Gauche the Cellist and Other Stories
Page 9
Two young gentlemen, carrying beautifully polished rifles and dressed just as if they were English soldiers, and accompanied by two massive dogs that looked more like polar bears, were deep, deep into the woods having the following conversation, as the leaves on the forest floor rustled beneath their feet,
"There is something fishy about these woods, don't you think? Not a single bird or animal to be seen. I don't care what, I just wanna whack something soon, you know, Bam! Bam!"
"Two or three shots in the yellow belly of a deer would be quite delightful, don't you think? Around and around it would go, and then just collapse in a heap."
They were deep, deep into the woods. They were so far into the woods that even the professional shooter they'd hired to guide them had gotten all confused and wandered off somewhere.
Then, because of the sheer ghastliness of the place, those two dogs that were like polar bears, both suddenly became dizzy, started howling, and then frothed up at the mouth and died.
"That's just cost me 2,400 yen," said the first gentleman briefly peeling back the dog's eyelids.
"It cost me 2,800 yen," grimaced the second gentleman cocking his head to one side.
The first gentleman, his face having turned quite pale, looked carefully at the other gentleman as he spoke,
"I think I'll head back."
"Well, it has gotten cold and I am hungry so I think I'll head back too."
"Right, let's call it a day. Besides, we can buy a pheasant from the inn where we stayed last night for 10 yen on our way home."
"Yes, and they sold rabbits there too. Why, it's all the same in the end. Right, let's head back then shall we?"
But the terrible problem they had now was they hadn't the faintest idea which way home was.
All around them, the wind howled, the grass swooshed, the leaves rustled, the trees groaned.
"Boy am I hungry! I've got a pain in the side that is just killing me."
"I'm the same. I don't want to walk much further."
"No, me neither. Ah, we're in a bit of a fix now. I need something to eat."
"Yes, me too."
This is what the two gentlemen were saying as the pampas grass swooshed and swayed all around them.
Just then, they happened to look behind, and right there was a magnificent European style building.
A sign placed at the entrance, said,
*******************
RESTAURANT
WILDCAT HOUSE