Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? On the Side: Sword Oratoria, Vol. 1

by Fujino Omori, Kiyotaka Haimura

  Cadmus Hide could be used to create nearly unbreakable armor, but it was also known to be a key ingredient for potent healing items. Considering its rarity and many uses, it was an item that mercantile familias would be willing to give their left arms to acquire as much as possible.

  “…It appears authentic and in pristine condition.”

  “It is. Well, then, what’s your offer?”

  “I would be willing to purchase this for seven million valis.”

  “Fifteen.”

  —Tione’s time to shine had arrived.

  Lefiya’s and Tiona’s eyes shot open in surprise. Even the aloof Aiz Wallenstein was slightly taken aback. Tione’s lips curled up in a grin, revealing the tips of her teeth on one side.

  Amid’s doll-like face remained stoic, but a shiver in her shoulders revealed her true feelings.

  “You must be joking. I’ll pay up to eight million.”

  “Amid. You said it yourself, this hide is in pristine condition. Just look at it—it’s gotta be one of the best ones you’ve ever seen. Fourteen.”

  A different kind of fierce battle had begun.

  The two “combatants” appeared to be calm, but the heat and intensity radiating from the two of them caused the other three girls to take a step back.

  “Wha—what are you doing, Tione?”

  “We’re under strict orders from our commander to ‘get as much money as possible.’ I’m not going to settle for anything less than decent.”

  “He said no such thing!”

  Tione was on a mission—to be complimented on her bargaining skills—and wasn’t about to back down.

  Her instincts as an Amazon set her spirit on fire from within. Not even the voices of her sister or an elf could reach her now. Aiz remained silent, calmly watching the events unfold.

  Amid didn’t break eye contact with her opponent even as Tione leaned forward and placed her elbows on the counter.

  “Eight and a half, nothing more.”

  “We nearly died trying to kill that dragon. We’d really appreciate you showing some appreciation for our dance with death. Thirteen fifty.”

  This was getting embarrassing…

  Tiona and the others knew the true story behind the Cadmus Hide and looked at the girl with varying degrees of distress.

  “…This is getting beyond me. Please be patient for a moment. I will consult with Lord Dian Cecht.”

  “Oh, then perhaps we should call this off? I don’t have much time and I can’t just wait around. So I think I’ll test the market, see what other familias have to say.”

  Amid froze in place. That reaction was exactly what the grinning Tione wanted to see.

  Aiz and the other girls appeared ready to abandon their ally to her fate. But it was the doll-like girl who sighed first. She had given up.

  “Would you be willing to accept…twelve million?”

  “Thanks so much, Amid. Where would we be without friends?”

  Tione grinned again, sounding as happy as a kid in a candy store. Amid sighed again.

  The short girl called two members of her familia over to the counter to help her prepare the amount owed.

  Lefiya looked absolutely terrified as Amid handed her a large sack filled with jingling gold coins.

  “Sorry, Amid…”

  “Think nothing of it. It was our quest that led to the situation in the first place.”

  Aiz inadvertently apologized to the short girl after the transaction had taken place. Amid grimaced but waved it off. “Both sides shall share in the pain,” she continued.

  Amid was both wise and kind. As a member of this familia, she had the job of healing adventurers. She was able to look past their differences and forgive Tione for the damage she had done to Dian Cecht Familia’s savings. She trusted Loki Familia.

  Aiz was unsure how to proceed; it would be difficult for her to purchase her own high potions and other items after what had just transpired. Eventually she worked up enough courage to ask. Tiona and Lefiya were right behind her, wanting to buy their own potions next.

  The doll-like girl saw the group out. She bowed deeply as the young ladies left the building.

  “Ahhh, it’s going to be really hard to talk to Amid next time…You went too far, Tione.”

  “Anything less and we wouldn’t have gotten what that hide was worth. Amid knows that.”

  “Another bothersome quest might be issued behind Miss Amid’s back sometime soon…”

  “Yeah, I bet! Their god’s way of getting back at us!”

  Carrying a large amount of money and their hefty reward, Tione’s group made their way farther down Northwest Main.

  It was still well before noon, but the number of adventurers on the main street had dramatically decreased. The morning rush to the Dungeon was over. Only townspeople and adventurers taking the day off were left. Even without their armor, it was easy to tell adventurers apart from merchants or artisans by how they carried themselves. Actually, most of them appeared to be enjoying a day of shopping.

  Many kinds of shops lined both sides of the wide street. Aiz listened to the Amazons’ spirited conversation—Lefiya could hardly get a word in edgewise—and took a look into each of the shop windows as they went by. Then the group turned off the main road.

  “We should get these home quickly. It’s scary walking around with this much money.”

  “…Tione, sorry but may I go to my weapons shop?”

  “Ah! Goibniu Familia’s place? I’ll go, too! I can’t use Urga as she is!”

  Tiona jumped in the moment that Aiz quietly asked for permission to go off on her own.

  Spares for expeditions were one-size-fits-all, off-the-shelf blades purchased by the familia. However, each adventurer had their own preferences when it came to what weapons they carried and paid for them themselves. After all, no one wanted to be using someone else’s blade when their life was on the line.

  Tione shrugged, knowing it was impossible to stop them.

  “Lefiya and I will take these back home. We get enough attention as it is. Let’s go, Lefiya.”

  “Ah, yes. Miss Aiz, Miss Tiona, until we meet again.”

  Tione carried the box of elixirs over her shoulder and Lefiya had to carry the bag of gold coins in both arms as the two girls split off from the group.

  “Shall we?” Tiona grinned at Aiz, who nodded back to her.

  Many types of familias resided in the world.

  Since Orario was known as the Labyrinth City, over half of the familias that called it home made their living in the Dungeon. However, groups like Dian Cecht Familia weren’t uncommon. There were even familias outside of Orario that had created kingdoms and empires of their own.

  The one thing each familia had in common was a constant desire to become stronger and more influential. Living on Gekai was a game to the gods, so it went without saying they were very competitive. Their arguments could result in full-scale wars. Their followers needed to be strong enough to either defend their territory or to discourage outbreaks altogether.

  Each familia’s activities reflected the interests and personalities of their gods.

  “It’s always so dark around here. That wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t so hot and humid.”

  “Ah, um…”

  “Ah-ha-ha, sorry, sorry. After you.”

  The two girls had arrived at a long, narrow stone building. Tiona opened the door for Aiz.

  They’d walked all the way to a district between North Main and Northwest Main streets. The roads were much narrower back here, small houses and random buildings crammed in as tightly as possible. It wasn’t exactly the liveliest place in the city. It perfectly suited the purposes of its residents, but most citizens of Orario shared Tiona’s opinion.

  Goibniu Familia.

  A familia composed of artisans and smiths specializing in weapons and armor.

  Despite being nowhere near as well known as their rival Hephaistos Familia, they could hold their own in terms of q
uality. The blacksmiths of Goibniu Familia prided themselves on simplicity and fortitude. Focusing almost exclusively on custom orders, they had developed a strong fan base among all levels of adventurers.

  The Goibniu Familia’s emblem, three hammers, was engraved into the door.

  “Anybody hooome?”

  “Home…”

  Tiona announced their presence as she closed the door behind her. Aiz echoed her, unsure of how to follow that. The entrance opened up to a wide workshop.

  The workshop was just as dim as the streets outside, the only light coming from the forge at the back of the room. Many tools designed for metalwork hung neatly from the stone walls. Several smiths were hard at work at their stations, the sounds of their hammers accompanied by the roaring of the flames behind them.

  “Welcome to…HUH?! AMAZON THE SLASHER?!”

  “Tiona Hyrute?!”

  “Um, could you not scream my title like it’s the coming of the Apocalypse every time…?”

  Every set of eyes in the room snapped up in horror as if a Dungeon monster had just come into their workshop. Tiona stared back at them, more annoyed than startled.

  The blacksmiths of Goibniu Familia dropped their tools and started rushing around in a panic.

  “Boss! The store crusher came back!”

  “Dammit, what are you here for this time?!”

  “I’d like to place an order for a new weapon.”

  “S-seriously?! What happened to Urga?! I had to work for days on end and used enough adamantite to break a horse’s back to finish it for you! A custom beauty!”

  “It melted.”

  “NOOOOoooooooooo!”

  Ignoring the other blacksmiths’ screams of terror and cries for their boss, Aiz walked in the other direction and into a side room next to the workshop.

  An elderly divine being was inside.

  Nose high on his thin face, the short yet robust deity looked like a hawk. White hair hung down just below his ears, and his dignified silver beard was thick enough to hide his mouth. Physically, he resembled a dwarf more than a human.

  He, Goibniu, was hard at work polishing a dagger in his hands. Sensing the girl’s presence, he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye and said, “What is it?”

  “I came to ask for repairs.”

  All orders from Aiz went directly through the deity himself.

  Whether Goibniu had taken an interest in her, she didn’t know. In any case, he gave her strict instructions to always come to him first.

  “…At it again, I see.”

  Aiz handed the god Desperate. Slowly drawing the blade from its sheath, he didn’t take his eyes off the blade as he spoke.

  A Durandal, the blade would never break. It did, however, need to be sharpened to avoid loss in cutting power.

  Under normal circumstances, this kind of weapon wouldn’t need any serious maintenance. Unfortunately for the sword, Aiz Wallenstein wasn’t a “normal” adventurer.

  “The blade has taken serious damage. What did it cut?”

  “Monsters that spewed a corrosive purple acid—many of them…”

  The God of the Forge spoke slowly, carefully as he examined Desperate, but he said nothing else. Aiz wasn’t the type to carry on a conversation, either, so both stood there in silence.

  Goibniu finished the diagnostic on the lackluster blade and looked up to face Aiz.

  “Restoring the cutting edge will take time. I’ll provide a replacement until then; use it.”

  Goibniu’s declaration caught Aiz off guard. She had fully expected to be told to prepare her own substitute.

  He sensed the confusion in her eyes.

  “Most blades wouldn’t last a week in your hands. Accept my offer.”

  “…”

  Unable to refuse, Aiz gave in to his forceful suggestion.

  Goibniu got up from his stool and disappeared into another room. A long rapier was in his hands when he returned. The blade was thin and had almost no decorations apart from a knuckle guard attached to the hilt.

  Aiz took the weapon from the deity’s outstretched hands and drew it from its sheath.

  Marveling at the detail in her reflection coming off the blade, Aiz could tell that many hours had gone into crafting this work of art.

  Most likely, it could inflict even more damage than Desperate.

  “I’ll set ’em to work right away. Return in five days.”

  “I understand…Thank you.”

  With his Arcanum power sealed, Goibniu was no different from an average man, with the exception of his skill as a blacksmith. He needed his followers to complete this task. Aiz made a short bow before leaving the room. The god returned to working on the dagger even before she disappeared through the open door.

  This was how their interactions always went—always to the point. Aiz returned to the workshop with the rapier in her hands. The blacksmiths were still talking with Tiona, each of them on the verge of tears. The Amazon turned to face the human girl, smiled, and the two of them left the workshop.

  Attaching the sheath to her waist, Aiz felt that the new weapon was just a little bit heavier than her favorite saber.

  It had become a Loki Familia tradition to celebrate after expeditions at the bars around town.

  It was Loki’s way of showing her appreciation to her followers; most of them shared her appreciation for a stiff drink. It was one of the few times that the adventurers could really let their hair down.

  The sun had already set by the time Loki Familia was finished with their errands. The eastern sky was completely dark when the adventurers who took part in the expedition left home. Those who hadn’t ventured into the Dungeon with them watched with envious eyes as the group of about thirty walked out the front gate toward West Main Street.

  The major difference between the Northwest District and the West District was the number of average people who called it home.

  Since Orario was the world’s only source of magic stones, it needed to have a strong workforce to produce magic-stone products. The Guild had gone to great lengths to lure as many people as possible to the city to fill those jobs. Most had settled in the Northwest District.

  Everything that they needed to raise a family and live out their lives comfortably without joining any familia was located here.

  It went without saying that they needed a place to blow off steam just as much as the adventurers. Bars and hotels lined the main street. Many men came all the way here for a chance to meet a simple, girl-next-door type of young lady.

  “I don’t come up here often, but it’s kind of nice. Calm, stable. I could get used to this.”

  “Yeah, Northwest Main Street has so many adventurers. This is much better.”

  The Amazonian twins chatted between themselves as the rest of the group felt a little out of place, since no one was wearing any armor or carrying weapons.

  Hardworking artisans enjoyed many delicious types of alcoholic drinks, and young women called out to the crowd on the street to draw in potential customers. A fearless-looking adventurer made a pass at one of them. She rejected him right away and the two started snapping at each other. A few men from inside the bar came out to see what the commotion was…and challenged the young adventurer to a drinking contest. Holding jugs of ale in both hands, the men downed their drinks as fast as possible as more people gathered around to watch. Soon, all were drinking, laughing, and enjoying the night.

  The streets were illuminated by magic-stone lamps lighting up what just transpired as well. Tiona and Lefiya smiled at each other as the adventurer and the three men went into the bar, drunkenly laughing like brothers.

  “Mama Mia! We’re here!”

  Evening had turned to night as Loki led her followers to one of her favorite watering holes. A group of waitresses rushed out to greet them as soon as the deity called out the owner’s name.

  They had arrived at The Benevolent Mistress, the largest bar on West Main Street. Every employee at this bar was female,
all wearing the same waitress uniform. Aiz and the others knew this was the reason that Loki liked this place so much.

  “We have tables prepared for you inside and on the terrace. We apologize for the inconvenience.”

  “Ahh, not a problem. Thanks.”

  The Benevolent Mistress had a café terrace.

  Loki had made reservations, but a group this large wouldn’t all fit inside the bar. A very polite elf explained the situation and the group separated into two, one going to the terrace and one going inside the bar.

  Aiz joined the group being led inside.

  “Hello there!”

  Every seat was full. The table they’d reserved seemed like an unnatural hole in the middle of this mass of humanity. Other customers had the same idea as Loki. Several young men looked at the young waitresses with distant eyes, wishing they had the courage to approach them.

  They had good reason to be cautious. These waitresses were cut from a completely different cloth from the girls outside. Any kind of physical advance was met with swift retribution. Loki’s cheek was already red from a catgirl’s slap.

  The decor was mostly wood. It was much easier for customers to relax in here than in most other bars.

  Magic-stone chandeliers hung overhead. The owner preferred a fancy, modern style.

  “The food here is so good. I accidentally eat too much every time.”

  “More like ya eat everything in sight…”

  Suddenly every set of eyes in the room was on Loki Familia. Other adventurers sat in awe, the color draining from their faces. None of the top-class adventurers cared as they made their way to their seats.

  Aiz could feel the pressure of all the eye contact on her face, but her expression didn’t change.

  She was used to being the center of attention.

  “…?”

  One of the stares felt different to her.

  She couldn’t put it into words…It just felt like it was directed straight at her. But it was harmless.

  She wanted to figure out where it was coming from, but Tiona and the others were starting to get excited. Aiz decided to ignore the strange feeling and sat down at the table.

  “Yes-sa! Great job in the Dungeon, people! Time to cut loose! Drink up!”