by Khadijah J
“I can hear you now,” I joked. She stood up, waving her arms up and down.
“Yasss, that’s my baby. You go girl!” She yelled. I laughed.
“Now, I picked up some stuff for us to cook tonight. Are you coming to assist your old momma in the kitchen?” She inquired.
“Sure, Ma,” I got up to help her. These were the moments I lived for with my mom, but there were times I wanted to give up. Some days, I wished my brother had took me with him, especially when my mother was passed out drunk and high. I felt like I couldn’t really talk to anyone about it, no one understood me. No one understood what I saw, or how I will never get the image of my brother taking his last breath outta my head.
My little sister, Mylo, had lost her damn mind. She was running the streets being fast with her best friend, Amara, I couldn’t stand her. I had no control over her. My mother was tired of going upside her head. She was just a lost cause, she knew if AJ was alive, she wouldn’t even try her life like this, but whatever. I just danced my life away, listened to music, went to school, and kept to myself.
I was trying to keep a level head. I was two seconds from losing it, but I just kept my composure. It was the weekend, and my mother was God only knew where and Mylo was at, her friend’s I guess. I was at home when the doorbell rang. It was Taylynn.
“Hey.”
“Hey. You wanna come to the mall with me real quick? My momma let me get her car.”
“Sure, let me put on my shoes.” I told her. I put my sneakers on and went to grab my purse. I left my mother or sister a note, telling them I was gone, and I locked up the apartment. We headed down to her mother’s house to get in the car. As soon as we got in, Taylynn was telling me about her old boo, who treated her like shit. I didn’t care for him, but I was tired of telling her that. I was no longer interested in wasting my breath, so I just listened to her.
“Girl, so tell me why the fuck Vontae ass is tripping. He talking about I need to stop telling people I fuck with him, because he could get locked up. I’m like, nigga, I’m eighteen now, so what are you talking about? But Ja’Vonna was telling me how it was going around a while ago how he was married. But you know what? I don’t care, shit, as long as he fucking me and breaking me off, I really don’t.” She shrugged, and giggled. My head whipped around so fast.
“Wow, Taylynn, when did we become this low? You don’t care if he’s married?” I asked.
“I was just kidding.”
“No. You were dead ass serious, and I have nothing to say. If you like it, I love it, but I won’t have shit to do with it, because at the end of the day, we’re females first, and you wouldn’t want no one to do that to you. That’s fucked up.” I snapped. Not another word was said as she pulled into the mall parking lot and parked. We sat there in silence, when she finally she broke the silence with her tears.
“You’re right, you’re always right.” She sniffled. I just looked out the window, because somehow, I knew she had a lot more to say.
“You’re always right, I wish I was more like you. You’re smart, you’re independent, strong. Everything I want to be, you have the best body a girl could ever want, and you’re the prettiest, purest being, I’ve ever known. I wish I was just a fraction of you. I’ve always felt like I wasn’t pretty.” Her voice cracked, and my head turned quickly toward her.
“What are you talking about, Taylynn? You’re the most gorgeous girl I know, and you’re everything you said about me, and more so, what’s up with this? You’re strong, your body is amazing too. Forreal, Taylynn.” I snapped.
“I don’t know, Lee. This nigga been controlling and shit since a month after we started dating. He’s so controlling, and I’ve been trying to put on a front, but I’m not okay. He hit me the other day for the first time, and all though he apologized and begged and pleaded for my forgiveness, I know that it’ll happen again.” She finally admitted. I looked at her with so much sympathy. I couldn’t believe it. I knew he wasn’t just screaming at her all the time. He was hitting my friend, and I was going to kill him.
“You don’t deserve that.” I told her. She put her head down and nodded, but I clutched her chin in my hands, forcing her to look at me.
“You don’t deserve that. He doesn’t deserve you. You’re a gem in a world full of rhinestones, and you need to know that, and realize that right now in this moment.” I told her, seriously. Her eyes were bloodshot red, and the tears flowed down her beautiful skin. My friend was broken, this nigga had broken her, and I was heartbroken seeing her like this.
“I don’t deserve that. You’re right. That’s why I left him, I need to focus on graduating, and us going away to college.” She smiled.
“Well, I’m proud of you for finally leaving his ugly ass. I’m here for you, if ever you feel like you’re going to call him and go back to him, just remember the worst thing he ever did. But also remember, he doesn’t deserve you or your youth. We young as heck, and it’s more fish in the sea. Just wait ‘til we get to school. There’s going to be plenty of options.” I preached.
“See, you always know what to say. Just full of wisdom, and you need to become a preacher or something, Sister Lee.” She joked.
“Whatever.” I laughed.
“This is the first time I’ve seen you smile and laugh in a while, friend.” She pointed out. That just made me look out the window.
“Not much to smile about these days.” I shrugged.
“Well, hopefully, as life goes on, you’ll get your smile back, because your smile is beautiful. Now, let’s go in this mall so I can get these shoes from Foot Locker.” She said. I nodded.
We walked in the mall, grabbed a few items before heading back out the store. As soon as we did, we made eye contact with four girls, before chaos erupted. I was swinging for my life. I remembered my mother telling me when getting jumped, put your back against the wall and just swing. I did exactly that, but these bitches were grown as hell. One of them sliced my arm and hand when I blocked her from slicing my face. I saw my friend on the ground getting kicked. This shit was crazy. Finally, security and a few employee’s broke it up.
“Maybe next time, you’ll get the message. STOP FUCKING WITH MY MAN, HOE!” She screamed across the mall.
“What the fuck?” I screamed. My mouth was leaking, and my right eye was swollen from my glasses being punched in the eye several times.
“Oh my God.” I heard Taylynn say.
“You okay, Tay?” I asked. She looked up and her face was bruised and stuff too. I helped her off the ground as the security bombarded us with question after question. We told them we didn’t know them, they just attacked us, which was true on my end. After awhile, we grabbed our stuff, trying to scurry out of there. I helped her to the car and stuff.
“Tay, how you feel? Want me to drive you to the hospital?”
“I’m good. Just take me to my momma’s. I can’t wait to tell my cousin, Iesha, she gon’ beat that bitch ass. Them bitches are twenty nine and up, like, what the fuck? I’m so sorry I dragged you in this mess of mine.” She exclaimed. I just shook my head and shrugged, pulling up into her mother’s parking spot.
“I’mma hit you up later I guess, Tay.” I told her, after making sure she was okay.
“Okay, again, I’m so sorry, sis.” She stressed.
“It’s not your fault.” I told her, walking out. I hurriedly made my way home and noticed my mom’s car in the parking lot. Walking in, a couple of her friends were there. They were all in the living room. I walked in and she smiled at me, but it quickly fell.
“Who the fuck put they hands on my baby?” She screamed.
“Ma, it’s okay.” I started.
“Oh, hell no!” She shrieked. I shook my head.
“Damn, did you at least fight back?” Mylo asked.
“Get yo stupid ass outta her face.” My mom yelled at her.
After settling down, she got some ice for my face, after cleaning my bandages. She made me call Taylynn, and Tay told her who e
verybody was and everything. My momma said she was beating they grown asses for touching me, and she meant what she said. The very next day, she came home with my Auntie Lawrie, and said the big bitch that jumped on me got two black eyes now. I shook my head at them both. They were crazy.
“Yo momma crazy, she was on a man hunt.”
“I sure was, they grown asses think they can touch my child. Y’all bitches thirty and up, hell no. It ain’t going down like that. Shit, my girls is all I got.” My mother exclaimed. I just took an aspirin and laid down, my head was killing me, and I felt alone and empty. I should’ve swallowed the whole bottle. Instead, I just took my ass to sleep.
FOUR
KENTRELL
Never in a million years did I think I’d have to live in a shelter with my old man. We had gone from shelter to shelter, ‘til my pops was finally able to get a two bedroom in the fucking gutter. Unbeknownst to him, my mother had been fucking his credit up. Maxed out all his credit cards and didn’t tell him about it so he could pay the bills. All the bills she had in the house in his name were all bad, because he would give her the money to pay them. My mom was just a foul ass female, bottom line. She had me side eyeing Briana, but I knew she wouldn’t do me like that.
But a few months after we got the two-bedroom apartment, my pops started acting weird or some shit. I was tired of waiting on my pops to make some shit shake, cause this nigga was slowly but surely letting me down. I went from living a pretty comfortable lifestyle, to my pops going through depression or some shit. He had lost his job at the factory due to him just losing himself. At one point, we were homeless, but we got this two-bedroom apartment in the fucking slums. He couldn’t get over the fact that my mom’s left him for a white man. I admit it was a hard pill to swallow, but shit, he always told me to be a man, accept shit and move the fuck on. But this nigga wasn’t practicing what he preached. We were about to get put out the crib, cause he was behind on the bills and shit, I had to make something shake.
I was making a little bit of money, and I was able to help pay the bills and shit. My pops came in the crib saying how he got fired, and he ain’t know what he was gon’ do. He had been laying around, so today, when I got home, I planned on telling this nigga the real. My pops used to be my road dog, my idol, but now, he was moving funny, but I was gon’ tell him that. I ain’t step foot in the crib ‘til like ten at night. I walked in, and he was on the couch knocked out drunk. I shook my head, turning off the TV, and went to my room to croak.
When I woke up in the morning, I got dressed and ready to head out to school. I was so fucking ready to finish. It was crazy, my teachers and them forced most of us to apply for scholarships and shit, so I did. I ain’t know I was gon’ get most of them. I had a full fucking ride to so many schools, it wasn’t funny. I had a lot of shit to think on and figure out. I walked out my room, and my pops was up and chirping, so I figured it was the perfect time to let this nigga know how I felt.
“Headed out?” He asked.
“Yeah, but I wanted to at you real quick.” I said.
“Everything alright?”
“Nah, not really, Pops. You ain’t been yo’self lately, and I’m tired of coming in the crib and you passed out on the couch drunk.”
“What the fuck you just said to me boy?”
“You always preached to me about life. You said that in life shit would happen, and you’d just have to be a man, take that shit and deal with it. But you not taking yo own advice. Look at you, Pops, look in the mirror, man. I don’t know who you are, cause you can’t be my OG. My OG would’ve never turned to the bottle for comfort.” I told him, and he ice grilled me up and down. I shook my head and walked out the door heading to school.
I used the whip, because he ain’t need it for shit, seeing as how he stayed in the house all day. When I pulled up, I walked in and went to my locker putting my backpack in there. I was grabbing my books for my first class when Zell’s dumb ass walked up to me.
“Word around town was that you owe me some money.” Zell’s silly ass stated.
“What the fuck you talking about, bro?” I closed my locker.
“Nigga, I told you the Lakers were gonna lose. You said bet twenty, and I need my bread, or it’s off with yo head.” He threatened.
“I ain’t got twenty, I’m broke.”
“You always lying. Everybody know you getting money now, nigga.” He joked.
“Nah, everybody don’t know shit, and that’s the way I wanna keep it.” I told him.
“Shit, me too, nigga, you know they say more money, more problems. But it’s really the more motherfuckers that know you got money, the more they beg, asking for shit, stressing you the fuck out.” He shook his head.
“Damn, who pissed you off this early?” I asked, laughing.
“Man, my fucking momma, bro. She get on my fucking nerves.” He shook his head.
Zell stayed with his crazy ass momma. She was legit outta her mind, she got checks for it, but stayed high on her medicine. She ain’t give a fuck about none of her damn kids. Zell had two older siblings, two brothers, they were like five years older, but they moved out and got locked the fuck up.
“You all that woman got, bruh.” Kenzo told him.
“Nigga, where the fuck you come from?” I asked.
“Bruh, I swear. You know this nigga be popping up like the fucking Matrix or some shit.” Zell added, and I had to agree.
“I’m saying, nigga. You are complaining about yo moms, when you all she got, and she got an illness.” Kenzo stressed.
“Nigga, I know what the fuck I got going on, and her illness is that she over medicates her fucking self. She tried to beat me with a bat the other day for hiding her pills. You don’t know what the fuck I been through, or go through, on a daily, so shut the fuck up talking to me.” Zell got all serious.
“Get ya mans a Midol or some shit. He on his period again.” Kenzo cracked and walked off cracking the fuck up.
“Both y’all niggas annoying.” I shook my head, walking to my classes.
After school, me and my niggas decided to go to the courts to hoop. We piled up in Zell’s momma car and hopped out. I was lacing up my basketball shoes, ready to put in work. It was a couple of niggas on the court, so we played the winners, and went all day. Me and my niggas could ball outta control, especially Kenzo. For that nigga to be so fucking big, he was quicker than a bitch, and had the wettest jumper, behind me. After we smoked everybody, we got in the car to go grab some food.
“I need to go see Bri and check on her.” I checked my phone and saw she had been blowing my shit up.
“Ahh, here you go with this broad.” Zell started.
“You disrespect her another time and see how I drop yo dumb ass.” I told him.
“You know how that nigga get behind Briana, bro. He just gotta learn on his own.” Kenzo added laughing.
“Man, it ain’t no learning. Me and Bri locked in, and besides, she pregnant.” I told them.
“Hold up, nigga.” Zell yelled.
“You ain’t gon’ just slide that in there like that. Nigga, what the fuck you doing raw dogging bitches, I mean females? Bruh, I expected it from Bozo right here, but not you man. You got too much going for yo’self.” Kenzo preached. Zell nodded in agreement.
“Shit, nigga, I know. I was being safe, she was on birth control, and I strapped up every time. The condom must’ve popped or some shit, I don’t know.” I exhaled.
“Ahh nah, bro. That shit don’t sound right.” Zell exclaimed.
“This nigga, but hell nah, that don’t sound right.” Kenzo added.
I was stressed out and had to figure some shit out. Bri was saying she was pregnant, and was gon’ keep the baby. I didn’t want to suggest abortion, but we were both young as fuck, and my pops and I just got on our feet. So instead of me suggesting an abortion, I told her I’d figure the shit out. Me and my niggas got put on by this nigga, Savage. He was a legend in the streets, and I was shocked the nigga took
us under his wing. Zell somehow pulled that shit off. My pops ain’t know I was out here hustling, but he ain’t have to. My phone rang, and it was Briana’s crybaby ass.
“Baby.” She whined.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“You tell me, we haven’t spent no time with each other in like weeks.” She whined.
“Bri, it’s been like two fucking days.” I ran my hand down my face.
“Oh, so I’m lying. Why you acting funny? You got you a new bitch? I didn’t get me pregnant, you did.” She yelled.
“Alright, bruh, I know that, and I get that. But I gotta go.” I told her.
“You better not hang up on me.” She started, but I had already hung up on her goofy ass. I ain’t have time for the dumb shit, and every time Bri called me, it was some dumb shit. She ain’t even get to walk with her class. Her dumb ass had to go to alternative school to finish, and she still ain’t even done that, but I was about to graduate. I just hoped my seed took after me, if not, I was gon’ make sure my baby was straight anyway.
“You good, bro?” Kenzo asked.
“Of course, nigga.” I nodded.
I was always gon’ be good, and that was why I needed to get to this bag. I still planned on going to school and shit, I was gon’ have to figure some shit out. I still had to tell my pops, and try and convince Bri to move with me to wherever school I decided to go to, so I could take care of her and our child. This was why I had to run this bag up, so my seed and future kids ain’t have shit to worry about. Selling this shit now wasn’t gon’ get me to where I needed to, nah, I planned on taking this shit to the next level real soon. I needed some real money, cause I had a lot of mouths to feed.
CODE: UN1CORN
FIVE
Taylynn
I had a semester left of my senior year. Today, I had to skip and take my mother’s car to go to the clinic, only to receive the worst news of my life. I had stopped talking to Vontae for a month and a half now. I was pregnant with his baby, three months, to be exact, and I was so mad. I didn’t know what to do or say. I also didn’t know how I was supposed to hide a baby for the next few months, when I was already three months. I wanted to curl up into a ball and die, but I didn’t. I went home and curled up into my bed crying my eyes out. I woke up around four in the afternoon. I didn’t even remember falling asleep, I just kept crying. I needed to figure out what I was going to do. I put on my shoes and walked over to my best friend’s house. I knocked on the door, and her sister, Mylo, answered.