Dear Rosie Hughes
Page 18
To: rosie-of-arabia@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Photo
Date: 20 May
Yes
From: simonday14@hotmail.com
To: rosie-of-arabia@yahoo.com
Subject: The Truth
Date: 21 May
Hi, Rosie
You know me too well. OK, so here’s the truth. Australia isn’t working out too well for me. I’ve lost my job at the theatre. I was dating the director’s daughter (she’s in the show) and before I could blink we’d got a flat together and she was planning baby names. For Christ’s sake! Why do chicks always want to move in so quickly? My visa runs out in six months, but I haven’t the money to fly home. Sophie (the director’s daughter who’s pissed at me because I started seeing someone else) has kept the flat on and muggings here is still paying for it. So now I’m skint and sleeping on a mate’s sofa. I’ve got a job in a club to tide me over cash wise. It’s all a bit shit but I’ll work my way out of it, always do.
Si
P.S. If I don’t respond straight away to your email it’s not because I’m ignoring you so don’t be mad. I can only access email at my mate’s computer and I’m working all hours God sends at the moment to claw back some cash. And please don’t nag in your reply. I already know I’m a cock.
From: rosie-of-arabia@yahoo.com
To: simonday14@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: The Truth
Date: 21 May
Simon
I’m not sure what to say, except:
When will you learn?! You’re a grown man, for goodness sake. Stop thinking with your dick!
Nag complete. Why do you always let women push you into a firm commitment before you’re ready? This set of circumstances happens every single time you meet a woman. You fall head over heels for a pretty face and long legs, you shower her with compliments until you’re sure she’s crazy about you, then, when you know she’s a done deal and the chase is over, you lose interest. If you want to jump from woman to woman and shag your way around Sydney then that’s up to you, but perhaps you could stop committing so quickly and leading them to believe that you’re their ‘happy ever after’.
I haven’t been able to spend any money for a few months, so I could easily cobble together about £3,000 from my current account and get it transferred over to you. This would help get you a ticket home, at least? Despite the fact that you’re a dickhead, for what it’s worth, I don’t think you’re a cock (there is a difference). And I want to talk to you about Aggie Braithwaite, but I’ll do that next time I see you.
Rosie
From: simonday14@hotmail.com
To: rosie-of-arabia@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Re: The Truth
Aggie who?
From: rosie-of-arabia@yahoo.com
To: aggieb@yahoo.com
Subject: Great News
Date: 22 May
Hi, Aggie.
Great news! I’ve been given another job. Thank God, I was so desperately bored. I still do the bloody sodding weather forecast (this job has put me off the weather for life) but I’m now the Visits Officer, too. ‘What’s that?’ I hear you say. Well, now that the war is over (Gethyn says it’s far from over and this is only the beginning of a massive bloody mess and that we NEVER EVER learn), but anyway, now the war is ‘pretend over’ we’re going to start receiving lots of visitors (AKA glory hunters) to have a nosy around Basra and I will organise the visits.
Visitors this month are mainly Brit politicians (watch the news and you’ll see who). I’ll be driving around Basra with them. Am I nuts? The answer to that is, yes! Definitely. I hate driving around Basra. We’re in this phase called ‘hearts and minds’ which means we’re now showing the Iraqis that we’re here with all good intentions and only want the best for them (even though we knocked ten bells of crap out of them for the last couple of months) and that we’re actually the good guys.
To show our trust in them and promote a reciprocal attitude towards us, we wear berets rather than helmets and have abandoned the body armour (not that I have any since I gave mine away in March).
I still carry only ten rounds of ammunition, but I’d be useless with a gun anyway so the fact that I have so little ammo is immaterial. Having said that, Gethyn double-checks my pistol for me before I go out into the city. I think he’s more worried about me being out and about than he lets on. But honestly, I think I’ll be fine, and it’s better for my mental health to get out of HQ for a bit. I know I’m no soldier, but I genuinely believe that being at war is much worse than being in prison – in prison I would at least have a shower, a flushing toilet, visitors and the possibility of an early release for good behaviour.
I’ll tell you one thing, though, I agree with Gethyn that it was a nicer environment when we were out in the desert. Oh, I know I bitched about the sand for weeks, but the problem with living and working at the airport is that it just feels so unhygienic and it’s unbearably hot. The air-conditioning and sanitary provisions are shot through (literally) and so our work space is full of stagnant, stifling air (getting up to 50 degrees). There also seems to be more cases of diarrhoea and vomiting since we moved to the airport. So, yes, I preferred living in the middle of the desert, it was cooler, cleaner and freer (told you, no matter how shitty you think your life is, it can always get worse! You’ve got to laugh).
Bye for now.
Love, Rosie
Bluey
From: Rosie
To: Oliver
Date: 23 May
Dear, Oliver
No, I haven’t fired my gun, thank the Lord. We’re now in Basra at an airport terminal. It’s not a civilian airport anymore with normal aeroplanes coming and going. The Chief of Staff is a very important Army Colonel. He has set up his office in a room that used to be the airport shop. There is a sign above his door that says, ‘Duty Free’. Don’t you think that’s funny?
I know what you mean about wishes. I spent several years wishing for something to happen to me, but my wish never came true and that made me very sad, and then I got my wish, but it was taken away from me. But I think the important thing is to never stop wishing for something – anything – that brings you joy, even if it’s not what you originally imagined it would be. I wouldn’t have thought this way a couple of months ago, but I do now.
You said someone was thinking of adopting you? Isn’t that a good thing? Didn’t you wish for it? Let me know how it goes.
Rosie
From: aggieb@yahoo.com
To: rosie-of-arabia@yahoo.com
Subject: Oliver
Date: 24 May
Hi, Rosie
I researched computer programmes for Oliver. There are a couple you can buy that teach children touch-typing. I phoned (and persuaded) Mrs Cartwright to let Oliver have one. However, she does insist (and I agree with her) that Oliver should only use it when writing long pieces of work and that he shouldn’t use the spell checker facility – his spelling requires a great deal of improvement. Mrs Cartwright (I’ll never be able to call her Angela) thinks you are, perhaps, under a false impression of Oliver’s literacy skills. She helps Oliver write his letters to you and it takes him absolutely ages to type them out and, because he wants his letters to seem grown up, she helps. But anyway, I’ll get him a laptop and put the typing programme on there and you can settle up with me later. Also, tell me to mind my own business, but there was something else I discussed with Mrs Cartwright and I feel the need to pass it on to you (don’t be mad).
For child protection reasons Mrs Cartwright reads all the letters you send to Oliver before she passes them on to him, which is perfectly understandable. One thing she is slightly concerned about is that you may be setting Oliver up with false hopes for the future. I haven’t read your letters and so can’t comment. But she feels that children like Oliver just don’t get the breaks you and I had and that you may be setting him up for a fall in the long-run, even if you have all the best intentions. Anyway, I’ll sort out the la
ptop which hopefully will improve things for him in the class.
Love, Ag
P.S. Mrs Cartwright also said please don’t feel tempted to buy Oliver a dog
From: percynmadge@yahoo.com
To: rosie-of-arabia@yahoo.com
Subject: Back Home
Date: 25 May
Dear, Babe
We’re back from Whitby – lovely weather, only a bit of rain. Bad news on the metal detecting front, I’m afraid. The farmer who owns the field near Holmfirth doesn’t have any time for us metal detecting types and he’s refused access. It’s a blow. I’d have loved to get my hands on that field. Ah well, I’ll find that pot of gold one day, babe. Your old Dad hasn’t given up yet. Back to Whitby day after tomorrow probably. Love ya babe and don’t become complacent – remember what I’ve told you,
KYHD!
MumnDad x
‘E’ Bluey
From: Oliver
To: Rosie
Date: 26 May
Dear, Rosie
I’m getting adopted by a couple who live in Darlington. I’m pleased but I do mind a little bit because I will have had to leave school in a couple of weeks and that means I can’t write to you and I want to write to you until you come home safe. I hear you’re getting me a laptop. Thank you. I’m going to come to school early every morning and sit with Mrs Cartwright and she’s going to teach me how to type (she’s doing it right now). What does Iraq look like? Mrs Cartwright said it is a place from the bible and that the river was important. Do you believe in Jesus? I’m more of a big boom boom person myself. I don’t think it’s possible for there to be a man with a beard looking down on us and knowing what every single person is doing every minute of the day. This is a Christian school so we have to learn about the bible. Mrs Cartwright says to say she’s told me that even if I don’t believe in God and stuff I can still learn from the bible stories. I told her I would try. Matt is nicer to me now because I told him I’m getting a laptop and he wants to have a go on it.
Oliver
From: igambini@hotmail.com
To: rosie-of-arabia@yahoo.com
CC: gethyn-of-arabia@yahoo.com
Subject: Agatha
Date: 27 May
Dear, Rosie and Gethyn
My name is Isabella and I’m a friend of Agatha’s. I’ve accessed Aggie’s emails so that I can contact her friends and family to pass on the unfortunate news that poor Aggie has had quite a serious fall from a horse. She was galloping on the beach and the horse ran away with her. Her injuries are not as bad as first suspected, but she has a broken wrist, broken ribs and a cut and bruised face and concussion. She is expected out of hospital tomorrow and is returning to the café, insisting we do not inform Casey of the fall. Agatha wanted you both to know that you are not forgotten, and she will return to letter writing duties as soon as possible. I have emailed Agatha’s mother but received only a curt response. I’m sure Agatha will email you with all the details as soon as she is fit.
With very best wishes,
Isabella
From: gethyn-of-arabia@yahoo.com
To: igambini@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Agatha
Date: 28 May
Dear, Isabella
Thank you for your email. Please give Agatha my best wishes and tell her I hope for a speedy recovery. Out of interest, and please don’t think I’m interfering as I’m sure you will have everything organised, but as Agatha has suffered concussion, will someone be on hand to keep an eye on her? Also, speaking as a doctor, please can you pass on my advice to Agatha that she does not resume duties at the café for a little while – she needs bed rest. The reason I say this is because I am aware that she is waiting for a food critic to arrive and I fear she will exert herself ensuring the café is at constant readiness.
Kind regards,
Gethyn
From: igambini@hotmail.com
To: gethyn-of-arabia@yahoo.com
CC: rosie-of-arabia@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Re: Agatha
Date: 28 May
Dear, Gethyn
I completely understand your concern, but rest assured, Agatha will not be baking up a storm this week but has been informed she must tolerate bed rest. The food critic’s first day at Appledart was, in fact, the day Agatha had her fall. Our spies had failed to inform us of his arrival because he was not travelling alone. In fact, Nathan and his assistant (who seems to have taken more than a shine to Agatha), have decided to stay on in Appledart for a week or so for a holiday, which means I have plenty of help at the café and Agatha has a companion waiting on her every need (his assistant). I’m sure Agatha will fill you in on the bizarre events of the day in question once she is up to emailing again.
Best wishes,
Isabella
Bluey
From: Rosie
To: Oliver
Date: 29 May
Dear, Oliver.
You’re welcome. I hope it helps. Be sure to keep up with your spelling and handwriting practise or you’ll get me into trouble! I have email now. If Mrs Cartwright doesn’t mind you can email me at: Rosie-of-arabia@yahoo.com
I’ll probably leave Iraq in early July. Maybe we can keep in touch when I get home? You’ll have to ask your new parents though (how completely exciting!).
Rosie
From: rosie-of-arabia@yahoo.com
To: aggieb@yahoo.com
Subject: Are you OK?
Date: 29 May
Hi, Ag
Not sure when you’ll read this but I’m so worried – are you OK? It’s supposed to be me in the wars, not you. Please get well soon and email as soon as you can to let us know you’re OK.
Love, Rosie
From: percynmadge@hotmail.com
To: rosie-of-arabia@yahoo.com
Subject: Whitby
Date: 30 May
Dear, Babe
We’re going back to Whitby the day after tomorrow. Your mother has a hair appointment in the morning but if we went straight back after that we’d have to contend with the problem of the racket from the disco which defies description, so we’ll miss a day.
Everything’s OK at this end. One slight hiccup is that Aunty Joan’s got to go back to the hospital and have a knee scan, but her mind’s being taken off it to some extent because she’s just won £500 on Radio Sheffield – jammy bugger.
KYHD.
Luv ya babe
Mumndad xxx.
From: josh71@yahoo.com
To: rosie-of-arabia@yahoo.com
Subject: Shells and Stuff
Date: 31 May
Hi, Rosie
I went into your box of special things today and I found a shoe box full of our shells. I had no idea you’d written the date and location on each one and saved them. The shell with the seaweed attached to it we found at Findhorn still has the seaweed attached! You drew a frowning face on it and said it looked like my Mother. Do you mind if I keep it? I love the photo of the two of us sat on the ferry to Appledart, too – you always came up with such great places to go. I’ve left the lamp in the box. It’s yours and I should never have asked for it back.
Our divorce is finalised tomorrow. I hope you find great joy in the future, where ever life takes you.
Take care.
Josh
From: simonday14@hotmail.com
To: rosie-of-arabia@yahoo.com
Subject: What a nag!
Date: 31 May
Hi, Rosie
And this is why I don’t tell you anything. What a nag!
Anyhow, thanks a gazzilion for the offer, sis, but I can’t take your money. Don’t worry, your ‘ol brother will sort himself out before too long, and I’ll have enough cash to come home and take you and that chesty mate of yours (I remember who Aggie is now) up town to get pissed like the old days and then leg it into Huddersfield for a kebab and a new tattoo.
Gotta go. Got a shift at the club.
Stay safe kiddo. Si x
P.S. Shame things did
n’t work out between you and Josh. That guy really loved you. Is there no hope?
From: rosie-of-arabia@yahoo.com
To: josh71@yahoo.com
Subject: No Subject
Date: 31 May
Dear Josh
I didn’t sleep very much last night, not because of the stifling heat, but because of the noise coming from the engines of an RAF C17 that had its engines running while parked on the apron all night. I’m not angry about it, just very sad. We repatriated some soldiers who were killed the day before onto that same aircraft yesterday evening, but it couldn’t take-off until this morning, so the air-conditioning had to stay on all night for obvious reason – I lay listening to the hum of the engines, thinking of the people inside. It was an all-night reminder of the truth of this war. But this terrible sadness has urged me to do something in this letter that is more frightening to me even than going to war, but if I can face jumping into a trench and drive around Basra without a helmet or body armour, then I can do this.
For the past few years, my every waking thought has been occupied with Angelica. Next time it’s raining, sit and look at the window – not out of the window, but at the window pane itself - and follow the slow pattern the rain makes as it works its way down the glass. That slow trickle of water is the best way I can think of to describe my previous feelings, a never-ending supply of tears that just kept falling, except the tears fell on the inside because I just couldn’t cry. When I closed my eyes, I would imagine Angelica clinging to me, or crying for me in the night or (my favourite image of self-harm) I would imagine her as a toddler, looking up at me with her arms outstretched and a great big smile on her face. I’ve brought this sorrow onto myself every day in a kind of masochistic ritual. But now that I’ve had my whole life stripped away to nothing – no possessions, no freedom and no guarantee of waking up tomorrow – I realise how much I have to be thankful for and, most of all, as melodramatic as it sounds, I realise that I lost the most precious gift of all – you. I’m sorry if this sounds as if I’ve had a clichéd epiphany, but I have, truly. That fortune teller told me I’d find peace in the desert, and I have.
But although I may have found peace, I’ve lost my future. I’ve tried to imagine myself – my life – ten years from now, but it’s impossible, not without you. Can we please try again? We once told each other we were two little soul mates that had found each other, and that we would always find each other, from one life to the next, for eternity – remember? And remember our song, La Vie en Rose (I know I’m throwing every bit of emotion at you now but it’s all I’ve got). Imagine I’m singing it to you now – in my best fake French accent, in lacy underwear!