Chapter Seventeen
I HAVE BEEN CALLING Alec for days with no response. It isn’t like him not to call me back and I know that it has everything to do with Emma. I wish that he wouldn't let whatever is going on with them affect our relationship in the process.
To say I’m surprised to see him walk into Vitos right after eleven is a huge understatement. For one, he seems completely out of place. His dark suit and intimidating demeanor gives him an untouchable look as he takes a seat next to me at the bar and orders a drink without even looking at me.
Jake seems to pick up on the fact that I know him, given the way he raises his eyebrows and flashes his eyes from Alec to me. Whether it be that we look a great deal alike or that he plopped down in the seat right next to me when the rest of the bar is empty, Jake doesn't miss the connection.
“Anything else I can get you?” he asks, placing a bottle of beer on a drink napkin in front of Alec. Alec shakes his head and takes a long drink, draining half of the contents in one swallow before turning his attention to me.
“So this is where you’ve been working?” he asks, his voice giving away his obvious dislike for my choice of establishments to work at.
“It is.” I take a small drink of my water. Considering Alec is the only customer in the bar, I have yet to take the stage, even though my shift started over an hour ago.
“Is there a reason you felt like you needed to lie to me about it?” he asks, spinning in his stool to face me. I turn my head toward him and give it a slight shake.
“No, I didn't tell anyone. Obviously, a couple of people know now, but I didn't want the added pressure of people I know coming in to see me. It's hard enough getting on stage in front of complete strangers,” I say with a shrug.
“Or no one at all?” His tone lightens as he looks around the empty bar.
“Yeah, this is the deadest we've been since I started here. Makes for a slow night,” I say, trying to make casual conversation when all I want to do is ask why the hell it's been nearly a week and he hasn't returned one of my phone calls.
“I owe you an apology, Grace,” he says after a long moment of silence. “I should have never let things with Em get as far as they did. It wasn't fair to her, or to you. I know that I have probably made things extremely awkward for you.”
“Have you talked to Emma?” I turn toward him.
He seems confused by my question and it takes a few seconds for him to answer.
“No.”
“Then you are wasting your time here.”
“What?”
I breathe out an annoyed sigh.
“Look, it's clear that you have feelings for Emma. Hell, even I can tell that just by you sitting here. You’re a mess. Look at you. Your suit jacket is wrinkled, your hair is disheveled, and it has been at least five days since your face has seen a razor. You've been hiding out, burying yourself in work so that you don't think about her. Don't try to deny it, Alec Morgan. I know you better than you think,” I state, having a bit of an advantage by the fact that Zayne has kept me posted on how Alec has been doing, considering that he wouldn't return my phone calls. “Emma is my best friend and right now she is off chasing her dream. She should be over the moon with happiness. And yet, she's miserable. And that, well, that is entirely your fault.” I don't try to hide my irritation in my voice.
“My fault?” he questions, for the first time his own voice rising with defensiveness. “How is it my fault? I was very up front with her. She knew it would never go anywhere.”
“Why?” I ask, cocking my head to the side.
“Why?”
“Yes, Alec, why? Emma is amazing. You are out of your mind if you let someone like her slip through your fingers and you know it. You may have started this relationship, if that's what you would call it, with the understanding that it would never be more. But somewhere along the way, Alec, it became more, for both of you. Emma has admitted it. Now can you?”
“Grace, I...” I cut him off, my hand flying up between us.
“I don't want to hear any excuses, Alec. Either you want her or you don't. Either you can live without her or you can't. The only issue I have is with the way you let Emma leave. You need to make things right with her before we will be okay. I love you, Alec. For years you have been my rock. The one person who has always protected me. But you don't have to protect me anymore. You're not Dad and I never asked you to be. You need to stop worrying about me and how things will affect me and live your life. If Emma makes you happy then I’m happy for you. That's all I have ever wanted. For both of you.” I take a deep breath, trying to calm the sudden emotion clogging my throat. “But you hurt her, Alec, and that hurts me. Be with her, don't be with her. Whatever decision you make, I will support, as long as you make the decision for you and not anyone else.”
He studies my face for what seems like forever but is likely just a few short seconds. I can't tell if he's surprised by my reaction or if he's trying to figure out if I’m messing with him. Either way, it's apparent that I have thrown him for a loop.
“Who are you?” he asks, a slow smile pulling up his face.
“Grace Morgan,” I joke, laughing when his small smile turns into a full blown one. “Now, why are you still here? Go!” I say, shoving his shoulder. He sways from the contact and then turns back to face me.
“Grace, what if she won't forgive me?” My heart swells at his question. And suddenly, everything that Zayne said seems to be unfolding right in front of my eyes. He does love her. It's so clear to me now.
“Trust me, you have nothing to worry about.” I smile. “Now go, shoo.”
“Thanks, Gracie.” He downs the rest of his beer before placing a brief kiss to the top of my head. “Love you.”
“Love you too.”
He gives me a nervous smile before pulling his cell phone out of his suit jacket. With one final nod, he puts the phone to his ear and turns, exiting the bar in a matter of seconds.
“Who was that?” Jake asks, startling me. I turn to find him leaning against the bar in front of me.
“My brother.”
“Okay, so did I get all this right... He's in love with your best friend and thought you were mad that they have been seeing each other secretly, but really you're only mad because he fucked up and let her leave? And he came here to make things right with you but you surprised him by telling him the only way to make things right with you is to make things right with her?” He gives me an exasperated look.
“Yeah, I think that about covers it.” I smile. “You're very good at eavesdropping.”
“And you, well, all women in general, are both surprising and confusing as hell.” He laughs.
“I'll take that as a compliment.”
“It was meant as one.” He gives me a dimple filled smile before making his way to the other end of the bar to greet an older gentleman and his much younger date that just walked in.
I take one last drink before making my way to the stage. I may only have two customers to play for, but anything is better than sitting here and watching the minutes tick by.
Besides, I’m very anxious to find out from Emma what Alec says, and knowing that conversation won't happen until tomorrow at the earliest, I need to take my mind off of everything and lose myself in the music for a while. While I may have been opposed to Emma and either of my brothers being together, in the end, it’s not really up to me.
Taking a seat on the stool in the middle of the stage, I prop my guitar across my lap. I can't help but smile as my fingers graze the guitar strings. Knowing that I may have helped bring Emma and Alec happiness gives me an almost giddy feeling and I can't help but start strumming out a love song that reminds me of them, and of me and Zayne.
In a weird way, we have all found ourselves in similar situations. Suddenly, the urge to come clean to Alec takes on a whole new level of importance. If Alec knows, if I can make him understand, then Zayne and I would be free to be together.
No secrets, no ex
cuses. For the first time ever, it could be us. Nothing standing in our way. The idea is both terrifying and liberating and as the lyrics of “All of Me” by John Legend start to fill the near empty bar, I find myself with a newfound determination.
I love Zayne. Maybe I haven't admitted that to him yet, but I have known it for a while. Maybe even from the very beginning. My life has not been the same since my eyes locked with his for the first time and every moment since has been an unbelievable roller coaster ride.
I don't think I have ever fully accepted that I could really obtain a man like Zayne, let alone keep him. But now, suddenly anything feels possible.
Because I don't just love him like a girl loves a boy. I love him the way a woman loves a man. I love him in a way that can't be compared to what I had and what I lost. The love I feel for him is in a league all its own. It's consuming and terrifying, yet it's all I want.
And as each lyric leaves my mouth, the more truth each word holds. In a world where nothing ever works out the way it should, maybe just maybe, this time it will. Maybe life isn't always about sadness and loss. Maybe happiness can be found and sustained.
I think about my dad. How much my mom loved him, yet she found the strength and the courage to love again. And then Becca, who she recently confided in me that she was abused by her uncle and swore to never trust a man again. Even she found love in Jake, who taught her how to trust and that love really does exist.
My love for Kyle will never fade. He will always hold a piece of my heart. A small section deep in the center will always belong to him. No time or person will change that. But that doesn't mean that I don't have so much more left to give.
IT'S BEEN NEARLY A month since Emma left, and while her frequent phone calls keep us connected, I miss her a little more with each day that passes. Things seem to be going really well for her and even though I’m green with envy, I’m also thrilled for her.
Alec and her have yet to make any kind of real commitment to one another but from what Em tells me, things are going well. They talk every day and apparently have made plans to meet up at certain tour stops along the way. Most of the details of their relationship she keeps to herself, and I’m thankful. While I may have accepted that she is kind of dating my brother, it does not mean that I need to know everything.
Neither one of them will say it, but I get the feeling that this thing between them, well, it's life changing. I recognize it because I’m experiencing something very similar, and with each day that passes, my love for Zayne grows more and more.
With Em gone and Carver working crazy hours, it leaves me with way too much time to myself. Becca and Jake have been amazing, but I can tell even they would like some alone time. So these last few weeks I’ve spent a lot of time exploring the city and scoping out quiet places to write. Well, during the day anyway. Most nights I end up at Zayne's or he visits me at Vitos after work.
“Earth to Grace.” Carver laughs.
I shift my position on the couch and look back at him with a warm smile. I rarely see him anymore and it's ridiculous how much I miss him considering that we live together.
“Seems like the wheels were really turning there. Everything okay?” he asks, dropping his work bag on the floor before throwing his keys on the island.
“Yeah, just writing,” I say, holding up my notebook. It has pages and pages of useless notes and scribbles, but I’m convinced that a bestselling novel or a number one hit song is hiding in there somewhere.
“Anything interesting?” He crosses the living room before plopping down next to me on the couch. I close my notebook and cram it into the side of the cushion before he makes a grab for it.
“I'm working on it.” I smack his hand away with a laugh. He pouts out his lip in the most adorable way, tearing another laugh from me. “I'm not letting you read it, Carv,” I say, shaking my head at him. “Besides, the pouty face only works on Em, but good try.” I pat his leg.
My phone starts ringing from its spot on the kitchen counter and for a moment, I consider ignoring it, but curiosity sets in and I push myself off the couch, grabbing my notebook before making my way into the kitchen to answer before the voicemail picks up.
I don't recognize the number, which is not that uncommon, so I slide the screen and accept the call. “Hello.”
“Hello. May I please speak to Grace Morgan?” a woman asks, her voice both polite and professional, with a hint of southern drawl to it.
“This is Grace Morgan,” I say, not really sure who I’m talking to.
“Hi, Grace. My name is Hannah Bower and I work for Fischer Literary Agency. Is now a good time?”
“Yes, of course.” I try to keep my voice even but my heart suddenly feels like it's beating in my throat.
“Wonderful. I received a sample of your manuscript from a work colleague and I must say, I am very impressed with the material I was given. I would love to have the opportunity to read the full manuscript if you have it available.”
I run through the proper things to say but I come up short. I’m at a complete loss for words. She wants to read my full manuscript. This seems too good to be true. And then suddenly I realize something. I never submitted my manuscript to this agency.
“I'm sorry, but how did you say you received my sample pages?” I ask, praying I don't come across as unappreciative or rude for that matter.
“The owner of Fischer Literary Agency, Todd Fischer, received it through a business associate. He passed it onto me yesterday and asked me to take a look at it and I must tell you, Grace, I loved what I read.”
I know without asking any further questions that Zayne is somehow behind this. For a moment, I consider refusing to do any business with her out of sheer spite but knowing I could never walk away from an opportunity like this, I take a moment to consider my options.
“I would love it if you could send me the full manuscript. You can email it to me and hopefully I can get back to you in the next few days.”
“Okay, yeah that would be great,” I stutter, a bit in shock.
I grab my pen and notebook off of the counter next to me and quickly jot down her information. After promising to get it over to her today, I hang up, still not entirely sure if that actually just happened.
I drop my phone onto the counter and look over at Carver, who is looking at me with wide eyes and a large smile.
“She's interested in my manuscript,” I say slowly in disbelief. “Oh my god, Carv, she's interested in my manuscript!”
I sprint into the living room and jump into his lap, my arms flying up around his neck.
“I am so proud of you, Gracie,” he says into my hair.
While I’m thrilled to share this moment with Carver, there is one other person that I need to speak to. One that I’m not sure if I’m going to kiss or punch, that part is still up for debate.
I ARRIVE AT ZAYNE'S house right after seven, having tried his cell phone multiple times with no response. If it were any other day, I would simply wait for him to call me back, but my anxiousness and nerves over this entire book situation would not allow for it.
I need to know what he did and how.
I punch in the code to his front door and let myself in. Though he told me I was welcome here anytime, this is the first time I have shown up unannounced and honestly, I feel like I’m trespassing or something.
“Zayne?” I call out, not really expecting a response so I'm not surprised when one doesn't come. He's no doubt still at the office and I knew that coming here, but I’m so full of energy I thought it would be easier to wait here. As I wander his empty apartment, I see how wrong I was.
I’m about to leave and come back later, when I hear the lock click and the door open. Zayne walks in, not spotting me in the shadows of the living room. He throws his keys down and pulls his phone out, scrolling through the screen.
A smile lights up his face and he clicks something on his phone and holds it to his ear. Immediately, my phone begins ringing in my jeans pocket a
nd echoes through the silence. We both jump simultaneously and then, realizing that I’m here, he drops the phone onto the counter and stalks toward me.
“Why are you hiding over here?” he asks, reaching out and pulling me into his arms.
“Sorry, I... I didn't want to startle you,” I say, momentarily forgetting my purpose for being here and losing myself in his arms, his touch.
“I missed you.”
“I missed you too.”
“Is everything okay?” He steps back.
“How did you get a copy of my manuscript?” I ask straight out, knowing full well that I have not given it to anyone, including Alec.
“What?” He seems caught off guard, which makes me wonder if maybe I jumped to conclusions.
“A woman from Fischer Literary Agency called me today. Said her boss received sample pages of my manuscript through a business associate and passed them along to her.” I pause, hoping he will jump in and explain, only he doesn't. He stands there, arms crossed in front of him with the cutest damn smile I think I have ever seen.
I melt a little under his loving stare but refuse to let him distract me.
“It was you, wasn't it?” My hands instinctively go to my hips.
“I may have played a small part,” he admits, his smile only growing wider.
“How did you get a hold of my manuscript?”
The thought of him seeing it, reading it, causes a sick feeling to form in the pit of my stomach. I know that someday, hopefully, I will put it out there for the world to read, but it's not ready, not by a long shot, and I don't want anyone reading it until it's perfect. Especially given how personal it is to me.
As if somehow sensing my dilemma, he takes a step back and leans against the arm of the couch.
“I didn't read it if that's what you're worried about.” The smile fades from his lips.
“How did you get it?”
“I called World Lit. You had mentioned it was one of the places you sent your manuscript to. I talked to one of the assistants there, and after some convincing she agreed to forward the pages to me.” He says with no other explanation.
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