“God, you feel amazing,” he groaned. He rocked his hips down against her, wanting to feel her clutch at him.
As always, Naomi didn’t disappoint, bringing her legs up to wrap around Ryan’s waist. She rocked forward, his hardening cock grinding against her, only the material of his boxers and her underwear between them.
“Now let me,” she said, surprising him. Naomi pushed her hand against Ryan’s shoulder so he’d flip them over. Once he was flat on his back with Naomi on top, she began to kiss her way down his chest. Her tongue slid over Ryan’s nipple. The unexpectedness of it - even if maybe he should have expected it - made Ryan’s breath hitch.
He’d never thought of his nipples as particularly sensitive. The way Naomi teased him, alternating between the soft, wet brush of her tongue and the sharp sting of teeth, made Ryan want to entirely reconsider. He cried out, arching his back to push his chest up towards her.
Carefully, he moved his hands along Naomi’s arms, sliding his fingers into her hair and guiding her from one nipple to the other. “Fuck, Naomi!” he gasped. His other hand brushed along her skin, fingertips tracing the slope of her shoulder. Given enough time, he wondered if he could learn her whole body like this.
He wondered if she knew his, if she could trace out the shape of his hip from all the times she’d pinned him to the mattress with her hands. He bucked up, giving a low growl when he felt how hot her skin was against him.
Naomi’s tongue licked over Ryan’s ribs as she slid lower down his body. Her hands felt good as they stroked over his skin. She knew how to touch him to get Ryan to respond eagerly. When her mouth moved lower, Ryan groaned. The anticipation mixed together with not being able to see where Naomi would touch next.
Her fingers were ever so soft as they worked their way under the band of his boxers. Naomi took her time sliding them down. Ryan groaned again as his cock sprung free. Normally, he would’ve loved watching her there, seeing Naomi’s beautiful plump lips against his skin. But now? It was just the knowledge that she was there and the heat of her breath against him.
He felt her cheek brush against his sensitive skin as she moved to kiss the jut of Ryan’s hip. It was so light, the touch barely there. Ryan wondered if he would even have felt it if he’d been distracted by the way Naomi looked.
She kissed against the other side, her hands pressing Ryan down against the mattress so he couldn’t buck up. That seemed to electrify Ryan even more. Not only could he not see, he couldn’t move. All he could do was wait. Ryan had to bite his lip, fighting not to clutch at Naomi and pull her closer.
If she wanted to tease him, Ryan would let her.
Feeling Naomi’s hot breath and skin so close to his cock felt amazing. Not knowing where her mouth was going to lower seemed to only enhance the sensation. Ryan bit his lower lip with a soft groan. He gave a much louder one when Naomi’s tongue teased over his cock. It felt hot, both physically and just in general.
Whatever doubts Ryan might have originally had about the blindfold had very quickly left him. Especially when Naomi’s lips wrapped around his cock, her tongue pressing harder over the shaft.
“Fuck!” Ryan would usually have watched, would’ve loved the sight of Naomi focused so intently on him and on his pleasure. Now that he couldn’t, Ryan tipped his head back. It freed him to focus on how good Naomi felt. He could feel the difference in texture between her lips and her tongue, could feel how wet and hot her mouth was and the way it closed around him when she hollowed her cheeks.
Naomi’s hair was silky beneath Ryan’s hand. Her skin was flushed warm as she bobbed her head up and down his length. “Naomi,” Ryan breathed. His heart was pounding against his ribs, pleasure coiling tighter and tighter. He felt her hands loosen their pressure. Ryan bucked up slowly, crying out as he thrust his hips towards the heat of Naomi’s mouth.
Her lips were so welcoming, taking him deeper. Ryan’s fingers tightened in Naomi’s hair, tugging lightly. His groans increased with the pleasure steadily building. He was getting closer and closer. Before Ryan could say as much, Naomi pulled back. The loss of her mouth made Ryan whine. But he was also glad - he didn’t want to come yet.
She placed a line of hot kisses against Ryan’s stomach, kissing her way up until she reached his mouth. Naomi’s lips tasted of Ryan. He kissed her back hard, pouring all of his want into the kiss.
His hands cradled her hips, pulling her body against his. He groaned when he felt his cock brush against the material of her underwear. “You’re wearing too many clothes,” he complained. It made Naomi laugh. Ryan felt as though his heart had swelled against his ribs.
Flipping her over, Ryan used his mouth to find his way down Naomi’s body. He brushed his lips against her nipples, the soft curve of her breast, her stomach. He hooked his fingers under the last piece of fabric separating them, sliding it down Naomi’s legs.
He moved back up, feeling Naomi part her legs for him.
Her body felt like fire under his. Naomi pushed her hips up to meet Ryan. Positioning himself against her, Ryan pressed another kiss against Naomi’s lips. The moan she gave when he pressed forward was swallowed by him. Naomi always felt amazing but this was almost too much. Ryan had to pause so he wouldn’t come right then and there.
Unexpectedly - because he couldn’t see it coming - Naomi’s lips were against his again. Her kiss was hot. Her teeth grazed over Ryan’s lower lip. It felt so good, especially when Ryan brought his hand down to grip Naomi’s hip. Pushing forward, he gave a groan. Her back arched back to meet his thrusts.
“Come on, move,” Naomi demanded. Ryan would’ve laughed if he hadn’t wanted to follow that particular instruction so much.
He thrust his hips forward. Sinking into Naomi felt like heaven. Ryan was so aware of every point where their skin touched. He brought his free hand up to Naomi’s breast, brushing his thumb across her nipple. He loved the noise she made, whimpering against his shoulder as she rocked under him.
They moved together, building a rhythm. Ryan could feel his own orgasm rising, almost too quickly. He shifted, pressing himself harder against Naomi, giving her something to grind against.
When her hips bucked under his, Ryan gave a satisfied grin, which only increased when Naomi moaned his name. “Come on,” he echoed. He wanted to make Naomi feel good, wanted to know it was all because of him.
The encouragement seemed to be enough. Naomi pushed up more, rocking against Ryan steadily. Her breath was coming in shallow bursts, moans and soft gasps replacing it. Naomi’s nails dug into Ryan’s shoulder, sending another sharp vibration of pain through him.
“Ryan!” Naomi cried. He could feel her orgasm crashing over her. The muscles around him tightened and Naomi’s thighs squeezed him hard, sending Ryan over the edge, too.
Everything trembled, from Ryan’s arms as he tried to hold himself up to something much deeper. Ryan felt as though his whole world had been tilted, like his whole life was leaning towards Naomi. He wanted to make her happy, wanted to be there for her in good times and in bad.
It should have been scary. With Naomi’s legs still wrapped around him, Ryan felt like there was nowhere he’d rather be.
He pressed a soft kiss against her lips, pouring everything he couldn’t say into the joining of their mouths.
“That was amazing,” Ryan said, when he did finally pull back. “It was like I could feel you so much more because I couldn’t see you.”
His words made Naomi give a delighted laugh, followed by a soft moan when Ryan pulled out of her. Settling next to Naomi, Ryan wrapped an arm around her waist so she’d shift in closer. Her body felt hot against his, but also so perfect. Rolling on her side, Naomi brought a hand up to stroke over Ryan’s blindfold. Her touch was soft and was followed by her lips against his.
When she moved back, it still left their noses touching lightly. A gesture so intimate that it took Ryan’s breath away. Naomi slid her finger under the strap of the blindfold so she could pull it off. Ryan had to blink
against the light, almost as if he’d forgotten how bright it could be.
“Something you might want to do again, then?” Naomi asked with a grin.
Ryan grinned, bringing his hand up to cup Naomi’s cheek. As intense as the sex had been, he was glad he had this too, that he could see how beautiful Naomi looked when she smiled. The sun shone through her hair, bring out new colors Ryan hadn’t even noticed before.
“I want to do everything with you again,” he said. He realized as he said it how true it was. He did want to do everything with Naomi. Even fight. He didn’t want to hurt her, but he wanted her there by his side, helping him to work out how they could solve things together.
“Again and for the first time,” Naomi said and somehow that sounded even better. Ryan’s stomach seemed to fill with butterflies. He leaned in to catch her in another kiss. “Again and for the first time, but after a little nap?” The suggestion was expressed with a teasing grin. Ryan laughed. Yeah, again and for the first time after a little nap sounded pretty perfect.
Ryan’s dad called as soon as his work crisis was over, with many apologies for missing Ryan’s game, and more for missing out on the chance to meet Naomi.
“She sounds like a great girl,” he said, raising his beer at Ryan over FaceTime. It was a tradition they shared. At least once a month they’d have a proper man-to-man catch-up, over beers. Ryan happened to know that his dad and Lara had exactly the same routine.
“She is,” Ryan agreed, not bothering to hide the grin. He’d already told his dad all about planting a tomato plant, and buying things for Dougie. Ryan didn’t know if those were usual markers of a relationship getting serious, but they felt that way to him.
He was pretty sure the feelings that filled him every time he saw Naomi were more than simply liking. He hadn’t told her yet. Only because they weren’t words Ryan had ever said to anyone outside his family.
“You’ll meet her next time you come up,” Ryan promised. Naomi had said as much. Ryan had no reason to believe they wouldn’t still be together.
On Ryan’s tablet screen, he could see his dad’s hand brush across the side of his wrist. His webcam wasn’t good enough quality for Ryan to see the sticker covering his dad’s soulmark, but he knew it was there.
“Have you asked her how she feels about soulmates?” his dad asked. “Whether she wants to find hers, I mean.”
Ryan’s heart suddenly felt too heavy. No. He honestly hadn’t thought about soulmates, not since the very first time he and Naomi had made love. He’d been too happy to think about them.
“Do you think I should?” Ryan asked. In some ways, he felt like it would be better not to know. His dad shrugged.
“It’s not up to me, son,” he pointed out. “I think you should spend some time thinking about what you want. Whether you want to know if there’s someone else out there-”
He didn’t need to say any more. Ryan knew what he meant. There’d been someone else out there for Ryan’s mom. She’d left his dad because she’d met ‘the one’ she was supposed to be with.
One day, there was a chance Naomi would find her soulmate, too.
Ryan shook his head. “I don’t care,” he insisted. “Not everyone meets their soulmate. I wouldn’t want to miss out on this with Naomi just because she might meet someone else. Not when it isn’t guaranteed.”
He turned the conversation back to hockey. Somehow, even after he’d hung up, Ryan couldn’t get the thought of Naomi’s soulmark out of his head. He didn’t want to know what it said. He didn’t want to look suspiciously at every guy Naomi met who had the ‘right’ name.
But the fact was, that guy would still exist. Somewhere in the world, there was a man Naomi was perfectly compatible with. A man who’d have her name written under a sticker somewhere on his body. Her soulmate.
And it sure as hell wasn’t Ryan.
Ryan had known for a long time that he wasn’t anybody’s soulmate. It was why he hadn’t dated much. He’d figured there was no point. Why start something when he was never going to be anybody’s Mr. Right? Then Naomi had come along, turning his whole world upside down. She was perfect.
But Ryan wasn’t perfect for her. If they stayed together, he was robbing her of the chance to be with someone she could love. Even if Naomi thought she might love Ryan, he would always know that there was somebody else she was supposed to love more.
But Naomi wouldn’t know that. Not unless Ryan told her the truth about his soulmark. If she knew, if he explained to her that he wasn’t destined to be with anyone, would she reconsider?
They hadn’t talked about soulmates. Ryan knew that most people did, eventually. There were magazine articles about how to find the right moment to bring it up, so that you and your partner could compare what your soulmarks said.
None of those articles ever talked about what to do if you knew you didn’t have a soulmate.
Ryan’s heart ached in his chest. He wanted to believe that he and Naomi could stay together, that maybe they’d last long enough to think about living together. He wanted to believe it.
Ryan knew he loved Naomi. More than he’d ever expected to love anyone outside his family.
If he loved her, shouldn’t he do the right thing?
She’d probably thank him, one day.
For a few days, Ryan went back and forth on the decision. Whenever he and Naomi were apart, he’d think about how he should break things off. He’d see Ashley and Connor, and how loved up they were. Or he’d hear Blake and Remy talking about how things were going with Thea and Doe.
They were all so happy. Ryan wanted Naomi to have that. To have the hope of that. He knew that not everybody met their soulmate, but Naomi was so great that surely, someone would come along?
When they were together, Ryan’s strength wavered. He had such a good time with her. He didn’t want it all to be over. Selfishly, he wanted to keep seeing her. But the more time they spent together, the more Ryan realized how much it would hurt when they couldn’t be.
More than once, he almost asked Naomi what her soulmark said. Maybe it was a really unusual name. Maybe that would mean there was a smaller chance of Naomi ever meeting the right person.
Ryan knew he shouldn’t hope for that. He shouldn’t want Naomi to miss out on the chance of meeting her soulmate.
The problem gnawed at Ryan. The longer he went without making a decision, the harder it got to be distracted from it.
Two weeks after his conversation with his dad, Ryan could barely even sit through dinner with Naomi without his stomach churning at the thought of what he knew he should do.
Something had to be done. Ryan couldn’t keep putting it off.
Chapter Eight
Naomi had noticed that something was off with Ryan. These past few weeks, he seemed to be getting more and more distracted when they were together. At first, she had assumed that it was something at work, stress about the games or whatever. The more it kept happening, the more Naomi began to wonder if it was her.
Mostly from anecdotal evidence, Naomi knew that the three-month mark in a relationship could be tough. She had never really thought about it. Now that she and Ryan had dated for three months... well, it was hard not to.
Whatever the problem was, Ryan didn’t seem to be bringing it up. Instead, there was just a little bit of tension, a little bit of avoidance, a little bit of awkwardness. All those little bits kept building and building until Naomi wasn’t sure she could take it anymore.
If he wasn’t going to bring it up, she’d have to.
They were having dinner at hers that evening, Dougie lying under the table in hopes that something delicious might fall from someone’s plate. Naomi had just finished telling Ryan about the latest charity event the Foundation was planning to run. She had mostly gotten ‘yeah’s and ‘uh huh’s in return. It seemed like the perfect time to ask.
“Is something going on?” Naomi asked setting her fork down. “You’ve been... a bit off these past few weeks. I’m starti
ng to think it’s me,” the last part was said teasingly but, well, Naomi did worry it might be her.
The silence before Ryan answered lasted long enough to make Naomi feel deeply uncomfortable. Maybe it really was her. Naomi couldn’t think of anything she’d done wrong.
“I have been off,” Ryan finally said. “It’s not you, exactly. It’s -” He trailed off, making some gesture with his hand which Naomi trusted he didn’t expect her to actually follow.
He took a breath, then let it out slowly. “I don’t really think this is working,” he said. It made Naomi’s stomach clench. She might’ve predicted this, but she still didn’t want it to be happening.
“You’re great,” Ryan muttered. “I just don’t think we really… fit.”
Naomi... disagreed.
These past few months - up until the last two weeks - had been fantastic. Ryan was the best boyfriend she’d ever had. He wasn’t what Naomi had expected, not at all. Yet, he was such a good match for her. Except... apparently not according to him.
It also kind of stung to be told that it wasn’t her exactly. Like maybe it was her.
Naomi felt a little bit sick. She didn’t want this to be happening. Mostly, she’d assumed they’d talk about whatever was bothering Ryan and, well, fix it. This didn’t feel like fixing things. She found it deeply upsetting, that he’d jump straight to...
“You want to break up with me,” Naomi stated rather than questioned. What was the point of beating around the bush? That was what Ryan was suggesting, wasn’t it? “But... why?” She didn’t see his point of them not fitting. It made Naomi feel... kind of stupid. Like she was missing something so obvious. Except she also thought her and Ryan fit so well.
“Because -” Ryan stopped. Naomi grit her teeth, making a conscious effort to give him the time to finish whatever he’d been going to say.
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