Chapter Sixteen
“CAN WE TALK?” EMMA leans against the doorframe of my room. Having just finished showering, I’m only wrapped in a towel, but I guess now is as good of a time as any.
I nod, gesturing for her to come inside as I quickly slip into my underwear underneath the towel and then toss it on the floor to throw on a pair of jersey shorts and a gray tank.
Emma flops down on my bed and waits until I’m dressed and have joined her before she finally speaks.
“Grace, I am so sorry. I didn't mean it. Not one word. You know how whiskey affects me and I had way too much. I was mean and repulsive and oh god, Grace, can you ever forgive me?” she asks, tears immediately filling her eyes.
“Of course I forgive you. Besides, I think some of what you said is true and I needed to hear it. I just don't want you to ever feel like somehow I’m playing off of Kyle's death. I would never do that, Em.”
“I know, I know. That was way out of line for me to say. I was angry and I wanted to hurt you. In my drunken state, I blamed you for Alec's reaction to me confessing my feelings to him and for that, I can never apologize enough.” She turns to face me. “Grace, you have been my best friend for my whole life. I never want to hurt you or keep things from you. Please understand, Alec just kind of happened. I didn't go looking for it. I didn't want to fall in love with him. But I did, Grace. I fell in love, like for real.”
I know how huge this is for her. Em gets bored quickly. This is the first time she has ever claimed to be 'in love' with someone and honestly, I know she means it.
“I'm happy for you, Em.” I reach out to take her hands in mine. “If there are two people in this world that deserve true happiness, it's you and Alec. If you can give that to each other, then I’m thrilled that you found it.”
“I'm sorry I kept this from you,” she starts, but I cut her off.
“Don't apologize. If anyone should apologize here, it’s me. I lied to you about Zayne and then was so caught up in him that I didn't even realize that you and my brother were hanging out, let alone an item. Looking back, I can see the signs were there but I was too preoccupied with my own life to notice. I haven't been a very good friend to you, Em. I'm sorry.”
“You are an amazing friend, Gracie. I'm sorry if I made you feel anything other than that. I love you. You are my family.” She throws her arms around my neck, pulling me into a hug.
I wrap my arms around her small frame and squeeze her tightly. “You're my family too,” I say, releasing her. “Now, tell me all about last night. What happened with Alec? But no sex details please,” I say, smiling playfully at her.
“I wish I had some.” She sighs. “He was so furious with me for the way I talked to you. He barely said two words to me on the car ride to his house. He put me in bed, told me to sleep it off, and when I woke up, he was gone. I think I really messed up.”
“He probably needs time to think. I know it's easier said than done but try to stay positive. He came for you last night. That has to mean something.”
“It doesn't matter now anyway. I'm leaving in six hours and will be gone for months. I don't know what I expected to happen, but I had hoped... I don't know, I had hoped that I would be leaving under much different circumstances.” Her shoulders sag in defeat.
“How much do you have left to pack?”
“I'm done. I spent all morning in there, avoiding you mostly, but I managed to get everything packed and ready to go.”
“Then what do you say we get out of here? Let's go have lunch, wander the city, say one last farewell before you leave to chase fame.” I push off the bed.
“I think you read my mind.” She stands. “I'm really sorry... again.”
“Don't mention it again. Besides, what are best friends for if not to be punching bags when you are drunk and in desperate need of a justifiable breakdown?” I say, wrapping my arms around my best friend once again, squeezing her tightly.
“God, I love you,” she says, hugging me back.
“And I you, Emma Davenport.”
“SEEMS STRANGE, DOESN'T it,” I say to Carver who is lounging on the opposite end of the couch from me.
“What?” he asks, turning his attention away from the television where an episode of Game of Thrones is playing.
“Em not being here. Seems quiet, doesn't it?”
“Now that you mention it, yeah, it kind of does.” He grabs the remote to pause the show, before turning his attention back to me. “You're going to cry now, aren't you?” he asks, a goofy grin appearing across his handsome face. I shake my head no, but even as I do, I feel the tears welling. “Come here.” He sighs, holding his arms open for me. Crawling across the couch, I snuggle into his side and lay my head on his chest.
“I miss her already,” I whine, pressing my face into the crook of his neck.
“Here.” He reaches over to hit play on the remote. “Game of Thrones will make you feel better.”
I laugh, thinking he’s lost his mind, but find myself distracted by the show almost immediately. The story line is both intriguing and disturbing, and oddly enough, I can't pull my eyes away.
Once the credits begin to roll, I push myself into a sitting position and stretch my arms over my head, trying to shake out the numbness in my left hand from laying on it.
“You hungry?” I ask Carver, who peers up at me through long lashes.
“Starving.” He groans, gripping his stomach like he hasn't eaten in days.
“Don't be dramatic.” I sigh, pushing myself off the couch. “Come on.” I hold my hands out to him. “Let's go to Ferros.”
“Are you asking me out on a date?” he jokes, taking my hands and laughing when I struggle to pull his body from the couch.
“If a date constitutes you paying for me, absolutely.” I shove him back down onto the couch right as he pulls into a full stand.
“Hey!” he protests, throwing his hands up in laughter.
“That's what you get.” I stick my tongue out at him as I make my way into the kitchen. I purposely take an extra-long amount of time rinsing out my glass before shutting the water off and turning back to face him.
“How about you stop messing around and feed me? I'm withering away over here.”
“Yeah, I can tell.” I snort. “Let me grab my stuff,” I say, quickly making my way back to my room to get my purse.
Grabbing my cell phone off of the dresser, I see that I have a text message from Emma.
Just landed. Boston is incredible. Been here ten minutes and love it already.
I smile, thankful that Em seems to have reclaimed her former happiness about getting the opportunity to tour the country. I know she didn't want to leave things with Alec the way she did, but I have a feeling that those two are far from over.
Something that Zayne said to me last night suddenly comes flooding back. He thinks Alec is in love with Emma. Why I’m just now remembering this is beyond me, but if I had to guess, I would say the alcohol played a large part. Even though I was almost completely sober by the time he took me home, I still felt fuzzy and not all there.
Enjoy yourself, you've earned this! Love you!
I text Em back and lock my screen, sliding my phone into the back pocket of my shorts. I find myself running through the conversation Zayne and I had in the cab.
What else did he say that I can't remember?
I know he talked about Alec and his feelings about Emma but for some reason, I feel like there was more. Like there is something I’m missing. I try to retrace his words over and over again but can't pinpoint what it is.
“Did you get lost in there?” Carver calls down the hall, laughter in his voice.
“Ha! Ha!” I mock, deciding that whatever I can't remember will either come to me or it won't. Either way, I can't stand here all night trying to figure it out.
“It's about time,” Carver huffs, pulling the door open before ushering me into the hall.
As we take our time walking and laughing, I realize
very quickly that while I will miss Emma dreadfully, I'm going to be okay. For the first time in my life, I’m on my own. I mean, sure, I have Carver, who I love dearly. And Alec, who I know I can call whenever I need anything. But this is the first time that I can remember being away from Emma for any real length of time.
While it's scary and a little intimidating, I feel like I can handle it. Now, whether I found the strength to do so on my own, or this is something that having Zayne in my life has instilled in me is still undetermined. Either way, I'm ready to start making my life happen for me.
The walk to Ferros is quick and I’m enjoying the late evening heat. It's hard to believe that it's already almost August. It seems like it was just yesterday that Emma and I arrived, having no idea what New York would have in store for us.
Carver holds the door open for me and I’m not surprised to find the family owned pizza diner nearly empty. I learned very quickly that the after bar rush in the middle of the night is where the business makes its money. During the day, it's just a rundown mom and pop pizza diner, but at night it really shines.
Taking a seat at the booth in the far back corner of the restaurant, I slide into the side that faces toward the counter and give Carver a wide smile as he makes his way toward me, two bottles in hand.
“I love that they serve beer here.” He slides into the booth across from me, pushing one of the bottles in my direction.
“Do they not all serve beer?” I ask, retrieving the bottle. I just assumed it was a New York thing. Most places like this in Colorado are lucky to carry soda, let alone alcohol.
“No, this is one of very few,” he says. “In fact...” He starts rambling about various pizza places and why most don't carry alcohol, but I lose his words in the sudden buzz ringing through my ears at the sight of Zayne walking through the door.
Carver doesn't see him because of where he's sitting, but I have a perfect view of his amazing, tall, lean torso and the gleam in his eyes when they land on me.
I watch Zayne disappear down the tiny hall that leads to the bathrooms and instantly my pulse quickens.
“Grace... Are you even listening to me?” Carver's voice manages to break through my thoughts and I look up to meet his gaze.
“I... I need to use the restroom,” I stutter out, completely certain that I probably seem like a flustered mess.
“Okay.”
I feel Carver’s eyes follow me until I’m no longer in view but I don't have time to think about him for very long.
The second I pass by the men's room, an arm wraps around my waist and pulls me backward into the restroom. I can feel his breath hot on my neck and his arousal pressing against my backside.
“Zayne,” I pant out.
“You have to keep quiet, kitten,” he rasps in my ear, leaning over to snap the lock in place. His hands come down on my hips and urge me forward until my front is pressed against the cool metal of the bathroom door.
“Zayne... We can't... Carver is out there,” I pant, not able to get my words out in complete sentences as he roughly removes my shorts and panties in one hard tug.
“Shhh.” He unbuckles his pants.
I hear the zipper descend, and the rustling of fabric as he frees himself from the confines of his clothes.
Moisture pools between my legs and while I’m more than a little panicked about what we are doing and where, I have to admit that it sends a thrill through me that only intensifies my need to feel Zayne deep inside of me.
His hands land on my shoulders as he twists me around to face him. Before I have time to react, his lips are on mine, hard and full of need. His teeth graze roughly against my lower lip in the most delicious way.
He hoists me up, my legs wrapping around his waist, his mouth still firmly on mine. I feel his hips draw back and then in one hard, punishing thrust, he enters me. A surprised cry escapes my throat but he swallows the sound, lapping his tongue against mine.
He establishes a quick pace and within seconds I’m moaning and withering in his arms. My body meeting each of his thrusts, my blood rushing through my veins, the delicious ache of my orgasm building deep in my lower belly.
This is not about feelings or thoughts, emotions or wants. This is about pure carnal need. The kind that blinds you from everything. All I feel is Zayne. His thick length sliding in and out of me. His hard muscles clenching around my body. The feel of his hands as he grips my ass tightly.
He shifts so that he enters me so deeply. The pressure, the intensity, it's all too much. The moment his teeth sink lightly into my shoulder to stifle his own cry of release, I fall apart above him. My orgasm rips through me, causing my whole body to tremble and shake.
Zayne once again takes my mouth, swallowing my moans of pleasure and satisfaction. When he's sure that my noises have ceased, he pulls back and gives me a wicked grin.
“You are one amazing woman.” He kisses the tip of my nose before gently pulling out of me and setting me to my feet.
I wobble under the weight of my own body, my legs like jelly. I locate my shorts and panties and quickly slip them back on, my mind working on autopilot.
“Did you follow me here?” I ask, adjusting my tank top before smoothing my hair.
“Well, technically, I was going to stop by and see how you were doing. But then I saw you leave with Carver so yes, I guess I did follow you.” He takes a step toward me. “And for the record, I don't like you with him.”
“For the record, he's one of my best friends and you need to get over it. Besides, I kind of like it when you're jealous.” I run my hands across his tight, sculpted chest.
“You’re going to be the death of me, woman.” He smiles, leaning down to place a soft, lingering kiss to my mouth. “So you don't forget who you belong to,” he whispers across them, kissing me again.
“So you don't,” I say, softly running my hand up the front of his pants and cupping his crotch. He groans at the action and I feel him begin to harden again.
“I don't think I need reminding.” He smiles, placing another kiss to my lips.
This one is fuller and there is a mounting want behind it. Knowing if I don't put a stop to this now, we are likely to never leave this bathroom, I break away and quickly unlock the door.
I throw him a wicked smile over my shoulder and blow a kiss before quickly slipping out of the men's room, praying to god that no one is standing on the other side of the door. To my relief the hall is empty.
The moment I turn the corner, panic hits me. I must have been gone for at least ten minutes if not more. Carver's gonna ask what took me so long. What do I say? I quickly start grasping for a cover. Sure enough, the moment I sit down, he eyes me curiously.
“I was beginning to think you fell in,” he says, gesturing to our pizza that has already arrived and been sitting here for who knows how long.
“Sorry, Mom called while I was in the bathroom. I was in the hallway talking to her.” I feel guilty for lying but kind of proud of myself for blurting out my excuse so freely.
I can tell that he's suspicious, but a genuine smile crosses his face. He seems to buy my story or at least decides not to voice otherwise. Picking up a piece of pizza, he takes a big bite. He chews and swallows and then turns his attention back to me.
“How’s Victoria?” he asks, trying to be sexy but failing miserably. I laugh, but it sounds wrong to me. Nervous and shaky. I take a deep breath and try to mentally calm myself.
“She's great. She and Rob just got back from Wyoming,” I say, laughing at the disgusted face Carver makes at the mention of my stepfather's name.
“She's still married to that tool,” he jokes, taking another bite of his pizza. I laugh but it falls away as I’m distracted by the god of a man now crossing the length of the restaurant.
His hair is messy and his clothes rumpled and he looks exactly like I feel, very satisfied yet still full of hunger. He throws me a wicked smile and a wink and then disappears out of the door and onto the now darkened sidewalk.
Carver studies me for a moment when I look back to him, catching his eyes. He opens his mouth like he's going to say something, but in a desperate attempt to put us back on track, I cut him off.
“He's not a tool.” I pick right back up into the conversation, hoping that he doesn't notice my once again flushed cheeks and rapid pulse. My god, the things that man does to me. “You just think that because he's not you, and frankly, Carv, that's quite disturbing,” I point out, picking up a slice of pizza and taking a large bite.
“Sorry to offend, but your mom is a MILF.” He chuckles when I practically choke on my pizza.
“Okay, we are so done talking about my mother.”
We leave Ferros a little over an hour later. I feel bad that Carver has spent the entire night trying to cheer me up, yet my mind has been so preoccupied, that carrying on a decent conversation has been quite the challenge. From the moment Zayne stepped foot into the restaurant a little over an hour ago, my mind has been completely consumed with thoughts of him.
The way he took me against the bathroom door. The way his fingers dug into my hips and his tongue searched my mouth greedily. The way he pounded into me so fiercely, like he could not get deep enough inside me. I still have no idea how we managed to get away with it without anyone so much as batting an eye.
As Carver and I walk back to our apartment, the realization of my actions hits me like a hammer and my heartrate picks up speed again.
What the hell was I thinking? And yet, oh my god, I want to do it again.
I needed a distraction. Something to pull me out of my head so that I could stop replaying the fight with Emma or the goodbyes that we shared hours later. I needed to forget. And boy did I ever.
He made me forget in a way that has me unable to think about anything but him. Just thinking about feeling him inside of me again has my insides pooling with desire. That man lights a fire in me so deep, I swear that I will feel the burn for as long as I live.
The Way Back Page 27