the baby kicking him merrily in the back. I took the magic off of him, so he'd wake naturally when his alarm went off for work, then let the tears flow as I tried to fall back to sleep.
It never came, so I spent the rest of the night talking to Turtle in my mind and telling her all the ways I would've spoiled her and loved her. I tried to imbibe my words with a little magic so it would imprint on her tiny mind, but I wasn't sure if it worked. All I could do was try.
When an Angel or Fallen spends a lifetime on Earth, their natural personalities dominate their human personality, even though they have no memory of their eternal lives.
15
I had to catch Anna and her boyfriend early before she went to work. I had her number. I'd swiped a business card from her kitchen. She made jewelry and sold it on the side. I'd found her craft room, then her business cards.
"Anna?" I said in a quiet voice while Lucian was in the shower. "This is Constance Morlock. You were my nurse in the hospital." I couldn't put the whammy on her over the phone, but if I could talk her into meeting me, I could do it in person. Humans were susceptible to magic. I was fairly sure mine would be enough, but I could have Michael or Gabriel intervene if necessary.
"Hello, Constance. How did you get this number?"
I went with honesty, to a point. "Your jewelry business."
She didn't reply immediately. She was uncomfortable. I'd been worried about that. I should've had one of the guys zap me to her house and done this in person. Oh, well, too late now.
"Anna, I need to meet with you. It's vitally important."
She cleared her throat. "Constance, this is highly inappropriate. If you need medical care, why don't you just go to the hospital?"
"I don't need medical care, but it is a matter of life and death. Please. I'll be alone, and you can have your boyfriend there. In fact, I'd prefer it if you did."
She hemmed and hawed for a moment. "I don't know if I can do that."
"Anna, listen." I put as much serious emphasis on it as I could. "I will be at your house at three. I will be alone. All I ask is that you give me time to explain, then you can slam the door in my face."
The seconds ticked by heavy on my heart as I waited for her to reply.
"How do you know where I live?"
I sighed. "I promise, Anna. I mean you no harm. I need your help."
When I said that, she sighed. "Okay, Constance, but I'll have the police on speed dial. If you try anything, I'm calling them."
"I promise, no harm will come to you. I just need help, desperately."
She didn't respond, so I continued. "Thank you, Anna. I'll see you at three."
Just in time, I hung up the phone. The water in our master bathroom shut off. Lucian's hums echoed off the bathroom walls. Closing my eyes, I tried to push back the pain of knowing what was coming as soon as he was ready.
I wasn't strong enough to see Lucian off to work without him knowing something was majorly wrong with me, so I put my phone on silent and scurried back to bed.
Throwing the covers over my shoulder, I buried my face in the pillow and feigned sleep.
Lucian got ready quietly as he often did if I wasn't awake when he left. Before the pregnancy that had never happened, but now I'd spent a lot of mornings sleeping in.
"Goodbye, love," he whispered. I hadn't cracked an eye for fear he'd realize I was faking. "I love you and our Turtle."
My heart splintered into a million pieces when he said that. He was going to come home to no baby and remember thousands of years of memories. He had no idea what a hard evening he'd be having, but I did, and I hurt for him and me both.
Staying in the bed, I rolled over to my other side and didn't move until the sound of the garage door opening made my eyes fly open. I rolled out of bed as fast as I could, which wasn't very fast, and peered out of the window to watch Lucian pull away. When I turned around, Michael and Gabriel stood in the doorway of my bedroom.
"Hey," Michael murmured. "You okay?"
I dissolved into tears, sinking down onto the soft carpet. They launched toward me and had their arms around me before my butt hit the ground. My tears flowed for a while as they rocked me back and forth. A cold nose pressing into my arm made me pause my hysteria.
"Aw, Jellybean. Are you worried about Mama?" I laughed through my tears as he tried to climb into my lap. My big belly made that nearly impossible for him to do. His distraction helped me, though, and I sucked in a deep breath.
I was Lilith, Queen of Abaddon, one of the original Fallen. Mother of the demons and one of the most powerful females in existence. I could do this. The pain would pass, and before I knew it, I'd be able to see my girl again and introduce her to Lucifer. We'd figure out a way to be in her life, one way or another.
I could do this.
Struggling to roll over, I waited until Michael and Gabriel realized I was trying to stand. Once they did, they jumped up and pulled me to my feet.
"How is this going to work?" I asked.
"It can be painless," Michael said. "You still have to deliver the baby, but we will make it fast and remove all pain."
I considered letting him do that. "No. I do want you to make it fast, but I want the pain."
Gabriel rubbed my arms from behind. "You don't have to do that."
"No. The pain is mine." I wanted to remember every bit of it. I never wanted the memory to slip away, and the pain was a way I could control that.
"Sandalphon is downstairs. He can make sure you and the baby are both safe during the delivery and help you after," Michael said. "I will help as well, but I have no experience with actual labor or delivery."
"I know nothing about any of this," Gabe said with a bland smile. "I'm just here for emotional support."
I nodded. "Fine." It hurt that Lucifer couldn't be here, but we had no choice but to get this done so we could get him back. I moved to the bed and shimmied out of my panties as Gabriel left the room to get Sandalphon. I left them on the floor, not caring a bit at the moment. Hiking my nightgown up, I sat on the bed with it gathered around my waist, then pulled the blankets up to cover me.
"How fast?" I asked when they returned.
"You'll deliver in minutes." Sandalphon set a small pile of soft, pink blankets at the foot of the bed. "Let me offer again to mask your pain."
"No." I left no room for argument in my tone. "Don't ask me again."
They didn't. Michael climbed into the bed beside me. "I'm mainly here for healing and support. Sandalphon is going to do the heavy lifting."
I snorted. "I believe I'll be doing the heavy lifting."
Michael chuckled and put his arm around me.
Gabe stood beside me and took my hand. "Squeeze as hard as you want to."
"Okay, Sandy" I gripped Gabriel's hand as hard as I could, trying not to be mad at the cherub that had both cursed and blessed me with a pregnancy. "Let's do this. How does it work?"
"I've done this very few times," he said. "And if it goes like it did before, you'll feel a few moments of intense pain, and that is your body going through the laboring process at a much-accelerated pace. Then the delivery will be extremely painful, but also very fast. And then Michael will make sure your body heals as I help your uterus shrink to normal size. Together we will make your body go through essentially six weeks of healing in about..." He squinted his eyes as he considered. "Maybe three hours."
"Will that part hurt?" I asked, but I already knew the answer.
"It will." He gave me a somber look, but didn't say what I knew he wanted to. He didn't offer to take it away. I appreciated it.
"When do we start?" I asked.
Sandalphon hopped onto the bed at my feet. He wasn't a tall angel and our bed was on a pedestal base. I tried not to giggle. He lifted the blanket off of me and motioned for me to scoot down closer to him. "Whenever you're ready." He crossed his legs and looked at me over his short, steepled fingers.
I considered my options. I could sit here a few more minutes, or I could deliver the baby quickly and have more time to hold her before we had to take her to Anna. "Now."
Michael tightened his arms around me and Sandalphon's hands glowed blue. "Sure thing. Brace yourself." Gabriel grabbed my arm with his free hand. I held onto him for dear life.
Sandalphon leaned forward and put his hand on my stomach. As soon as he did, I gasped. The pain set in immediately. Intense, life-altering pain. I cried out, unable to stop myself. "Make sure the baby is okay," I yelled as sobs wracked my body.
The pain was like what I'd read in the books, but a thousand times stronger. My body was being ripped in half by the strongest demons to ever walk the halls of Abaddon. The fire in the pits of the realm burned through my veins, my womb their source. I writhed in the flames, burning, charring, my body turning to ash. This must be what the tortured souls experienced before they gave in and became demons. This was pure Hell.
And as fast as it started, it stopped. I panted, tears pouring down my cheeks, and came back to myself. My hearing returned, and awareness of the room. Jellybean scratched at the door, whining, and someone was sobbing.
Oh, no, that was me. I was the one sobbing, crying the pain out. It had left my abdomen, but the memory of it kept me upset. Michael had me so tightly in his arms it was hard to breathe. I shifted so he'd loosen up a little. When I did, I realized it felt like there was a baseball shoved up my twat. Gasping, I sat up and shoved the blanket the rest of the way off of me. It exposed me completely, but at that point, I couldn't have cared less.
"Holy shit!" Her black, wet hair was poking out of me, and I'd never seen my nether regions looking so strange. "This is nuts."
"Okay, now this is going to hurt as well, Lilith, but it's almost done." Sandalphon put his hand on my stomach again. "Sit up." He pointed with his other hand to Michael. "Support her." Michael moved around behind me and put his legs on either side.
Gabriel grabbed one of my legs and pulled it back, then put his head next to mine. "You're amazing," he whispered. "Stronger than anyone I've ever seen."
The pain set in, but it wasn't anywhere near as intense as before. I gritted my teeth and looked down at the baby as she slowly emerged from my body. "This isn't how it's supposed to go," I grunted as I braced against the pain. I wasn't pushing or doing anything to help her emerge. Part of me was disappointed not to have that real birthing experience, but as she moved out of me, she turned. The moment I saw her face, I didn't care how I got her here with me. All that mattered was that she was here.
In moments, it was over. The pain receded. Sandalphon wrapped my sweet girl in one of the blankets he'd brought with him and put her in my arms.
I didn't have words to express my joy. "She's perfect," Michael whispered. "Looks like Lucifer."
Giggles bubbled up my throat, the birthing hormones making my human body a total mess. "She is perfect, isn't she?"
Gabe reached around and picked up the corner of the blanket, rubbing her face with the gentlest of touches. She opened her mouth and grunted, making her first noises.
"Ariel," I whispered. "Welcome to the world sweet girl. I'm so sorry." I broke down, sobbing again. The thought of giving her up stabbed straight into my heart. I didn't want to see her be raised by someone else, a virtual stranger.
There was no choice.
"I'm going to set the healing in motion," Sandalphon whispered. "I don't have to be in the room for this." He shifted on the bed and waved his arm. I watched him with Ariel pressed against my cheek. The mess all over the bed disappeared. Handy, that magic cleanup.
"Now." He stood and leaned over me, putting his hand on my stomach again. "This will also hurt, but in a few hours, you’ll be like you were before you got pregnant."
I nodded, and his hand glowed. A dull ache spread across my stomach, but I ignored it. As he walked out of the room, Gabriel tucked himself into the bed on one side, and Michael scooted out from behind me and tucked himself in on the other. We all shifted so I held Ariel in the middle, but all three of us could see her. Gabriel tucked the blanket around us.
"I should feed her," I murmured. Unwrapping her, I sat up and grunted when the dull ache in my abdomen spread. "That's distracting."
Enduring every moment of the pain of the labor and delivery had been my right, but now I didn't want anything to distract me from my sweet girl. "Michael," I whispered, my eyes glued to my daughter. "I changed my mind now. Take the pain away."
"Gladly." He rubbed my back, the warmth of his magic seeping into my skin. In seconds, the pain faded. My uterus contracted, shrinking, but there was no pain.
"Gabe, will you grab a diaper from her room?" I stifled a sob at the thought of her room. "I forgot about her room."
We had a nursery ready to go, decorated in a sky theme that would've worked for a boy or girl. It was fully stocked with diapers and wipes and a handful of neutral outfits.
Gabriel was back in seconds with a diaper. He took Ariel from my arms and laid her on the bed at my feet. "You've done that before." I watched him deftly put the diaper on my sweet girl. As he did, she turned her face toward me and opened her eyes.
They were black. I leaned forward, squinting. No. Not black. Very dark brown. Breathing a sigh of relief, I put my hands over my face and tried to quiet the emotions. "I thought her eyes were black," I said.
"I did too, at first," Michael said. "But they're the same deep brown as Lucifer's."
Gabriel wrapped her up again and handed her to me, then climbed into the bed beside us again.
"Lil, if you want alone time with her, let us know. We can leave." Gabriel kissed my forehead and stared down at Ariel as I pulled up my shirt.
"I'm okay," I said. "I love you both. I want you to spend time with her, too."
Nervous about breastfeeding, I wasn't totally sure what to do, but she latched like she'd been doing it for years. "I wonder if all this magic making me heal is going to affect if she can get any milk or colostrum," I said as she suckled. "She seems to be getting something."
Michael put his hand on her. "She's eating. She's happy."
"You can feel her emotions?" I asked in surprise. "I didn't realize you could read a baby like that."
"Oh, yes. I'd be handy to have around before a child can talk, actually. I can tell you exactly what they need when they cry."
I grunted. "Too bad, then."
My sarcastic words brought more tears to my eyes. What I would've given to have raised a child with my mates.
After several minutes, I switched her to the other breast, just like it says to do in all those new mom books I read. She latched on again. "The books all say it's harder than this," I said. "She's a pro."
Michael chortled. "I'm sure that's it."
Ignoring them, I focused on her. "How much time do I have?" I asked.
"Hours yet. Just enjoy her." Gabe slipped out of bed again. "I'm going to have Sandalphon work on your nursery. I assume we're giving it all to the new family?"
I nodded without looking at him. "Yes. They won't have anything prepared at all."
He came back a few minutes later. "He's conjuring boxes and whatever else he needs, then once they're on board we'll zap it over there." Jellybean followed him into the room and jumped up on the bed. Holding Ariel out, I let him sniff her. He chuffed, nudged her with his nose, and laid down at our feet. Even the dog liked her.
I snuggled down onto my side. Ariel had finished eating and was asleep, but she made the sweetest noises, coos, and grunts as she slept. Humming, I rubbed her back with my fingertips, using my power to imbibe her with love. As I did, I thought about all the things I wished I could say to her. The advice I'd give.
If everything worked out, we'd find a way to be a part of her life. We could turn up every once in a while, as relatives that didn't come into town often, or tell her we were her aunt and uncles. Something like that. But if it didn't go well, and this attack on Lucifer ended badly, it might become necessary to distance ourselves from her.
And when you lived for thousands of years, human years passed in a blink. Years I didn't want to miss, but very well might.
Likely would.
So, I used my limited powers to give it all to her. I wasn't at all sure how it would work. Hopefully, when she had moments of introspection as she grew, she'd have my voice deep inside. Reminding her of her worth.
Never let a man define you. Always try to help those less fortunate than yourself. Don't do anything you wouldn't want to have to explain to a priest, until you're old enough to not have to explain things to a priest if you don't want to. Enjoy the carbs, but remember everything in moderation. Love hard and often, no matter the risk. Hearts always heal. Mistakes don't define us. How we react to mistakes is what defines us. Lipstick and mascara are a girl's best friends. You are your own biggest advocate. Your fathers and I love you more than our own lives. If not for this love, we wouldn't try to give you a normal, human life. You are the most precious soul I've ever met.