by Marie Hall
"Xavier, I have—"
"You have nothing, Io. I will not hear more about it. You will be a polite and attentive host. I should not have let you be free of this duty. It is one you will have often."
"Xavier, I—"
Xavier jerked them to a stop and swung her around to face him, "Another word, Io, and you will be sitting tender do you understand? You will not be pretentious. You will not build a reputation for haughtiness." He shoved her away then forced her hand into the crook of his arm and walked them stiffly into the brightly lit rooms.
Io couldn't think how she'd become the one being accused of such unflattering attributes. There was no one in the house as prideful as his mother and her friends. She was trying to figure it out when Xavier set her forcefully into a chair and shoved a cup of wine into her hand. She didn't drink wine he knew this. The look he gave her when she started to refuse made her stop and pull the cup close to her body in case loosing it would result in a thrashing.
She watched the other women take seats close to each other and Xavier settled into a large chair. From her place in the room Io felt they all sat in a tight circle and she sat outside it. She sat on the edge, not quite included. The feeling grew as she was forced to sit listening to them talk about life at court and people she never heard of. She was unable to participate in the discussion. The one time she tried asking a question the look of disdain silenced all further attempts.
The four others chatted easily. Often laughing and telling of joyous times and misadventures ending with humor. Io could perhaps add tales from other house. But they were not her stories and therefore only old gossip. Xavier didn't care for gossip.
Io sat excluded, unable to leave. She occupied the time thinking about tomorrow and the things she needed to do so she'd present a good figure when Xavier rode into the gathering with her by his side.
Sometime later Io heard Charlotte announce the hour was late and they needed to rest before all the activity tomorrow. Everyone stood and Xavier made a point of kissing his mother on the check and each of the other women had their hands lifted for a kiss in the air above their knuckles. The three moved off before Xavier finally turned to her. He looked relaxed but there was concern on his face when he took the still full cup from her.
"You were quiet." He frowned at the untouched wine before setting it on a small table.
"What would you have? All you spoke about were things I do not know, have never experienced." She forced the lightness to her voice.
He was quiet for the walk to their apartments but before they arrived he said rather matter of fact, "We will soon gain you those experiences."
Io snorted. There was no reason to comment. Xavier knew she'd no intention of attending court. He may well have to go and give tribute to his king, but Io had no plans to go. There was no one at court she cared to meet, no talent she could offer. She didn't even possess the needed manners and courtly behaviors. Xavier gave her a hard look but it passed as he ushered her into their private apartments and though to the bed chamber. Whatever disapproval he might have felt was gone completely by the time they'd undressed and climbed into the big bed.
Xavier took his time and they took each other into the realms of pleasure in a slow manner. Well sated, Io fell asleep without concerns.
Chapter Nine
Xavier shook his head as he closed his chamber door behind him. Io was already in the yards waiting for him. She'd risen early and slipped away to ready for the day. He hadn't seen her but he knew she intended to make an impression.
He too took care with his dress. Not because the festival was overly important but because Io thought it was. She'd for months put great effort into her plans. He wasn't sure why. She did nothing special any other time she went into the shires and villages. She never required anything formal when interacting with their people. For the lack of propriety Xavier found the people respected and trusted his wife with everything.
He'd just stepped off the final step when Master Crander approached. Xavier hardly saw Io's instructor. Usually only when he came to brag on how well Io was doing or to suggest what next lessons might be of interest to her. Today though the man wore an expression he hadn't seen since Io began lessons and Xavier felt his gut twist. He truly hoped he wasn't coming to say Io failed to attend lessons. It'd be the worst news. Xavier made the punishment for doing so missing the very next open day. Io would miss this day.
"Sir." The man bowed formally.
"Master Crander," Xavier sighed. He was going to say Io skipped her lesson. What he couldn't understand was why. She knew the punishment was absolute. He wouldn't grant her any concessions. That was the bargain they struck when they agreed on how much time she'd spend at lessons and how much time would be her own.
"My lord, you did not happen to give Io permission to forego lessons did you?" Even this man didn't want to Io to miss out. Everyone knew the price she'd pay and everyone knew how much she wanted this day.
"I did not." Xavier heaved a heavy sigh. The man before him shook his head sadly, "I will send her in to you."
"You could not wait until after the gathering?"
"Have you plans to attend to other things?" Were they both so eager to help Io get away with poor behavior?
"I do not my lord, but the lesson—" The man looked almost as pained as Xavier felt.
"She will be at your disposal today." And next time she'd remember all actions had a consequence.
"Yes, my lord," the man said heading off towards the rooms where lessons were held.
Xavier sighed and headed straight to the yards. It was never easier to find Io in the milling crowd of people and animals. She stood next to her little mare who like Io was dressed in her finest. He couldn't move for a moment when she turned caught his eye and smiled. She was breath taking every day but this day she was royal. He'd seen her that way one other time, the day they wed. It'd been the happiest day of his life and he rather hoped hers as well. He saw her smile slip and he realized she probably noticed he wasn't a happy man.
He took the steps slow wanting to delay what was going to be a huge disappointment for her. Damn, she brought this on herself. To miss lessons had only one punishment afforded Although he suspected if he told her she could choose between a severe thrashing and missing this event, she'd take the lashing. And he knew, too, that wouldn't have the effect he wanted. Her free time was something she prized, coveted, that was the very reason he took it from her when she missed a lesson.
He kept his eyes on her as he approached watching as her uncertainly grew and she looked around for the reason behind his agitation. She had to know he'd find out in time to prevent her from having her day. That she now seemed unsure of the reason he came at her with such purpose only furthered his disappointment.
All she had to do was tell him before she missed her lessons she needed to or she might. He could've either excused her or helped her complete the task keeping her from the lesson. But she hadn't done either. Now she'd feel the weight of ignoring this responsibility.
"Xavier?" She forced a smile but in her nervous state her hands came together and she began picking at her nails.
"Io, did you fail to attend lessons yesterday?" Xavier kept his voice low. There was no reason to bring shame down on her when missing this day would crush her. He was surprised though at the startled look on her face. Could she have forgotten about the lesson? He set that aside as a possibility. Io didn't forget anything ever. If she missed the lesson, she did it with intent at the worst, carelessness at the best.
"Of course, Xavier, I…" Her tone reflected annoyance taking him from disappointment to anger.
"Then you will go back into the house and attend it now." He held out his arm and pointed back to the interior.
Her eyes flared wide and then narrowed to mere slits. "I most certainly will not. Not when…"
"Io, you will now or you will be most sorry." He kept his voice low but the edge wasn't to be mistaken. When Io responded by turning from hi
m and trying to mount he was beyond surprised.
"No, I will not. Not when I tried…" She put her foot in the stirrup. She couldn't mount without the aid of a block or help; it wasn't hard to pull her down and turn her back to face him.
"I will hear no arguments. You will attend the lesson. You will not go to the festival and you will remember this next time you think to fail in one of your duties." He gave her a little shove towards the house.
"I am going. You cannot demand I not have this. I will not allow you to keep me from this when I did nothing wrong." She shoved him back, actually shoved him and again tried to mount.
Did nothing wrong? Did she think to give her word and then act contrary to it was in any way correct? Perhaps he needed to be firmer if she actually harbored such notions. His hand clamped down on her upper arm and he forcibly dragged her back to the house. He couldn't help notice the stares and gaping mouths. He tried to keep this private. Io was the one causing the public scene and he wasn't going to let up now that she'd thrown out the challenge. Io continued to resist making the scene shameful by digging in her heels and trying to pull free. When he didn't let go and continued into the house she actually began to pound on his arm with her fist trying to break his hold.
"Listen to me," she grunted with the effort to get loose his hold. "Listen."
"You listen," he snapped back. "You do not miss lessons, Io. We made an agreement and I will hold you to it no matter the excuse you think to have."
"No, you have to listen."
He swung her around to stand before him and gave her a hard shake. He considered, seriously, taking her over his knee but he hesitated, right up until she balled her fist and took a swing at his head. She swung so hard when he ducked away and she missed it sent her spinning. She tripped over the long skirts of her gown and landed hard in the dirt.
Xavier took hold of both her arms, jerked her up and then lifted her against his hip. He carried her inside with long, fast strides. Going only far enough in to find a bench, he took a seat dropping her down over his lap. Io let out a furious scream and fought like the devil to get free. But they both knew she'd lose the battle. He outsized her, and he'd far more strength than she. The vast layers of skirts were no issue; he had them up and over her head in a breath and in the next his hand landed full force in the center of her beautiful, white arse. Her scream was one of outrage and each that followed, the several hard smacks he delivered, was more fury than remorse. He put serious effort into the punishment. His hand fell fast and hard and Io's skin went directly from pale to apple red. He continued until the yelling changed from an outraged woman to a contrite wife, and then he placed ten very purposeful blows to the backs of her thighs.
He pulled her up and stood himself. He helped when the heavy skirts got hung on her shoulders but once he could see her he gave her a final hard shake. "You will go and attend your lessons, Io, and I will not have one more word from you." He gave her a shove in the direction of the interior of the house then turned not wanting to have to look at the utter distress in her expression. He wouldn't regret this. It was a matter of her making. She'd not fail in her duties and she wouldn't go back on her word, not as long as he had the power to insure it.
Xavier stormed back across the yard and straight to his own mount. He'd have everyone on their way before Io could think to try to come with. He mounted, spying a groom still holding Io's horse. He took a deep breath, blew it out and ordered the groom to return Wednesday to her stall. At the man's questioning look Xavier straightened and leveled a hard look back at him. "Return Lady Io's mount to its stall; she will not need it today."
He couldn't say what made him refer to Io in such a formal way. Perhaps because at that moment Lady Sabrina edged her mount alongside his. He couldn't help notice the woman wore a very elaborate gown, more than Io's had been, but the same color and her hair was done in similar fashion. This all served to irritate Xavier more. He wanted his wife beside him. But he'd be a good host and he'd make sure this woman enjoyed the day.
Xavier, however, would wait a long time before he enjoyed another.
* * *
Io sniffed and pulled her knees closer to her chest. She tightened her arms around them and tried not to think about anything at all. Thinking only made her realize what a bitter lesson she'd learned.
In the year she'd been in Xavier's care, he'd never failed to give her what she needed to live. Food, shelter, protection and usually his affection. Still Io resisted every wanting anything. Even though Xavier repeatedly promised he'd let her have anything if she but ask and it was within his power to give it to her.
She wanted this day. She wanted it with all her heart and she made that clear to him. She ensured this day would be everything she might hope for. That she'd allow the people to see who she was in Xavier's house. He hadn't been with her when she went into the shires. Her days when she was free, he was often conducting training or responding to correspondence. Today she wanted to change that. Today she wanted more than anything to walk through the crowds on his arm, to dance with him and to share a sip of wine from the same cup at the feast.
She knew the truth now, and she vowed to never want anything again. She could do that. She lived her life not wanting. It meant she lived never so disappointed as to be sick with it as she was now. She wouldn't be such a fool again.
The sky darkened and the smell of smoke flavored with different woods and meat floated in. She knew the feast was set to start after sunset and the more boisterous celebrations would begin. She wanted to be out beyond the walls after sunset. To have that little freedom she'd not enjoyed since arriving here. That too was lost and Io couldn't stifle the sob that slipped out. She dropped her head to her knees and gave in to the short fit of crying.
How had it happened? How could he betray her in this way? Hadn't he wanted to attend with her? Was he ashamed by her that he'd place her in such an impossible position? It'd been him who insisted she spend the evening in his company. He was the one who forbid her to attend the lesson. Worse he forced her company and then excluded her. Again she was excluded. Denied the one thing she wanted while he gave it to them.
The room grew darker as she cried for the loss and the hurt. She could think she cried for the pained seat she sat on but compared to how much her heart hurt, the bruises on her backside were minimal. And she knew she'd have to face everyone on the morrow when they returned. She'd have to listen as they recounted all the things they enjoyed that she missed because her husband couldn't be true to his word. Io called herself every kind of fool. She'd never have back that small hope she'd actually have things she wanted. He'd never make her believe again.
Startled by a knock at the door, she forced herself to be silent wishing whoever was there would go… then she cursed herself for hoping even as she swore she'd never hope again. The persistent knocking continued and Io unfurled herself and crossed the room. She paused long enough to wipe her tears and pull herself together before opening the door.
"Io," Master Crander greeted. "If you like we can do the lesson now and maybe you can join the festival. You could join the feast and the dance."
"I will do the lesson but I will not make the festival. There is no reason, no reason at all." Io crossed back to the table where her writing things sat and taking up a quill, parchment and her inkwell stepped into the hall.
"I am sorry my lady. I do not understand. You have been careful not to miss a lesson," the man said as he led the way to the stairwell leading to the roof of the tower so they could see the stars.
"I did not miss the lesson, Master. I was forbidden from attending," Io stated flatly.
"What? By who? Did you not tell Lord Brice?"
"I was forbidden by Xavier." Io didn't try to keep the sneer from her voice.
The man stopped short and turned to look at her. "I do not understand. If he kept you from the lesson, why did he say he did not excuse the absence?"
"I could think of one reason but I care not to have t
hat woman on my mind. Speak no more on the matter." Io's voice broke when she noticed the pitying look from the man responsible for her education. She brushed ahead of him. If he only knew how educated she was now. The lesson Xavier delivered would be the most useful one she'd receive. She'd avoid any more disappointment because of it. She'd never think to want again, at least not when it might actually matter.
Io completed the lesson as she always did with raves from her instructor and a nice chart of the stars to keep with her. This time she took no pride in the accomplishment. She couldn't care in the least if the skill of navigation was now hers. For all it cost her, she didn't ever want to look up in the night sky again. She returned her things to her chambers, went out to the gardens and climbed into the tree in the far corner. The branches had begun to bud in the slightly warming weather, but the night was chilled. Io huddled with her knees pulled close to her chest and her arms around them. Everyone would get back very late. No one would miss her. That thought brought back the tears. No one would miss her. No one missed her doing the menus, no one missed her at the table, no one missed her directing the duties and now no one would miss her not being in the house. She could want the people at the festival to miss her, but she refused to allow the hope to enter her heart. And she'd be a fool to think Xavier would miss her. She saw him riding out, Lady Sabrina next to him. He'd seemed very content in her company.
How did the hurt, Io thought she might be past, swell to the surface again? What was happening here? Could Xavier be regretting taking her to wife? Was her time here drawing to an end? She'd predicted this would happen. Xavier would wed her only to be shown a real lady and want her gone. Io shuddered. Did she now have to fear for her life? In the nearly two years she spent at the house of Delaney she saw the man take and then execute two wives. And while not actual executions he'd no qualms about bragging on how he arranged their deaths. He wanted to be rid of them. He wanted to move on to another woman. He wanted to stay in the good graces of the church, which, to Io's complete lack of understanding, could forgive his murders but not his divorces.