“Leave Brody to me. I’ll talk to him.”
“What about Natalie? Won’t this be hard on him?”
The smile slipped from my face. “He doesn’t remember her. He was so little. It’s not like I would let him forget about her, but neither of us can hold onto a ghost.”
“Can I ask…what changed?”
“What do you mean?”
She shrugged slightly, obviously embarrassed. I took her hand in mine, hoping that helped her.
“Whatever it is…just ask.”
“When I came back, you were different. I mean, you wanted me back in your life, but you looked at me differently. So, I guess I want to know, why now?”
“Before you left, you meant the world to me. Honestly, not even Natalie could have taken your place.”
“But she did.”
“In some ways,” I agreed. “But that was only because she was my girlfriend. I knew I couldn’t always choose you over her. And maybe that should have been my first clue…” I trailed off.
“Your first clue about what?”
I pulled out a stool and sat down. “Carter said that I’ve always loved you, but I chose Natalie so I didn’t have to risk losing you.” I let out a light laugh. “I don’t know if he’s right or not. There was so much shit going on back then, I’m not sure I really knew heads from tails. But maybe he was right. I mean, I did love Natalie, and that love grew a hell of a lot after you left. I’m sure if she had lived, we would have grown old together and been very happy. But now I wonder, if I was always supposed to be with you, what would have happened if I had never dated her? What if I had taken you out and…what if I had kissed you just one time?”
“We’ll never know.”
I shook my head. “No, we won’t.”
“So, why did it change when I came back?”
“The moment I saw you, it was like the pieces of my life fit together again. I know that sounds cheesy, especially for a guy to say. But you’ve always been such a big part of my life, I think when you left, part of me left with you. And then Natalie died and it was like there was nothing left besides Brody. Honestly, I think I’m doing a pretty shitty job on my own.”
“That’s not true,” she interjected.
“Yeah,” I laughed. “I’m pretty sure it is. But I’m doing the best I can.” I pulled her between my legs, settling my hands on her hips. “But you were there and I just knew I needed you, no matter how you would take me. And then I kissed you, and that was it for me. You’ve always had my heart.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m not saying I love you.” Her face fell, but I needed her to understand. “It wouldn’t be fair for me to tell you I love you. You just got back to town and we haven’t seen each other in so long. And I’ve already fucked up way too much. I’ve been married, I’ve lost my wife, and now I have a son to think about. And then there’s you, this amazing woman that I need by my side. It’s not because Brody needs a mother figure in his life, or the fact that I’ll eventually starve to death if I don’t find someone to make dinner for me.” She grinned at that. “I miss what we had, and I want that back. I won’t screw it up this time. I want to make sure that whatever we build together is strong enough to last.”
Leaning forward, she slowly moved her lips over mine. I wanted to take her upstairs and finally have the night we were meant to, but I had Brody with me. Groaning, I pulled back from her, resting my forehead against hers.
“Jack, I want so badly to be with you, but I’m dealing with some stuff and…”
“And what?” God, please don’t say you can’t do this.
“My head is so messed up. When I came back, between dealing with my old job and seeing you again, I’ve just been a wreck.”
I slid my hand across her cheek, cupping the back of her head. “I’m sorry. I never meant to make this harder on you.”
“But that’s not the point,” she continued. “I haven’t dealt with my issues, and I’m worried that it could somehow bleed into Brody’s life.”
“How?” I asked, not understanding her line of thinking.
“I don’t know, but he’s a little kid, and I don’t want to make this harder on him.”
“Brody’s pretty resilient.”
“I know, but—”
“How about instead of you trying to talk your way out of being with me, you tell me what happened.” Her cheeks flushed red and her eyes dropped to the ground. “Does this have anything to do with your nightmare?”
She nodded.
“Baby, I want to help you, but I can’t if you don’t tell me what happened.”
I was waiting on pins and needles. All sorts of scenarios were running through my head as I sat there, waiting for whatever she would say. Did someone hurt her? Was I going to have to commit murder? Because I would do it for this woman.
“You know I was a social worker.” I nodded. “I dealt with a lot of cases with abused kids.”
I already didn’t like the way this conversation was going.
“We’ve been way understaffed for a long time, but it’s been really bad lately. We were all picking up extra cases, trying to get to every family we could. My boss came up to me one morning with this new case. The police had already been out to the house, and they requested DCFS investigate further. We like to take an officer with us when possible, but it’s Chicago. They don’t exactly have officers to spare. So, I went on my own.
“The mother was antsy, very jumpy. I noticed fading bruises on her, but she wasn’t giving me anything. She allowed me to talk to her son, and he was just as bad. He was quiet and scared. He wouldn’t really say anything to me. The mom kept watching the clock, like she was worried. She finally told me her husband worked nights and would be home soon, that we had to leave. It’s a classic sign of abuse, to be so nervous about the husband coming home. I’ve seen it a lot before.”
“Could it be that she just didn’t want to be investigated?” I asked.
“That’s always a possibility. It’s not a fun process, and it makes people feel like they’re not good parents. And I would say that could have been the case, but this woman was terrified. I slipped her my card, and then I talked to the son. I told him he could always call 9-1-1 if he was scared, but that just made him tense up more. So, I gave him my card. I told him I would answer if he called.”
It was clear this case was hard on her, but I still didn’t know why yet. Still, I sat there patiently waiting.
“I finished up for the day and headed home when I got a call. I thought it was my boss or my mom. And then this terrified little voice came over the phone. When I walked out of his house that morning, I wanted to take him with me, but the law wasn’t on my side. There was no reason to remove him from the home, and the law doesn’t consider bruises to be an immediate threat. I should have taken him with me,” she whispered.
Rubbing my hand across my jaw, I waited, my heart pounding out of control. I had a terrible feeling about what was going to happen.
“He was crying and I heard this scream in the background. I told him I was going to call the police, but he begged me to stay on the phone with him.” Shaking her head slightly, tears slipped down her cheeks. “I saw a police car ahead and I sped up, honking at him. Luckily, he followed me to the boy’s house, but when I ran inside…”
She squeezed her eyes shut and I closed the distance between us, pulling her into my arms. It was even worse than I thought. I assumed the boy had died, but not that she walked in on the murder. I ran my hand up and down her back, trying to soothe her.
“Was the husband still there?”
She shook her head. “He showed up later, acting like he was just getting home. But I saw his eyes,” she said, pulling back. “I’ve never seen evil like that before.”
I ran my thumbs over her cheeks, swiping at the tears. My heart was breaking for her. Now I understood her screams. She must have been terrified.
“I’ll never forget the look on the mother’
s face. Her eyes were just staring sightlessly at the ceiling. And the boy…” She shook her head, her shoulders shaking as she cried. “I was too late. And I keep wondering if I should have hung up the phone to call the police. Would they have gotten to him in time? But he was so terrified.”
“Did you hear what happened?”
“No, at some point the phone went dead.”
“Listen to me.” I tilted her chin so she was facing me. “There’s no way you could have done anything. We both know the law. You couldn’t have taken him with you. It’s so sad that this boy lost his life, but it’s not on you.”
“Maybe not,” she cried, “but I didn’t help either.”
“Sometimes you can’t. You went out there immediately. This is not your fault.”
“I can’t sleep,” she admitted. “Every time I close my eyes, I see his face. No matter how hard I try to think of something else, his face is all I see. I wake up, terrified that I’m back in that house. I just can’t move past it.”
I couldn’t stand to see the tears on her face, but knowing that she wasn’t sleeping was tearing me apart inside.
“Then I’ll be with you to help you through it,” I promised.
“You can’t. You have Brody.”
“Let me worry about Brody. I’ll take care of it. I promise.”
She snuggled into my arms, burying her face in my chest. I still saw Natalie under that beam. I couldn’t imagine how she felt, walking in on a gruesome murder, and then seeing the man that killed them, and knowing you couldn’t do anything about it. I wanted to know if they’d arrested anyone for the murders, but tonight wasn’t the night to talk about it. I needed to take her mind off all of this.
26
Christy
He held me in his arms, pressing kisses to my cheek to comfort me. I had him back. I held him tighter, more grateful than I could ever imagine. I thought for the longest time that I would never feel his arms around me again, but now to find out that he wanted more…And to think, I almost let him walk out of my life. I didn’t really mean to accuse him of using me as a babysitter. I knew Jack better than that. But with everything that happened, all the emotions running through me, I blurted out the first thing that came to mind to get him out of my house.
And then I saw the heartbreak on his face when he called for Brody. I had hurt him when all he was trying to do was explain to me how he was feeling. And above all that, he still took care of my situation with Thomas, making sure that I was protected from him. God, I was such an idiot.
“I’m going to take Brody home to pack a bag, and then we’ll be back.”
Swiping at my face, I pulled back from him. “What do you mean?”
He brushed my hair back from my face. “Do you really think I could leave you alone after what you just told me? We’ll stay with you, for as long as you’ll have us, or need us.”
“Jack,” I rubbed at the ache in my chest. “You can’t just bring Brody to stay here. It’ll confuse him.”
“He’ll be fine. I’ll talk with him about it.”
“Maybe for one night, but you can’t stay here for days on end. He won’t understand what’s going on.”
“Like I said, let me worry about Brody. You have a guest room. He can sleep in there.”
“But what about you?”
“I’m staying with you,” he said firmly. “I…” An intense look crossed his face, like he was holding back. “I want to make sure you’re okay, but more than that, I want to be here with you.”
“What if he walks in on us in the morning? He’ll be confused.”
Sighing in frustration, he took me by the shoulders and guided me back to the couch. “You sit there. You watch TV or something. Relax, okay? I’ll talk with Brody on the way to our house and explain that we’re staying with you for a while.”
“A while?” I questioned.
“I’m sorry, do you think you’ll get over this in one night?”
“Jack, you can’t just uproot your whole life because I have nightmares.”
“This is not just about nightmares. This is you, not sleeping and waking up terrified out of your mind. And you think I’d just let you deal with that on your own? I told you, I’m serious about this. I’m not going anywhere.”
He leaned in and pressed a kiss to my lips. It was light and over before I even realized it happened. He called out for Brody and they were walking out the door before my brain could even process what had just happened. I slumped down on the couch and stared at the TV. Had this really just happened?
Realizing that Jack wouldn’t be gone long, I rushed upstairs and made sure Brody’s room was acceptable for him. Then I hurried into my room and changed the sheets quickly, tossing the dirty ones in the wash. Then I rushed through the bathroom to make sure it was clean. I started panicking. This was Jack and it shouldn’t be a big deal, but I was freaking out a little. We were barely speaking before, and now he was coming to stay with me. That was insane, but really sweet at the same time. I continued running around the house until I was sure it was as clean as possible. I shut the door to the third bedroom since it was just full of boxes. By the time I was done, I heard Jack’s car pulling into the driveway and Brody squealing as he ran toward the house.
I walked downstairs, trying to pretend I was totally calm about all this. Brody was so excited when he ran inside, tossing his backpack on the floor. But my eyes were all for Jack. He stared at me with this intensity that had me shivering inside.
“Christy! We’re staying with you!”
Tearing my gaze from Jack’s, I walked over to Brody. “I know! It’s so exciting!”
“Can we watch TV?”
“Buddy, remember what I told you.”
Brody’s head hung in sadness. “Yeah.”
“Come on. Let’s go check out your room and get ready for bed.”
Brody hopped down off the couch and followed Jack upstairs. I didn’t know what I should do, so I followed and watched as he got Brody ready for bed. They had this whole routine where Jack told him a story as they got in pajamas, and then he tucked Brody in and gave him a kiss. It was really cute. I backed away as he walked toward the door. He pulled the door mostly shut behind him and then leaned up against the wall opposite me.
“So…”
I swallowed hard, staring at him. “So.”
“Do you want to stay up later?”
I glanced down at my watch, noting it was only eight o’clock, but exhaustion swept through me and all I wanted was to go to sleep. Jack pushed off the wall and intertwined his hand in mine.
“Come on, let’s get you to bed.”
I blushed bright red at his wording. Remembering last night, I wondered if he would try something again tonight. I desperately wanted to feel him in my arms, to have that connection with him.
“I’m going to lock up, and when I get back up here, we’ll go to sleep.”
I swallowed hard, nodding at him. “Sleep.”
He smirked at me. “Just sleep tonight. I want to hold you in my arms, and I want you to get a good night’s sleep.”
He brushed his thumb over my cheek and kissed me again, pulling back just an inch. “Get ready for bed. I’ll be right back.”
I was tingling with excitement as I watched him walk out of the room. What was I going to wear to bed? Should I wear more or less? What was appropriate in a situation like this? On the other hand, it was Jack. When I used to stay with him in the past, I never worried about these things.
Grabbing my nightshirt, I headed into the bathroom and quickly cleaned up, brushing my teeth and my hair. By the time I was finished, my nerves were flying off the handle.
“You can do this,” I whispered to myself as I stared in the mirror. “It’s just Jack, the man you’ve always loved. And he wants to be here with you, so stop freaking out about this.”
I opened the door and put my dirty clothes in the laundry just as he walked into the room. His eyes roamed over my body, at my nipples pressin
g hard against the shirt. He wasn’t teasing me anymore. In fact, he looked like he was about to swallow his tongue.
I walked over to the bed and pulled back the covers, slipping underneath. Shaking his head, he grabbed his bag and headed for the bathroom. After a few minutes, the door opened and the light turned off. I heard him walk around the bed and slip under the covers. The bed dipped from his weight and then he shuffled closer to me, pulling me back into his arms. With his strong arm wrapped around my waist, I wasn’t sure I would be able to sleep. My heart was pounding out of control just having him this close again.
Slowly, he slid his hand down to my hip and underneath my shirt. His large palm slid up over my stomach and his thumb rubbed circles across my belly.
“Calm down. I can practically hear your heart beating out of your chest.”
“Is this your idea of calming me down?” I asked breathlessly.
“It’s definitely not doing anything to calm me down,” he grumbled. He shifted behind me and that’s when I felt him pressing into me, though he was trying to hide it.
“Jack,” I whispered, shifting back into him.
His muffled groan sent shivers through my body, making me tremble under his touch. His hand drifted higher, cupping my breast in his large hand. Then his thumb brushed across my nipple, making me instantly perk up. His lips brushed against my neck, his thumb brushing faster across my nipple.
“Oh God, Jack,” I breathed out. “I thought we were just going to sleep.”
“Is that what you want?” he asked, pressing against me again. “Do you want me to stop?”
“No, don’t stop,” I whispered.
His thumb moved faster, brushing back and forth. I could feel the wetness pooling between my legs.
“This is what I wanted for you last night,” he murmured against my ear, sucking the lobe into his mouth. “I wanted to give you all of this. I’m so sorry it didn’t happen.”
“Give it to me now.”
I rolled in his arms to face him.
Four Horsemen: A Small Town Romance (A Good Run Of Bad Luck Book 5) Page 22