Runaway Heart

by Amity Lassiter

  She had to pull herself together, she had no other option. He planned for her to stay but she had to make arrangements if she couldn't. Tomorrow, they would all be interviewed separately by social services, Sheriff Montgomery had explained, and that would set the precedence for the court hearing to determine official guardianship of Kerri. All of it made her anxiety spike through the roof. So many more hoops to jump through than to just hit the road. She would try, at the very least, so she could stay here with Dane. And failing that, she would go.

  She let a long sigh out against the skin of Dane's chest as he stroked her hair lightly. She knew he wanted to hear those words back, but right now she just didn't have it in her. It would make things so much harder once she said them. Instead, she focused on the beating of his heart against her cheek, the temperature of his skin under her fingers, the rhythms and noises of his body just existing. It was something she wanted to commit to memory, just in case it was all she was left with. Sometime later, she drifted into a fitful sleep.

  *

  Morning came too early and Ren felt more hung over than she had the day after the dance hall. Unlike most other mornings, Dane hadn't gotten out of bed in the wee hours and here it was pushing eight and he was still holding her. Somehow, it had made the night pass easier. If she'd dreamt, she couldn't remember it and she was grateful, certain there could be nothing in the recesses of her subconscious except darkness.

  Ren was surprised that he was still asleep but all of this had to have been as exhausting for him as it was for her, and he wasn't running on the same kind of scared adrenaline she was. She slid herself out of his arms as carefully as she could but he stirred when she pulled away. She gave him her best attempt at a reassuring smile and leaned across the bed to give him a kiss, pulling on her t-shirt and underwear before she crept up the stairs.

  There was a gentle knocking on the main door as she slid into the room from the back stairwell. She frowned, crossing the floor quickly and pulled the door open to find Kerri standing there. The girl's hair and face were a mess and Ren could tell her sister likely had as fitful a night as she had.

  "Come on in, sweetie." Ren held her arms open and Kerri went directly into them. Ren felt her face contort with the threat of a sob but she swallowed it down before her sister could see and ushered her further into the bedroom. "What's wrong?"

  "Are they going to make me go with her?"

  Ren frowned, settling her sister on the edge of her still made bed. If Kerri noticed it, she didn't say anything.

  "No, they're not." Ren's voice was fierce as she clasped her sister's hand. "You're going to meet someone from social services today and they're going to ask you some questions about your life with me, and what your life was like with Anita. I want you to tell the truth, every time, just like Daddy taught us, okay?"

  The girl nodded tearfully.

  "You just tell them who you want your family to be, and why. Tell them what you remember from before we started living together. Tell them what life is like now, here with me. And Dane. He wants to help make sure you stay here, too."

  This wasn't the first time Ren had faked this kind of confidence in front of Kerri, especially in the last few days, and she prayed the act still looked sincere. She ran her hand over her sister's hair and let out a long breath, giving Kerri a smile she hoped sent the right message.

  "You want some breakfast?"

  "I don't know if I could eat." Kerri's words were mumbled.

  "I know, me either, but the boys will be hungry no matter what. Come on, let's go make some pancakes."

  They went down the stairs and started to prepare breakfast for the four of them. It wasn't long before Gage and Dane joined them and it hardly took any time for the banter and playfulness between the four of them to resume the way it had been going all summer. Ren savored it. Like a real family.

  —TWENTY-EIGHT—

  Ren tapped her foot anxiously as she waited for Kerri to reappear. Dane sat beside her much as he had the day they found the children missing after their date, an arm over her shoulder. She crossed and uncrossed her arms, anxious just to see her sister's face at the end of the debacle.

  Dane squeezed her shoulders lightly. "Would you relax?"

  They were in the hall of the Sheriff's office again, and Ren had made up her mind that if she didn't have to see the inside of this building ever again in her lifetime, she'd be happy. Three Rivers was small enough, it seemed pretty much anything official transpired inside of these doors.

  "They're keeping her an awful long time." Ren huffed.

  "They're just crossing all their t's and dotting all their i's. Asking the right questions to make sure we won't have to do this over." The calmness in Dane's voice was an anchor for her. She could have easily let her mind sift through all of the negative outcomes at a million miles an hour, but he centered her. She let out a long breath.

  "You're right."

  He chuckled softly, the sound further easing the anxiety in her bloodstream. "Of course I am."

  Not two minutes later, Kerri emerged. Her furrowed brow indicated she had clearly had some anxiety during the interview but it eased as soon as she saw her sister. Ren rose and pulled Kerri into her arms tightly, swearing she wouldn't let her go. All too soon, though, they were being ushered into the interview room by the representative from social services, a middle aged man with a paunch and a pinstriped shirt. Ren's ran her hands over her sister's hair and pressed her forehead against Kerri's.

  "We've got this, Ker-bear. Don't worry."

  Ren was surprised when Dane moved with her, guiding her toward the room, never taking his arm off of her shoulders as Kerri took a seat with Deputy Collins in the waiting area. The social services officer who had introduced himself as Art Thompson made a motion to stop Dane from entering but the younger man's resolute expression stopped him.

  "If it's all the same to you, Mr. Thompson, Ren doesn't have anyone else here to be with her."

  Thompson pursed his lips but then allowed the pair entrance and took up his seat behind the desk as they sat in the chairs opposite. It reminded Ren entirely too much of the night Sheriff Montgomery had reminded her that she had no legal right to Kerri, and she wondered if Art Thompson would be telling her the same thing today.

  He shuffled through a few papers then looked up and cleared his throat.

  "Well, Kerri unequivocally wants to stay with you, Ms. Maddock. She made that quite clear in her interview. She has absolutely no interest in residing with Mrs. Maddock."

  Ren breathed a small breath of relief but she knew this was only half of the battle. Myrna Pierce had stopped by for coffee this morning before they'd come and had primed them that social services would also be interested in the type of home life Ren could provide.

  Art Thompson continued.

  "Obviously, we want to do what is in the best interest of the child in question, but I have a few other questions about the situation Kerri would be living in provided we grant you guardianship of your sister, Ms. Maddock."

  "Yes, sir." Ren nodded, wetting her lips. She'd prepared the answers to the questions she imagined he would ask a million times.

  "You can call me Art, Ms. Maddock. When you say 'sir', I look over my shoulder for my father." The man offered her a kind smile, clearly attempting to lighten the mood in the room.

  "Okay."

  "Ms. Maddock, do you hold permanent employment?" Thompson read the question from a sheet in front of him.

  Casting a brief glance at Dane, she nodded.

  "Yes, I do. And a trust fund was set up through my father's life insurance that I am eligible to receive within the year, by my 25th birthday."

  "And you have permanent arrangements for residence?"

  "Yes, we have an agreement with the Baylors and live on the ranch."

  "Is this permanent?"

  Ren's stomach knotted. She knew all too well there was little in life that was permanent, least of all her living arrangements. Dane intercepted.r />
  "Yes, Mr. Thompson, it is a permanent arrangement." Dane's big hand closed over her fidgeting fingers.

  The social worker looked pointedly at their joined hands and shifted.

  "It's my understanding the Maddocks haven't been in Three Rivers for long, Mr. Baylor..."

  Ren glanced at Dane. She saw his jaw work and then he caught her eyes.

  "I understand it appears that way, but Ren and I have been courting for quite some time. I promise you the home environment is stable. We're engaged to be married." Dane offered the man a reassuring smile and Ren nearly choked on her tongue. He didn't make eye contact but Dane squeezed her fingers again, prompting her to keep her mouth shut. "Kerri will start at Three Rivers High in September."

  Thompson's eyes flicked to Ren as if to corroborate Dane's story but all she could do was nod dumbly and hope she looked convincing.

  "I see." Thompson looked back at his paperwork and made a couple of notations. "Until the hearing, I will grant custody and temporary guardianship of Kerri to you, Ms. Maddock, and Mr. Baylor. Mrs. Maddock is obviously not in any position to be her guardian at this time, and you don't seem to pose a flight risk, Ms. Maddock, considering your ties to the community." At the word 'ties', the man peered over his glasses at Dane, and Ren was convinced he didn't buy Dane's story. She held her breath.

  "The custody hearing will be in two weeks' time." The social worker rose from behind the desk and moved toward the door. "I suggest you bring your lawyer, Mr. Baylor, Ms. Maddock."

  He held the door open as they stood and exited the office. Ren felt like her body and her brain were disconnected, as with a gentle touch at the small of her back, Dane guided her into the foyer of the Sheriff's office. He shook Thompson's hand and Ren did the same, barely thinking of the situation at hand but of the lie Dane had told. He couldn't have meant it, but if she needed to pretend to be engaged to Dane for the sake of keeping Kerri, that was exactly what she would do. It sounded better than running right now.

  Suddenly, an enormous rush of relief overpowered Ren. It was only two weeks of peace, but compared to the life she had been living for the last four years, it sounded like a lifetime. Two weeks that wouldn't require her to look over her shoulder every thirty seconds or keep Kerri constantly in her line of sight.

  As they passed by Sheriff Montgomery's door, Dane poked his head in. "Hey Banks. You'll call me if she makes bail, right?"

  From where he had been going over paperwork, the young sheriff looked up at his childhood friend. "It isn't very likely… but of course. Have a good night, now."

  Ren slipped her hand into Dane's as they left the office.

  "The only person alive to pay her bail would be me." She said it as much to herself as to anybody else. A laugh bubbled up from deep inside of her chest and once she started, she couldn't stop. Dane opened the passenger side door of his truck and helped her in while she continued, finally throwing her head back and giving up to the laughter while he walked around the hood and got into the driver's seat. He took a look at her and shook his head with a smirk.

  Five miles from the ranch, Ren finally reined herself in, her eyes and nose streaming. Sniffing a bit, she shook her head.

  "That woman has never loved anyone. Not even my father. It's a wonder I even know how."

  Reaching across the seat, Dane wordlessly closed her hand in his.

  "I do, though," she said.

  "I know you do." Dane's words were quiet. "Someone who doesn't know how to love wouldn't have worked so hard to keep Kerri safe for the last four years, or sacrificed whatever semblance of a normal life she could have had to raise her. You can tell when you talk to her how much you love her. And Gage. I didn't know it was possible for that little boy to know more love than what our family gives him, but you waltzed in and showed him even more."

  "And you." She watched him. She might not be able to say the three-little-words but he should know she reciprocated his feelings, even if she couldn't put it to words. He smiled and without taking his eyes off the road, lifted their hands to kiss the back of hers.

  —EPILOGUE—

  Dane wiped his hands nervously on his jeans. Jesus. He hadn't had sweaty palms over a girl since middle school, and here he was, thirty two years old, and he couldn't get a handle on his nerves.

  He'd saddled Maverick and Roxy and sent Finn to the house to get Ren. It had taken a little planning but he'd managed to set aside this block of time just for them. After what happened the last time they rode out, he wanted to change those memories for her.

  Maverick swung his head to look at Dane, who was pacing a short four stride line back and forth across the floor of the barn. What was taking so long? For what felt like the fifteenth time, he checked his pocket to make sure he still had it. The horse thought it was a treat and without fail, every time Dane triple checked his pocket, Maverick nudged him for a treat.

  After what felt like hours, Dane heard the door of the barn swing open and he released a long breath. It had been a crazy couple of weeks for the whole family. They were all just beginning to relax and settle into the security of knowing a judge had legally given permanent custody of Kerri to Ren and Anita would not be bothering them anytime soon.

  "Hey, sugar," he greeted Ren as she came into view. A bemused expression covered her pretty face and it brought a smile out of him. His nerves ebbed away as she got closer and he took her in his arms and pressed a kiss to her lips. "Finn with the kids?"

  They still took precautions because it made everyone feel better, even though Anita was still in custody, awaiting trial for the abduction of Gage. There were still a lot of 'what ifs' to contend with, but the stress and anxiety had begun easing out of Ren's face the second the judge had awarded them Kerri.

  She nodded, casting her eyes to the saddled horses.

  "What's going on?"

  "You wanna go for a little ride with me?"

  The slow smile that crept across her face as she stroked Roxy's neck warmed his heart. With everything going on, the last couple of weeks had seen few opportunities for them to spend time alone together, despite the fact they were now living as a family instead of a boss and employee.

  "Finn's okay with staying with the kids?"

  Dane nodded, gesturing to his saddlebags.

  "I brought wine."

  "What are we waiting for?"

  The pleased expression on her face was unabashed and she slid the reins off of Roxy's neck to lead her out into the yard. Rex greeted them, wiggling with abandon as if he was in on the secret.

  *

  Ren swung her leg over Roxy's back and waited for Dane to do the same. He had paused, watching her over Maverick's saddle with an expression on his face she couldn't quite place. Every once in a while, she'd catch him staring at her. It wasn't unlike the period of time between the provisional custody they'd been given and the actual custody hearing, except during that time, she was convinced he'd been watching for signs that she would be packing her things and spiriting away in the night. It was different now, though. Less scared. Softer. More suspicious.

  "You gonna stand there looking at me forever?" She cocked a brow at him and gestured to Maverick, who was now nosing Dane's pocket, looking for a treat.

  Shaken from his reverie, Dane grinned. "Maybe."

  She laughed as he mounted up. Dane reined Maverick toward the gate to the back pasture.

  Exhaling deeply, Ren settled into Roxy's relaxed stride, riding knee to knee with Dane. She might not be as comfortable as the Baylors on horseback, but she was beginning to understand something Dane had told her in the early days about the outside of a horse being good for the inside of a man. She felt competent and safe with Roxy as a mount and she could almost feel the tension and stress of the last few weeks draining out of her arms and legs.

  She recognized the trail they were taking almost immediately and tamped down the nerves that fluttered in her stomach when they crested the hill and saw the live oak they'd sat under the day Anita had
taken Kerri and Gage. Dane reached over and slipped her hand into his.

  "I thought we should make some good memories here."

  The man had read her mind. She gave his hand a squeeze and let out a breath she hadn't realized would be shaky.

  "Don't worry, Ren. Finn is with the kids."

  They made it to the tree and dismounted, slipping the bridles off of the horses, who happily moseyed off to graze while they set up under the oak. Dane assembled a blanket, two glasses and a bottle of wine he'd produced from his saddle bags, then sat with his back against the tree, inviting her to slide into the v his legs made. She settled with her back against his chest.

  While leaving the kids alone did make her nervous, she was happy for this quiet time together. They'd had enough drama in the last month to fill a lifetime, and she was beyond prepared for the routine that school starting would bring.

  Dane carefully moved her hair to the side and pressed his lips to the sweet spot behind her ear. Her fingers, resting on his jean-clad thighs, tightened just a bit. She could feel the hot exhalation of breath and his features change as he smiled against her skin. He shifted, and then she saw him slide a flash of white gold and diamond onto one of those fingers. By the time he'd slid it home on her left ring finger, her hands were trembling so hard he covered them with his own.

  "I know you thought I was telling fibs to the social worker to sway him in our favor."

  Her heart was racing and a huge lump formed in her throat as she turned her hand over in his, examining the ring. It had a large diamond flanked by smaller ones in a curved channel setting of white gold. The ring was elegant, beautiful, and probably the most expensive piece of jewelry she'd ever seen, let alone worn. She wanted to take it off and tell him he didn't mean it. They'd told a white lie to the social worker to increase the likelihood of him letting Kerri live with them. That's all it had bee—a lie. But the ring on her finger wasn't a lie.