The Stolen Breath

by L. G. Davis

“How dare you!” I slam my palms against the cool glass until Officer Randall pulls me away.

  “Don’t let her get to you. She’s full of hate.”

  “I want to talk to her.” I pull away from him.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea. We will question her again later to see if her story stays the same. I suggest you go home and get some sleep. You look like you need it.”

  The last thing on my mind is sleep.

  I beg Officer Randall again to let me speak to Madison, but he refuses. He ushers me out of the building before Madison exits the interrogation room. I sit inside my car outside the police station for a full hour in case Madison walks out. When she doesn’t, I drive home, replaying the interrogation in my head.

  If Madison was really telling the truth that she didn’t stay in my attic, then who did? One thing is for sure, I cannot stay at the house until I know. I no longer feel safe in my own home. I drive to a motel instead.

  Chapter 16

  After a lot of nagging from me, Anita has agreed to go to rehab.

  Since there’s no facility in Sarton, we found one in Swansford, a town of only ten thousand residents. It’s only a thirty-minute drive north of Sarton. The Tranquility Ranch is a gated community, and the facility looks more like a hotel than a treatment center.

  We get there before eight in the morning and get Anita checked in.

  Before I leave, she draws me into a hug. “I’m sorry for ditching you when you need me most.”

  I hold her face between my hands and shake my head. “It’s fine. I’m happy you’re getting the help you need.”

  With tears in my eyes, I hold her tight, wishing her hug could take away my pain. Only my daughter’s chubby little arms would ever be able to do that.

  I promise that I’ll visit again as soon as I can. Then I leave. My plan is to go put up more flyers in Swansford, since I haven’t been here yet.

  I sit inside my car for a while, staring at the whitewashed building, relieved that Anita has agreed to seek proper help. I’m also thinking that it might be best for her to stay in rehab as she would be safe from her ex-husband, Greg, as well. Surely, he wouldn’t know to come searching for her here.

  I’m about to turn the key in the ignition when I notice that Anita has forgotten her phone on the passenger seat. I reach for it and without thinking, I switch it on. The battery is almost dead, but it lights up.

  For no reason whatsoever, I tap on the messages icon.

  Greg had texted and called her non-stop during our drive to rehab. The funny thing is, I don’t find any messages from him.

  I don’t see any missed calls from him either.

  How’s that possible?

  Most of the times he called, she didn’t even answer. There’s no way she could have deleted them without me noticing.

  The only missed calls are from Kelly and an unknown number.

  But why did she feel the need to lie to me? Why did she tell me that Greg was contacting her when he wasn’t? There’s only one way to find out. I get out of the car with her phone.

  At reception, I ask to see Anita.

  One of the staff members escorts me to her room. She tells me to keep it quick since she’s scheduled to attend her first group meeting soon.

  When the woman leaves, I stand in the doorway and hold up Anita’s phone. “Hey, you forgot this.”

  “Oh, thanks for bringing it.”

  “Why did you lie about Greg trying to contact you?”

  “What are you talking about?” Her voice sounds strange and she won’t meet my eyes. She can’t fool me.

  “You said he was trying to contact you the entire time we were driving here. Then I look at your notifications, and there aren’t any. No messages. No calls.”

  Anita takes the phone and sits down on the small single bed. Her knuckles are white from gripping it too tight. “I’m sorry I lied to you.”

  “About what exactly?” I ask, folding my arms across my chest.

  “Greg... Greg hasn’t contacted me.” She drops the phone on the bed next to her.

  “Why would you say he did?”

  “I am weak, okay?” She lowers her eyelashes to cover her shame. “A few weeks ago, I walked past a liquor store and I just lost all the strength I’d built up over the last couple of months. When you found out, I made up a story that Greg was trying to contact me. I thought that would more than justify my falling back in love with booze.”

  “But Anita, you aren’t the first person to struggle with staying sober. And you quit cold turkey. It must have been even harder for you.”

  “I know. But I was ashamed.”

  I sit down next to her. “You never have to be ashamed around me. But I’m glad you’re getting help now.” I squeeze her hand. “I should go. I need to put up some flyers, and I want to get back home soon in case the police need me to go to the station. Officer Randall promised to let me know how the second round of questioning with Madison goes today.”

  It’s been two days since the first questioning and the police wanted to try again.

  “I’m sorry you couldn’t get the answers you needed from her.”

  “Maybe I will today. Hope is all I have left.”

  I give Anita another hug and leave. I drive through town and put up the flyers, occasionally showing the locals photos of Lea. No one has seen her.

  Devastated, I sit for an hour in the Swansford community gardens and stare at the ducks gliding on the sparkling, man-made lake. When a woman stops by my bench to ask if I’m all right, I can’t even bring myself to answer.

  When I finally leave the town, my heart feels hollow and shattered.

  Once I get back to Sarton, instead of heading to an equally empty home, I drive straight to the police station. Officer Randall meets me in his office.

  “I’m sorry, Mrs. Caswell. We had to let Madison Price go.”

  “I don’t understand. I thought you wanted to question her again?”

  “Yes, we did repeatedly, but turns out she has an alibi.”

  “What alibi?” My throat starts to close up. This can’t be happening.

  “Apparently, at the time that Lea disappeared, Madison was actually cleaning dishes in a diner. She wanted to make some quick cash.”

  “What if she’s lying to you? What if she really wasn’t?”

  “We gave the diner a call. She was there that afternoon. Several of the employees saw her.”

  My heart sinks. “I can’t believe this.”

  “I’m sorry, Mrs. Caswell. With no more evidence to go on, we had to release her. But we will keep looking for your daughter. We’ll also keep a close eye on Madison Price, in case she’s hiding something.”

  “Thank you, Officer.” I rise to my feet and walk blindly out of the station, tears pooling in my eyes.

  I’m not even sure how I make it home.

  I’m barely present as I push open the door and walk like a zombie to Lea’s nursery, where I grab a random stuffed toy from her crib and sink to the floor.

  I don’t remember buying this toy for Lea. It must be one of the many gifts she received from my colleagues at the hotel. It’s a green stuffed bean with black buttons for eyes.

  I bring the toy to my face and cry into it, searching for the scent of my daughter, imagining that my tears are coming into contact with the tears she must have cried when she was lying next to it in her crib.

  After what seems like forever, I look at the drenched toy and notice a zipper. I tug at it, thinking I should probably wash the cover. I expect to only find stuffing, but there’s a note. It’s a bit damp from my tears, but the writing is legible.

  Confess your one big crime or you’ll never see your little girl again. You will end up completely alone.

  The note flutters to the floor and air whooshes from my lungs.

  I was wrong about everything. I was wrong about Madison. She may have been obsessed with Lea, but she’s innocent.

  Everything that happened has to do wit
h my past. It has finally caught up with me.

  Fear grips me because I cannot talk to the police about this. I can’t take the note to them without exposing myself.

  As it stands, I’m the only one who now has the power to find my daughter. And the only way to do that is to return to Oakney, a town I left behind seven years ago. A town I thought I’d never see again.

  Chapter 17

  Seven years ago

  It was my birthday, and Tina, the girl who claimed to be my best friend in college, didn’t show up.

  I tried to reach her all evening, but she never answered my calls or returned them.

  After I’d blown the candles out, I excused myself and went searching for her.

  Tina’s luxury apartment was only a few blocks from my mother’s house. I lived alone because I had no family after my mother died, but Tina chose to live alone because she wanted her freedom.

  She lived in a building with five apartment units owned by her family. Her parents lived on the same street.

  I rang the bell a few times, but she didn’t respond. So, I walked around on the pavement, unsure what to do next, calling her phone a few more times. She ignored my calls.

  I stayed in front of her apartment for almost an hour in the chilly night air. Then finally I rang the doorbell again and she buzzed me in.

  She didn’t even ask who it was, because she already knew. She knew I would come.

  Inside the elevator, a feeling of dread suffocated me. Deep down, I knew something was wrong, or was about to be.

  Some things you know without really knowing.

  My breathing was labored when I reached Tina’s door. Thanks to my illness, I tired easily, but there was something else that weighed me down as well. I wished I knew what it was.

  I tapped my knuckles on the wood a few times and waited.

  She made me wait for five minutes. Just when I’d decided that it might be best for me to leave, the door swung open and she stood in front of me in a champagne silk kimono.

  In my knee-length floral print dress and strappy sandals, I almost feel underdressed next to her somehow. I push back my shoulders to appear confident.

  She gestured for me to enter.

  “Hi,” I said, keeping my voice even, giving nothing away. I knew how she liked me to be nervous around her. It made her feel powerful.

  Tonight would be the end of all that crap. I had finally figured her out.

  It took me a few months to realize that she was not my friend, even if she said she was.

  When I stood up for myself, when I showed her my strength, she got nasty. Even her outer beauty could not hide her ugliness.

  I closed the door behind me, facing the other way for a moment, my eyes closed. Then I faced her.

  “I invited you to my party,” I said. It was the first birthday party I had ever thrown for myself. I didn’t even know why I had invited her. I was not surprised that she didn’t come.

  I followed her into the spacious living room and watched her sit on the couch, drawing her knees up and covering herself with a white cashmere blanket.

  Her intense blue eyes pierced through me. “What do you want?” she asked, as if I didn’t ask her a question.

  “I tried to call you. You didn’t come to the party.”

  “I had better things to do.” She studied her French-manicured nails. They were perfect as always.

  She was always a picture of perfection. She never left the house without putting on her makeup and being dressed properly. I was quite the opposite. I barely wore makeup and my clothes could never compete with hers.

  I now knew that my only purpose as her friend was to make her stand out from the crowd even more.

  “Better things to do? You mean like being here all by yourself doing nothing?” I let out a bitter chuckle. “Tina, come on. Let’s be honest here. You didn’t want to come to my party because you hate it when someone else is the center of attention.”

  I thought back to the twelve months of our so-called friendship.

  A whole year and I was too stupid to see through her. I had felt so honored for her to call me her friend that I turned a blind eye to a lot of her crap.

  She would stand me up for no reason or do things that made me feel worthless and I’d brush it off.

  “That’s ridiculous,” she said, averting her gaze.

  “No, it’s the truth. You never wanted me to be your friend, am I right? You just wanted to use me.”

  Four months ago, I was diagnosed with kidney disease. When many people get such devastating news, they crumble. I cried for two weeks; then I decided to start over, to give myself a chance. Doctors gave me a year to live at the most, unless I was lucky enough to get a kidney.

  One single year. I was going to make it count.

  I shook off my insecurities and became the kind of person I’d always wanted to be.

  It was time people saw me instead of through me. I dressed better, walked stronger, and pushed my shoulders back. After walking with a hunch all through high school and most of my college years to try and make myself as small as possible, it was hard to train myself to walk straight. I succeeded, and the people around me started paying attention, including Rob Brendel, the hottest guy on campus and my secret crush.

  He asked me out a month after my diagnosis. Even though Tina thought he was only using me, I started dating him. He fell in love with me, the real me. In case I died, I wanted to know how it felt to love and be loved.

  “You’re being paranoid,” she scoffed.

  “And you’re jealous of me.”

  “How dare you!” Her lips took on an ugly sneer. “Get out of my apartment.”

  “Not before I say what I came to say.” I paused to take a breath. “You have been using me from the first day you decided to hang out with me.”

  “And you’re so full of crap.” She tightened her arms around her legs. “You’re nothing without me. Nothing. I made you. Those clothes you’re wearing, I gave you the confidence you need to look good in them.”

  “No, Tina. You gave me fragile confidence that you knew you could take away whenever you pleased. You gave me confidence so that you could break me again and derive pleasure from it.” I pressed my lips together. “But it’s over. We’re done with college in a few weeks. We can then go our separate ways.”

  She looked back at me and laughed. “You really think you will be something in the world without me?”

  “That’s exactly what I think.” I found the courage to sit down next to her on the couch, and she kept staring ahead as though I were still standing in the same place that I was before. “And I’m moving on with Rob.”

  “I don’t know what he sees in you. You’re going to be dead in a couple of months.”

  “Maybe. Maybe not. I’m on the transplant list. If I’m lucky, I’ll get a kidney or two and I’ll live a normal and happy life.” I can’t keep my lower lip from quivering. “And if that doesn’t happen, well, I might as well enjoy every moment as if it’s my last. I’ve wasted too much of my life already.”

  “You’re living in a fantasy world, Delia. That sickness will always be hanging over your head. The chances of you getting a kidney are slim to none.”

  I looked down at my hands and closed my eyes, squeezing them tight, trying to force her words from my mind. But you cannot un-hear what you’ve already heard.

  “I have a little secret to tell you.” Her mouth stretched into a thin-lipped smile. “Remember when I was tested to see if I’m a match?”

  I don’t answer. I don’t think she expects me to.

  “Well, I am. If I wanted to, I could give you one of my kidneys.”

  My mouth fell open. She’d been tested two months before. She tearfully told me she wasn’t a match. The doctor had confirmed it.

  I stared at her in shock. “Why would Dr. Stevens lie?”

  “Because I told him to. I didn’t want to hurt your feelings when I refused to give you a part of me.”

 
“Then why did you get tested in the first place?” I asked, stunned and sickened by her revelation.

  “Maybe I wanted to know how it would feel to have that much power over you.”

  “So that’s all it was, then? That’s all it ever was. Wow, you are a sick person.”

  “And you’re selfish. You think you can just steal Rob from me and move on with your life.”

  “He chose me. He was never interested in you, Tina. He doesn’t even care that I’m sick. He wants to make the most of our time together.” I paused. “Do you want to know what present he gave me tonight?” I held up my left hand and wiggled my fingers in the air, making the diamond ring sparkle. “He wants to marry me.”

  When Rob asked me, I thought the idea was ridiculous. I didn’t mind dating him, but us getting married and then me possibly dying from my kidney disease made me feel terrible. But I got swept up in the romance and eventually said yes.

  Tina’s face grew pale. For the first time since I’d known her, I felt as though I had the upper hand, as though I was controlling my own destiny and she wasn’t.

  “That’s a joke,” she said once she found her voice again. “Rob would never marry you. He doesn’t love you. I’m pretty sure it’s some stupid bet he made with his friends.”

  “You’re wrong,” I said, putting my hands back in my lap.

  Tina stood up and went to stand by the window, facing away from me, her shoulders straight, her signature braid hanging down her back like a rope. “You will call off the engagement.” She turned around.

  “You can’t ask me to do that.”

  “You will.” She didn’t say anything more as she crossed the room and headed in the direction of her bedroom.

  “You have no power over me, Tina, not anymore.” I stood up to follow her, watched as she found a paper and pen in a drawer and scribbled something on it. Then she gave me a smile that made me shiver. “Leave Rob and you can have one of my kidneys.”

  “No. Rob and I will be together for however long we have. You can’t keep us apart.”

  “Fine,” she said. “Have it your way.” She pushed her hand under the pillow on her bed.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”