Her Homecoming Wish
Page 23
“Was he there when I was born?” The little girl glanced toward the window that looked out on the house next door where her father was moving in.
“Like he told you... His name is Luke McCoy. And no, he wasn’t there.”
“Why? Where was he?”
“He joined the army and went away.” Shelby remembered her mother’s advice about answering questions and stopped there.
Emma clutched the bear tighter to her chest. “Did he have to be a soldier?”
She thought about how to respond to that because answers had nuance. “No. He went voluntarily.”
“How come?” Dark eyes—Luke’s eyes—stared at her, trying to understand.
“Well—” She wanted to be honest without negativity impacting a little girl’s opinion and future relationship with the father she’d just met. Words mattered and she chose them carefully. “He didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life. So he decided to be a soldier and serve his country while he figured that out.”
Shelby glanced at the doorway where her own mother now stood. The two of them had raised this girl together and she loved her, too. But she sent her a look, a warning to not say anything. Pam moved her head slightly, showing she understood.
Emma didn’t respond for a few moments, then finally asked, “Is he still a soldier?”
“I don’t know.” There was so much to take in she hadn’t thought about it. She had no idea what he did for a living, or anything else about him since the last time she’d seen him.
“Why don’t you know?”
Shelby knew her child, knew there were multiple questions layered into that single one. Her group of friends all had fathers who’d been around their whole lives. Emma was different and in her nine-year-old experience Shelby knew everything. So there had to be a reason she didn’t know this.
“Peanut, when I was expecting you, your father and I weren’t married.”
“How come?”
A billion reasons, but she wouldn’t understand any of them. Shelby came up with what she thought would be the easiest thing for Emma to take in. “I still had to finish high school and Luke, your father, had to go in the army because he signed a contract promising he would.”
She looked puzzled and her mouth trembled a little, an indication her feelings were hurt. “My friend Natalie’s father went away for work and he called her every day. She could see him on the computer. And he could see her. Maybe soldiers don’t have computers.”
Shelby couldn’t and wouldn’t let this be on Luke. It was all her and her mom. She glanced at Pam and saw the negative head movement. Nope, this time she wasn’t going to throw him under the bus.
She took a deep breath. “Baby, your father didn’t know about you. That’s why he didn’t call.”
Dark eyes grew wide. “You didn’t tell him I was in your tummy?”
“No.” Please don’t ask how you got in there, Shelby prayed.
“Why not?”
“I know you hate it when grown-ups say it’s complicated but it is. And you’re too young to understand all the reasons. So this is one of those times I have to say it. He had to go away. There was no way for him to get out of it. And I thought it would be easier for him if he didn’t have to worry about things at home.”
“You mean the way Karen worries about Buster when they go see her grandma and grandpa?”
Shelby smiled. “Buster is a dog so that’s a little different, but it was kind of like that.” Shelby watched emotions tumble and roll through the big, dark eyes and hoped this would be sufficient for now.
Finally Emma nodded and her expression brightened a little. “He lives next door now?”
“He’s going to fix up the house for his mother.”
“The lady who used to live there?”
“I’m not sure which one you mean because the house has been rented several times to different families. But your father’s mother owns it.” The woman who was her other grandmother. Shelby just realized this nightmare was like quicksand. For every step forward she sank a little deeper and felt a whole lot worse. “After he fixes it up he’s going to sell it for her.”
“That means he’ll move away, too?”
“Yes.” Shelby was pretty sure this conversation had moved beyond the past and was heading into “what do we do now” territory. “He wants to get to know you, Emma.”
“Really?” She suddenly sounded hesitant and looked uncertain.
“He made that very clear.” Along with the fact that he was mad as hell at Shelby.
“But you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” Pam spoke for the first time.
Emma toyed with her bear’s only remaining button eye. “I guess I want to see him, Grammy.”
“Are you sure, sweetie? You do have a choice.”
Shelby knew that tone in her mother’s voice. The one where the words were right but there was an implied warning, a hint that said don’t do it.
Shelby looked at her daughter and put all the reassurance possible into her smile. “You think it over, kiddo. If you want to see him I will make it happen.”
“Okay.” She stood. “Can I watch cartoons while I think?”
“Yes.”
Shelby stood, too, and watched her little girl walk slowly out of the room. Moments later faint noise from downstairs indicated she’d turned on the TV. This time she would make sure Emma didn’t overhear the rest of this conversation.
She moved close to her mom who was still in the doorway and kept an eye on the hallway. “Mom, he’s her father. He wants to see her and I won’t stand in the way.”
“Shelby, he’s trouble—”
“He’s an adjustment for her and for me. Not trouble. Not yet. I’m not sure what legal rights he has, if any, but I’m going to find out. At this point there’s nothing to be gained by backing him into a corner. The Luke I remember wouldn’t take it well.”
“We’ll get an attorney—”
“If she decides she wants to see him, Mom, I’m going to let her. I never want her to wonder about him. After that we’ll just deal with whatever happens.”
“I hope you know what you’re doing.”
“So do I.”
Copyright © 2020 by Teresa Southwick
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ISBN: 9781488069482
Her Homecoming Wish
Copyright © 2020 by Jo McNally
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
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